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#282608 - 01/30/15 06:53 AM [User Showcase] This Town Ain't Big Enough
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9659
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9659
Loc: Florida
Sometimes a heartache is too big to hide from...


THIS TOWN AIN'T BIG ENOUGH

i hear montana is pretty this time of year
i ain't been to vegas for a while, so i might head there
the south of france or katmandu
if there's no chance i'll run into you

   this town ain't big enough, baby
   big enough for you and me
   all this small talk's driving me crazy
   i can't hide from what we used to be
   around every corner, in ev'ry face i meet
   in ev'ry cobblestone of every street
   this town's overcrowded with memories
   so, this town ain't big enough for you and me

it ain't easy watching you run around town
i know it's over, my heart needs to break some new ground
just when i think i'm strong
you walk by and you prove me wrong

   this town ain't big enough, baby
   big enough for you and me
   all this small talk's driving me crazy
   i can't hide from what we used to be
   around every corner, in ev'ry face i meet
   in ev'ry cobblestone of every street
   this town's overcrowded with memories
   so, this town ain't big enough for you and me

if we could cut it down the middle, divide it with a fence
maybe my heart would stand half a chance...

   this town ain't big enough, baby
   big enough for you and me
   all this small talk's driving me crazy
   i can't hide from what we used to be
   around every corner, in ev'ry face i meet
   in ev'ry cobblestone of every street
   this town's overcrowded with memories
   so, this town ain't big enough for you and me


Here is the Band...

Style is _MANPMGA.STY (PopCountry Ballad Mandolin[75RS])

RealTracks in style: 1827:Bass, Electric, PopModernGrooveA-B Ev16 075
RealTracks in style: 1839:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopModernGrooveA-B Ev16 075
RealTracks in style: 1596:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Pop16ths Ev16 065
RealTracks in style: 1947:Mandolin, Rhythm PopModernGrooveAndy Ev16 075
RealTracks in song: 1705:Guitar, Electric, Soloist CountryBrent Ev 085
RealTracks in song: 1829:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopModernGrooveBrightArp Ev16 075
RealTracks in song: 1762:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Pop16thsArp Ev16 085
RealTracks in song: 861:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm HardRockWaltzSustainHeld Ev 140
RealDrums in style: PopModernGrooveSync16 (fills only)


Hope you enjoy it. But, either way, comments encouraged..
Thanks for listening.
Band-In-A-Box.... the true modern miracle...

floyd

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#282610 - 01/30/15 07:09 AM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7841
Guitarhacker Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7841
Another good-un...

Good imagery in the lyrics... Well done on the musical front as well.

No major nits that I could hear on a first listen.... a few...I would have produced this or that differently but nothing that detracts from the production you did...


Real pretty the way you started it.


Excellent song.
_________________________
You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com

Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.


As the sword chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer.

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#282625 - 01/30/15 11:30 AM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6452
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
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Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6452
Loc: Davis, CA
if we could cut it down the middle, divide it with a fence
maybe my heart would stand half a chance...


As much as I loved the song through and through (AND I DID), this is one of the best bridges I've ever heard....short, concise, great alternative angle on the theme...Brilliant!
The rest of the song is excellent as well. We've all experienced that painful reality of having to be around someone who still turns your world upside down in a town, a team, a class, a workplace, whatever. This song perfectly taps into that painful emotion. Beautifully crafted lyric and flawless use of "the band" to bring the song to life. Another home run Floyd!! Take care. Greg

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#282627 - 01/30/15 11:32 AM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 563
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Achordocaster Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 563
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Floyd,

Another excellent job! Your a machine man.

A good song, good vocals, good production. The drums are happenin'! (great snare sound)... and I'm good with that, but maybe a little more reverb on them wouldn't hurt. I'd say just on the snare, but I know that's not an option. Just my $.02 grin

Greg

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#282631 - 01/30/15 12:57 PM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 6693
Loc: South Carolina
Charlie Fogle Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 6693
Loc: South Carolina
Excellent song, excellent writing, great selection of real tracks - the mandolin worked quite well in your mixture of instruments. Your production was crisp.

Another good song.

Musically, "i know it's over, my heart needs to break some new ground" the phrasing of 'neeeeeeeeeeeeew'seemed a bit awkward in relation to the rest of the lyrics. Having a nit over the phrasing of a single word is really saying, there aren't really any nits to fret over.

Good job and I enjoyed the listen.

Charlie


Edited by c_fogle (01/30/15 12:57 PM)
_________________________
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#282634 - 01/30/15 01:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3196
Loc: The Netherlands
RnAM Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/02/14
Posts: 3196
Loc: The Netherlands
Great song Floyd!!!
Music, vocals, everything.
Fascinating from the beginning to the end.

Rob and Anne-Marie
_________________________
We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.


[url=https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1gsdNLE7_Gy8qavoOplQow/videos]YouTube Channel


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#282635 - 01/30/15 01:09 PM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/08/09
Posts: 214
Loc: California
Carolyne Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 12/08/09
Posts: 214
Loc: California
Great tune. Absolutely love the lyric!
-Carolyne

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#282639 - 01/30/15 01:27 PM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 1718
Loc: New Zealand
RichMac Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 1718
Loc: New Zealand
Hey Floyd.
Usual top notch production.
Really liked the vocal phrasing, the bridge and key change.
The last couple of bars sound very harsh to me.
Is that deliberate?
Cheers.
_________________________
https://soundcloud.com/tuigorge



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#282667 - 01/30/15 04:24 PM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3279
Loc: York, England
ROG Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/12/11
Posts: 3279
Loc: York, England
Hi Floyd.

I really do like it when a bit of "Rock" gets mixed into your songs and there's absolutely nothing in this which I didn't like. Everything is up to your usual high standard of professionalism.

Maybe a solo would have been nice? It's such a good track to solo over, I found myself desperately wanting to put one in!

Still a great track though.

ROG.


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#282672 - 01/30/15 05:20 PM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: ROG]
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7841
Guitarhacker Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7841
Originally Posted By: ROG


Maybe a solo would have been nice? It's such a good track to solo over, I found myself desperately wanting to put one in!



Yup.... my thoughts exactly.... coulda laid one down for you bro.....
_________________________
You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com

Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.


As the sword chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer.

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#282675 - 01/30/15 05:29 PM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17487
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17487
Loc: Australia
Hi floyd,

This sounds as professional as anything I've heard that's come out of demo studios in Nashville. It's radio material through and through – brilliant writing, brilliant singing, brilliant production.

There's nothing quite like the discreet use of hyperbole to raise the bar of emotional intensity in lyrics.

  • According to here on Wikipedia, hyperbole is defined as "the use of exaggeration as a rhetorical device or figure of speech. It may be used to evoke strong feelings or to create a strong impression, but is not meant to be taken literally.”

An example that springs to mind (where exaggeration has been used to boost lyric intensity) is Fred Ebb's B-section for “New York, New York”.

Originally Posted By: ”Fred Ebb”
I want to wake up in a city
That doesn't sleep
And find I'm king of the hill
Top of the heap

Being "King of the hill" and "Top of the heap" strikes me as hyperbole. Fred then revisits this and gives it a vitamin shot by (a) repeating it and (b) exaggerating it even further saying …

Originally Posted By: ”Fred Ebb”
New York, New York
I want to wake up in a city
That never sleeps
And find I'm "A" number one
Top of the list
King of the hill
"A" number one

Liza Minnellli shows the nuclear power of hyperbole when she performs Ebb's words at this concert. She also uses the repetition and further exaggeration to set up a megaton performance explosion into what can only be described as a Mt Everest of finishes.

Personally, I find hyperbole a powerful songwriting tool and I always keep it in mind as a lyric development device. For this reason, I tend to use it later in a song's lyrics: often verse 2 or the bridge.

You've employed it way up front in the chorus! It's never occurred to me to do that. To my ears, your use of it was very effective. I thought that using the exaggeration of...

  • around every corner, on ev'ry face i meet
    on ev'ry cobblestone of every street

...was a very skilful way of showing us just how much this woman was inside the head of this guy and how this has trapped him in a web of misery that's pretty much impossible for him to escape from. It set-up the phrase "over-crowded memories" perfectly! The lyric sequence worked for me smile

Really, really terrific songwriting.

More please!
Noel

P.S. Great key change!

P.P.S. I've just seen that David Cuny also talks about "cobblestones" from a different perspective. It's good to have multiple views on things!
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS


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#282699 - 01/30/15 08:57 PM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 4433
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 4433
Loc: Sacramento, California
Hi, floyd!

First of all, great execution (as usual). Great singing, production, clever lyrics...

My only issue is the song is a bit too clever in spots. I can overlook "small talk", but "cobblestones" breaks the fourth wall completely.

That said, I particularly like:

if we could cut it down the middle, divide it with a fence
maybe my heart would stand half a chance...


smile
_________________________
-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#282742 - 01/31/15 06:26 AM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2873
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
boehm Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/22/12
Posts: 2873
Loc: Karlsruhe, Germany
Hi Floyd,

great song again!
Lyrics, music, vocals, everything the usual high standard.
Have I already mentioned that I'm a fan?

Guenter
_________________________
http://www.21d.de/
Latest Song: What You Desire

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#282744 - 01/31/15 06:36 AM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: Greg Johnson]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9659
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9659
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
Another good-un...

Good imagery in the lyrics... Well done on the musical front as well.

No major nits that I could hear on a first listen.... a few...I would have produced this or that differently but nothing that detracts from the production you did...

Real pretty the way you started it.

Excellent song.

Thanks for the listen, Herb.


Originally Posted By: Greg Johnson
if we could cut it down the middle, divide it with a fence
maybe my heart would stand half a chance...


As much as I loved the song through and through (AND I DID), this is one of the best bridges I've ever heard....short, concise, great alternative angle on the theme...Brilliant!
The rest of the song is excellent as well. We've all experienced that painful reality of having to be around someone who still turns your world upside down in a town, a team, a class, a workplace, whatever. This song perfectly taps into that painful emotion. Beautifully crafted lyric and flawless use of "the band" to bring the song to life. Another home run Floyd!! Take care. Greg

Greg - I know you are a real student of songwriting - so coming from you, that is especially nice to hear... (really looking forward to your next..)

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#282747 - 01/31/15 06:46 AM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9659
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9659
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: Achordocaster
Floyd,

Another excellent job! Your a machine man.

A good song, good vocals, good production. The drums are happenin'! (great snare sound)... and I'm good with that, but maybe a little more reverb on them wouldn't hurt. I'd say just on the snare, but I know that's not an option. Just my $.02 grin

Greg

Thanks, Greg... In fact, adding reverb to just the snare, in this case, actually IS an option. I built the drum tracks on this - the snare is a separate track (as is the kick). If you listen closely, you should notice there is no hi-hat in this - that is how I wanted this to sound... if you look back at the RealDrum listed in the Band, I used only the fills from it.

As I'm sure you are aware, snare sounds are all over the map in country and pop. And it depends on the song what you might want for that sound. I'm very partial to a leathery snare - though for this one, I did apply some reverb to it.. if I have another go at this, I will try some adjustment to it to check that out..

Thanks for the listen.

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#282791 - 01/31/15 01:50 PM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/20/10
Posts: 5049
Loc: Florida
90 dB Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/20/10
Posts: 5049
Loc: Florida
I like everything about this one. Once again, great use of BIAB.

"katmandu" - I loved that one!


Regards,

Bob

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#282793 - 01/31/15 02:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 16307
Loc: Hamlin NY
MarioD Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 16307
Loc: Hamlin NY
I am also in the "I like everything about this song" crowd.

Not only are you an outstanding lyricist you are also an outstanding producer, singer, guitarist, mix engineer etc!.

This was perfect!
_________________________
It's my wife's birthday tomorrow, she's been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house, so I bought her a magazine rack.

64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB and RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software and some hardware.

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#282857 - 01/31/15 10:45 PM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 01/28/12
Posts: 3408
Loc: Murgon Queensland Australia
Rob4580 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 01/28/12
Posts: 3408
Loc: Murgon Queensland Australia
A quintessential country song,
Perfect vocals love the chorus.

I can see this easily making airplay.
You also have a touch of Nickle back going on as well.

Id love to be able to write like this,
Spot On.
Rob

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#282883 - 02/01/15 02:24 AM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 13832
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
VideoTrack Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 13832
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Floyd

Another Masterpiece!

Sensational Lyrics
Sensational Melody
Sensational Build
Sensational Vocals
Sensational Mix

You've been working overtime on this, you must have.
Yes, you should put it up for air-play
This is another one of those 'really stand-out' songs on the User Showcase.

Great job Floyd.

Trevor
_________________________
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#282889 - 02/01/15 03:23 AM [User Showcase] Re: This Town Ain't Big Enough [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 01/26/05
Posts: 387
Loc: Denmark
stratos Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 01/26/05
Posts: 387
Loc: Denmark
Great voice. Thanks for sharing!

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