Originally Posted By: B.D.Thomas
Would changing the last line to "This is what I gonna be" make it better?

That's your call.

I'll be honest: I'm pretty brutal when it comes to edits and rewrites. For example, I think the first verse would be a lot stronger if you shuffled things around a bit:

   A life that seems so good
   It's just a facade, built on wealth and looks
   Born of insecurity
   I live on thin ice
   The expectations I try to fulfill
   Are not for me, or the person I want to be

But that's not the same as thinking you should actually rewrite it.

Because - for me, anyway - rewriting involves throwing old stuff out, and replacing it with new material. Rhymes and lines I love are tossed out, and although I think I end up with a stronger song, it's not the same song.

I'm not sure that something you want to do.

So the minor edits? Do what you think is best. I don't think it'll make that much difference.

But your singers won't care, either way. laugh

-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?