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#473261 - 05/17/18 01:31 PM
[User Showcase]
NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
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Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 586
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Journeyman
Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 586
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
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Here's another co-write with my guitar student Kathy. I had been messing around with the progression and played it for her. We then discussed some ideas for lyrics and within a day she e-mailed me a lyric sheet, I made some changes to some of the lyrics and then spent a day or so working on the melody... That was a month ago today. I am enjoying the collaboration process as I haven't done that for quite some time and her & I seem to work well together. (She's a lyric writing machine!)  All RT's are listed below. All lead guitar parts are either my Tele (Trigger) or my Strat (Tichiwa), My Martin (Dean) has a strumming track too. I'm doing all the vocals as well. As always all comments welcome. https://soundcloud.com/user-813802595/second-thoughtsRD NashBrushBalDbkEv16^1 RT 1825 Bass RT 368 Guitar Acoustic Strumming RT 1595 Guitar Acoustic Fingerpicking RT 1035 Banjo RT 1602 Piano RT 1805 Synth Pad ©2018 Greg Achord & Kathy Clifford Second Thoughts
Never felt like looking back before Always knew it was you I do adore Failed to cry when it broke my heart That doesn't mean it's not tearing me apart A second guess it can cause a near miss All I think about is our first kiss (Chorus) You can’t fake this…I’ve already tried Like goosebumps on the arm…Impossible to hide You can’t fake this…I’ve already tried Like a breeze on a summer day…Impossible to ride I thought of kneeling down and saying a prayer Hoping deep inside that you still care A moment passed never thought of again Is It too late have we lost what might have been I keep lookin' back cause I think there's a chance Could there still be fire in this romance (Chorus) Ending La la la…la la la la la….la la la….la la la la la La la la…la la la la la….la la la….la la la la la La la la…la la la la la….la la la….la la la la la La la la…la la la la la….la la la….la la la la la
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#473263 - 05/17/18 01:41 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Achordocaster]
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Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2932
Loc: Victoria, BC
PG Music Staff
Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2932
Loc: Victoria, BC
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This is a really great song. I especially enjoyed the lyrics, "I thought of kneeling down and saying a prayer. Hoping deep inside that you still care." Very strong. Thanks for sharing.
_________________________
Cheers,
Ember
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#473305 - 05/17/18 08:34 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Achordocaster]
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Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1508
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Expert
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1508
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
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Achordocaster,
Great opening, and nice work on the vocals. Love the second verse; great lines. And equally, nice lines in that chorus. Really well done collaboration. Enjoyed my listen a ton!
Best regards,
Deej
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#473575 - 05/19/18 12:35 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Achordocaster]
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Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 7000
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Veteran
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 7000
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
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Very cool song Greg. Guitar was excellent. Loved the lyrics and excellent delivery. Super co-write.
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#473590 - 05/19/18 03:18 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Achordocaster]
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Registered: 01/18/16
Posts: 1664
PG Music Staff
Registered: 01/18/16
Posts: 1664
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Thanks for sharing this with us Achordocaster! I really enjoyed the progression. The banjo is a great touch and overall very pleasant to listen to. Well done!
_________________________
Cheers,
Joe
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#473661 - 05/20/18 06:29 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Achordocaster]
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Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1520
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Expert
Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1520
Loc: Charlotte, NC
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One of the things I liked about your song was how on the third line of your chorus you varied the melody instead of simply repeating is as most songs do. Really good guitar work, and I liked the banjo in the background.
I’m not a big fan of the la-la-la type of lyric substitution.. for my taste, I would add a different instrumental sound instead of the vocal there, but you had some nice harmonies to take advantage of that approach. Also, I would have taken it out with a fade..maybe you didn’t intend to leave that little ending segment in there..
Thanks for sharing!
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#473667 - 05/20/18 08:34 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Achordocaster]
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Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 12522
Loc: GA USA
Veteran
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 12522
Loc: GA USA
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Nice write, arrangement and vocal/guitar performances.... We enjoyed the listen! J&B PS Cool guitar names 
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#473740 - 05/20/18 10:14 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Ember - PG Music]
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Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 586
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Journeyman
Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 586
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
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This is a really great song. I especially enjoyed the lyrics, "I thought of kneeling down and saying a prayer. Hoping deep inside that you still care." Very strong. Thanks for sharing. Thank you Ember that's very nice. I appreciate the listen Achordocaster,
Great opening, and nice work on the vocals. Love the second verse; great lines. And equally, nice lines in that chorus. Really well done collaboration. Enjoyed my listen a ton!
Best regards,
Deej Hey Deej, Thanks for the kind words & the listen. Very cool song Greg. Guitar was excellent. Loved the lyrics and excellent delivery. Super co-write.
Thanks Scott, appreciate it. On behalf of Kathy too. Thanks for sharing this with us Achordocaster! I really enjoyed the progression. The banjo is a great touch and overall very pleasant to listen to. Well done! Your welcome Joe, and thanks for the listen. I'm quite fond of using a little banjo in the background.
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#473748 - 05/20/18 11:39 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Achordocaster]
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Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 5090
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
Veteran
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 5090
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
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It's a very cool collaboration.
Nice BIAB arrangement and well played addition stuff.
The only nit I would pick is that the very 1st syllable is weak in comparison to the rest of the line - that'd only take a 10 tweak to fix then you have a dead set classic 70s singer songwriter piece.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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#473891 - 05/22/18 10:57 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Achordocaster]
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Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1032
Loc: Maryland
Expert
Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1032
Loc: Maryland
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Great production on this. Very pro sound.
SD
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#474137 - 05/23/18 11:45 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Achordocaster]
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Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6736
Loc: Davis, CA
Veteran
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6736
Loc: Davis, CA
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Very cool!! Really taps into the era of music that I love. Nice write, great vocal, and top production/mix. Everything works!! Take care. Greg
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#474647 - 05/26/18 02:48 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Achordocaster]
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10676
Loc: Florida
Veteran
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10676
Loc: Florida
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Greg & Kathy,
A really nice song. Sounds like an old favorite...
Excellent arrangement and mix. Nice vocals and harmony.
Nice.
fj
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#474695 - 05/26/18 05:00 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Achordocaster]
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Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 18383
Loc: Hamlin NY
Veteran
Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 18383
Loc: Hamlin NY
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I really enjoyed this one. I liked the mix, chord progression, instrumentation, lyric and your vocal.
This sounded like something that I would have in my oldies collection.
_________________________
The most expensive vehicle to operate, by far, is a grocery shopping cart!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software and some hardware
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#474719 - 05/26/18 06:38 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Ember - PG Music]
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Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7543
Loc: South Carolina
Veteran
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 7543
Loc: South Carolina
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This is a really great song. I especially enjoyed the lyrics, "I thought of kneeling down and saying a prayer. Hoping deep inside that you still care." Very strong. Thanks for sharing. My thoughts exactly. Oddly, these exact lyrics were playing out as the song was playing on SoundCloud and I was commenting. You are still one of my favorite vocalists here on the forum and I'm really getting into your melodies. Enjoyed listening.
_________________________
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2023:RB 2023, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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#474974 - 05/28/18 11:24 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Achordocaster]
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Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 5373
Loc: New York
Veteran
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 5373
Loc: New York
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Greg & Kathy,
Excellent song! Love the strong vocals and overall mix.
Really well done.
Bob
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#475049 - 05/28/18 04:38 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Achordocaster]
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5496
Loc: Sacramento, California
Veteran
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5496
Loc: Sacramento, California
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I enjoyed the listen. The song has a strong Gordon Lightfoot vibe, both in your vocal delivery, the chord changes, and the guitars. That's a good thing. Since you said all comments are welcome, I'll stupidly broach the usually taboo criticism of lyrics, and note that the first verse plays the pronoun game: Failed to cry when it broke my heart
That doesn't mean it's not tearing me apartIn my 100% non-expert songwriting opinion, using nouns would give stronger lyrics: Failed to cry when you broke my heart
That doesn't mean love's not tearing me apartOf course, I've got zero number one hits, so what do I know?  Anyway, nice song - thanks for posting!
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#475157 - 05/29/18 08:01 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Tano Music]
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Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 586
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Journeyman
Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 586
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
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One of the things I liked about your song was how on the third line of your chorus you varied the melody instead of simply repeating is as most songs do. Really good guitar work, and I liked the banjo in the background.
I’m not a big fan of the la-la-la type of lyric substitution.. for my taste, I would add a different instrumental sound instead of the vocal there, but you had some nice harmonies to take advantage of that approach. Also, I would have taken it out with a fade..maybe you didn’t intend to leave that little ending segment in there..
Thanks for sharing! Hey Tano, Thanks for the comments. I'm generally not a big la-la fan either, but my co-writer liked it... so it stayed. You are correct that I didn't mean to leave the ending segment, should have been a complete fade. Nice write, arrangement and vocal/guitar performances.... We enjoyed the listen! J&B PS Cool guitar names Thank you J&B. I appreciate the listen. I also have an archtop named... of course, Archie. It's a very cool collaboration.
Nice BIAB arrangement and well played addition stuff.
The only nit I would pick is that the very 1st syllable is weak in comparison to the rest of the line - that'd only take a 10 tweak to fix then you have a dead set classic 70s singer songwriter piece. Ray, Thanks for the listen & comments. Didn't really notice that weak syllable till you pointed it out. Great production on this. Very pro sound.
SD Thank you very much SD. Very cool!! Really taps into the era of music that I love. Nice write, great vocal, and top production/mix. Everything works!! Take care. Greg Thanks Greg. It's my era too.
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#475201 - 05/29/18 01:21 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Achordocaster]
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Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 2489
Veteran
Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 2489
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hi Achordocaste love this lightfoot old humble pie sixties seventies feel however modern great work greg,cathy thanks for sharing eric
_________________________
AMD (TM) 8150 3.60 GHz Eight Core Processor 64 bit windows 10 pro 64 bit os. sound card delta 1010 pci card 500 ssd drive 3 other drives guitars 1968 les Paul Custom and Cavin ae 185 Guitar boss Gt-100 pedal Carvin SRS Studio reference series
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#475233 - 05/29/18 05:29 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: Achordocaster]
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Registered: 01/28/12
Posts: 3568
Loc: Murgon Queensland Australia
Veteran
Registered: 01/28/12
Posts: 3568
Loc: Murgon Queensland Australia
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Good song and well mixed. Sounds early seventies and that's a good thing to me.
Credit both of you.Rob.
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#476116 - 06/04/18 10:39 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 586
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Journeyman
Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 586
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
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Greg & Kathy,
A really nice song. Sounds like an old favorite...
Excellent arrangement and mix. Nice vocals and harmony.
Nice.
fj Hey Floyd, thank you so much! I really enjoyed this one. I liked the mix, chord progression, instrumentation, lyric and your vocal.
This sounded like something that I would have in my oldies collection. Thanks Mario. I'm becoming my own oldies collection.  This is a really great song. I especially enjoyed the lyrics, "I thought of kneeling down and saying a prayer. Hoping deep inside that you still care." Very strong. Thanks for sharing. My thoughts exactly. Oddly, these exact lyrics were playing out as the song was playing on SoundCloud and I was commenting. You are still one of my favorite vocalists here on the forum and I'm really getting into your melodies. Enjoyed listening. Hey Charlie, Thanks for the very nice comments. I appreciate it! Greg & Kathy,
Excellent song! Love the strong vocals and overall mix.
Really well done.
Bob Thank you so much Bob... On behalf of Kathy as well.
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