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#260727 - 08/28/14 02:42 PM
[User Showcase]
Outside Your Window.
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Registered: 03/27/14
Posts: 4
Newbie
Registered: 03/27/14
Posts: 4
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Hi Everyone. My third song on the forum. As usual, I'm playing the guitar parts and ROG is playing bass and keyboards. The drums are RealDrums. Vocals this time are by Andy on the main vocal and my sister Sîan tracked up all the backing vocals. OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOWOutside your window You know the sun may be shining But in your room it's cold ice Outside your window There stands a church on the hillside A place you've never been inside No use staring at the wall It's time to pay the price The choir sings heaven help you all Don't count on paradise Outside your window You know the world keeps on turning But in your room the clock stands still. Thanks for listening and all comments welcome. Beth.
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#260730 - 08/28/14 03:40 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10773
Loc: Florida
Veteran
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10773
Loc: Florida
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Another winner, Beth.
Y'all sound like you've been doing this a long time.
Good mix. I assume the horns are ROG on keyboard? They sound good.
Drums sound great. Guitars sound good. I thought the lead could be just a hair louder.
Good vocals and harmonies (particularly when they get real full on "heaven...").
The organ at the end was quite tasty.
An interesting write. Enjoyable.
floyd
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#260735 - 08/28/14 05:26 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 12723
Loc: GA USA
Veteran
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 12723
Loc: GA USA
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Very nice. I'm really fond of this type of lyric where so much is left to the imagination of the listener. Neat guitar. Enjoyed it.
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#260746 - 08/28/14 07:40 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 8638
Veteran
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 8638
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Nice work. The clean guitar tone is really sweet.
_________________________
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but you can't do both.
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#260752 - 08/28/14 09:53 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6737
Loc: Davis, CA
Veteran
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6737
Loc: Davis, CA
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Really cool tune!! Everything works well. A few things I'd consider: 1) Some tuning on the lead vocal. He has a great tone and timing, and with his style (Neil Youngish) you can get away with a little pitchiness but sometimes it's a bit much, and 2) The harmonies on the chorus are lovely. I would consider doing the harmony (3rd?) on all four lines vs. unison (or octaves) on the first 2 and harmony on the others. Great job!! This is a really good tune! Take care. Greg
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#260757 - 08/29/14 03:04 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
Veteran
Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 2646
Loc: Kentucky
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Another fine track, great vocal and well written lyrics Beth; thanks for sharing!
_________________________
My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
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#260761 - 08/29/14 03:25 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 3079
Loc: wales
Veteran
Registered: 08/25/03
Posts: 3079
Loc: wales
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Beth, Outside your window
You know the world keeps on turning
But in your room the clock stands still. What a lovely lyric. ROG says I sound like me (gibson) and I say that all his productions have that ROG vibe, which is excellent. Good write, nice harmonies and a +1 to all the other replies!! Alyn
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#260764 - 08/29/14 07:48 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 8638
Veteran
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 8638
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Listening again in more detail.
I agree 100% with Greg above. The lead vox needs tuning and so do the BGV's. While we're talking about tuning. The guitar is every so slightly off in the solo.... very slight. It sounds like one or two strings needed to be tuned. When I record I tune electronically before and during my sessions. A string can slip slightly with a bend and that can affect the tuning higher on the neck. I have also been known to run my pitch correction on instruments too when the take was good but something was a slight bit off.
Bring the guitar fills up several db's and the guitar itself could probably stand a few db bump overall.
I'm not a fan of the horns. They sound too synthy. My recommendation would be to replace them. Either use much better samples of horns or use a totally different instrument. Piano would sound good in there with the instrumentation you already have in this mix. B3 Hammond organ would also work well in this song. Both of which are available in Real Band.
Just my further thoughts on the song..... and yeah, I really like the tone of the guitar you are getting...clean but not too bright. I assume it's that blonde tele in your avatar pic?
_________________________
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but you can't do both.
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#260768 - 08/29/14 08:11 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7625
Loc: South Carolina
Veteran
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7625
Loc: South Carolina
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Nice song. Enjoyed it and I really admire your guitar skills.
Charlie
_________________________
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2023:RB 2023, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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#260858 - 08/30/14 12:39 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Janice & Bud]
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Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2886
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Veteran
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2886
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
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Hi Beth, Very nice. I'm really fond of this type of lyric where so much is left to the imagination of the listener. Neat guitar. Enjoyed it. +1 from me. Guenter
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#261001 - 08/31/14 03:15 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 4332
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
Veteran
Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 4332
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
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Hi, Beth & team !:))
Wow ! a very nice tune
so delicately performed !
I really loved it and the
vocals most of all !:))
Cheers
Dani
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#261016 - 08/31/14 05:26 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 8064
Loc: Winston-Salem, NC
Veteran
Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 8064
Loc: Winston-Salem, NC
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Beth, this may be the first of your songs I've heard. My gut feeling is that you did a good job of latching onto familiar themes then embellishing them with personal touches to make it your own. The familiar: the 3 chord pattern in the body of the song reminded me of many hypnotic Fleetwood Mac tunes everybody loves, or the 60's San Francisco sound which was equally trancelike. The layered background vocals remind me of Pink Floyd's "another brick in the wall" sound Establishing subtle links to songs that have stood the test of time and won the hearts of multiple generations of music lovers is a highly desirable accomplishment. Your Own: Rog's use of horns adds something new that differentiates your song from my memories of other songs. I automatically like everything Rog does, his musical sensibilities seem to mirror my own... although I suspect we would not articulate our choices in exactly the same way. Your lyrics are what really set this song apart from anything else and make it yours alone. You paint an unmistakable portrait with your words, and I would hate to be the person you are singing about! Regarding the guitar, I really liked the understated feel it provided, As such, I was glad it did not ramp up in volume. It serves a supporting role, and to my ears it was perfect in its application. The melody reminded me of Mitch Easter (band:"Let's Active"), and I like that style. I find myself wishing that you had sung your own song, But Andy did a great job of it, and maybe it is his voice that reminded me of Mitch Easter... but the melody did too. All in all a very positive first impression for me! Thanks for posting! (Rog: I found myself wishing for more reverb on the horns. I know you don't get requests for MORE reverb very often, so I couldn't pass up the opportunity to express my thoughts on the topic) 
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#261089 - 09/01/14 01:54 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 01/24/03
Posts: 4992
Loc: California
Veteran
Registered: 01/24/03
Posts: 4992
Loc: California
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Nice song. I enjoyed the almost 70's vibe going on in it. Well done.
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#261091 - 09/01/14 02:09 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 04/09/07
Posts: 276
Apprentice
Registered: 04/09/07
Posts: 276
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That's a very nice write Beth. You're getting a lot of constructive criticism which I think is great, especially since it's only in regards to tweaking your production. You're well on your way to something in your writing and production skills.-Patrick
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#261321 - 09/03/14 09:12 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 18679
Loc: Hamlin NY
Veteran
Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 18679
Loc: Hamlin NY
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This is very good!
I agree with Pat as it also reminded me of the 60's San Francisco sound.
Your guitar work was very tasty! Excellent job on those leads.
I would do some slight pitch corrections on the vocals. Don't make them all absolutely perfect as that sounds fake but nudge them a little closer to the aim pitch. Just my thoughts and YMMV.
_________________________
She told him she wanted to walk down the aisle.
He sent her grocery shopping!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software and some hardware
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#261338 - 09/03/14 10:44 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 09/18/08
Posts: 93
Loc: Illinois
Enthusiast
Registered: 09/18/08
Posts: 93
Loc: Illinois
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Hi Beth! Digging the feel. Agree with the comments on a smidge of autotune. Even the best use it. I've found it very helpful in increasing the quality of vocals and it makes harmonies much better  Having said that, the harmonies are cool. Great job!! Keep on keepin on!
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#261398 - 09/04/14 06:58 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3301
Loc: York, England
Veteran
Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3301
Loc: York, England
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Another great song from Beth.
One thing which I really like about working with Beth is the variety of styles which she's prepared to try out. Working with different genres is a really good way to improve your technique, together with your understanding of music structure and songwriting. It's also good to see the team here supporting each other with session work.
I know my students value highly the advice and encouragement which the forum provides, even if the odd person appears a little harsh at times. How many of us at their age were producing songs of this standard?
Let's see what's next in line.
ROG.
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#261404 - 09/04/14 07:40 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 2506
Veteran
Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 2506
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hi beth cool tune enjoyed very much nice guitar work keep them coming eric
_________________________
AMD (TM) 8150 3.60 GHz Eight Core Processor 64 bit windows 10 pro 64 bit os. sound card delta 1010 pci card 500 ssd drive 3 other drives guitars 1968 les Paul Custom and Cavin ae 185 Guitar boss Gt-100 pedal Carvin SRS Studio reference series
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#261416 - 09/04/14 10:38 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: ROG]
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Registered: 04/09/07
Posts: 276
Apprentice
Registered: 04/09/07
Posts: 276
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ROG, i believe everyone really dug the tune but the forum does tend to critique production in great detail. It is sometimes a bit direct, but I have learned a lot reading them ( directed at me and others). I can't wait to hear what she comes up with next!
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#261419 - 09/05/14 02:41 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Outside Your Window.
[Re: Beth]
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Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 6370
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Veteran
Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 6370
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
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Hi Beth ...
I've been away from the boards for several weeks ... close family member with cancer and health issues of my own. Also, have a deadline for two novels I'm writing.
Loved the song! I know most folks here said it reminded them of the 60's SF sound. I hear a lot of that in it, too. But overall, it had more of a 70's feel to me... mostly because the horns sounded similar in style to so much of what I heard in the 70's. Just my opinion, though.
For me, the strong pint is the lyric. You've given us a framework but left the finishes touches for our imaginations. Doing so allows each listener to personalize the song, to some degree, to fit a mood or situation he/she is experiencing. That only broadens the appeal to a greater variety of listeners.
Coo song and performance!
Alan
_________________________
BIAB 2022 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win10*8GB DDR4*I5-6th Gen*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120 Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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