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Hello forum friends! One of the things I like almost as much as music is humor. I rarely mix the two....this song being a rare exception. One day I woke up and this line came into my head (title). I thought that was really weird but I decided I was just going to write and see what happened. This did. Hope you get a chuckle out of it. I'd love to hear your feedback. Take care. Greg


https://soundcloud.com/gjohnson-2/ifiwasadog
IF I WAS A DOG

If I was a dog, I’d be free as the breeze

Wanderin’ ‘round markin’ mailboxes and trees

Just one of the mutts, playing tag, sniffin’ butts

Not tryin’ to be crude, but I’d have dog attitude


If she was a dog, she’d have a fine pedigree

Spend long afternoons with the ladies at tea

Have papers that linked her to the most regal hounds

The upper of the uppermost crust to be found



We’d have no more in common than Juliet and Romeo

The scourge of the pound and the best in the show



If I had a master, he’d sleep in his van

Smoke cigarettes, drink beer straight from the can

Wear dirty T-shirts and have vulgar tattoos

Yellow teeth, uncombed hair, and wear trashy old shoes



Her master would be the quintessential success

Well-bred, educated, and impeccably dressed

And she herself, I fine dog, would be smothered in riches

And be seen at the park with the finest of [*****]

(remember, were talkin’ about dogs here)



In this protracted metaphor, you may find no surprises

But, then again, certainly one question arises

Of all the proverbial fish in the sea

What the hell is she doin’ with me?

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Greg

A lyrically clever and entertaining write. Some great metaphors and interesting and humorous throughout.
Lovely vocal (which was not a surprise) and a complimentary backing track to complete the song.
Excellent work and a fine song.

Peter

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Very good Greg! Fine vocal as always, and lots of great lines. My favorite:

"Not tryin’ to be crude, but I’d have dog attitude"

A fun listen!

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Greg,
Funny and well sung as well.
The humour & delivery is very Nilsson.
My only gripe is the link between verses & choruses - seems perfunctory - you could set up the next section with a couple of chords and a lick of the melody.
Nevertheless - nice job.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Just loved this Greg. Very much and feel good song. Another super vocal. Well done


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
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Nice simple waltz with great vocals, interesting chord progression and lush mix. Nice to get a dog's view for a change on this forum smile Reminds me of Paul McCartney.

Janne


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Hi Greg,

Simply wonderful and absolutely inspired.

I'm in awe of how you've taken an unlikely and frivolous title and
turned it into a gentle love song.

Fabulous.

ROG.

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A quintessential country love song! Loved it.


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Greg,

This is one of the best written songs that has ever been posted here.
Or anywhere.

Writing at the highest level.
Every. Single. Word.

I wanted to quote the best lines. But that would be THE ENTIRE SONG...

The simple piano/bass/strings arrangement is perfect. Your vocal is cool - it would work perfectly for a animated dog cartoon video.
(Maybe Pat Marr would do one!!)

Randy Newman should put this on his next record. (Really)

So far out of the park it ain't funny.

ZOWIE. ZOWIE. ZOWIE.

fj

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Greg,

Witty, cute and wordly wise lyrics - cool that you followed through on that idea.
I was picturing scenes from 10001 dalmations as it played- could really see this getting interest for an animated film.
Your vocal brings the meaning home & the simple arrangement works well.
Great song.

Robert

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Excellent...attempts at humor/wittiness often don't work, but this is a 'BEST IN SHOW' kind of song. Loved your vocal, fit perfectly, and the lyric construction matches the melody exactly--I take that as a sign of expert writing.

Really enjoyed it!!

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Greg, your vocals are always among the best presented here on this forum! but you have outdone yourself here! There is certainly some vivid imagery in your lyrics and I had a constant smile going the whole way with a laugh or two. You are creative sir! Someday you may consider writing another lyric (a more serious one) and use your melody here. It is absolutely beautiful!!! Great work Greg! Thanks, Torrey




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Agree with some of the above comments, This would/ should be the intro middle and finish for a nice doggy film.

Enjoyed this.


win 10 64 bit 16gb,i7 chip, ssd 500gb, m-audio air, ,Roland BK-7M, 1000,shure sm7b,sonar,acid,mixcraft, variety of plugins.Sample tank 3,Kontakt. TC Helicon Voicelive 3 2 .
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Wonderful song. Truly entertaining. A perfect lyric and masterful vocal. Nothing to complain about. This is just fantastic songwriting and a brilliant performance. Loved it

Dave

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Yes I agree wonderful. A truly wonderful song. Touching, heartfelt and poignant.

Great vocals.

Really enjoyed this one Greg.

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It sounds trite but what can possibly be added to all of the above comments!

Absolutely hilarious and yet poignant...how'd you pull that off?

WOW!!! Is this ever one to share.

J&B

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Brilliant,

brilliant lyrics

brilliant choice of style and mood

laugh out loud funny

and I really like your melodic vocal phrasing

(it's a righteous tail and not at all fishy)

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Nilsson was mentioned

I think that's a wonderful compliment

and I agree, It's so easy to imagine him doing this song

great sense of humor, very clever write

excellent vocal

a fine song, enjoyed the hell out of it!

Kenny

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Dude, you done did it.


BIAB 2021 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground
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laugh grin laugh grin laugh grin

Greg,

LOL, would be a nice Disney movie tune!

Rob and Anne-Marie (we love dogs BTW)


We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1gsdNLE7_Gy8qavoOplQow/videos
http://rnam.net/


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