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Awesome endeavor Josie. I've listened and tomorrow while traveling we'll stream them back to back.
I'm lucky to squeeze out one song a month!
Bud
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Song number 7: Half way through. Will she make it to the end? What is the time in Amsterdam. WHATS THE TIME IN AMSTERDAMCopyright Arthur Rossi and Joanne Cooper 2016 These wonderful lyrics were provided by Arthur Rossi on FAWM who has written over 50 sets of lyrics and invited collaborators to put music to them. It is so wonderful to work with an already well thought out set of lyrics. I loved the concept as soon as I saw it and put together this country swing version. Now I live in Chicago I'll get along just fine I wonder what my boyfriend's doin' left in Amsterdam I stand up in the morning prepare some eggs and ham is he awake or is he sleepin' there in Amsterdam? Morning time, evening time is it 3 am I dont know what time it is right now in Amsterdam Morning time, evening time is it 8 pm heaven knows what time it is right now in Amsterdam Is he lonely and does he still remember who I am Does he know how much I love him Out in Amsterdam Is he sad and does he miss me will I find another man I Cant find another one My love's in Amsterdam Chorus bridge When there are the moments the hands of those clocks meet In that time I guess, maybe he still thinks of me heaven knows what time it is right now in Amsterdam Realtracks: (I didn't do too much to BIABs style with this one) RealTracks in style: ~539:Bass, Electric, Pop Sw 120 RealTracks in style: 2124:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm CountryShuffleJohn Sw 120 RealTracks in style: ~372:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Hank Sw 120 RealDrums in style: NashvilleBrushesClassicShuffle: a: Sidestick, Brushes b: Brushes, WHATS THE TIME IN AMSTERDAM WHATS THE TIME IN AMSTERDAM
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Hi Josie, Here are my previously mentioned comments on the lyrics of Like A Lady. Before I comment, I'd like to say that the below is just my perspective. I'm only one person I apologise in advance if what I write comes across as anything other than an opinion. I sincerely like this song. As I listened, though, thoughts occurred to me. Then, as I thought about it more, other thoughts occurred to me. I completely understand that the whole point of FAWM is to get drafts down as quickly as possible and then move on. The transformation of drafts into full blown songs and productions comes after February. To start with... here's my analysis The Song's WHYAs I heard it, the lyric concerns a parent singing about his or her daughter and offering 'boys' some advice. This lyric is cleverly constructed because it could be sung by either a mum or a dad. In the first half of verse 1, the parent speaks and talks about 'a boy' in third person. This section has a good, general feel about it. The second half now uses first person plural and talks inclusively about 'our daughters'. The use of 'some' as a pronoun is still presenting 'men' in third person... i.e. talking about them not to them. The use of 'our' gave me the impression that the singer seemed to be expressing the thoughts of all parents of daughters. - For me, by this stage in the song, I'd formed the image in my mind that the singer is talking to a group of parents of daughters about how things could be better if the daughters were more aware of mens' qualities.
Now comes the chorus... With the use of 'you', the perspective initially sounded like the singer is referring generally with the plural 'you' to the group of parents. Then it changes. I was a little confused because it sounded like 'you' was also meant for the 'men' who, up until this point, had only been present in third person... now it seemed like the singer had turned around to a group of men on the other side of the stage from the parents and was addressing them directly. When the song finished, and I looked at the words, I saw that 'you' could be being used in the general sense of 'one'. When I substituted 'one' into the chorus... One has to know how to treat her like a lady One has to know how to treat her like a queen How to make her feel like a princess And clothe her with dignity
… it worked so 'you' could definitely be used in this general sense. I didn't hear it that way though. Also, with the last line of the chorus, it occurred to me that 'with' dignity might work better because 'in' dignity is easily confused with the word 'indignity' and it's very different meaning. The second verse and bridge also seemed to talk to parents sometimes and men sometimes. It also sounded like the singer might be the representative of a group of parents here too. For theses reasons, streamlining the perspective, so that any hint of confusion is removed, is worth playing around with. At this point, it occurred to me that choruses often work better when they're stripped of pronouns because then they can be easily coloured by whatever pronoun(s) and tense leads into them from the verse. The only pronoun I needed to keep was 'her' since the chorus is about the daughter. To strip a chorus of pronouns, the simplest way is often to change verbs into their '-ing' form. The infinitive form of the verb is also useful for this (e.g. I've used 'to get' in the below). These verb forms work well with any tense that's used in the verse (past, present, future). Doing this led me to... ...knowing how to treat her like a lady knowing how to treat her like a queen how to get her feeling like a princess and clothing her with dignity
With no personal pronouns other than 'her' in the chorus, I now needed to develop a trigger phrase (or word) that could give the chorus meaning relative to a specific perspective in the preceding verse. Playing around with this, led me to... 'It's all about...” or maybe just “It's...” or even “If you want to make her happy, it's...” Ok... this is when I thought I'd create a situation in my mind and shape the lyrics to that situation. For this particular 'who is the singer talking to' and 'why', I thought I'd try the scenario that a young man has come around to ask a mum if he can take her daughter out. They are standing at the front door talking. This then leads to the mother reaching down and grabbing her guitar and singing to the young man with some advice about how he should treat her daughter. It's fortunate that she keeps a guitar beside the door for emergencies such as this Thus... I don't pretend to know don't know all the things don't know all a boy could do to give his lady wings My daughter's unaware That there are different kinds of men That some will treat her like a lady Some like a friend That some will make the small things count While others count all the small things If you want to make her happy It's knowing how to treat her like a lady Knowing how to treat her like a queen How to get her laughing like a princess And wrapping her in solid golden dignity The question now arises as to how to develop verse 2 so that the emotional intensity increases while keeping my above scenario in mind. Maybe moving into questions could work... Are you a caring man And not a man who's careless? Will you always lend a hand And not be someone helpless? Can you protect my daughter From those different kinds of men And make her feel she's special Not just a friend? It's the little things that matter And knowing how to treat her like a lady Knowing how to treat her like a queen How to get her laughing like a princess And wrapping her in solid golden dignity The bridge's perspective again moves to the group of parents and addresses them in relation to sons and daughters. Since a bridge often works well when the philosophical content is boosted and also since its meaning usually colours the final chorus, I played around with some 'bigger picture' ideas like... 'what's the meaning of life?', etc... a metaphor could work well here... This led to the metaphor "the road of life" which eventually yielded... Life's road is often bumpy There are challenges galore No-one ever really knows what heaven has in store For a man and a woman, though, it begins with... Knowing how to treat her like a lady Knowing how to treat her like a queen How to get her laughing like a princess And wrapping her in solid golden dignity Here's a link to a pdf of the whole lyric... Hope what I've written is useful. Please feel completely free to throw it away! All the best, Noel Edit: modified a couple of lyrics
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
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Noel. Thank you SO SO much for taking the time to post this. I think everyone can and will benefit from the detailed thinking that you have laid out for us. Love the bit about having her guitar handy at the door! That is classic!. Very funny.
I can see how the perspective of the song would be a bit confusing!
I think the chorus is what makes it confusing with the use of the pronoun "You". The song is not really trying to talk to the "boys" (nor is it trying to talk to the girls for that matter). It is actually talking to the "parents". It is saying we (as parents) need to teach our daughters that there are different kinds of men and to teach her to distinguish between the ones who "lust" after her and the ones that "love" her, ones that are careful (not careless..etc).
Then once we've taught our daughters that, then we need to teach our sons to be that "different type of man" (one that treats her like a princess etc). I think the song will work if I reword the chorus to exclude the "you" to somehow say "there are men who will treat a woman like a princess....etc
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Trying to get a couple of songs out over the weekend! Real job is getting in the way! Song number 8 Co-write with fellow FAWMer Arthur Rossi again THE TRAIN TO PHNOM PENH What a wonderful set of lyrics this was. All the exotic place names were just fantastic. I has to spend a bit of time on Youtube to figure out how to pronounce them (but still probably got it wrong!) I’m stuck out here in Sisophon, the station's ghostly in the dawn, rusting tracks, abandoned logs, three old shacks, two street dogs, a mild breeze blows in June… I'll leave before the great monsoon… waiting for the train to Phnom Penh… Geckos scurry by a stone, the platform’s empty overgrown… a pelican, a watercock, now and then kids draw with chalk, They say “Hey mam, you wait in vain, we have never seen a train, no, there is no more train to Phnom Penh…” (Chorus) Now and then... people come and people go... “you know, they closed this line long ago” I keep waiting for the train to come waiting for the train to Phnom Penh… I’m stuck out here in Sisophon, clocks don’t work, hours drag on... cranes fly by, disappear... why am I sitting here? wild orchids sway and bloom... I'll leave before the great monsoon… waiting for the train to Phnom Penh… (Chorus) Now and then... people come and people go... “you know, they closed this line long ago” I keep waiting for the train to come waiting for the train to Phnom Penh… (Bridge) They say "Mam we gotta to be frank Can’t even get to Battambang... there is no train to Phnom Penh...” (Chorus) Now and then... people come and people go... “you know, they closed this line long ago” I keep waiting for the train to come waiting for the train to Phnom Penh… Realtracks: I am running out of energy to do too much with the standard styles that BIAB gives me. I didn't do anything with this one!! RealTracks in style: ~537:Bass, Acoustic, Pop Sw 165 RealTracks in style: 616:Mandolin, Rhythm Bouncy Sw 165 RealTracks in style: ~812:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Western Swing Sw 165 RealTracks in style: ~373:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Hank Sw 165 RealDrums in style: Nashville2BeatSw8^01-a:Sidestick , b:Snare, Ride
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Josie,
I won't presume to critique you, you are light-years beyond my songwriter skills.
Perhaps I listen first to the music and then to the story-line. To my ear, your chord progression is too similar between songs. On #1, a musical phrase jumped at me that reminded me too much like another of your earlier songs.
Having an immediately identifiable "signature" is something that will fall into place later. Meanwhile, it's a distraction.
I hope I'm articulating properly without offending. My observation wouldn't amount to a hair on a freckle on a frog's wart.
You go girl!
Donny
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Noel. Thank you SO SO much for taking the time to post this. I think everyone can and will benefit from the detailed thinking that you have laid out for us. Love the bit about having her guitar handy at the door! That is classic!. Very funny.
I can see how the perspective of the song would be a bit confusing!
I think the chorus is what makes it confusing with the use of the pronoun "You". The song is not really trying to talk to the "boys" (nor is it trying to talk to the girls for that matter). It is actually talking to the "parents". It is saying we (as parents) need to teach our daughters that there are different kinds of men and to teach her to distinguish between the ones who "lust" after her and the ones that "love" her, ones that are careful (not careless..etc).
Then once we've taught our daughters that, then we need to teach our sons to be that "different type of man" (one that treats her like a princess etc). I think the song will work if I reword the chorus to exclude the "you" to somehow say "there are men who will treat a woman like a princess....etc Ahhh... thank you for the insight. I'm glad my ideas were potentially useful. Happy writing.... you're doing a great job so far! Regards, Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
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Josie,
I won't presume to critique you, you are light-years beyond my songwriter skills.
Perhaps I listen first to the music and then to the story-line. To my ear, your chord progression is too similar between songs. On #1, a musical phrase jumped at me that reminded me too much like another of your earlier songs.
Having an immediately identifiable "signature" is something that will fall into place later. Meanwhile, it's a distraction.
I hope I'm articulating properly without offending. My observation wouldn't amount to a hair on a freckle on a frog's wart.
You go girl!
Donny Thank you So much Don. I appreciate the feedback. After the first few songs they all start sounding the same! I start singing a song and I go "wait a minute, I've already written this. I wrote it yesterday!". As an aside, apparently Paul McCartney thought he had already written "Yesterday". I think it comes from writing them all so close together! I am going to try writing some more acoustic stuff next, just with my guitar, so hopefully that will have some different influences!
Ahhh... thank you for the insight. I'm glad my ideas were potentially useful.
Happy writing.... you're doing a great job so far!
Regards, Noel
Thank you Noel. I have taken careful notes for when I get round to the rewrites.
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Good work so far. Fun watching. Will jump in here and say I've noted the same as Don about the musical familiarity.
I know you've got a good handle on it.
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2024:RB 2024, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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Hi Joanne,
Like No 7 and 8. Enjoyable listen.
Guenter
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Song number 8 Co-write with fellow FAWMer Arthur Rossi again THE TRAIN TO PHNOM PENH
A very interesting lyric. Good melody and music. It's an enjoyable listen.
The vocal seems a little hot (just a little bit of distortion that shouldn't be there...)
fj
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"Perhaps I listen first to the music and then to the story-line. To my ear, your chord progression is too similar between songs. On #1, a musical phrase jumped at me that reminded me too much like another of your earlier songs."
Ha, ha -- it is FAWM and that happens all the time. Beside I write songs with similar melodies and chord progressions from past years. It takes a lot of effort to stretch and add new chords (or voicings) and melodies.
I've heard that the majority of us really only write about 5 "unique" songs -- we just keep writing those same 5 over and over again (with slight variations here and there).
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It was a confession, of sorts. I have a favorite chord progression that is recurrent in most of my tunes. What worked once should work again!
I think Joanne understands that I wasn't knocking her, just a personal observation. Her reply shows that she's aware of the repetitive nature of genius.
A wine connoisseur can immediately tell the vintner, year, perhaps even who stomped the grapes and on what day of the week. She is an excellent vintner and storyteller.
Furthermore, the works of the greatest composers are generally recognized upon hearing just a few notes. Bumpapapaa!
I've forgotten the source but someone once said: "A masterpiece is merely a work in progress."
Donny
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I must say once again that I really appreciate everyone who has take the time to listen to any of the songs and make comments. During the course of this month I have adjusted my sails as the comments have been coming in and I think that has made this the MOST fantastic experience of my life. I can honestly recommend it to anyone. Here is song number 9 (on the downward slope now!) ALL USED UP These lyrics were offered up by fellow FAWMer John Hudome who said he "didn't wan to get too far into FAWM without posting anything" so he posted up these lyrics. They are infinitely relatable. I don't think there is one of us that can say that they haven't felt "All used up" a relationship at some time or other. Lyrics: I no longer like it I don’t care what you say Isn’t now a good fit Just feel in the way Have your time without me Ribbons in my hair Trimmings on the fir tree Better I’m not there Used to be exciting Couldn’t wait to see What would be there waiting For you and for me Efforts now been thwarted Trapped as in a snare buzzing head sounds for free Guess you just don’t care Chorus: And I’m all used up No where to go All used up After the show All used up So now you know I’m all used up The end is coming slow Realtracks: I found the most awesome realtrack! The folk sorrow guitar track! wow. Okay so the tempo doesn't match the final song but I think it did a good job of adjusting! RealTracks in style: ~2474:Bass, Acoustic, Held Ev 085 RealTracks in style: 2548:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm FolkSorrow Ev16 090 RealDrums in style: BrushesBoomChickEv16: a: Brushes Smoothb: Brushes Boom ******************* As Floyd would day "Have at it"
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Joanne,
I listened to all of them, and of all of them all “Be Brave” and “Watching Time” seem closest to an album song in terms of a great production and an identifiable or branded “sound.” Not that you should use ukulele on every song, but these two songs were very simple and warm, and your vocals are excellent and warm as well. This particular simplicity of instruments and tonalities fits your voice and lyrical story telling style very well: it sort of cradles your voice in the warmth of the production, if that makes any sense. If I were producing this, I would strive for this level of warmth, and groove, and in the pocket production on all of the songs. Kind of like a James Taylor album---all of the songs might be different, but they usually all have a similar sound and tonality in the warmth and production. I would use these songs as your touchstones for producing the rest, they turned out really well. On some of the others, I like the songs, but found the instrumentation to be a little jarring or high pitched, in contrast with these productions which really cradled your voice. To me, your very warm, earthy voice tones should be cradled in musical warmth on all of these songs and any instrumentation that does not provide a warm pocket for the voice should be avoided. This album—to me—seems like it is a showcase for your voice, and not the instruments, which need to take second place. Hope this makes sense. If it does, I will be happy to take a listen to all tunes again if they are redone on a song by song basis just to give my production feedback as to whether I feel they are providing that warm pocket for your voice, or are distracting from your voice, should that feedback be useful. Great job with the writing so far. Really excellent material.
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David. Wow! Thank you so much for your detailed feedback. Thank you for taking the time to listen to all the songs. I am intrigued with what appeals and what doesn't. I take all your points very seriously and will definitely think about your kind offer when I do the album
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Song #10 Her Serenity HER SERENITY I have absolutely no idea where this one came from! It started out from my own point of view, getting older, on the homeward journey, grey hair, getting wiser etc...etc using a metaphor of a boat or ship. Then I changed the point of view to "Her" instead of "I" and everything changed. Now, when I listen to it, it could have been written for a friend of mine who passed away from cancer in May last year. And it makes me weep. Not the intention I had when I started but thought I would just Fawm it and move on. Her deck is rough and slightly worn sails no longer bright ropes a little salty stiff stays no longer tight She'll start the homeward journey now set her sails again Sail before the heaving seas wind behind her main feel splendor in Serenity Find beauty in simiplicty See the wonder of Symmerty I know she'll find her Serenity She's been learning all the way That life is not a race slow and even fair or fowl To set a steady pace She's learned to sail the boat alone tried to ride the storm found that endings start with one She'll steer her ship back home Realtracks RealTracks in song: ~518:Bass, Electric, Pop HalfNotes Ev 085 RealTracks in song: ~896:Guitar, 12-String Acoustic, Rhythm FolkRock Ev 100 RealTracks in song: ~2200:Guitar, Nylon, Background CountryBrent Ev 085 RealTracks in song: 1856:Cello, Background PopCountry Ev 085 RT2457:Strings, Rhythm CelticAir Ev 085 And a dimension pro violin
Last edited by JosieC; 02/18/16 04:54 AM.
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Josie,
I'm "sold" before listening.
You have an uncanny ability to radiate love, warmth, respect, and empathy in your glowing personality. You are bulldog-tenacious in your loyalty to your myriad friends.
If we could bottle that, the world would be a much brighter place.
Donny
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Song #10 Her Serenity
A very nice write! Your prosody in this is excellent.
Typically, you would want to have your hook or title repeat - at the beginning and end of the chorus is always a good repeat... in this one (this is just an opinion of course), I think it would be more effective if you could find another word (first line) similar to the others and leave Serenity until that last line.
You are doing great!
fj
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Joanne,
Best of luck with FAWM - quite the undertaking. I admire your efforts.
I'm a big fan of your latest song, Her Serenity. Love the lyrics and the way that you deliver this one...
Bob
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The Band-in-a-Box® Flash Drive Backup Option
Today (April 5) is National Flash Drive Day!
Did you know... not only can you download your Band-in-a-Box® Pro, MegaPAK, or PlusPAK purchase - you can also choose to add a flash drive backup copy with the installation files for only $15? It even comes with a Band-in-a-Box® keychain!
For the larger Band-in-a-Box® packages (UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition), the hard drive backup copy is available for only $25. This will include a preinstalled and ready to use program, along with your installation files.
Backup copies are offered during the checkout process on our website.
Already purchased your e-delivery version, and now you wish you had a backup copy? It's not too late! If your purchase was for the current version of Band-in-a-Box®, you can still reach out to our team directly to place your backup copy order!
Note: the Band-in-a-Box® keychain is only included with flash drive backup copies, and cannot be purchased separately.
Handy flash drive tip: Always try plugging in a USB device the wrong way first? If your flash drive (or other USB plug) doesn't have a symbol to indicate which way is up, look for the side with a seam on the metal connector (it only has a line across one side) - that's the side that either faces down or to the left, depending on your port placement.
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows® Today!
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows for free with build 1111!
With this update, there's more control when saving images from the Print Preview window, we've added defaults to the MultiPicker for sorting and font size, updated printing options, updated RealTracks and other content, and addressed user-reported issues with the StylePicker, MIDI Soloists, key signature changes, and more!
Learn more about this free update for Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows at www.pgmusic.com/support_windowsupdates.htm#1111
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 Review: 4.75 out of 5 Stars!
If you're looking for a in-depth review of the newest Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows version, you'll definitely find it with Sound-Guy's latest review, Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows Review: Incredible new capabilities to experiment, compose, arrange and mix songs.
A few excerpts:
"The Tracks view is possibly the single most powerful addition in 2024 and opens up a new way to edit and generate accompaniments. Combined with the new MultiPicker Library Window, it makes BIAB nearly perfect as an 'intelligent' composer/arranger program."
"MIDI SuperTracks partial generation showing six variations – each time the section is generated it can be instantly auditioned, re-generated or backed out to a previous generation – and you can do this with any track type. This is MAJOR! This takes musical experimentation and honing an arrangement to a new level, and faster than ever."
"Band in a Box continues to be an expansive musical tool-set for both novice and experienced musicians to experiment, compose, arrange and mix songs, as well as an extensive educational resource. It is huge, with hundreds of functions, more than any one person is likely to ever use. Yet, so is any DAW that I have used. BIAB can do some things that no DAW does, and this year BIAB has more DAW-like functions than ever."
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