ChatGPT’s take (and I hope you don’t mind me doing this!)

“Overall, your lyrics convey a sense of nostalgia for a simpler time while also touching on the darker aspects of childhood and societal expectations. I like how you use the nursery rhyme of "itsy bitsy spider" to contrast with the more serious themes of the song. Your use of cultural references from different eras adds depth to the lyrics and gives the listener a sense of the different societal pressures that children face.

“In terms of suggestions for improvement, I think there are a few places where the lyrics could benefit from a clearer structure or more specific imagery. For example, in the line "The danger not strangers but those in the hive," it's not entirely clear what you're referring to. Additionally, there are some places where the rhymes feel forced or predictable, such as "girls don’t tell – just be seen / What would The Beaver do?" *

“Overall, though, I think you have a strong foundation for a thought-provoking and emotional song. With some revision and fine-tuning, I believe it could be very impactful.”

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* I do not agree with these. — MH

Last edited by Mark Hayes; 03/06/23 03:25 AM.