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I'm working on some comedy type songs for boaters and I have changed the words to this old Irish song "No Nay Never" (sorry to my Irish friends for wrecking this great song.)
I'm looking for advice. Keep in mind this is for the boating crowd- Do these words suck? Do you think they will get a laugh? Did they make you smile? Does anyone have any ideas for new verses? I was thinking of putting a line in about "selling my boat on ebay" but can't figure it in yet. Can anyone think of a good baib style that would fit this song.
Here is what I have so far- No Nay Never-(sailing verison)
I've been a wild sailor for many a year I've spent all my money on whiskey and beer And now I'm returning, I'm sunburned and sore and I never will be a wild sailor no more
And it's no, nay, never No, nay never no more Will I be a wild sailor No, never, no more
I've sailed through rough waters till I turned black and blue And lived many months eating from cans of stew I've been dismasted, I've torn all my sails Been hit by the boom and collided with whales
And it's...
As I head to the Gulf stream I ask if I'm sane And If I' get home, I won't do this again! I'll return to my family and do what they please And hope they don't notice I've picked up a disease
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As the seagulls screech above me it makes me think of my wife Except they never cause me pain and no strife They’re happy if you slip them one old cold sardine Unlike the one that lies next to me home whilst I dream
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Ed, I wrote 4 verses for you. I'd never heard the song before so I listened to a clip online. I didn't change the chorus but I did work in your line about selling the boat on ebay. No, Nay Never (revised) We set sail today, but I’m fear for my life Cause I know I’ll eventually return to my wife She knows the new deckhand with the flowing red curls Is the neighbors first born, the first sailing young girl As the seagulls screech above me it makes me think of my wife Except they never cause me pain and no strife They’re happy if you slip them one old cold sardine Unlike the one that lies next to me home whilst I dream (chorus) And it's no, nay, never No, nay never no more Will I be a wild sailor No, never, no more The days are getting’ shorter and the night has a chill The swabbies’ are wishin’ each other they could kill The loneliness shatters the rocks in their heads I guess that’s why John and Bill share a bed (repeat chorus) The bird on my shoulder, he’s along for the ride He always agrees with me come low or high tide He’ll watch from his perch, as we dock late today Flap his wings with joy as the boat sells on ebay (repeat chorus)
Last edited by bobcflatpicker; 09/19/10 07:43 PM.
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Cool stuff Bob-thanks for the ebay line-I lllllllllike it.
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Ed, That's the only line you liked!!!! LOL. I thought it was pretty funny.
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Ed,
I don't know what meter you plan to use, but when I read through the lyrics I see too many syllables.
For example:
I've been a wild sailor for many a year I've spent all my money on whiskey and beer And now I'm returning, I'm sunburned and sore and I never will be a wild sailor no more
Could read:
I've been a wild sailor for many a year Spent all my money on whiskey and beer Now I'm returning; sunburned and sore Never will be a wild sailor no more
-----------------------
There's no need for all the 'and' and 'I' words if you aren't changing the main subject; which happens to be you, the wild sailor, telling this tale.
-Scott
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Hi Ed I tend to agree with reducing the number of "little" words as Scott suggested - there are a couple of places where they are not needed at the start of lines. A suggestion for the closing because once you're a sailor, you're always a sailor, the desire never goes, right? I wouldn't know - I'm not a sailor - but I feel that way about my Timmy's coffee. Quote:
I'll return to my family and do what they please And hope they don't notice I've picked up a disease
How about: I'll return to my family and do what they please But never be rid of this sailing disease.
Sounds like an interesting project you olde salt.
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I like that idea for the last line. Thanks. If you hear the original the "I'" and extra words fit in quite nicely. I will however go over all the extra ones with a fine tooth comb.
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. There is nothing wrong with the meter as it stands. The syllables fall into a triplet pattern, consistent with the tune's Irish origins. There will be pickup notes on some of the lines, which could add a nice degree of variety.
Last edited by flatfoot; 09/23/10 12:03 PM.
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