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Well, It seems Floyd was right. Nashville Songwriters HQ in Nashville asked me to do a rewrite of Bible on the Dresser and sing it straight and add a bridge, and asked for the same sound tweaks all of you guys asked for. They said, in these exact words: "If you keep this exactly as it is as a comedy song you might get it into a movie. But if you add a bridge and sing it straight you might have a Top 40 Country Hit on your hands." https://soundcloud.com/david-snyder-gigs/bible-on-the-dresserI'm just doing what everybody asked. Everyone is saying the same thing. Hmmm. So, maybe I should listen to what the people on the forum say??? Is that God's lesson to me today???  RealTracks in style: ~2474:Bass, Acoustic, Held Ev 085 RealTracks in style: ~~364:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Ev 065 RealTracks in style: ~~368:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Ev 065 RealTracks in style: ~~369:Pedal Steel, Background Ev 065 RealDrums in style: NashvilleEven8^6-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, HiHat Open
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I like this version better. A nice transformation.
Last edited by Charlie Fogle; 04/28/16 12:24 PM.
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2024:RB 2024, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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Nice song David, though if I am to be honest I prefer you on the rock stuff, but hey its good to have a go at something different.
Musiclover
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David,
What happened with the vocals? They sound like they're recorded in a large room with added reverb.
The songs works well for the target. Melody & lyrics are in the country sweet spot.
Are you singing in your preferred key?
Well, I read that this is out of your stylistic comfort zone but I think you did a good job of a demo for a song someone is very likely to snap up.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Apprentice
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much better version. "might not go to hell . . . an instant classic! 
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Hi David,
I like the original version better.
The vocals sound more natural.
Guenter
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You're gettin' closer, David.
You (as the writer) decide when you are ready to move on.
I think you should keep at this. There are a lot of simple things you can do to make this tighter. And the overall idea of the song is a good one.
A number of the lines could be tightened up by dropping all the words you don't need - and it will make the song "sing better" (and easier).
The line "...guess it's just as well" feels like a throw away (both times around). It comes at a crucial point in the chorus. You should find something stronger there.
I like what you did in the bridge, but I think it could be cut in half and still say the same thing. I'd cut the middle 4 lines (and leave the philosophy to the listener's imagination).
I only say these type things to you because I know you are willing to look at such things in the light they are given...
floyd
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Hmmmm. I willl take another look at that reverb. Yeah, I pretty much adjusted it the way I wanted it and it was for a demo, hard to say if it is my preferred key.
Thanks for the feedback.
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Ok, I will check that out. Thanks!
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Thanks Floyd. All good ideas. This one was done specifically for a demo so I have to dog in the fight when it comes to remixing and stuff like that. This could be an interesting experiment in and of itself. I have always found though that you are never going to find a mix everyone agrees on and at some point you just have to stop. Thanks for the feedback, and yes I am open! That is why I am here!!!
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"I have always found though that you are never going to find a mix everyone agrees on and at some point you just have to stop." It's never finished...just abandoned. The transformation is interesting and it has been informative following the back and forth with the posts. I learn a lot from reading discussions like this. We like this one best...thanks for sharing. J&B
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Well, guys there is a Version 3, coming because Nashville asked me to do something else for a rewrite 3. I will post that as well.
This may be interesting just as an exercise to see how nitpicky people can get when they think you are on to something, i.e., a radio song, or commercial hit. What I have been instructed to do lends credence to what has been posted elsewhere on the forum, i.e. cut the bridge in half,keep the chorus exactly the same, keep V2 about the relationship, and find a way to slightly change the melody in the chorus.
I will keep you guys posted, because this is actually interesting to me. Almost everyone I know who has a radio song rewrote it about 12 times.
Thank GOD I have Band in a Box. Really. This is where Band in a Box pays for itself. Can you imagine the studio costs of these rewrites. Seriously!!!
But for us it is no problem. We have much to be grateful for as BIAB users.
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