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Years ago, my wife and I helped a dear friend of hers pack up an apartment after her marriage failed.
It was a sad thing to witness...

YOU'LL NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN

your share of the pictures is off of the wall
you've ripped your name from the mailbox in the hall
you keep listening for the phone
but you don't want him to call
and you'll never fall in love again
the bicycle's his and the stereo too
you leave all the albums except one or two
how many times have you wondered what you would do
but you'll never fall in love again
you'll never fall in love again

sunday you'd nap and watch tv on the floor
make popcorn, play gin, and never keep score
now it's all packed in boxes and piled at the door
and you'll never fall in love again
if he walked in right now you swear you'd tear out his eyes
you knew it was coming, and it was such a surprise
you keep wondering how much of the past year was lies
and you'll never fall in love again
you'll never fall in love again

what he's hoping to find, well, he just couldn't say
too bad your heart had to get in the way
don't get in the way

the plants all need water but why should you care
with just his belongings the place looks so bare
you look out the window at nothing and swear that
you'll never fall in love again
no, you'll never fall in love again
you'll never fall in love again
no, you'll never fall in love again


The BAND:
RealTracks in style: 366:Bass, Electric, Country Ev 065
RealTracks in style: ~365:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Ev 085
RealTracks in style: 1856:Cello, Background PopCountry Ev 085
1767 Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm Pop16 Ev16 085
1006 Piano, Acoustic, Solo-Accompaniment, PopCaliforniaSlow Ev 085
MIDI SuperTracks in song: 2058:Strings, Rhythm CelticAir Ev 085
RealDrums in Song: NashvilleEven8^1-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride


Harmonies: the janettes (Janice Merritt and me)

Once again... Janice & Bud - Thanks, guys!


Comments encouraged.
Have at it.

floyd

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Excellent. You always seem to have the right words that 'anybody' that's ever been in whatever particular situation your song is about has said, felt or done.

Over the years, more than 50% of the teachers at our local school were involved in divorce proceedings. I can't think of any where there was not another individual involved coming between their marriage. Can't tell how many times over the years the official story from whoever was leaving saying there was nobody else, they just needed to find them self and "them self" always had a name.
Music will always have a friend in heart break.

Good song, performance and production. Classic Floyd Jane.

Charlie


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Another great tune from FJ. Fantastic lyrics, great choice and mix of the band as usual.


Critter
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Really well done (as usual). There are some great lines in there, such as:

you knew it was coming, and it was such a surprise
you keep wondering how much of the past year was lies


But - and I say this with some hesitation - the song felt like it missed the mark.

The verses - excellent.

The chorus... a great lyric, but I think that was my problem.

One thing that seems to be missing is a strong, melodic chorus - the kind that sticks in the ear. After listening to the song several times, I remember the lyrics and story, but not the melody. And for me, it's the chorus that brings me back to a song.

The other thing was that "You'll never fall in love again" seemed disconnected from the verse. Obviously, it makes sense, but it's up to the listener to guess why this might be. Is it because she doesn't want to let someone hurt her again, or because she believes that it's all been a lie? Is she angry at all men, or just herself for being a fool?

I guess I'm a lazy listener, and I want something that connects the dots, such as:

you look out the window at nothing and swear that
those good times gone had aren't worth worth all this pain
so, you'll never fall in love again


I assume you'll be taking this critique with a huge grain of salt, especially since it's coming from someone who hasn't got the songwriting chops that you do. laugh


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Very nice song and performance - vocals are as usual well recorded and harmonies compliment the tune.
Made me go and listen to more songs from your CD's.

Only small suggestion - perhaps bring the drums in a few bars later with a small drum fill lead in?
Liked how they dropped out and re-entered later in the song.

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Floyd

More genius from you. You have mastered this.

The harmonies, the build, fantastic lyrics, delivered with a superb vocal arrangement.

Thanks, another high score

Trevor


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Excellent....again. grin

Like everything about this one.


Regards,

Bob

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Originally Posted By: dcuny
Really well done (as usual). There are some great lines in there, such as:

you knew it was coming, and it was such a surprise
you keep wondering how much of the past year was lies


But - and I say this with some hesitation - the song felt like it missed the mark.

The verses - excellent.

The chorus... a great lyric, but I think that was my problem.

One thing that seems to be missing is a strong, melodic chorus - the kind that sticks in the ear. After listening to the song several times, I remember the lyrics and story, but not the melody. And for me, it's the chorus that brings me back to a song.

The other thing was that "You'll never fall in love again" seemed disconnected from the verse. Obviously, it makes sense, but it's up to the listener to guess why this might be. Is it because she doesn't want to let someone hurt her again, or because she believes that it's all been a lie? Is she angry at all men, or just herself for being a fool?

I guess I'm a lazy listener, and I want something that connects the dots, such as:

you look out the window at nothing and swear that
those good times gone had aren't worth worth all this pain
so, you'll never fall in love again


I assume you'll be taking this critique with a huge grain of salt, especially since it's coming from someone who hasn't got the songwriting chops that you do. laugh



I agree with this assessment. The chorus was lacking that certain something. The song felt incomplete and unfinished as a result... perhaps a better way to say it is "unsatisfying" in a musical sense. It didn't go where I hoped it would as I was listening.

Aside from that...everything else is up to your usual high standards of excellence.


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com

Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.

You can make excuses or you can make progress but you can't do both.
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Hi Floyd,

there's nothing missing and nothing
disconnected. Just a a beautiful song.
So well written and performed! The piano
sounds like being played exactly for this
song. I love the Janettes.
A Floyd Jane classic!

Guenter

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Originally Posted By: critter
Another great tune from FJ. Fantastic lyrics, great choice and mix of the band as usual.


Nicely done sir.
Rob

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sunday you'd nap and watch tv on the floor
make popcorn, play gin, and never keep score
now it's all packed in boxes and piled at the door
and you'll never fall in love again

That's just great writing, plain and simple. Not overly clever or complicated but just hits in the gut with the heart of the matter. The song brings a palpable reality to the sorrow of the death of a relationship. A relationship is not just the interface of two people but grows deep roots within each one. I can feel the pain of the separation as these roots are torn out in this song. It doesn't have a "hit" quality or a big chorus but I don't think every song is meant to. I would never spend a lot of time listening to only radio hits, even my favorite radio hits. I love a great pop hit, but it is only a small part of the set which makes up great music. This song certainly belongs in the other part of that set. I think it's a great song, and considering the writer, I'm not a bit surprised. Another gem Floyd!! Take care. Greg

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your songs comes from another planet.

This song is a perfect song for a great 45
Beautiful.

Hello
Sergio.



Sergio
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Originally Posted By: c_fogle
Excellent. You always seem to have the right words that 'anybody' that's ever been in whatever particular situation your song is about has said, felt or done.

Over the years, more than 50% of the teachers at our local school were involved in divorce proceedings. I can't think of any where there was not another individual involved coming between their marriage. Can't tell how many times over the years the official story from whoever was leaving saying there was nobody else, they just needed to find them self and "them self" always had a name.
Music will always have a friend in heart break.

Good song, performance and production. Classic Floyd Jane.

Charlie

Thanks, Charlie... Often, for this type song it simply comes down to observation - and getting it down in a conversational manner - so that is natural - something that anyone might say in passing...

"Music will always have a friend in heart break." << that is a songwriter talking! (nice)...


Originally Posted By: critter
Another great tune from FJ. Fantastic lyrics, great choice and mix of the band as usual.

Thanks for dropping by, Steve... appreciate that...

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As someone who does not write songs with lyrics myself, all I can say is that to me it has a great production and sound, and the vocal sounded honest and genuine (and another shout out to the Janettes!). I really enjoyed listening to the song and I very much appreciate your songwriting craft! I'm not sure that always connecting all the dots works - I'd rather hear something a couple of times to develop my own take on it.

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floyd (and the janettes)

what a good song, expressed all the despair in about 3 minutes.
I have to disagree with the comments about the lack of resolution and chorus. The "hook", if that is the correct terminology, is "you'll never fall in love again" and after a listen or two that keeps bouncing around in the mind.
In my opinion that is all that's needed in a song like this.

I can imagine the writer sitting at a table with a guitar in hand picking chords, paper and pen ready and tears in the eyes. First words: I'll never fall in love again because that is how he/she feels at the time. Been there and cried me a river.

excellent floyd

Alyn

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Originally Posted By: dcuny
Really well done (as usual). There are some great lines in there, such as:

you knew it was coming, and it was such a surprise
you keep wondering how much of the past year was lies


But - and I say this with some hesitation - the song felt like it missed the mark.

The verses - excellent.

The chorus... a great lyric, but I think that was my problem.

One thing that seems to be missing is a strong, melodic chorus - the kind that sticks in the ear. After listening to the song several times, I remember the lyrics and story, but not the melody. And for me, it's the chorus that brings me back to a song.

The other thing was that "You'll never fall in love again" seemed disconnected from the verse. Obviously, it makes sense, but it's up to the listener to guess why this might be. Is it because she doesn't want to let someone hurt her again, or because she believes that it's all been a lie? Is she angry at all men, or just herself for being a fool?

I guess I'm a lazy listener, and I want something that connects the dots, such as:

you look out the window at nothing and swear that
those good times gone had aren't worth worth all this pain
so, you'll never fall in love again


I assume you'll be taking this critique with a huge grain of salt, especially since it's coming from someone who hasn't got the songwriting chops that you do. laugh


David - I always enjoy reading your thoughts on songs here on the forum - often including thoughts on both lyric and melody... I will address a couple of things - not as "defense" but as "explanation" - how and why I write as I do - we all have different "styles" shaped by our experience..

"One thing that seems to be missing is a strong, melodic chorus - the kind that sticks in the ear...."
Well...yes...There is no chorus.
It's a tag. It was not intended to be "catchy".
It is intended to be poignant. And to make you think. It is repeated at various points almost off-handedly, "in the course of the conversation" because it is NOT intended to "hit you in the face", but to slowly worm its way into your consciousness ....

" it's up to the listener to guess why this might be.
Is it because she doesn't want to let someone hurt her again..."
YES, MAYBE
"...or because she believes that it's all been a lie?" YES, MAYBE
"Is she angry at all men,..." YES/MAYBE
"...or just herself for being a fool?" YES, MAYBE

...choose your poison

This is basically a "list song". The fact that she will "never fall in love again" is intentionally "one more thing" in the list. Like taking down pictures, her name from the mailbox, filling another box...
You SHOULD be left to decide for yourself the "why" of that. "Connecting those dots" would pigeonhole that reason - which would not necessarily be the reasoning that would elicit the strong reaction from a particular listener. Leaving that to the listeners allows the listener to assign THEIR reasoning, from their experiences - which will tend to make that reasoning strong for them (for most, obviously not all).

If I have "missed the mark" for you, that is, certainly, a valid observation. Not everyone is going to like everything. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on it. Always good to hear what you have to say...Thanks!

floyd

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what he's hoping to find, well, he just couldn't say
too bad your heart had to get in the way
don't get in the way

I love this part (bridge or lift) I'm surprised no one has mentioned it (unless I just missed it) it's beautiful and it adds a new dimension to the song. To me this is very good writing, I got more than just the point of view of the main character over and over.
The hook line stays in my head, it's original and strong but had me thinking of Harry Chapin, John Prine, the great John Hiatt. Good stuff!
Kenny

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To add, yes, I agree with your comments Floyd.

I identified the 'and you'll never fall in love again' was just another item being added to an already painful list. The subtlety and innuendo spoke volumes, in my opinion anyway.

I didn't miss a chorus or specific pre-defined structure. The uniqueness and the solemn lyrics carried the song. Just my opinion though.
Trev


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Floyd,

In my opinion, this is just great songwriting. I like formulas, as a rule. They help keep us on track, and help accomplish goals. But for me, music is a communication of relationships - love songs, breakup songs, worship songs, songs that reach out and touch you. As for me, when I listen to a song, I'm wanting it to touch me, whether it's to laugh, cry, rejoice, or whatever. If you can make all that work within a given formula, then that usually strengthens the song, and makes it more acceptable to a wider audience. Sometimes the song won't fit within a popular formula. It just stands on its own. In my opinion, this song stands on its own.

As to arrangements, I would do some things differently. But then you would do my songs differently. If we all did our arrangements the same, this would sure be a boring place! Bottom line: I really like this song. The vocals, arrangement, production is all very good, but I especially like the way you framed the lyrics.

Steve


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This is beautiful Floyd!
Indeed excellent songwriting, professional arrangement and very cool backing vocals from both you and Janice.

Rob & Anne-Marie


We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

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