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#264914 - 10/07/14 10:33 PM [User Showcase] Seven Sermons To The Dead
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2522
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2522
Loc: Sacramento, California
Seven Sermons To The Dead
It's so far that we have come, pilgrims from Jerusalem
Still not finding what we seek

We have reached our final end and still not comprehend
What meaning can give our souls release?

What lies between the light and darkness?
Divides the living from the dead?
Found in the pages of your dreaming,
Bound in covers black and red?

Here in the shadows, held back by our own chains
Fettered by illusions that we could never change

If your understanding holds the key - open up the door.
We've been waiting all our lives to be set free,
So open up the door.

We have gathered back again,
No longer gods, no longer men,
Hoping only to find some final peace.


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The song is very loosely based on a (mis)reading of Carl Jung's Seven Sermons to the Dead.

I'd set a challenge to write a group thematically linked songs, and this is obviously one from that set. This particular song turned out to be a pretty tough nut for me to crack, and I'm sure it doesn't accurately reflect Jung's writings.

I call it "poetic license." wink

The upbeat music goes against the grain of the text, but after struggling with all sorts of minor-key progressions, I decided that perhaps musical contrast was what it really needed. It's probably one of my most straight-forward arrangements.

I'd intended to post this with real vocals on it, but didn't get around to it... yet!

As usual, any sort of feedback is welcome!
_________________________
-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#264920 - 10/07/14 10:56 PM [User Showcase] Re: Seven Sermons To The Dead [Re: dcuny]
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 4703
Loc: South Carolina
Charlie Fogle Offline
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Registered: 04/07/13
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Tough nut to crack, juxtapose the music, didn't get around to the vocals, poetic license. This sounds a lot like life...

It all came together for me but I would probably prefer real vocals, but life hasn't gotten you there yet - No problem, life goes on... Maybe one day...

Enjoyed the song and production and well written lyrics.


Charlie
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#264921 - 10/07/14 10:59 PM [User Showcase] Re: Seven Sermons To The Dead [Re: Charlie Fogle]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2522
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2522
Loc: Sacramento, California
Originally Posted By: c_fogle
It all came together for me but I would probably prefer real vocals...

After my last song, I figured I should play it safe and see what people thought of the arrangement before trying my hand at singing it. (There's a mixed metaphor!)

Thanks!
_________________________
-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#264923 - 10/07/14 11:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: Seven Sermons To The Dead [Re: dcuny]
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 4703
Loc: South Carolina
Charlie Fogle Offline
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Originally Posted By: dcuny
Originally Posted By: c_fogle
It all came together for me but I would probably prefer real vocals...

After my last song, I figured I should play it safe and see what people thought of the arrangement before trying my hand at singing it. (There's a mixed metaphor!)

Thanks!


Good metaphor but you have nothing to fear from your singing voice.
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#264925 - 10/07/14 11:18 PM [User Showcase] Re: Seven Sermons To The Dead [Re: Charlie Fogle]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2522
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2522
Loc: Sacramento, California
Originally Posted By: c_fogle
Good metaphor but you have nothing to fear from your singing voice.

Thanks! I was thinking more about how I'd tweaked the arrangement to a much more sparse version, and just about everyone (myself included) thought the more full version was better. So I figured I'd get some feedback before getting the clever idea of fixing something that wasn't broken. laugh

I actually just checked with my older son to see if he wanted to take a crack on the vocals on this, but there's been something going around and he seems to have gotten it. I'm probably going to have a go at it once I've finished working out the melody for one other song I've been working on.

Gotta head to the record store now. My oldest daughter discovered my pile of cassettes the other day, and just came out of her room with an unhappy expression on her face. "Dad, I'm sure I put it in right, but this happened..." she said, handing my the portable cassette recorder.

Enya's "Watermark" (her new favorite album) had come unspooled and broken... frown

There are some technologies I just don't miss...
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-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#264933 - 10/08/14 12:14 AM [User Showcase] Re: Seven Sermons To The Dead [Re: dcuny]
Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 3538
Loc: Alabama, USA
Al-David Offline
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Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 3538
Loc: Alabama, USA
Hi David ...

This is a real nice song. Of course live vocals would make it soar much higher. But, that's for a time when it works for you. You've given us a great preview of what you have in mind. Nicely done! Best to you ...

Alan & Di

PS: You vocals sounded just fine to us on your last post!
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#264962 - 10/08/14 09:47 AM [User Showcase] Re: Seven Sermons To The Dead [Re: dcuny]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6460
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 6460
Loc: Florida
David,

I like it! Cool lyric - a couple of places that are a bit "too poetic" for my usual tastes (just a couple of places), but for this, I think they work. And an excellent melody. It falls on the ear nicely!

I did not mind the "non-real" voices - they are impressive, considering. This is worth a good, real vocal, though.

I like your arrangement. The drums are just a wee bit low, I think. Not that they should dominate (for this), but they have a "timid" feel - that ought to be eliminated.

I also thought an extra guitar would help fill it out just a bit in the middle. A clean arp electric RT. Subtle. Maybe the Dreamy guitar - it gets overused, but might be just the thing for this...

Again... I like it.

floyd
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#264966 - 10/08/14 10:20 AM [User Showcase] Re: Seven Sermons To The Dead [Re: dcuny]
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2868
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
boehm Offline
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Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2868
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Hi David,

after reading your lyrics I would have expected something totally different. But you know that yourself: "The upbeat music goes against the grain of the text."
I like the melody and I don't mind the vocaloids. But, as Alan said, your vocals sounded just fine to us on your last post.

Guenter
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#265038 - 10/09/14 12:42 AM [User Showcase] Re: Seven Sermons To The Dead [Re: dcuny]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 4406
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
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Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 4406
Loc: Davis, CA
Very nice work!! I think the melody is really pretty, but the autotune effect makes it harder to appreciate. If you're not a singer, I would get some people to put together a more organic version as it is very pretty. Great job!! Take care. Greg

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#265066 - 10/09/14 01:52 PM [User Showcase] Re: Seven Sermons To The Dead [Re: Greg Johnson]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2522
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2522
Loc: Sacramento, California
Originally Posted By: Greg Johnson
If you're not a singer, I would get some people to put together a more organic version as it is very pretty.

Thanks!

As you've mentioned, the Vocaloid has a heavily processed and autotuned sound, and it's not always intelligible. For the purposes of a demo (which is what the song currently is) it'll do, but it doesn't really show off the song to it's best advantage.

I'll probably have a go at the vocals once I get some spare time.
_________________________
-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#265175 - 10/10/14 03:31 PM [User Showcase] Re: Seven Sermons To The Dead [Re: dcuny]
Registered: 11/11/12
Posts: 3064
Loc: Iceland
Icelander Offline
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Registered: 11/11/12
Posts: 3064
Loc: Iceland
Straight from the first line, the harmony alone takes me right back to those late 60's early 70's acoustic trios, that unmistakeable "hippie" vibe even stronger in this one than the earlier one!
Now, where did I put my bong? Peace, man! cool
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#265184 - 10/10/14 04:31 PM [User Showcase] Re: Seven Sermons To The Dead [Re: dcuny]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 6439
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
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Registered: 12/05/11
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Loc: GA USA
Now that's interesting. As I've mentioned
on many of Guenter's posts I'm fascinated
by the sound and the technology behind
these vocals.

It really could stand on it's on as is but I look
forward to the humanoid version. Great
melody. Nice.

J&B
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