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#473261 - 05/17/18 01:31 PM [User Showcase] NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts"
Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 560
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Achordocaster Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 560
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Here's another co-write with my guitar student Kathy.

I had been messing around with the progression and played it for her. We then discussed some ideas for lyrics and within a day she e-mailed me a lyric sheet, I made some changes to some of the lyrics and then spent a day or so working on the melody... That was a month ago today.

I am enjoying the collaboration process as I haven't done that for quite some time and her & I seem to work well together. (She's a lyric writing machine!) grin

All RT's are listed below. All lead guitar parts are either my Tele (Trigger) or my Strat (Tichiwa), My Martin (Dean) has a strumming track too. I'm doing all the vocals as well.

As always all comments welcome.

https://soundcloud.com/user-813802595/second-thoughts

RD NashBrushBalDbkEv16^1
RT 1825 Bass
RT 368 Guitar Acoustic Strumming
RT 1595 Guitar Acoustic Fingerpicking
RT 1035 Banjo
RT 1602 Piano
RT 1805 Synth Pad


©2018 Greg Achord & Kathy Clifford

Second Thoughts


Never felt like looking back before
Always knew it was you I do adore

Failed to cry when it broke my heart
That doesn't mean it's not tearing me apart

A second guess it can cause a near miss
All I think about is our first kiss

(Chorus)
You can’t fake this…I’ve already tried
Like goosebumps on the arm…Impossible to hide
You can’t fake this…I’ve already tried
Like a breeze on a summer day…Impossible to ride

I thought of kneeling down and saying a prayer
Hoping deep inside that you still care

A moment passed never thought of again
Is It too late have we lost what might have been

I keep lookin' back cause I think there's a chance
Could there still be fire in this romance

(Chorus)

Ending
La la la…la la la la la….la la la….la la la la la
La la la…la la la la la….la la la….la la la la la
La la la…la la la la la….la la la….la la la la la
La la la…la la la la la….la la la….la la la la la

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#473263 - 05/17/18 01:41 PM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2435
Loc: Victoria, BC
Ember - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2435
Loc: Victoria, BC
This is a really great song. I especially enjoyed the lyrics, "I thought of kneeling down and saying a prayer. Hoping deep inside that you still care." Very strong. Thanks for sharing.
_________________________
Cheers,
Ember

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#473305 - 05/17/18 08:34 PM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 879
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 879
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Achordocaster,

Great opening, and nice work on the vocals. Love the second verse; great lines. And equally, nice lines in that chorus. Really well done collaboration. Enjoyed my listen a ton!

Best regards,

Deej

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#473575 - 05/19/18 12:35 PM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5462
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5462
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Very cool song Greg. Guitar was excellent. Loved the lyrics and excellent delivery. Super co-write.

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#473590 - 05/19/18 03:18 PM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 01/18/16
Posts: 1664
Joe -PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 01/18/16
Posts: 1664
Thanks for sharing this with us Achordocaster! I really enjoyed the progression. The banjo is a great touch and overall very pleasant to listen to. Well done!
_________________________
Cheers,
Joe

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#473661 - 05/20/18 06:29 AM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1487
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Tano Music Online   content
Expert

Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1487
Loc: Charlotte, NC
One of the things I liked about your song was how on the third line of your chorus you varied the melody instead of simply repeating is as most songs do. Really good guitar work, and I liked the banjo in the background.

I’m not a big fan of the la-la-la type of lyric substitution.. for my taste, I would add a different instrumental sound instead of the vocal there, but you had some nice harmonies to take advantage of that approach. Also, I would have taken it out with a fade..maybe you didn’t intend to leave that little ending segment in there..

Thanks for sharing!

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#473667 - 05/20/18 08:34 AM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 9803
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 9803
Loc: GA USA
Nice write, arrangement and vocal/guitar performances....

We enjoyed the listen!

J&B

PS Cool guitar names smile

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#473740 - 05/20/18 10:14 PM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Ember - PG Music]
Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 560
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Achordocaster Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 560
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Originally Posted By: Ember - PG Music
This is a really great song. I especially enjoyed the lyrics, "I thought of kneeling down and saying a prayer. Hoping deep inside that you still care." Very strong. Thanks for sharing.


Thank you Ember that's very nice. I appreciate the listen


Originally Posted By: Deej56
Achordocaster,

Great opening, and nice work on the vocals. Love the second verse; great lines. And equally, nice lines in that chorus. Really well done collaboration. Enjoyed my listen a ton!

Best regards,

Deej


Hey Deej, Thanks for the kind words & the listen.


Originally Posted By: Scott C
Very cool song Greg. Guitar was excellent. Loved the lyrics and excellent delivery. Super co-write.


Thanks Scott, appreciate it. On behalf of Kathy too.


Originally Posted By: Joe -PG Music
Thanks for sharing this with us Achordocaster! I really enjoyed the progression. The banjo is a great touch and overall very pleasant to listen to. Well done!


Your welcome Joe, and thanks for the listen. I'm quite fond of using a little banjo in the background. grin

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#473748 - 05/20/18 11:39 PM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 2723
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
rayc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 2723
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
It's a very cool collaboration.
Nice BIAB arrangement and well played addition stuff.
The only nit I would pick is that the very 1st syllable is weak in comparison to the rest of the line - that'd only take a 10 tweak to fix then you have a dead set classic 70s singer songwriter piece.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

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#473891 - 05/22/18 10:57 AM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1010
Loc: Maryland
SpaceDog Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 1010
Loc: Maryland
Great production on this. Very pro sound.
SD

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#474137 - 05/23/18 11:45 AM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6064
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6064
Loc: Davis, CA
Very cool!! Really taps into the era of music that I love. Nice write, great vocal, and top production/mix. Everything works!! Take care. Greg

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#474647 - 05/26/18 02:48 PM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8933
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8933
Loc: Florida
Greg & Kathy,

A really nice song. Sounds like an old favorite...

Excellent arrangement and mix. Nice vocals and harmony.

Nice.

fj

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#474695 - 05/26/18 05:00 PM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 14809
Loc: Hamlin NY
MarioD Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 14809
Loc: Hamlin NY
I really enjoyed this one. I liked the mix, chord progression, instrumentation, lyric and your vocal.

This sounded like something that I would have in my oldies collection.
_________________________
I just paid for a 12 month membership to a gym. My bank called to see if my credit card was stolen.

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#474719 - 05/26/18 06:38 PM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Ember - PG Music]
Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 6085
Loc: South Carolina
Charlie Fogle Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/07/13
Posts: 6085
Loc: South Carolina
Originally Posted By: Ember - PG Music
This is a really great song. I especially enjoyed the lyrics, "I thought of kneeling down and saying a prayer. Hoping deep inside that you still care." Very strong. Thanks for sharing.


My thoughts exactly. Oddly, these exact lyrics were playing out as the song was playing on SoundCloud and I was commenting.

You are still one of my favorite vocalists here on the forum and I'm really getting into your melodies.

Enjoyed listening.
_________________________
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2021:RB 2021, Latest builds: Dell AIO; Windows-10-64 bit, AMD A9 Processor and 16 GB Ram Memory.

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#474974 - 05/28/18 11:24 AM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4440
Loc: New York
rsdean Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4440
Loc: New York
Greg & Kathy,

Excellent song! Love the strong vocals and overall mix.

Really well done.

Bob
_________________________
SoundCloud Tracks


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#475049 - 05/28/18 04:38 PM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 3736
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
Veteran

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 3736
Loc: Sacramento, California
I enjoyed the listen. The song has a strong Gordon Lightfoot vibe, both in your vocal delivery, the chord changes, and the guitars. That's a good thing.

Since you said all comments are welcome, I'll stupidly broach the usually taboo criticism of lyrics, and note that the first verse plays the pronoun game:

Failed to cry when it broke my heart
That doesn't mean it's not tearing me apart


In my 100% non-expert songwriting opinion, using nouns would give stronger lyrics:

Failed to cry when you broke my heart
That doesn't mean love's not tearing me apart


Of course, I've got zero number one hits, so what do I know? laugh

Anyway, nice song - thanks for posting!
_________________________
-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#475157 - 05/29/18 08:01 AM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Tano Music]
Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 560
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Achordocaster Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 560
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Originally Posted By: Tano Music
One of the things I liked about your song was how on the third line of your chorus you varied the melody instead of simply repeating is as most songs do. Really good guitar work, and I liked the banjo in the background.

I’m not a big fan of the la-la-la type of lyric substitution.. for my taste, I would add a different instrumental sound instead of the vocal there, but you had some nice harmonies to take advantage of that approach. Also, I would have taken it out with a fade..maybe you didn’t intend to leave that little ending segment in there..

Thanks for sharing!


Hey Tano, Thanks for the comments. I'm generally not a big la-la fan either, but my co-writer liked it... so it stayed. You are correct that I didn't mean to leave the ending segment, should have been a complete fade.


Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
Nice write, arrangement and vocal/guitar performances....

We enjoyed the listen!

J&B

PS Cool guitar names smile


Thank you J&B. I appreciate the listen. I also have an archtop named... of course, Archie.


Originally Posted By: rayc
It's a very cool collaboration.
Nice BIAB arrangement and well played addition stuff.
The only nit I would pick is that the very 1st syllable is weak in comparison to the rest of the line - that'd only take a 10 tweak to fix then you have a dead set classic 70s singer songwriter piece.


Ray, Thanks for the listen & comments. Didn't really notice that weak syllable till you pointed it out.


Originally Posted By: SpaceDog
Great production on this. Very pro sound.
SD


Thank you very much SD.


Originally Posted By: Greg Johnson
Very cool!! Really taps into the era of music that I love. Nice write, great vocal, and top production/mix. Everything works!! Take care. Greg


Thanks Greg. It's my era too.

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#475201 - 05/29/18 01:21 PM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 2050
F.M.M. Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 2050
hi Achordocaste love this lightfoot old humble pie sixties seventies feel however modern great work greg,cathy thanks for sharing eric
_________________________
AMD (TM) 8150 3.60 GHz Eight Core Processor 64 bit windows 10 pro 64 bit os. sound card delta 1010 pci card 500 ssd drive 3 other drives guitars 1968 les Paul Custom and Cavin ae 185 Guitar boss Gt-100 pedal Carvin SRS Studio reference series

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#475233 - 05/29/18 05:29 PM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: Achordocaster]
Registered: 01/28/12
Posts: 3221
Loc: Murgon Queensland Australia
Rob4580 Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 01/28/12
Posts: 3221
Loc: Murgon Queensland Australia
Good song and well mixed. Sounds early seventies and that's a good thing to me.
Credit both of you.Rob.

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#476116 - 06/04/18 10:39 AM [User Showcase] Re: NEW Original Song "Second Thoughts" [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 560
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Achordocaster Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 02/11/10
Posts: 560
Loc: Grand Junction, Colorado USA
Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Greg & Kathy,

A really nice song. Sounds like an old favorite...

Excellent arrangement and mix. Nice vocals and harmony.

Nice.

fj



Hey Floyd, thank you so much!


Originally Posted By: MarioD
I really enjoyed this one. I liked the mix, chord progression, instrumentation, lyric and your vocal.

This sounded like something that I would have in my oldies collection.



Thanks Mario. I'm becoming my own oldies collection. wink



Originally Posted By: Charlie Fogle
Originally Posted By: Ember - PG Music
This is a really great song. I especially enjoyed the lyrics, "I thought of kneeling down and saying a prayer. Hoping deep inside that you still care." Very strong. Thanks for sharing.


My thoughts exactly. Oddly, these exact lyrics were playing out as the song was playing on SoundCloud and I was commenting.

You are still one of my favorite vocalists here on the forum and I'm really getting into your melodies.

Enjoyed listening.



Hey Charlie, Thanks for the very nice comments. I appreciate it!



Originally Posted By: rsdean
Greg & Kathy,

Excellent song! Love the strong vocals and overall mix.

Really well done.

Bob



Thank you so much Bob... On behalf of Kathy as well.

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