|
Log in to post
|
Print Thread |
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 809
Expert
|
OP
Expert
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 809 |
I'm working on some comedy type songs for boaters and I have changed the words to this old Irish song "No Nay Never" (sorry to my Irish friends for wrecking this great song.)
I'm looking for advice. Keep in mind this is for the boating crowd- Do these words suck? Do you think they will get a laugh? Did they make you smile? Does anyone have any ideas for new verses? I was thinking of putting a line in about "selling my boat on ebay" but can't figure it in yet. Can anyone think of a good baib style that would fit this song.
Here is what I have so far-
No Nay Never-(sailing verison)
I've been a wild sailor for many a year
I've spent all my money on whiskey and beer
And now I'm returning, I'm sunburned and sore
and I never will be a wild sailor no more
And it's no, nay, never
No, nay never no more
Will I be a wild sailor
No, never, no more
I've sailed through rough waters till I turned black and blue
And lived many months eating from cans of stew
I've been dismasted, I've torn all my sails
Been hit by the boom and collided with whales
And it's...
As I head to the Gulf stream I ask if I'm sane
And If I' get home, I won't do this again!
I'll return to my family and do what they please
And hope they don't notice I've picked up a disease
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,250
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,250 |
As the seagulls screech above me it makes me think of my wife Except they never cause me pain and no strife They’re happy if you slip them one old cold sardine Unlike the one that lies next to me home whilst I dream  
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,250
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,250 |
Ed, I wrote 4 verses for you. I'd never heard the song before so I listened to a clip online. I didn't change the chorus but I did work in your line about selling the boat on ebay. No, Nay Never (revised) We set sail today, but I’m fear for my life Cause I know I’ll eventually return to my wife She knows the new deckhand with the flowing red curls Is the neighbors first born, the first sailing young girl As the seagulls screech above me it makes me think of my wife Except they never cause me pain and no strife They’re happy if you slip them one old cold sardine Unlike the one that lies next to me home whilst I dream (chorus) And it's no, nay, never No, nay never no more Will I be a wild sailor No, never, no more The days are getting’ shorter and the night has a chill The swabbies’ are wishin’ each other they could kill The loneliness shatters the rocks in their heads I guess that’s why John and Bill share a bed (repeat chorus) The bird on my shoulder, he’s along for the ride He always agrees with me come low or high tide He’ll watch from his perch, as we dock late today Flap his wings with joy as the boat sells on ebay (repeat chorus)
Last edited by bobcflatpicker; 09/19/10 07:43 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 809
Expert
|
|
OP
Expert
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 809 |
Cool stuff Bob-thanks for the ebay line-I lllllllllike it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,250
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 4,250 |
Ed, That's the only line you liked!!!! LOL. I thought it was pretty funny.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 7,913
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 7,913 |
Ed,
I don't know what meter you plan to use, but when I read through the lyrics I see too many syllables.
For example:
I've been a wild sailor for many a year
I've spent all my money on whiskey and beer
And now I'm returning, I'm sunburned and sore
and I never will be a wild sailor no more
Could read:
I've been a wild sailor for many a year
Spent all my money on whiskey and beer
Now I'm returning; sunburned and sore
Never will be a wild sailor no more
-----------------------
There's no need for all the 'and' and 'I' words if you aren't changing the main subject; which happens to be you, the wild sailor, telling this tale.
-Scott
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,696
Expert
|
|
Expert
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,696 |
Hi Ed I tend to agree with reducing the number of "little" words as Scott suggested - there are a couple of places where they are not needed at the start of lines. A suggestion for the closing because once you're a sailor, you're always a sailor, the desire never goes, right? I wouldn't know - I'm not a sailor - but I feel that way about my Timmy's coffee.  Quote:
I'll return to my family and do what they please
And hope they don't notice I've picked up a disease
How about:
I'll return to my family and do what they please
But never be rid of this sailing disease.
Sounds like an interesting project you olde salt.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 809
Expert
|
|
OP
Expert
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 809 |
I like that idea for the last line. Thanks. If you hear the original the "I'" and extra words fit in quite nicely. I will however go over all the extra ones with a fine tooth comb.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Off-Topic
|
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 2,217
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 2,217 |
.
There is nothing wrong with the meter as it stands. The syllables fall into a triplet pattern, consistent with the tune's Irish origins. There will be pickup notes on some of the lines, which could add a nice degree of variety.
Last edited by flatfoot; 09/23/10 12:03 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Video: Next-Level AI Music Editing with ACE Studio and Band-in-a-Box®
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 German for Windows is Here!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 für Windows Deutsch ist verfügbar!
Wir waren fleißig und haben über 50 neue Funktionen und eine erstaunliche Sammlung neuer Inhalte hinzugefügt, darunter 222 RealTracks, neue RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, "Songs with Vocals" Artist Performance Sets, abspielbare RealTracks Set 3, abspielbare RealDrums Set 2, zwei neue Sets von "RealDrums Stems", XPro Styles PAK 6, Xtra Styles PAK 17 und mehr!
Paket | Was ist Neu
Update Your PowerTracks Pro Audio 2024 Today!
The Newest RealBand 2024 Update is Here!
The newest RealBand 2024 Build 5 update is now available!
Download and install this to your RealBand 2024 for updated print options, streamlined loading and saving of .SGU & MGU (BB) files, and to add a number of program adjustments that address user-reported bugs and concerns.
This free update is available to all RealBand 2024 users. To learn more about this update and download it, head to www.pgmusic.com/support.realband.htm#20245
The Band-in-a-Box® Flash Drive Backup Option
Today (April 5) is National Flash Drive Day!
Did you know... not only can you download your Band-in-a-Box® Pro, MegaPAK, or PlusPAK purchase - you can also choose to add a flash drive backup copy with the installation files for only $15? It even comes with a Band-in-a-Box® keychain!
For the larger Band-in-a-Box® packages (UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition), the hard drive backup copy is available for only $25. This will include a preinstalled and ready to use program, along with your installation files.
Backup copies are offered during the checkout process on our website.
Already purchased your e-delivery version, and now you wish you had a backup copy? It's not too late! If your purchase was for the current version of Band-in-a-Box®, you can still reach out to our team directly to place your backup copy order!
Note: the Band-in-a-Box® keychain is only included with flash drive backup copies, and cannot be purchased separately.
Handy flash drive tip: Always try plugging in a USB device the wrong way first? If your flash drive (or other USB plug) doesn't have a symbol to indicate which way is up, look for the side with a seam on the metal connector (it only has a line across one side) - that's the side that either faces down or to the left, depending on your port placement.
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows® Today!
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows for free with build 1111!
With this update, there's more control when saving images from the Print Preview window, we've added defaults to the MultiPicker for sorting and font size, updated printing options, updated RealTracks and other content, and addressed user-reported issues with the StylePicker, MIDI Soloists, key signature changes, and more!
Learn more about this free update for Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows at www.pgmusic.com/support_windowsupdates.htm#1111
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 Review: 4.75 out of 5 Stars!
If you're looking for a in-depth review of the newest Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows version, you'll definitely find it with Sound-Guy's latest review, Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows Review: Incredible new capabilities to experiment, compose, arrange and mix songs.
A few excerpts:
"The Tracks view is possibly the single most powerful addition in 2024 and opens up a new way to edit and generate accompaniments. Combined with the new MultiPicker Library Window, it makes BIAB nearly perfect as an 'intelligent' composer/arranger program."
"MIDI SuperTracks partial generation showing six variations – each time the section is generated it can be instantly auditioned, re-generated or backed out to a previous generation – and you can do this with any track type. This is MAJOR! This takes musical experimentation and honing an arrangement to a new level, and faster than ever."
"Band in a Box continues to be an expansive musical tool-set for both novice and experienced musicians to experiment, compose, arrange and mix songs, as well as an extensive educational resource. It is huge, with hundreds of functions, more than any one person is likely to ever use. Yet, so is any DAW that I have used. BIAB can do some things that no DAW does, and this year BIAB has more DAW-like functions than ever."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums66
Topics81,641
Posts735,380
Members38,525
| |
Most Online2,537
Jan 19th, 2020
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dansk
Deutsch - Windows
Español
Français - Windows
Italiano - Windows
Nederlands
Polski
Português
Svenskt
русский
Japanese
Simplified Chinese
Traditional Chinese
Korean