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#260073 - 08/20/14 04:13 PM [User Showcase] I Give You My Heart
Registered: 08/20/14
Posts: 16
Loc: Napanee, Ontario, CA
Joe Ramsay Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 08/20/14
Posts: 16
Loc: Napanee, Ontario, CA
I am working on a project that involves writing music for Christian church worship services that reflects a liberal, progressive theology. Working in partnership with author Brian McLaren, I am creating musically the ideas that Brian writes about in his books. (http://www.brianmclaren.net). This is a song that reflects the theology in a particular chapter in one of his books.

Produced with BIAB Style is _DIRE_FS.STY adding a couple of acoustic guitar tracks. DAW used is GarageBand. This is a draft version of the song - please give me some critical feedback which I can use as I work toward a final mix (if progressive Christian music isn't your thing, please give me feedback on the music and mix anyway - I don't wish to debate the theology, just get feedback on the music composition, and the mix). Thanks everyone!

https://soundcloud.com/joeramsay/jesus-i-give-you-my-heart-band


Edited by Joe Ramsay (08/20/14 05:19 PM)
Edit Reason: adding BIAB info

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#260083 - 08/20/14 04:58 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Give You My Heart [Re: Joe Ramsay]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6459
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
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Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6459
Loc: Davis, CA
Another nice song! You are doing some nice stuff here. Some of the parts of the songs get a little pitchy with the vocals and there's occasional awkward phrasing but I hear some really good stuff! Continue sharing the material, and as Bud said, Welcome to the forum! Take care. Greg

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#260115 - 08/21/14 12:50 AM [User Showcase] Re: I Give You My Heart [Re: Joe Ramsay]
Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4807
Sundance Offline
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Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4807
Hi Joe,

This is another pretty song but I didn't listen to all of it because I was so distracted by the bass being panned right. For a song this style the rhythm section drums and bass should be panned center.

Also, I'm only trying to be helpful here by offering you a friendly suggestion - you'll get more response if you post one song at a time - get some feedback on it - share some feedback on some other people's songs you have the time to listen to - and then post another one of yours. There are a lot of songs posted here every week and none of us have unlimited listening time. We all have busy lives and music projects we're working on too. smile

Josie

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#260118 - 08/21/14 01:11 AM [User Showcase] Re: I Give You My Heart [Re: Joe Ramsay]
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 6758
Loc: South Carolina
Charlie Fogle Online   content
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Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 6758
Loc: South Carolina
Hi Joe. This is a good song and I like your drum selection for this song better than what you used on Where Is Love. I agree with Josie regarding the panning and with Greg about the vocal pitch issue. This particular song sounds better to me as an acoustic arrangement suggesting a piano rather than the distorted guitar.


Charlie
_________________________
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2021:RB 2021, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.

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#260175 - 08/21/14 07:59 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Give You My Heart [Re: Joe Ramsay]
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2873
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
boehm Offline
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Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2873
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Hi Joe,

welcome to the forum.
I agree with everything Josie said.
I listened to the acoustic version.
Very nice.
_________________________
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Latest Song: What You Desire

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#260221 - 08/22/14 08:21 AM [User Showcase] Re: I Give You My Heart [Re: Joe Ramsay]
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7852
Guitarhacker Offline
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Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7852
I like this song much better than the other one you posted.

I would not call either "progressive" .... nope, more like country christian with a slight rock bent.

David Crowder and artists like that are on the cutting edge.

ON the mix. Keep the bass, drums, and lead vocal straight up the center as well as things that are soloing. pan harmony vox and other things but keep them balanced. you don't want one side of the mix heavier than the other.
_________________________
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Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.


As the sword chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer.

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#260236 - 08/22/14 12:06 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Give You My Heart [Re: Guitarhacker]
Registered: 08/20/14
Posts: 16
Loc: Napanee, Ontario, CA
Joe Ramsay Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 08/20/14
Posts: 16
Loc: Napanee, Ontario, CA
Thanks - really appreciated the feedback on this, since I am absolutely new to BIAB and mixing.

The reference to "progressive" actually refers to the theology in the lyrics, not the music. A bit confusing here I admit. But the lyrics to the songs I write a) are inclusive in language b) do not subscribe to a "substitutional atonement" theology (ie. Jesus died for my sins) c) focus on living faithfully in this world, not simply escaping to the next. Those lyrical parameters are essentially what makes them "progressive." I agree, the music is certainly not progressive.

Appreciate the comments a bunch! Thanks.

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#260244 - 08/22/14 02:20 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Give You My Heart [Re: Joe Ramsay]
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3203
Loc: The Netherlands
RnAM Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3203
Loc: The Netherlands
Hi Joe,

This is a really nice song.
We do agree with the things said above about the panning and.... we
like harmonies and think the choruses would sound just a bit more interesting with some extra vocals.
Welcome to the forum

Regards,
R & AM
_________________________
We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.


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#260300 - 08/23/14 12:06 AM [User Showcase] Re: I Give You My Heart [Re: Joe Ramsay]
Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
PgFantastic Offline
Veteran

Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
Nicely done, love the drum sound you acheived on this cymbals sound crisp but not sharp, great work; thanks for sharing!
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My Tunes

Psalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.

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#260366 - 08/23/14 02:30 PM [User Showcase] Re: I Give You My Heart [Re: Joe Ramsay]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9690
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9690
Loc: Florida
Joe - you've gotten some good advice on mixing this one. The acoustic guitar work here is nice. As others have said, some harmonies on the chorus would be a good addition. - floyd

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