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#485466 - 08/11/18 08:57 PM [User Showcase] Love Walked Back Through The Door
Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
GocartMoz Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
Hello all,

Still finding my way through BIAB. This is my second fully produced song in Band In A Box. Thx for the ears and any feedback you can offer. Still planning on adding some backup vocals, but no ideas have hit me yet.

LOVE WALKED BACK THROUGH THE DOOR
(c)2018 David S. Becker Music

https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/love-walked-back-through-the-door

INTRO
VERSE 1

She said she was leaving
And that it was over
I watched her as she walked out that door
It scared me sober

VERSE 2
Six months later I walked out of rehab
I phoned in a table for two
I sat alone at that table all night
There's nothing I can do

CHORUS
Cause love doesn't live here no more
My love walked out my own front door
I'm serving/doing time for the sins in my past
Love doesn't live here no more

VERSE 3
I phoned up my children
And I left them a message
"Please call back I need to be in your lives"
"I need to fix this wreckage"

CHORUS
BRIDGE

(Stop)
It's a never ending battle I wage
(Think)
Every time I turn the page
(Remember)
I can lose everything that I love
Over and over again

SOLO
VERSE 4

Three years sober
Three chips I proudly embrace
I met an angel who has captured my heart
My children share her face

CHORUS 2 x 2

Cause love walked back through the door
I spend each day with a girl I adore
I served/did my time I remember my past
I pray that this time love will last (x3)

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#485504 - 08/11/18 11:36 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: GocartMoz]
Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4087
Loc: Sydney Australia
PeterF Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 4087
Loc: Sydney Australia
David

A really nice sophisticated pro sounding tune, well mixed and performed - sounds like you have a pretty good grasp of Band In A Box already.

Peter

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#485531 - 08/12/18 06:26 AM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: GocartMoz]
Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 5191
Loc: North Carolina
David Snyder Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 5191
Loc: North Carolina
Dear Gocart,

You asked for feedback and I will give it, though I hope it is what you want to hear, as an enthusiast.

First, if you put the style and real tracks you using it is easier to comment on sound and make suggestions that might be helpful.

This is a GREAT song. Love it. Great construction, good vocals, moves right along, great energy, compelling. Super job.

Mix:

There is some kinda preset you are using that is making this WAY too hot and brittle.

Since I don't know what tracks you are using, I can't say, but here is the basic gist:

Many real tracks such as guitars and stuff have effects already on them unless you are using the Direct Input (DI Versions).

When you start to add effects on effects in the tracks in the mix strip, things can get weird real fast.

Most of the real tracks as they are (if the effects are already there) need very gentle EQ. Drums need to be doubled or tripled to bring out the kick, tom, and highlight snares in each track.

The basses always need eq'ing. Drums and bass will take a while.

When you move to the master bus, be really careful with presets in tools like Ozone that say "CD mix"--generally speaking these presets will make stuff way too harsh. Use master bus settings on things like Ozone that have the minimal impact and add your own EQ from EQ strips. Be super careful with "maximizers."

This is the best free tool I have seen to increase the volume without killing the mix.

https://www.kvraudio.com/product/limiter-no6-by-vladg-sound



Look at your meters.

Your LUFS should be about 14 and your dynamic range should be about 11-12.

So, again, great song, and sounds like a good mix that has some really harsh presets on the master bus.
_________________________
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Audiophile Everything + Studio + Instruments + Fingers
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#485547 - 08/12/18 10:10 AM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: GocartMoz]
Registered: 08/04/10
Posts: 2062
Loc: Midwest
HearToLearn Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/04/10
Posts: 2062
Loc: Midwest
Wow! If I didn't say it earlier, welcome! You will be a great addition to the forum with songs like that. So awesomely jazzy!

Quote:
It scared me sober


Great and powerful line that sets up the rest of the song. Nice lyrics!

Cool song. Keep 'em coming please!
_________________________
C.Aaron Madison
I often get asked how to pronounce my name.
"Ma-Duh-Sn" J/K wink
As people have left the "." out so many times, "Caaron" has become the norm of it. Still said as the "." was there though. smile


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#485588 - 08/12/18 04:19 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: GocartMoz]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5667
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5667
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Wow I really liked this song. Excellent backtrack. Bass line is really cool. Super vocal and lyric. Well done.

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#485617 - 08/12/18 05:57 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: GocartMoz]
Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 15246
Loc: Hamlin NY
MarioD Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 15246
Loc: Hamlin NY
David I really liked this song. Your lyrics are great as was you vocal. Your backing tracks were very good also.

To nitpick there is something about the mix that takes this song down a notch. As Dave Snyder said maybe it needs warming up. I found the treble to be a little over the top but that may be just me. Sorry that I can't be more help.

Regardless this is a very good song as is.
_________________________
I'm the best man at my buddy's second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with "Welcome back Everyone"?

64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB and RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software and some hardware.

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#485671 - 08/13/18 10:35 AM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: GocartMoz]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9156
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9156
Loc: Florida
Dave,

A cool, breezy, jazzy rock sound/feel. Nice use of the BAND.

An interesting story line, nicely done.

I would agree that the high end (EQ) could be knocked down - on the vocal mostly... a bit on the drum track. I like the crispness of the others instruments, so I think warming the vocal up would make it all work together. And adding some harmonies in the choruses.

This is surprisingly catchy. I'm still singing along in my head...

fj

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#485684 - 08/13/18 12:12 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: GocartMoz]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6218
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6218
Loc: Davis, CA
Hello and welcome to the forum!! This is really good! Very well put together. It is unusual to put such a deep lyric to a happy smooth jazz feel but I think it works. I'm not listening on a good playback system but it sounded maybe a little sizzly. I have a lot of problem taming treble myself. Great to hear this fine tune.....come back soon!! Take care. Greg

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#485698 - 08/13/18 12:51 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: GocartMoz]
Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2493
Loc: Victoria, BC
Ember - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2493
Loc: Victoria, BC
I really like the flow of this song! Wonderful job. Thanks for sharing.
_________________________
Cheers,
Ember

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#485771 - 08/14/18 05:42 AM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: GocartMoz]
Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1520
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Tano Music Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1520
Loc: Charlotte, NC
David, excellent work! Not sure if you did this intentionally, but it sound like the minor-key mood embraced your lyric as it talked about troubles, but then the harmonic background switched to a brighter, major key as you talked about the good to come--really insightful, I thought. Same switch seemed to occur with the jazzy/edgy mood of the style moving to a comfortable pop-type mood. Excellent production and really great use of the elements of BIAB!

In terms of feedback:
on the lyric "I walked out of rehab"..the melody forces an unnatural syllable emphasis..better I think would be something like "I left rehab for good".

I like "doing time" better than "serving time"..the first part of "serv" is not as smooth-sounding as "do".

I really don't like the work "wreck" used anywhere (Amazing Grace is ruined, I think, with the use of that word in the lyric), but I love how you paired 'message' with 'wreckage'.

Excellent design with the "stop/think/remember" calls!

I sense that this song is highly true to your personal story..that is great; however, I think that, for the benefit of the song's best design, sometimes you (we) need to flex the story a bit. I'm thinking about your line about the 'chips'..I know how important that statement is, but I also think that "chips" is another awkward work to the ear, and I would look to modify that line with something that brings the same meaning, but uses words that are, again, smoother-sounding.

Like how you changed the rhyme scheme at the end so that lines 1+2 worked together and that let you marry up 3+4, thereby making your 'final message' resound more strongly.

Just my thoughts.

Great work!

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#485772 - 08/14/18 06:20 AM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: GocartMoz]
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Deryk - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Really nice work smile It is so smooth, and has a really authentic modern feeling to it. Some really stunning and relatable lyrics as well. That aside, the groove is great and your vocals are on point.

Wonderful job on this one - thanks for sharing!
_________________________
Cheers,
Deryk

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#485790 - 08/14/18 09:15 AM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: GocartMoz]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10166
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10166
Loc: GA USA
Just listening to song in totality...we really like the write, the vocal and the arrangement. It's a very cool vibe. The lyric is very poignant but that's life. And we like songs that reflect all aspects of it.

I agree after several listens with floyd's notion that it's mostly the vocal contributing to the high end feel that folks have alluded to.

Regarding the drums I used to go through all kinds of hoops with RD's, e.g., doubling them, tripling them, adding a snare track, etc...and then I discovered Waves CLA Drums. $29 and I've been drum happy ever since. I use one preset with a couple of tweaks and that's it. Oh, I turn off ALL BiaB reverb on RDs and RTs and set the tone to 0.

This is a very strong song!

J&B
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#485898 - 08/14/18 09:51 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: GocartMoz]
Registered: 05/11/15
Posts: 2149
Loc: Aichi, Japan
animarorecords Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/11/15
Posts: 2149
Loc: Aichi, Japan
Hello, David

Very nice Jazzy rock tune!
I agree with Peter.
A really nice sophisticated pro sounding tune, well mixed and performed - sounds like you have a pretty good grasp of Band In A Box already.
And I thought that you were used to making songs very much.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.

Best regards.

Shigeki Adachi

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#485905 - 08/14/18 10:53 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: GocartMoz]
Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5480
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5480
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Hello David,

Cool song! This style is right up our alley. We do a lot of Smooth Jazz, Smooth R&B, EZ Funk and Jazz Rock.

Listing the BIAB tracks you used would make it somewhat easier to give more technical opinions. The drums are, perhaps, EQ's slightly too bright, but that's not a real problem for me as I like the sizzle of the cymbals, the tingle of the ride, etc. I bring out the kick by EQing it - bring up lower mids (200 - 300)and the upper bass tones (60 - 100). It works pretty good most of the time for me.

I do agree with a few others about knocking down the upper EQ on your voice. But, not a lott. I'd bring it down from slightly crackling to crisp. But, the quality of your voice is terrific! And the interpretation you gave the lyric was really cool.

All in all, I really liked it - seriously. A few touch ups and this is top shelf all the way. Good luck with it.

Best to you.

Alan


Edited by Al-David (08/15/18 08:16 PM)
_________________________
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#485986 - 08/15/18 12:08 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: GocartMoz]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17147
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17147
Loc: Australia
David,

I love this sound... so smooth and engaging! Your vocals sit very comfortably with the style as you take us on a memorable musical journey. Really nicely done!

It's definitely two thumbs up from me!

All the best,
Noel
_________________________
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#486063 - 08/15/18 09:00 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: PeterF]
Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
GocartMoz Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: PeterF
David

A really nice sophisticated pro sounding tune, well mixed and performed - sounds like you have a pretty good grasp of Band In A Box already.

Peter


Thank you Peter. I appreciate the listen and comments.

Dave

Top
#486064 - 08/15/18 09:09 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: David Snyder]
Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
GocartMoz Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: David Snyder
Dear Gocart,

You asked for feedback and I will give it, though I hope it is what you want to hear, as an enthusiast.

First, if you put the style and real tracks you using it is easier to comment on sound and make suggestions that might be helpful.

This is a GREAT song. Love it. Great construction, good vocals, moves right along, great energy, compelling. Super job.

Mix:

There is some kinda preset you are using that is making this WAY too hot and brittle.

Since I don't know what tracks you are using, I can't say, but here is the basic gist:

Many real tracks such as guitars and stuff have effects already on them unless you are using the Direct Input (DI Versions).

When you start to add effects on effects in the tracks in the mix strip, things can get weird real fast.

Most of the real tracks as they are (if the effects are already there) need very gentle EQ. Drums need to be doubled or tripled to bring out the kick, tom, and highlight snares in each track.

The basses always need eq'ing. Drums and bass will take a while.

When you move to the master bus, be really careful with presets in tools like Ozone that say "CD mix"--generally speaking these presets will make stuff way too harsh. Use master bus settings on things like Ozone that have the minimal impact and add your own EQ from EQ strips. Be super careful with "maximizers."

This is the best free tool I have seen to increase the volume without killing the mix.

https://www.kvraudio.com/product/limiter-no6-by-vladg-sound



Look at your meters.

Your LUFS should be about 14 and your dynamic range should be about 11-12.

So, again, great song, and sounds like a good mix that has some really harsh presets on the master bus.


David,

Thx for the suggestions on the mix, as well as all the comments. It is very helpful.

For whatever reason copying and pasting from the BIAB memo is giving me fits. But I will do my best to give you the rundown ...

Style - Sweet Smooth Pop Soul
100BPM in key of Dm

Bass - 2620 Funk Swing 16thsj, SW 85
Electric Piano - 906 - Electric, Rhythm SmoothCool Sw16 100
Drums - Real Drums - SouthernPopSw16^02-a.Hat, Sidestick, b ride, Snare
Solo Guitar intro - 1229Smooth Jazz Cool Sw16 100
The solo electric piano has gotten lost so I can't id it - thankfully I rendered it to audio beforehand

Anyway, thats the rundown. Thx again for the detailed critique

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#486065 - 08/15/18 09:10 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: HearToLearn]
Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
GocartMoz Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: HearToLearn
Wow! If I didn't say it earlier, welcome! You will be a great addition to the forum with songs like that. So awesomely jazzy!

Quote:
It scared me sober


Great and powerful line that sets up the rest of the song. Nice lyrics!

Cool song. Keep 'em coming please!


Thanks for the review Hear To Learn. I appreciate your welcome and very much appreciate your time and comments.

Dave

Top
#486066 - 08/15/18 09:11 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: Scott C]
Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
GocartMoz Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: Scott C
Wow I really liked this song. Excellent backtrack. Bass line is really cool. Super vocal and lyric. Well done.


Thank you much Scott. Appreciate the listen and comments. Enjoying the forum and BIAB a lot.

Dave

Top
#486067 - 08/15/18 09:12 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Walked Back Through The Door [Re: MarioD]
Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
GocartMoz Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 06/13/18
Posts: 160
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: MarioD
David I really liked this song. Your lyrics are great as was you vocal. Your backing tracks were very good also.

To nitpick there is something about the mix that takes this song down a notch. As Dave Snyder said maybe it needs warming up. I found the treble to be a little over the top but that may be just me. Sorry that I can't be more help.

Regardless this is a very good song as is.


Thank you much Mario. Appreciate your comments on the mix and your time. Very helpful.

Dave

Top
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