You need to be logged in to post
Options
Index
#139906 - 12/09/11 03:56 PM [User Showcase] New Song, need advise
Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
Superbron Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
Hi all,

It's been a while since I posted my last song here. Here's one with little to no Biab involved. I could need some advise though: as non-native english speaker it's always difficult to write fitting lyrics. Anyway: enjoy!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=665106&songID=7192660

Cheers,

Superbron
_________________________
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
www.soundclick.com/superbron

Top
#139907 - 12/12/11 10:04 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song, need advise [Re: Superbron]
Registered: 07/12/07
Posts: 951
Loc: France, but I'm an ex-pat Brit
mglinert Offline
Expert

Registered: 07/12/07
Posts: 951
Loc: France, but I'm an ex-pat Brit
Thoughtful piece, SuperBron in what is a new genre for you.

The main problem here regarding the lyric is that your phrasing pattern pretty well thoughout the song is x/X/x i.e. three sylables with the accent (further emphasized by the rising melody) falling on the second of the three.

You must then choose lyrics which fit this pattern.

Some of your lines do:
(‘this planet ‘,‘let's break with’, ‘traditions’, ‘stop toxic’, ‘emissions’)

..but other do not, and these sound forced, awkward, clumsy.. (‘we call Earth’, ‘is the place’, ‘of our birth’, ‘poisoning’)

Regards,

Marc
_________________________
Marc's SoundCloud
Marc's SoundClick

Top
#139908 - 12/13/11 01:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song, need advise [Re: mglinert]
Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
Superbron Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
Hi Marc,

Thanks for listening and your advise. It's indeed new terrain and I think you nailed the problem I have with this song. It's very hard for a non-native english speaker to get the emphasizes (is this correct?) right. Can you let me know of all lines which are correct and which are not? Thanks in advance.

Cheers,

Bron
_________________________
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
www.soundclick.com/superbron

Top
#139909 - 12/14/11 02:00 PM [User Showcase] Re: New Song, need advise [Re: Superbron]
Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 13801
Loc: Hamlin NY
MarioD Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 13801
Loc: Hamlin NY
Welcome back Superbron!

Yes, the correct word is emphasizes and while I do agree with Marc I don’t think you were that far off. I think it sounds like it does more because of the rising melody. Is there anyway you can cut the volume, maybe by velocity if midi, on that?

Also why not sing it in your native language? Sing it that way and see how the emphasis comes out. Then if you want to sing it in English you have something to compare it to. Just a thought!

You have come a long way in your song writing and production skills!
_________________________
It has been a joy being quarantined with my wife. We've caught up on all the things I have done wrong in our 53 years of marriage!

64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB and RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software and some hardware.

Top
#139910 - 12/16/11 08:53 AM [User Showcase] Re: New Song, need advise [Re: MarioD]
Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
Superbron Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
Hi MarioD,

Thanks for listening and your advise. I will try writing some lyrics in Frisian (my native language) of Dutch which I am very familiar with as well.

Cheers,

Superbron
_________________________
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
www.soundclick.com/superbron

Top


PG Music News
Band-in-a-Box® 2020 for Windows Updated!

If you're using Band-in-a-Box® 2020 for Windows along with the DAW Plugin, you're going to love the latest free patch update, which resolves any issues had with multiple instances of program files running that resulted in the DAW Plugin closing.

Learn more about this free update patch (which also includes VST DAW Plugin 2.6.8) and download it here.

#TBT - The Introduction of Xtra Styles PAKs for Band-in-a-Box!

We've just released Xtra Styles PAK 9 for Band-in-a-Box® 2020, and to celebrate we've put ALL of our Xtra Styles PAKs on SALE until June 30, 2020!

Xtra Styles PAKs were first introduced in August 2016, and required the Band-in-a-Box® 2016 and higher UltraPlusPAK, EverythingPAK, or Audiophile Edition.

You may notice that all of our Xtra Styles PAKs require the 'latest' UltraPAK or higher - this is because they utilize our complete (and at the time current) library of RealTracks and RealDrums.

What are Xtra Styles?
Xtra Styles are RealStyles created by our development team. They've taken our existing RealTracks and RealDrums collection and remixed them to make the new and unique arrangements heard with every new Xtra Styles PAK released.

These RealStyles are Band-in-a-Box® styles that only use RealTracks and RealDrums - the result: an incredible band to back you up and perform your songs

Xtra Styles PAKs are on SALE until June 30th!
Purchase the complete Xtra Styles PAKs library with over 1,400 RealStyles for the special price of $199 (reg. $349)

Already have a few of our Xtra Styles PAKs? Top up now - each of our 9 Xtra Styles PAKs are just $29 (reg. $49)!

Learn more about Xtra Styles PAKs for Band-in-a-Box and listen to demos here.

Mac user? Click here for demo and purchase links.

How-to Video: Section Text labels and Lyrics

Check out our special YouTube Channel, PG Music Inc. Support Videos, which is where we share videos our support team makes at the request of a customer, or to help out an existing customer issue.

The latest video, Band-in-a-Box How to: Section Text labels and Lyrics quickly walks you through section text labels and lyrics in Band-in-a-Box for Windows! Watch now...

Want to see a specific video? Share your request here.

#TipTuesday - Band-in-a-Box® Patch Updates

We never stop here at PG Music, so make sure that you check in on your installation of Band-in-a-Box® occasionally - we frequently release free patch updates to enhance existing versions, and fix 'bugs' reported by program users.

Windows program updates can be found here. We have a separate page for Mac updates, here.

You can also setup Band-in-a-Box® to check for updates automatically! Head to the Preferences window in the program, and select "Automatically check for updates every [__] days" (choose your number).

Not sure which "build" you have? Help | About... will bring up a window that will show your exact version number!

Band-in-a-Box® 2020 - Xtra Styles PAK 9 & Loops-with-Style PAK 2 Bundle!

Have you heard? We have NEW Band-in-a-Box Add-ons!

Xtra Styles PAK 9 and Loops-with-Style PAK 2 will SUPERCHARGE your Band-in-a-Box® 2020 UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition!

200 NEW RealStyles have been added with Xtra Styles PAK 9 - 50 Rock-Pop, 50 Jazz, 50 Country, and 50 Folk & Beyond 2!

Loops-with-Style PAK 2 includes 100 NEW Loops and 50 NEW styles, and adds 2 new genres to our Loops-with-Style collection: gospel and funk!

Bundle both the Xtra Styles PAK 9 and Loops-with-Style PAK 2 into one convenient purchase, only $48 until June 30th! Click here to choose your purchase.

Mac user? Click here for your order links.

RealBand 2020 for Windows Updated Harmonies Feature!

The latest RealBand 2020 Update includes enhancements to the harmonies feature, improvements for audio recording, and more!

Click here to review and download this free update patch (build 4).

Video: Band-in-a-Box® - Xtra Styles PAK 9 Overview & Demos

Xtra Styles PAK 9 includes 200 NEW RealStyles for Rock-Pop, Jazz, Country, and Folk & Beyond!

There are 50 new RealStyles for each genre, with MultiStyles included in each genre too!

Learn more about loading and using Xtra Styles PAK 9 in Band-in-a-Box® 2020 and listen to the demos for the 200 new RealStyles in Xtra Styles PAK 9 with our latest video: Band-in-a-Box® - Xtra Styles PAK 9: Overview & Demos.

Add Xtra Styles PAK 9 to your band for just $29 until June 30th! Order here.

Windows user? Click here for Windows purchase links and details.

Forum Stats
32257 Members
65 Forums
64515 Topics
547004 Posts

Max Online: 2537 @ 01/19/20 07:09 AM
Newest Members
artband2, winddealer, Lrkent, Captstic, SD-90canvas

32256 Registered Users
Top Posters (30 Days)
MarioD 209
Pipeline 158
VideoTrack 157
Janice & Bud 130
Matt Finley 119
floyd jane 105
Jim Fogle 102
furry 101
Scott C 99
rayc 94
Today's Birthdays
Curmudgeon, Romain, rwl7532