When the end comes...will you be ready?


a co-write with Bill Osofsky



The BAND

RealTracks in song: 541:Bass, Electric, Pop Sw 190
RealTracks in song: 946:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm MemphisCleanShort Sw 190
RealTracks in song: 945:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm MemphisCleanSustain Sw 190
RealTracks in song: 948:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm MemphisDirtyMuted Sw 190
RealTracks in song: 589:Banjo, Bluegrass Doc Ev 100 (Rhythm)
RealTracks in song: 436:Mandolin, Soloist Bluegrass Ev 130
RealTracks in song: 597:Guitar, Acoustic, Soloist Bluegrass Doc Ev 100
RealDrums in style: NashvilleSwing8^2-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride



THE SHED


i gotta see a client he told her as he left
but he went off to sin at the holiday inn
where he died an embarrassing death
the police returned his brass chain
that's where his keys were
so she checked the big shack
that he built out back
to see what he'd been hidin' from her
well she opened up the door
this is what she saw

a dozen cases of miller beer
a browning that he used for deer
a muddy pair of wading boots
16 boxes of red man chew
peanut butter, jam and bread
out there in the shed

she never knew her buford to be the type to hoard
and she didn't expect that he actu'ly kept
the junk he didn't need no more
his closet was clean, the garage shined like a pearl
she thought she'd find cash and some valuables stashed
to run off with with some other girl
well she took a step inside
couldn't believe her eyes

there's a generator, extention cords
penny nails and two by fours
bottled water, powdered milk
m&m's, aspirin pills
gauze and tape, needles and thread
out there in the shed.

and over in the corner
well, it almost made her cry
a chair with his name and a chair with hers
sittin' side by side

she settled in that chair and took a look around

cans of corn beans and beets
turkey jerky, freeze dried beef
survival books, a hunting knife
hostess twinkies fresh for life
come armegedon they'd be fed
out there in the shed

all prepared for armaged-don
out there in the shed


Enjoy.

Comments encouraged.

floyd

Hi Floyd & Bill,

Well, I was surprised as heck to see Bill's name there! I've casually known Bill since about 2006. Even wrote a song for a young lady he was working with back then. Hi Bill - it was great to see your name again!

You guys did a super job on the write! You never know what you'll find in those sheds out back. Loved the two chairs part:

and over in the corner
well, it almost made her cry
a chair with his name and a chair with hers
sittin' side by side

That's really, really good! I enjoyed the use of the traditional instruments of Americana/Country/Folk lineage. Had to listen to it twice ... too good for just one listen!

As far as when the end gets here ... I' guess we'll see!

Keeping my comments brief tonight. As Di gets better - I've got the flu! Feel terrible.

Merry Christmas to both of you.

Alan

Enjoyed that guys.
A swinging hillbilly take on a survivalist scene with a romantic twist.
Very entertaining.
Cheers.

aside from not getting the holiday inn thing.... the rest was pretty cool..... That first line was out of character to the rest of the song.

Nice mix and loved the instrumentation choices.

Cool man. A song as only Floyd could do it! Great job guys.

Excellent co-write.

Hi Floyd and Bill,

Strange, different, thought provoking, but above all, entertaining.

A very clever write and production, all as professional as ever.

ROG.

Nicely done!

As usual, clever well written lyrics and a totally pro sounding mix.

Nice song guys. Great concept and the production as always top notch. Love it.

Fun and clever!! My favorite line (from a bunch of great ones):

hostess twinkies fresh for life

That one really made me laugh! This is such a well-crafted write, mostly just fun but with a nice sentimental twist. Arrangement and mix are perfect! Another excellent write by an excellent writer (and apparently co-writer as well). Really enjoyed the journey to The Shed Floyd!! Take care. Greg

So Buford is a doomsday prepper,

I'm actually on board with Herb, I don't get the Holiday Inn

thing either. It's kind of a funny folksy tale with a nice melody

and musical flow but I don't like Buford. I guess he's a good ole boy

with a complex relationship, he cares for his wife but cheats on her.

The song is very visual, I like that, I don't like grocery lists much.

I'm sorry, I never mean to be too critical or nasty. There are things

that I like here, maybe I'm not the audience for this one. Maybe

the character is just human and I'm not focusing on the humor

or sweet twist. Those chairs should've been in the home to be used

and shown as a symbol of love out in the open. I don't expect people

to agree with me on this and I have the highest respect for you Floyd.

Take my read on this with a grain of salt as most here will love it

and heck, have a Merry Christmas

Floyd & Bill,
That`s a pretty complete list - might be straight from a preppers website!
I guess the first verse does make the tale a bit darker than the rest of the song... but hey, I`m a details guy, so I really enjoyed that grocery list!
Super vocal that captures the humour intended and very clean toe-tapping arrangement.

Robert

Dear Floyd !


I had my laugh, but
maybe I should take it
a little more seriously
as there sure are people
preparing for armageddon
both here and there !

In any case a brilliantly
written and performed tune
as was expected also !:))

A most Merry X-mas to you
and your co writer and
a most Happy New Year too !

Cheers
Dani

floyd & Bill

Great melody - fun tune - clever lyric, excellent storytelling about a philandering survivalist, and all wrapped up in a great performance.

Peter

I was thinking the same thing. I thought the Holiday Inn part worked OK as it was referenced again later when she said she thought he might have run off with some other girl. Great production as usual and very well sung with some challenging phrasing. I as well as many others always get excited to see a new post from you. A pleasure, Tom

Hi, Alan - I hope you are on the mend. Hope Di is doing well, too.

I've written a bunch with Bill. He is a fine lyricist - an excellent sense of prosody for a guy who doesn't play an instrument... Most of what he would send me were completed stories - I just had to come up with music and production and tweak a few things here and there to fit my cadence and sensibilities...




Glad you enjoyed it, Richard...





When Bill sent me the lyric, I had no problem understanding the point.
I'm surprised that anyone would. But I will explain.

but he went off to sin at the holiday inn

That means he was going to the Holiday Inn to have sex with another woman.
Or a man. We don't know that much about Buford.
Either way, he was cheating on her.

where he died an embarrassing death

If you were at the Holiday Inn in your small North Carolina town cheating on your wife and you died of a heart attack (for example), then that would likely be very embarrassing for your family...

Which sets up the rest of the story.
The police return his belongings - which include his keys.
The wife immediately goes to unlock the shed to find out what Buford has been doing out there. She thinks he has been preparing to run off with someone else.
Turns out he was getting ready for the both of them to survive some apocalypse.

I know Bill would likely not explain a lyric. He generally just puts it out there and let's it stand.





Thanks, David...

Glad you found it interesting, ROG...




Thanks, Dave...




Appreciate you dropping by, Samuel...

Yeah I did kinda get that from it, but what puzzled me, as someone else also mentioned.... he seems to love his wife but he's off cheating on her. Yeah, it is what it is.... just thought it didn't fit the rest of the song..... maybe he could have died from a heart attack while driving his truck or something.... more in line with what the rest of the song paints him to be...a guy who loves his wife and makes preparation for them to survive the zombie apocalypse without her knowledge of what he's doing in the shed.

I don't think that Bill's storyline - a guy who cheats on his wife yet cares about her and would want her with him during the apocalypse - is any less valid. There are a lot of imperfect people in the world. There are a lot of guys who cheat on their wives but would never want to leave them - and still care for them - and would still protect them above all others. The guy who is stockpiling twinkies for the end of the world is not necessarily playing with the same deck as the rest of us. You are projecting a different story on it. Not the story that Bill chose to tell.

Thanks, Greg. It is all just for fun. And Bill is a fine writer - easy to work with, too...





Kenny - you can check back to my explanation to Herb about the Holiday Inn.
I can't answer for Bill, but I don't think you are suppose to like Buford. I didn't much care for him, myself. And I will repeat my follow up to Herb - I don't think that Bill's storyline - a guy who cheats on his wife yet cares about her and would want her with him during the apocalypse - is any less valid. There are a lot of imperfect people in the world. There are a lot of guys who cheat on their wives but would never want to leave them - and still care for them - and would still protect them above all others. The guy who is stockpiling twinkies for the end of the world is not necessarily playing with the same deck as the rest of us. I don't think Buford would put those chairs in the house. They were a part of his shed plan. It is "his way". You are projecting a different story on it. Not the story that Bill chose to tell.
I can't really address your dislike for list songs. There is no question this is one. There are thousands of classic examples - Tom T. Hall did it all the time. Dylan, too (to name just two)...

Grain of salt taken. I've got no problem with you not taking to this one. Not everyone is going to like everything. So I just keep writing. All the time. A bunch of them. Maybe you'll like the next one better...

Thanks for listening...

Robert - thanks for having a go at this...




Thanks, Dani!