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#260074 - 08/20/14 04:15 PM [User Showcase] Where is Love?
Registered: 08/20/14
Posts: 16
Loc: Napanee, Ontario, CA
Joe Ramsay Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 08/20/14
Posts: 16
Loc: Napanee, Ontario, CA
I am working on a project that involves writing music for Christian church worship services that reflects a liberal, progressive theology. Working in partnership with author Brian McLaren, I am creating musically the ideas that Brian writes about in his books. (http://www.brianmclaren.net). This song relies completely on BIAB tracks. This is a draft version of the song - please give me some critical feedback which I can use as I work toward a final mix (if progressive Christian music isn't your thing, please give me feedback on the music and mix anyway - I don't wish to debate the theology, just get feedback on the music composition, and the mix). Thanks everyone!


https://soundcloud.com/joeramsay/where-is-love

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#260082 - 08/20/14 04:54 PM [User Showcase] Re: Where is Love? [Re: Joe Ramsay]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6571
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6571
Loc: Davis, CA
My favorite so far! There are some chord changes in the second section (just over a minute in) which are a bit unusual. Overall, very nice song! Take care. Greg

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#260088 - 08/20/14 05:32 PM [User Showcase] Re: Where is Love? [Re: Greg Johnson]
Registered: 08/20/14
Posts: 16
Loc: Napanee, Ontario, CA
Joe Ramsay Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 08/20/14
Posts: 16
Loc: Napanee, Ontario, CA
Thanks for the feedback! Middle section is maj7 chords in ascending 4ths. (or descending 5ths - can never remember how that progression is described).

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#260109 - 08/21/14 12:33 AM [User Showcase] Re: Where is Love? [Re: Joe Ramsay]
Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4997
Loc: Gulf Coast
Sundance Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4997
Loc: Gulf Coast
Hi Joe,

This is a very pretty song. I like it.

You didn't list the RT's you are using which would help but the lead guitar you open with is too fast sounding for the song and has some warbling issues. I'd find another real track to use instead of that one. At around 2:03 or somewhere near there on the timeline there's an audible glitch - you'll have to solo each track to find what's doing it and edit that out. Could be the vocal track but I can't tell for sure. Other than that it sounds good to me.

You said this is a draft - are you planning on "mastering" it yourself or sending it out? Just curious.

All the best,

Josie




_________________________
Josie Beck - Youtube Channel
I'm moving most of my music off Soundcloud.
Click my Youtube link above to hear my songs.
Thank you.

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#260176 - 08/21/14 08:07 PM [User Showcase] Re: Where is Love? [Re: Joe Ramsay]
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2885
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
boehm Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2885
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Hi Joe,

enjoyable listen. I like those chords in the middle section. Josie is right: you should get rid of that bump at 2:02.

Guenter
_________________________
http://www.21d.de/
Latest Song: What You Desire

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#260218 - 08/22/14 08:14 AM [User Showcase] Re: Where is Love? [Re: Joe Ramsay]
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 8255
Guitarhacker Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 8255
Cool tune.... you asked for crits on this.

The mix sounds fairly decent. The vox really doesn't set as well as it should into the mix.

The verses are really similar to the chorus so it's hard to instantly know where one is in the song. I was trying to imagine myself singing this.....I couldn't imagine singing about "corporate profits" in a church song.

The part that starts sorrow greets us everyday is a really hard part to sing with the "pastel" chords and unusual progression in there. You hit it again with new words later....

Several clicks in the song need to be removed.

I think you have a good idea here, that needs to be worked out a bit more.
_________________________
You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com

Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.


As the sword chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer.

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#260226 - 08/22/14 09:12 AM [User Showcase] Re: Where is Love? [Re: Joe Ramsay]
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7146
Loc: South Carolina
Charlie Fogle Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7146
Loc: South Carolina
Another nice song Joe. It's fun following your project as it progresses and I think you are doing a great job so far.

Charlie
_________________________
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2022:RB 2022, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.

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#260301 - 08/23/14 12:10 AM [User Showcase] Re: Where is Love? [Re: Joe Ramsay]
Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
PgFantastic Offline
Veteran

Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
Another nice piece, great writing; thanks for sharing!
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Psalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.

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