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#139906 - 12/09/11 03:56 PM
[User Showcase]
New Song, need advise
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Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
Journeyman
Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
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Hi all, It's been a while since I posted my last song here. Here's one with little to no Biab involved. I could need some advise though: as non-native english speaker it's always difficult to write fitting lyrics. Anyway: enjoy! http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=665106&songID=7192660Cheers, Superbron
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#139907 - 12/12/11 10:04 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: New Song, need advise
[Re: Superbron]
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Registered: 07/12/07
Posts: 951
Loc: France, but I'm an ex-pat Brit
Expert
Registered: 07/12/07
Posts: 951
Loc: France, but I'm an ex-pat Brit
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Thoughtful piece, SuperBron in what is a new genre for you.
The main problem here regarding the lyric is that your phrasing pattern pretty well thoughout the song is x/X/x i.e. three sylables with the accent (further emphasized by the rising melody) falling on the second of the three.
You must then choose lyrics which fit this pattern.
Some of your lines do:
(‘this planet ‘,‘let's break with’, ‘traditions’, ‘stop toxic’, ‘emissions’)
..but other do not, and these sound forced, awkward, clumsy.. (‘we call Earth’, ‘is the place’, ‘of our birth’, ‘poisoning’)
Regards,
Marc
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#139908 - 12/13/11 01:03 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: New Song, need advise
[Re: mglinert]
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Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
Journeyman
Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
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Hi Marc,
Thanks for listening and your advise. It's indeed new terrain and I think you nailed the problem I have with this song. It's very hard for a non-native english speaker to get the emphasizes (is this correct?) right. Can you let me know of all lines which are correct and which are not? Thanks in advance.
Cheers,
Bron
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#139909 - 12/14/11 02:00 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: New Song, need advise
[Re: Superbron]
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Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 14103
Loc: Hamlin NY
Veteran
Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 14103
Loc: Hamlin NY
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Welcome back Superbron!
Yes, the correct word is emphasizes and while I do agree with Marc I don’t think you were that far off. I think it sounds like it does more because of the rising melody. Is there anyway you can cut the volume, maybe by velocity if midi, on that?
Also why not sing it in your native language? Sing it that way and see how the emphasis comes out. Then if you want to sing it in English you have something to compare it to. Just a thought!
You have come a long way in your song writing and production skills!
_________________________
It has been a joy being quarantined with my wife. We've caught up on all the things I have done wrong in our 53 years of marriage!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB and RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software and some hardware.
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#139910 - 12/16/11 08:53 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: New Song, need advise
[Re: MarioD]
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Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
Journeyman
Registered: 02/25/07
Posts: 514
Loc: The Netherlands, Europe
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Hi MarioD,
Thanks for listening and your advise. I will try writing some lyrics in Frisian (my native language) of Dutch which I am very familiar with as well.
Cheers,
Superbron
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Band-in-a-Box® user Henry Clarke creates a lot of great songs with Band-in-a-Box®, and he's shared his steps for creating the shots/chops within his recent song Lonely in a Crowd.
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Have your own program tip to share? Feel free to post it to our Tips & Tricks forum.
#TipTuesday
Uncommon RealTracks Instruments for Band-in-a-Box®
Today is Uncommon Instrument Awareness Day.
Examples of "uncommon instruments" include anything from Spoons to the Wheelharp to the Singing Ringing Tree, and more!
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Kalimba: RealTracks Set 271
Koto: RealTracks Set 212
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What's the most surprising RealTrack Instrument that you've come across?
Band-in-a-Box® 2020 Portuguese for Windows is Here!
Existem mais de 50 novos recursos no Band-in-a-Box® 2020! Existem aprimoramentos no RealTracks (RealTracks vocais com som mais suave, RealTracks Engrossados, Substitutos de RealTracks e MultiFrases). A maioria dos RealDrums agora possui RealCharts (com notação de bateria precisa). Há um novo navegador de artistas do RealTracks para encontrar informações/biografias/links/listas de RealTracks em todos os artistas. Um novo Navegador de recursos permite que o usuário novo ou "esquecido" encontre e use facilmente a maioria dos recursos/teclas de atalho/documentos em uma única janela. Equalizar Tempoaprimoramentos na Seleção de Músicas, baixo/bateria ou apenas bateria nas introduções automáticas, 3.400 títulos adicionados, aprimoramentos no MusicXML, visualização de guitarra para "Canhotos" e "Estudantes", aprimoramentos de arrastar e soltar, exibição de várias janelas do Interpretador de Acordes de Áudio e muito mais!
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Band-in-a-Box® 2019 Mac Update Ready!
Just because Band-in-a-Box® 2020 for Mac is here doesn't mean we've forgotten our 2019 users!
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"Dr. Dave" Walker is at it again! You may remember his recent reviews of both Band-in-a-Box 2020 for Mac and Xtra Styles PAK 9 - now he has something to say about our Loops-with-Style PAK 2 - check it out: Click here to read...
With money being tight for most musicians, this is a wonderful gift for those on a limited budget. At $29, it offers months and years of fun and experimentation, bringing many ideas to fruition as songs with enough variation so that your audience doesn’t jump to "aw, that's a computer!" while still keeping the power of the software in your hands.
-"Dr. Dave" Walker
Thank you again Dr. Dave for the great review!
Learn more about Loops-with-Style PAKs: Windows | Mac
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