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I'm writing this song, for a friend, to be done vocally. (if I can find a lyricist) Does anyone remember Zuriel Rubio? I figured I would do an instrumental version as a base. Song For ZConstructive comments appreciated. Thanks, Mick
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Beautiful song Mick. I like it just the way it is. Love the melody, it is gorgeous.
Way to go . . . .
Trax
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What sort of feedback are you looking for? It's hard to guess how close to the final version you think this demo is. Here's my thoughts - hopefully you'll find some of it constructive. If not, sorry - just ignore it and have a nice day.  I liked the progression on the introduction, but felt the mix and instrumentation was muddy and buried in strings and bass. The fretless bass is nice, but it's a very "wide" sound, and spreads across the spectrum. It's got the feel of one of the "New Age" sorts of styles. Perhaps changing to a simpler electric bass or EQing it a bit would help. The strings definitely need to be reined in a bit - perhaps you could build them through the introduction, and then bring them down at the beginning of the verse. I think you could trim the introduction to 0:12 without much damage. 24 seconds is a bit long for the introduction to a tune. The lead instrument is pleasant and appealing, and the melody is attractive, with a very Roger Whittaker sound. The guitar is obviously MIDI, and doesn't initially sound bad, but after a number of repeats the mechanical quality of the playing becomes obvious. If you could get a real guitar in there, it would help a lot. By the second verse, I was hoping for a change in instruments - perhaps the addition of a snare, and moving the strings to a higher register. At 1:09, I think a change in instrumental texture is definitely called for - the melody's taken on a change, and the instruments should too. I like the hold that you've got at 1:17, but I think it would be more dramatic without the strings. With the repeat of the tune at 1:30, I'm definitely wanting to hear something new in the drums. You're revisiting the same melody that's already been played twice with the same musical arrangement. It needs some variety to make it fresh this time around. At 2:00, the embellishment with the triplets make for a nice addition to the melody. By this point, I'm thinking that the tune should be wrapping up. With the repeat at 2:34, you've got me expecting the tune to be ending. There's a nice little extension at 2:38, and I'm expecting the cadence at 2:47 to be the end. But... the song continues. I'm an impatient listener (probably not your target demographic), so at this point, I figure that it better be really good to warrant another go round. Now, if you've got lyrics to add to the song, that gives it a whole new perspective. But without those, I can only judge what you've posted. The tune comes back with the same melody, but this time, there's a kick drum that's prominent in the mix. My ears are not liking the high-end smack of the kick drum, and by 2:45 it's starting to hurt my ears. It's too loud, and too present. The song's basically a recap of what's gone before, but with more percussion. I like the added crash cymbals at 3:37, but the constant smacking of the kick drum is wearying. And since it's pretty much an exact repeat musically of what's gone before, it's hard to hold my attention. Summary: Pleasant tune, but as an instrumental I think it needs more change instrumentally, and should end at 2:47. Of course, adding lyrics makes it a whole new ballgame - a compelling lyric changes everything. Edit: Changed "reigned in" to "reined in". 
Last edited by dcuny; 12/20/10 09:21 AM.
-- David Cuny My virtual singer development blogVocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?BiaB 2025 | Windows 11 | Reaper | Way too many VSTis.
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Trax: Thanks for listening and commenting.
Dave: Thanks for listening. I really appreciate the effort you put into listening. That was the most straightforward & in-depth review I've ever gotten, and I agree with everything you said & appreciate the pointers. You picked up things I was sure no one would notice. Nice ear! It is too long as an instrumental.
Mick
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Hi Mick!
I love that melody you have going on here. I agree with a lot of what Dave has already suggested. However I think you could keep the same instrument lead if the song was cut in half time wise. I love that sound!
I do agree with him on that kick, way too loud and I didn’t feel that sound fit the song.
You have the makings of a winner instrumental here!
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