Title: Abused (a silent cry)

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inoxuBo1MLM

This is probably the saddest song I have ever written and will ever write, it is about one of my best friends who, in her thirties, began to seek professional help because she didn't understand why she was self-harming, cutting herself and biting her arms and doing all these nasty things.

The uncomfortable truth was that she had been abused as a child but had always repressed those memories.
We talked a lot about this, and this song is about what I felt then and still feel.
Unfortunately, unlike most of my other songs, it's not fictional.

I thought for a long time about whether or not to publish this song because it might open up old wounds in people who have
experienced the same thing.
But I think it's better to talk about things than to hide them.

The usual unsolicited information:
  • for my taste the song is a bit slow, but if I change the BPM just a bit from 96 to 102 the song doesn't work anymore
  • the images were created with Stable Diffusion AI
  • even though I'm the writer (which means I've probably heard the song a million times) it still makes me sad to listen to the song
  • I would have LOVED if she would have sung this song, because she is a singer and has a beautiful voice (similar to Tracy Chapman)
    but she is no longer with us frown

Special thanks to Marty for proofreading the lyrics and his thoughts on what they might also mean.
And to David Cuny for a different perspective on the meaning of the song and lots of lyrical suggestions.
You guys rule!

Some technical information:
Style: _TEARS.STY

The band:
Drums: MarkTreeFills, SkaSlow70sWesPerc, PopCountry16ths
Bass: 518, 572, 2474 (all re-amped)
Piano: 1406
Guitars: 3435, 3731, 3738
Strings and Synths: 1543 + yours truly

Vocals: Natalie with BG vocals from Solaria and Cong.

You can find the lyrics in the next post.

Making bits and bytes sound good...

Goldmania Bella - A One-Man Girlband with no fans
Listen on Spotify
Watch on YouTube