You need to be logged in to post
Options
Index
#156196 - 04/07/12 10:27 PM [User Showcase] 6th Song for the Album: Risen for the Ashes: "Remember Me"
Registered: 11/27/11
Posts: 140
Paul bright Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 11/27/11
Posts: 140

http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_12827440

BB Electric for bass and organ
BB - 2 Acoustic Guitars
Ezkey - Piano

A very hard song for me to write today...

Top
#156197 - 04/08/12 08:55 AM [User Showcase] Re: 6th Song for the Album: Risen for the Ashes: "Remember Me" [Re: Paul bright]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16597
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16597
Loc: Australia
Hi Paul,

This is song is a credit to you. I love the way the arrangement builds up and up. The whole production oozes confidence and competence on all levels.

Regards,
Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS


Top
#156198 - 04/08/12 01:43 PM [User Showcase] Re: 6th Song for the Album: Risen for the Ashes: "Remember Me" [Re: Noel96]
Registered: 11/27/11
Posts: 140
Paul bright Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 11/27/11
Posts: 140
Thank you so much.. it was by far the hardest song for me to write..not technically.. but emotionally.... I had to re-open all those past feelings of that time period.. and try to capture the emotions in a song.. All of you know that is not an easy thing to really do.. the words have to match the emotion . the chords have to give off the flavor of the emotion.. then you have to sing it in the emotional state of the song... This one pushed me harder then any song I've ever written.. When I finished it yesterday I was mentally wiped... so much I forgot to eat dinner.. and just went to bed..

The emotions got so real on when writing that chorus... Tough Song... I hope it comes through in the presentation....

Top
#156199 - 04/08/12 06:27 PM [User Showcase] Re: 6th Song for the Album: Risen for the Ashes: "Remember Me" [Re: Paul bright]
Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4584
Sundance Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4584
Paul,

You have a good voice and do wonderful production. Very professional sounding mixes. To me, the vox effects are a little apparent when there's softer music making your voice less intimate to me but it sounds great in the big part of the mix. But that's a matter of taste I suppose.

What I would like to suggest to you is less relying on over used cliches in your lyrics and more fresh lyrical imagery. I'm not saying to never use a cliche. The trick is finding balance between telling and showing so that yes - even in an emotional song - your own unique writing voice comes through. Try coming up with fresh ways of saying what's already been said and rhymed the same way thousands of times.

I know that's hard to hear. I'm only saying it because I truly do respect your talent.

Also watch out for filler words like "just". Not saying, not to ever use it but if it's there more than a couple of times then one of the lines should be rewritten.

What I'm suggesting will pack a bigger emotional punch in your songs if you'll work at it. It's also fun.

Really nice production.

Top
#156200 - 04/08/12 07:51 PM [User Showcase] Re: 6th Song for the Album: Risen for the Ashes: "Remember Me" [Re: Sundance]
Registered: 11/27/11
Posts: 140
Paul bright Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 11/27/11
Posts: 140
Jose, Not hard to hear at all…. The purpose of this place as I see it is to put yourself out there where other people doing the same thing give there professional feedback. Kind of a getting a different perspective, looking out of the box. Some ideas you will agree with and some you won’t.

For me I take in what fits me, and I discard what doesn’t. I will go back as I do with all comments and see if there are things in your comments that fit me and the way I want my music to sound.

You taking the time to respond on my song tells me a lot in itself. I respect your opinion as a person but also as an artist. I always like hearing your feedback. Its honest.

Have a Happy Easter.

Top
#156201 - 04/09/12 11:50 AM [User Showcase] Re: 6th Song for the Album: Risen for the Ashes: "Remember Me" [Re: Paul bright]
Registered: 11/27/11
Posts: 140
Paul bright Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 11/27/11
Posts: 140
Jose, I went back and listened based off your comments... ....But the bottom line is I like the words and how it turned out. Its staying the way it was intended and written.. In this case I think you totally wrong and for me the comments are just out in left field.

The words came from the heart not from some rhyming dictionary as I suspect you were hinting at. But as always I do appreciate your view and feedback. As I said before if the comments fit the way I want my music to be and makes it better I will take them in like a sponge... however if they don't I put them in the recycle bin where they belong and just move on....

Top
#156202 - 04/09/12 11:19 PM [User Showcase] Re: 6th Song for the Album: Risen for the Ashes: "Remember Me" [Re: Paul bright]
Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4584
Sundance Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 4584
Paul,

I'm sorry, I never meant to offend you. I think all songwriters use rhyming dictionaries. I don't know anyone who doesn't own several. Love mine.

I was only trying to help you. I truly apologize if it didn't come across that way. And of course you absorb what you feel applies and disregard what you feel does not. I think we all do that too.

Wishing you all the best.

Top
#156203 - 04/10/12 01:57 AM [User Showcase] Re: 6th Song for the Album: Risen for the Ashes: "Remember Me" [Re: Paul bright]
Registered: 12/27/11
Posts: 348
Loc: Long Beach California. United ...
Tim Lawrence Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 12/27/11
Posts: 348
Loc: Long Beach California. United ...
Paul,

I use two criteria when judging songs I hear on forums like this.

If you're writing this song for just friends and family or people on the Internet then this song is great the way it is.
However if you hope to go further with this song like radio then sorry man but I pretty much agree with what Josie said.
I would also add that the second verse seems allot like the first verse and doesn't really cover any new ground.
And again, the drums for me just seem too busy for this type of song.
Ya know It's harder then ever to get a song picked up by an artist these days.
The first thing they look for is originality in the lyrics.
Writing from the heart is great, but you also need to look at your work objectively.
Good luck with it.

Tim

Top
#156204 - 04/11/12 10:46 AM [User Showcase] Re: 6th Song for the Album: Risen for the Ashes: "Remember Me" [Re: Tim Lawrence]
Registered: 04/11/08
Posts: 58
Adrian Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 04/11/08
Posts: 58
Paul,

Love the arrangement reminds me of the Eagles, was this all done in Band in a Box?

Im really impressed with the way the piano sounds and the excellent vocal work.

Now listening to some of your other tracks, some great production on these tracks.

Kindest Regards

Adrian

Top
#156205 - 04/11/12 06:20 PM [User Showcase] Re: 6th Song for the Album: Risen for the Ashes: "Remember Me" [Re: Adrian]
Registered: 01/28/12
Posts: 3149
Loc: Murgon Queensland Australia
Rob4580 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 01/28/12
Posts: 3149
Loc: Murgon Queensland Australia
Great clarity and mood.
Nice build up to a powerful song.
Your vocal reminds me a little of Crash Test Dummies.

Think you have a winner here.

Regards Rob

Top
#156206 - 04/11/12 10:19 PM [User Showcase] Re: 6th Song for the Album: Risen for the Ashes: "Remember Me" [Re: Rob4580]
Registered: 11/27/11
Posts: 140
Paul bright Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 11/27/11
Posts: 140
The final mix down.. I LISTENED.... even though it was hard... Jose np.. I had to step back.. tim the drums were to busy.... thanks ...

http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_12827440

Top
#156207 - 04/11/12 10:34 PM [User Showcase] Re: 6th Song for the Album: Risen for the Ashes: "Remember Me" [Re: Paul bright]
Registered: 11/27/11
Posts: 140
Paul bright Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 11/27/11
Posts: 140
Jose

I know .. I know.. you don't know how hard this song was for me to write.. I read you comments and it was like finger nails on a chalk board... .. I needed a couple days away from it.. . to close .. to personal...

Jose.. I value your thoughts.. because in end those view points make me better.. we are good at least from my side.. again so sorry for taking the defensive track.. you were being honest and to the point.. I just wasn't at the place to really hear it...

Thank you Jose...


Edited by Paul bright (04/11/12 10:35 PM)

Top
#156208 - 04/11/12 11:48 PM [User Showcase] Re: 6th Song for the Album: Risen for the Ashes: "Remember Me" [Re: Paul bright]
Registered: 06/17/10
Posts: 1943
Loc: Canyon Lake, TX
Steve Young Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/17/10
Posts: 1943
Loc: Canyon Lake, TX
Paul,

Nice song. As always, your vocals are very nice. Sounds better with the drums not as busy. I know it is hard to hear even constructive criticism on our songs, sometimes. I know with my songs, they are like my babies! No parent enjoys hearing their children criticized. But like you said, it makes me better to receive constructive input to my music.

I agree with Josie's advice for you. But I certainly understand the emotional drain that you expressed about writing this song. I think you have demonstrated a quality of your character by being so open, and listening. One of the things I really appreciate about our Forum family is the kind-spirited and gracious way people express their opinions.

Thanks for writing this song, and sharing it with us!

Steve
_________________________
Steve Young
Music
"In order to compose, all you need to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of." - Robert Schumann

Top
#156209 - 04/12/12 12:10 AM [User Showcase] Re: 6th Song for the Album: Risen for the Ashes: "Remember Me" [Re: Steve Young]
Registered: 11/27/11
Posts: 140
Paul bright Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 11/27/11
Posts: 140
yea hard to step way. thanks . Guys this was a really hard song for me to do.. I loved m y ex-wife .....which this song was about .

Top


PG Music News
How I Use Band-in-a-Box® to Create Shots/Chops

Band-in-a-Box® user Henry Clarke creates a lot of great songs with Band-in-a-Box®, and he's shared his steps for creating the shots/chops within his recent song Lonely in a Crowd.

To watch Henry's video, click here.

Have your own program tip to share? Feel free to post it to our Tips & Tricks forum.

#TipTuesday

Uncommon RealTracks Instruments for Band-in-a-Box®

Today is Uncommon Instrument Awareness Day.

Examples of "uncommon instruments" include anything from Spoons to the Wheelharp to the Singing Ringing Tree, and more!
(there's probably more instruments out there that we DON'T know than we DO know)

Although our RealTracks collection doesn't include many 'uncommon instruments', we do offer some pretty unique choices!

On top of the usual varieties we offer for Piano, Guitar, Saxophone, Flute, Clarinet, Bass, Tuba, Trumpet, Trombone, and more - our RealTracks library also offers a nice selection of Shakuhachi and Kalimba - there's even a Koto RealTrack included in Set 212!

Kalimba: RealTracks Set 271
Koto: RealTracks Set 212
Shakuhachi: RealTracks Sets 193 & 212

What's the most surprising RealTrack Instrument that you've come across?

Band-in-a-Box® 2020 Portuguese for Windows is Here!

Existem mais de 50 novos recursos no Band-in-a-Box® 2020! Existem aprimoramentos no RealTracks (RealTracks vocais com som mais suave, RealTracks Engrossados, Substitutos de RealTracks e MultiFrases). A maioria dos RealDrums agora possui RealCharts (com notação de bateria precisa). Há um novo navegador de artistas do RealTracks para encontrar informações/biografias/links/listas de RealTracks em todos os artistas. Um novo Navegador de recursos permite que o usuário novo ou "esquecido" encontre e use facilmente a maioria dos recursos/teclas de atalho/documentos em uma única janela. Equalizar Tempoaprimoramentos na Seleção de Músicas, baixo/bateria ou apenas bateria nas introduções automáticas, 3.400 títulos adicionados, aprimoramentos no MusicXML, visualização de guitarra para "Canhotos" e "Estudantes", aprimoramentos de arrastar e soltar, exibição de várias janelas do Interpretador de Acordes de Áudio e muito mais!

COMPRE/ATUALIZE, & BAIXE AGORA!

Band-in-a-Box® 2019 Mac Update Ready!

Just because Band-in-a-Box® 2020 for Mac is here doesn't mean we've forgotten our 2019 users!

If you're still using Band-in-a-Box® 2019, make sure you download the latest patch update (b324) for an updated splash screen (macOS 10.12 and 10.13 users), smoother Song Titles dialog, access to your (purchased) RealTracks Set 328, and we've corrected the reported issue with opening songs from older versions of Band-in-a-Box in the 2019 version.

Learn more about this patch and download it here.

Review - Loops-with-Style PAK 2 for Band-in-a-Box® 2020

"Dr. Dave" Walker is at it again! You may remember his recent reviews of both Band-in-a-Box 2020 for Mac and Xtra Styles PAK 9 - now he has something to say about our Loops-with-Style PAK 2 - check it out: Click here to read...

With money being tight for most musicians, this is a wonderful gift for those on a limited budget. At $29, it offers months and years of fun and experimentation, bringing many ideas to fruition as songs with enough variation so that your audience doesn’t jump to "aw, that's a computer!" while still keeping the power of the software in your hands.
-"Dr. Dave" Walker

Thank you again Dr. Dave for the great review!

Learn more about Loops-with-Style PAKs: Windows | Mac

Band-in-a-Box® - My New Favorite Thing

Did you know we have a My Favorite Things forum? We encourage you to share your favorite features in Band-in-a-Box and RealBand there, along with what features you use the most and why - we LOVE getting feedback!

Like the latest post from Tangmo:

My New Favorite Thing - Extra Style PAK #9 with Loop Pack #2

I set up an eight bar progression with some simple pushes, shots, holds, and rests for reference. Then I started auditioning styles--Three hours later, I am invigorated, inspired, and just plain smiling big. Really CHOICE! From "down to earth" to eclectic, this is a really fun pak.

Great job, folks!

Thanks Tangmo!

Learn more about Loops-with-Style PAKs: Windows | Mac

Learn more about Xtra Styles PAKs: Windows | Mac

Refresh Your Band-in-a-Box® 2020 for Windows Today!

Update your Band-in-a-Box 2020 to the latest build 725 for Windows today! This free update acknowledges song memo edits when saving your work, resolves step-advance within the Big Piano window, revives a killed audio track, and more!

Just like our recent Mac patch, the DAW Plugin has been updated too! We've added "insert" and "delete" options into the chord sheet context menu and addressed 20+ reported 'bugs'!

Learn more & update today!

Forum Stats
32597 Members
68 Forums
65503 Topics
555369 Posts

Max Online: 2537 @ 01/19/20 07:09 AM
Newest Members
Kevinuser, Beej, michaeldg3, lencrawl42, Provipgroup

32597 Registered Users
Top Posters (30 Days)
MarioD 191
VideoTrack 137
Matt Finley 123
Jim Fogle 118
Guitarhacker 116
floyd jane 104
Janice & Bud 102
MusicStudent 98
rayc 89
Tano Music 89
Today's Birthdays
plotzie