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#216448 - 09/28/13 11:15 PM
[User Showcase]
Something's Gone Wrong
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9195
Loc: Florida
Veteran
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9195
Loc: Florida
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I'm not a real political kind of guy. I have my opinions (like most folks), but you generally won't find me on a soapbox. There is, however, one thing that riles me... At work, every year at the beginning of the school year, there are boxes set out so that we can fill them with school supplies to be distrubuted to the local schools. Because they don't have the money to buy books and pencils and paper. Education should be the top of the heap - not the bottom. We can spend BILLIONS killing people. We can spend BILLIONS bailing out the banks 'cause they apparently forgot how to run a business... But we can't supply our schools. Or pay our teachers. Or keep people working, for that matter... People who WANT to work can't find jobs. What has happened????? Seems to me... SOMETHING'S GONE WRONG ain't afraid of a little hard work mud on my boots and a sweat stained shirt long as i'm paid... it's never been that tough i'm good with my hands... i can drive truck never been one to depend on luck or charity... but it's never been this rough thought i'd try the hardware store turns out chuck isn't there no more there's not enough work for the extra hand checked the warehouse and UPS they got all the men they need i guess or they'll just make do with what they got if they can tell me what i missed.. who made that call.. who changed the game how'd it come to this.. who dropped the ball.. tell me who's to blame oh, when a good man can't find work feed his family and hope is gone something's gone wrong something's gone wrong i cast my vote.. i help put them there i was damn proud when i heard them swear they're gonna make things right.. they're gonna change the rules there's plenty of cash for a war or two gotta help the banks what else could we do but there's not enough left to send my kids to school tell me what i missed.. who made that call.. who changed the game how'd it come to this.. who dropped the ball.. tell me who's to blame oh, when a good man can't find work feed his family and hope is gone something's gone wrong something's gone wrong I played the rythym acoustic and rythym mandolin and did vocals and harmonies. And here is the rest... RealTracks in style: ~~520:Bass, Electric, Pop HalfNotes Ev 165 RealTracks in style: ~~407:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Ev 165 RealTracks in song: 633:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopAmericanMuted Ev 120 (A:sync) RealTracks in song: 1684:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopPromiseCrispHeld Ev16 100 RealTracks in song: 1000:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm HardRockLAFuzzyHeld Ev 120 RealTracks in song: 1540:Guitar, Electric, Soloist PopBelieve Ev16 065 RealTracks in song: 1838:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopModernGrooveSync4s Ev16 075 RealTracks in song: 2035:Mandolin, Soloist CountryAndy Ev 120 .... (the outro) RealDrums in style: NashvilleEven8^6-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, HiHat Open Have fun. floyd
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#216453 - 09/29/13 01:07 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 3078
Loc: wales
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Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 3078
Loc: wales
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I totally agree with the sentiments and the song is brilliant. I am chomping at the bit, so just whisper Health too.
I like the written way you introduce the song in the post, it is almost like a "live" intro.
The mandolin at the end was a MASTER TOUCH that evoked a feeling of despair, in my mind, sort of like *shrugs shoulders, my life has to go on, somehow*
And so the song is excellent.
Production etc up to you high standards
and back to the live analogy ---
*rapturous applause*
Alyn
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#216455 - 09/29/13 01:49 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17205
Loc: Australia
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17205
Loc: Australia
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Hi Floyd, Just a sec, I'll put on my 'critical thinking' hat. Nope, that doesn't help. I can't find anything to be critical of. This song is eccellentissimo, loistava (I put that one in for Dani48), très bien! I'm totally behind you on this theme. While most governments seem to realise that employment is important, so few of these governments seem to acknowledge that education is such an important requirement for long-term economic prosperity. The thing is that it takes about 20 years for education mis-management to be seen. By that point in time, most people forget what the cause was. A standout for me in your writing was the head of the chorus. I LOVED the lyrical acceleration you achieved with the ABCABC quick succession of rhymes. This was VERY VERY effective and was a great way of flicking on the spotlight to say "Listen up! Here's the chorus." While I'm not a fan of fade-out endings, I have to say that it was absolutely the perfect choice for this song. For me, it was 'thinking time' and allowed my brain the chance to process what you had said and to think about it relative to my own experience in Australia. (Yet again, you've shown me a few tips and tricks in your writing that I've taken on board. Thank you  ) Overall: great harmony, very catchy melody, super arrangement, top-notch singing and capped off with a gold-star for superb mixing. Really excellent work! Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS
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#216475 - 09/29/13 08:06 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4564
Loc: New York
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Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4564
Loc: New York
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Floyd,
Great song - love the vocal and production as well. Nice work.
Bob
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#216480 - 09/29/13 08:58 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5708
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
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Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5708
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
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Hi Floyd
Incredible song. The lyrics were heartfelt and music was excellent. Your words hit the nail right on the head. Things are definitely mixed up. Watched a documentary about kids coming out of University with massive student loans and no jobs. Billions being spent and very few seeing the reward.
Scott
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#216501 - 09/29/13 10:38 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9195
Loc: Florida
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9195
Loc: Florida
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Alyn,
I actually included Health in my initial rant, but removed it - and some other stuff before finishing so that it wasn't quite so long...
I think an bit of an introduction is a good way to get going, so I'm glad you like that. It is how I would introduce songs when I used to actually play out. Never liked introductions that started with...
"Umm...this is a song about... ummm..."
Thanks for your comments...
floyd
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#216503 - 09/29/13 10:51 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2873
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Veteran
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2873
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
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Hi Floyd,
your lyrics apply to many countries.
Let me quote Noel: great harmony, very catchy melody, super arrangement, top-notch singing and superb mixing.
Guenter
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#216522 - 09/29/13 01:03 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2426
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
Veteran
Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2426
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
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Excellent work Floyd, an important and heartfelt song extremely well delivered. Well done my friend.
I had a twinge watching the BBC new lunchtime. There was a man in India, shopkeeper by trade but by no means wealthy, who decided something needed to be done to try and give local street urchins a chance in life and he'd set up, with his own time and money, an open air 'school' right under the noisy city concrete overpass, open to the elements. He'd painted a black square on a wall to serve as a blackboard. The kids sit on mats on the ground while he delivers basic lessons. The occasional volunteer donates exercise books but they didn't look like they had much of those. It's a topsy turvy world.
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#216525 - 09/29/13 01:07 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3477
Loc: Florida
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Registered: 05/22/11
Posts: 3477
Loc: Florida
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Floyd, nicely written, well recorded and nice vocals. This is a subject I have approached in songs before. It's important to write things like this once in awhile so we can all help each other make sense of this crazy world. Thanks for posting, Tom
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#216529 - 09/29/13 01:26 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4653
Veteran
Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4653
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Floyd,
I absolutely LOVE this. Great vocal and lyrics that are sad but true and very well written.
All that said, my favorite thing about this song is the tune(melody)and the hauntingly beautiful arrangement. So many of these types of songs I hear don't have that. This one left me wanting to hear more.
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#216531 - 09/29/13 02:13 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3147
Loc: York, England
Veteran
Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3147
Loc: York, England
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Hi Floyd.
I've been missing for a couple of weeks, but I'm really glad I didn't miss this one.
The protest song has always had an important role to play in our musical heritage and this one hits right to the heart of a subject which is on a lot of people's minds.
The standard of the writing, performance and production is excellent, as usual.
ROG.
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#216536 - 09/29/13 02:36 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 12/10/03
Posts: 8844
Loc: Oklahoma, USA
Veteran
Registered: 12/10/03
Posts: 8844
Loc: Oklahoma, USA
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Floyd, my comments on your works are not very helpful. I absolutely love everything you do to a song so I'm not very much help, sorry.
The theme is very topical and could as well be taken from any headline in the world.
I, too, liked the mando outro. A pleasant surprise.
Well done, my friend.
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#216546 - 09/29/13 05:18 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 03/18/04
Posts: 6666
Loc: USA
Veteran
Registered: 03/18/04
Posts: 6666
Loc: USA
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Floyd,
Although the title states something has gone wrong, I can state for sure that IMHO anyway, "nothing" has gone wrong with this project".
Well done!
later,
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#216558 - 09/29/13 07:02 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 1718
Loc: New Zealand
Expert
Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 1718
Loc: New Zealand
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Good one Floyd! Enjoyed the rhyming scheme and the emotion in the song as it built towards the end. Like the way you use a lot of tracks without the backing sounding crowded. Cheers.
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#216598 - 09/30/13 07:51 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7619
Veteran
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7619
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I'm not 100% sure of the rules here on political speech (it's off limits on other forums I go to) but putting it into a song is totally legit. So I will tread lightly....
They are simply two sides to the same coin....
I like the song and totally agree. My wife is a teacher and we buy her classroom supplies from our own pockets. If we didn't she would have to do without.
Check out my web site: I have 2 political songs there that name names and spell it out... Hope & Change and Leave This Country Alone
I enjoyed your take on this situation.
Edited by Guitarhacker (09/30/13 07:51 AM)
_________________________
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.com Add nothing that adds nothing to the music. As the sword chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer.
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#216606 - 09/30/13 09:44 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 4079
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
Veteran
Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 4079
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
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Hi, Floyd !
I think that what you are singing about
is a global thing, and I also share your
sentiment whith these absolutely brilliant
lyrics to this touching tune ! I am sure there
a couple of billion people agreeing with you
on this pressing issue!
I do not find the right words to
prize this magnificient song and performance !
I think I have to use the word loistava = shiningly brilliant, as brought up by Noel !:))
Thank you Floyd !
Cheers
Dani
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#216611 - 09/30/13 10:22 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9195
Loc: Florida
Veteran
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9195
Loc: Florida
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Noel,
Always enjoy your assessment of a song!
>>> the ABCABC quick succession of rhymes
I thought you would like (and mention) that. One of those spots that looks fairly simple once it's in place, but can take a bit of thought to get there in the first place. The trick is to "make it look easy". It should never stand out as "oh..he worked on that one!"..
>>> While I'm not a fan of fade-out endings..
That has been said by others. I happen to really LIKE fade out endings. For a couple of different reasons. Many of the endings that I hear here are so "standard" as to be uninteresting - they don't reflect what has gone before (meaning the song) - they are just a standard "wrap up of this final chord". They don't have the flavor that one would actually find studio musicians doing to complete a particular song. That is in no way a "knock" on BIAB. It does all that it can possibly do given the situation. And... second, the RT soloists can do some really cool stuff if you give them time. I'm not fan of long solos in the middle of a song. At the end, the listener can choose to "go with it or not". I enjoy that final ride...
In this case, the main lead instrument had been the electric, so I let him start to take it out. But this is a "working man's song" so the mandolin seemed like the guy to "have the last word".
Thanks for you kind words. Greatly appreciated. floyd
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#216612 - 09/30/13 10:24 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: rsdean]
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9195
Loc: Florida
Veteran
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9195
Loc: Florida
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Floyd,
Great song - love the vocal and production as well. Nice work.
Bob Appreciate that, Bob
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#216615 - 09/30/13 10:49 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: Scott C]
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9195
Loc: Florida
Veteran
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9195
Loc: Florida
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Hi Floyd
Incredible song. The lyrics were heartfelt and music was excellent. Your words hit the nail right on the head. Things are definitely mixed up. Watched a documentary about kids coming out of University with massive student loans and no jobs. Billions being spent and very few seeing the reward.
Scott
Thanks Scott. It is mind-boggling how so much gets spent for the wrong things...
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#216616 - 09/30/13 10:53 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Something's Gone Wrong
[Re: boehm]
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9195
Loc: Florida
Veteran
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9195
Loc: Florida
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Hi Floyd,
your lyrics apply to many countries.
Let me quote Noel: great harmony, very catchy melody, super arrangement, top-notch singing and superb mixing.
Guenter
Guenter - that is an interesting thing that has come from this... finding that these "problems" seem to be worldwide. And, is a reminder of the fact that we, on this forum, are "a community" made up of people from all walks of life and many different country. That in itself is a very cool thing... And... thanks for the listen - floyd
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