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#483821 - 07/29/18 05:55 AM [User Showcase] Listening to the Rain with Deanna Sweidel
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2633
Loc: South Africa
JoanneCooper Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2633
Loc: South Africa
Hi all

Here is a co-write I did for 50 90 with Deanna Sweidel.

LISTENING TO THE RAIN

Deanna is a newcomer to the 50 90 community and is blowing everyone away with her wonderful lyrics. She has already churned out over 50 lyrics since we started the challenge in mid July. I hope to set some more of her lovely lyrics to music before the three months is over.

RealTracks
RealTracks in style: ~518:Bass, Electric, Pop HalfNotes Ev 085
RealTracks in style: ~365:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Ev 085
RealTracks in style: ~362:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Ev 085
RealTracks in style: ~363:Pedal Steel, Background Ev 085
RealDrums in style: NashvilleEven8^6-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, HiHat Open
RT409:Fiddle, Background George Ev 085
RT2854:Harmonica, Background CountryBalladJellyRoll Ev 085
RT3020: Ooohs and aaahs
RT3017: Ooohs and aahs

Lyrics:
Your blue eyes so mesmerising
Keeping me wide awake
Listening to the rain
and tryin’
tryin to
control the ache
The conversation is dwindling
there's not much left to say
Listening to the rain
its tellin’
tellin' me
you’ll go away
CH
And now I’ll hate
hate the rain
It’s soothing sound
now remiss
It forever will remind me
Of the night
of our last kiss
My eyes blinded awash with tears
Keeping me wide awake
Listening to the rain
Reviewing
reviewing all
of our mistakes
Now The conversation’s over
There’s nothing else left to do
Listening to the rain
it's tellin’
tellin' me
I’m losing you
CH
And now I’ll hate
hate the rain
It’s soothing sound
now remiss
It forever will remind me
Of the night
of our last kiss
Our eyes lock once again
Our lips meet one last time
You walk out into the rain
With a heart forever mine

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#483836 - 07/29/18 08:55 AM [User Showcase] Re: Listening to the Rain with Deanna Sweidel [Re: JoanneCooper]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 3618
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
Veteran

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 3618
Loc: Sacramento, California
I had a brief moment of confusion when the song started with only one channel playing. It got my attention! You do a lot of L/R panning, and I liked most of it, but the "Aaahs" in the right ear were a bit loud on the right side... Assuming I have my headphones on correctly! wink

Anyway, nicely sung, great arrangement, nice harmonies, excellent mix. It deserves a few more kudos, but I'm all out of superlatives.

The arrangement has some great stuff in it, and it's all very clear in the mix. There's brilliant wordsmithing, with interesting words: "remiss", "awash" and "reviewing."

You might want to rethink this lyric, though:

You walk out into the rain / With a heart forever mine

The object of the singer's desire is literally walking away forever, taking their heart with them:

You walk out into the rain / With your heart no longer mine

That is, the singer may forever desire the other person's heart, but that heart no longer owned by them. Ownership of the heart is given by the desired, not the one doing the desiring.

Really, really nice! laugh
_________________________
-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#483842 - 07/29/18 10:15 AM [User Showcase] Re: Listening to the Rain with Deanna Sweidel [Re: JoanneCooper]
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 2891
Robertkc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 2891
Joanne,

A very good classic country ballad. All sounding right in the arrangement and your vocals make already memorable lyrics shine.
Nice oohs & aahs too.

Robert

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#483881 - 07/29/18 03:20 PM [User Showcase] Re: Listening to the Rain with Deanna Sweidel [Re: JoanneCooper]
Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2361
Loc: Victoria, BC
Ember - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2361
Loc: Victoria, BC
What a beautiful song, Joanne! Radio ready, I believe! I know you didn't do these particular lyrics but I just wanted to say that Deanna Sweidel is a phenomenal lyricist. grin Awesome stuff!
_________________________
Cheers,
Ember

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#483892 - 07/29/18 04:36 PM [User Showcase] Re: Listening to the Rain with Deanna Sweidel [Re: JoanneCooper]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5244
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5244
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Awesome tune Joanne. Lovely backtrack and super vocal and lyric. Well done

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#483915 - 07/29/18 11:06 PM [User Showcase] Re: Listening to the Rain with Deanna Sweidel [Re: JoanneCooper]
Registered: 05/11/15
Posts: 2059
Loc: Aichi, Japan
animarorecords Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/11/15
Posts: 2059
Loc: Aichi, Japan
Hello, Joanne

Very good country ballad!
Your vocal really fits this kind of love song.
I also like the lyrics.
And I also would like to attach my songs to them instinctively.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi

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#483948 - 07/30/18 07:12 AM [User Showcase] Re: Listening to the Rain with Deanna Sweidel [Re: JoanneCooper]
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3304
Deryk - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3304
What a tune! You did an outstanding job here. The mix is superb, and it sounds really professional. That aside, the vocal performance here is stunning and the hook is beautiful and just the right level of catchy. The harmonies on this tune are incredible too!

You should be proud of this one - great work, and thanks for sharing smile
_________________________
Cheers,
Deryk

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