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Joined: Jun 2018
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Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 160 |
This is a song I originally wrote in 2013 after I, along with members of my family, ran into some serious health battles. I have two recordings from 2013 and figured I would try to re-imagine this tune using BIAB. I decided on a very simple arrangement. I am not at my "BIAB computer," so I will have to post the backing tracks later. The Dream(c)2018 David S. Becker Music https://soundcloud.com/gocartmoz/the-dream-redux-2018Intro
Verse 1I'm walking Down a narrow road I'm carrying Such a heavy load I'm losing my breath Trying not to fall behind I'm struggling To stay within the lines Verse 2A weight it lifts No more need to fight A blast of air And a radiant light I'm for once at ease As the air it fills my lungs The pain is gone My body and mind go numb Pre-ChorusBut I can't escape This nightmare Why must I have to wake This existence I'd forsake I've survived too long In this hospice In my dream I'm set free It's where I want to be ChorusI want to go home Home There's nothing here for me But pain & misery Home I need to go home Won't someone set me free Take these shackles off of me BridgeWell I have a pulse My heart's beating I can take a breath I'm breathing But the pain is never easing And to suffer there's no meaning
Verse 3I am sleeping With a peaceful ease No bitter cold Just a soothing breeze There's a voice that's faint Screaming "stay with me" A shock to the heart Why can't they let me be Repeat Pre-chorus
Repeat Chorus
Outro
Last edited by GocartMoz; 08/25/18 02:10 AM.
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,113
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Joined: Nov 2007
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A very powerful and moving song!
Simple arrangement is perfect IMHO, anything else would get in the way.
Nicely done!
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Joined: Dec 2011
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Joined: Dec 2011
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That'll rip the paint off your heart.
Very moving and the perfect backup to support the moving vocal and lyric.
We are with Dave that anymore, arrangement wise, would not add anything.
Great work!
J&B
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Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 3,414
PG Music Staff
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PG Music Staff
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 3,414 |
Really well done  Very moving, and imply put - it is beautiful. You can feel the sincerity in your voice and lyrics. It is perfectly catchy as well, and very well produced. Great work and thanks for sharing!
Cheers,
Deryk
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Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 160
Apprentice
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Apprentice
Joined: Jun 2018
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A very powerful and moving song!
Simple arrangement is perfect IMHO, anything else would get in the way.
Nicely done! Thank you for the listen and comments. It is greatly appreciated. Dave
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Posts: 1,664
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PG Music Staff
Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,664 |
Hi GocartMoz, Thanks for sharing this with us! I found this very easy to listen to and has a pleasant chord structure. Great work on the guitars. Nice work on the vocals too, especially at the bridge. Well done!
Cheers,
Joe
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What a nice song! Full of emotional heartfelt lyrics and performance! Great vocal! Thanks, Torrey
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Joined: Jun 2018
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Apprentice
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Apprentice
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That'll rip the paint off your heart.
Very moving and the perfect backup to support the moving vocal and lyric.
We are with Dave that anymore, arrangement wise, would not add anything.
Great work!
J&B Hey J & B , Always appreciate hearing your thoughts. Thanks much for giving this a listen and commenting. Dave
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Joined: Dec 2012
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What a terrific, although, poignant song. The simplicity of the background tracks is the perfect complement to the straightforward lyric. Everything about this powerful and compellinmg. Best to you and yours.
Alan
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*16GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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Dave,
A very powerful write and a very powerful performance and presentation.
The piano/organ combination works really well for this. Nice production and mix. The "touch of fiddle", works well, too...
Seems like you have quickly "gotten comfortable" with the BAND!
Well done.
fj
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A strong and emotional write, great performance
Florida is well represented on these forums by
really good songwriters!
I love the sparse backing, it's my "go to" very often
good storytelling, it put me in the "Lord save me from this fate"
frame of mind.
Kenny
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Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 160
Apprentice
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Apprentice
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 160 |
Really well done Very moving, and imply put - it is beautiful. You can feel the sincerity in your voice and lyrics. It is perfectly catchy as well, and very well produced. Great work and thanks for sharing! Thank you Derek, I appreciate the comments. Dave
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Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 160
Apprentice
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Posts: 160 |
Hi GocartMoz, Thanks for sharing this with us! I found this very easy to listen to and has a pleasant chord structure. Great work on the guitars. Nice work on the vocals too, especially at the bridge. Well done! Thx for the listen. Interestingly though there is no guitar in this recording. I originally included some acoustic tracks with me playing, but decided to nix them as I wanted to keep it sparse. Appreciate the listen. Thanks, Dave
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Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 160
Apprentice
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Apprentice
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 160 |
What a nice song! Full of emotional heartfelt lyrics and performance! Great vocal! Thanks, Torrey Thank you Torrey. I appreciate your thoughts. Dave
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A remarkable song Dave, incredibly moving, sincere and so well put together.
Well done my friend.
John
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User Showcase
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Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 160
Apprentice
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OP
Apprentice
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 160 |
What a terrific, although, poignant song. The simplicity of the background tracks is the perfect complement to the straightforward lyric. Everything about this powerful and compellinmg. Best to you and yours.
Alan Thank you Alan. I appreciate your time listening and commenting. Dave
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David,
This is very moving... I love the song and performance. Some very fine production here as well.
Bob
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POWERFUL, riveting, passionate!!! Beautifully done. I would not change a thing about this. BTW, is the piano an RT? I'd like to check that one out. My mom is 87 and this pretty much describes her life. It is difficult to watch. Fortunately her pain is relatively mild most of the time but there is so little there for her that I wonder how she pushes on. GREAT work here!! Take care. Greg
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Expert
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Expert
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Your vocal is filled with emotion! Wonderful choice of instruments and arrangement!
very much enjoyed!
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Well that was a powerful and sad song. Really nicely produced written and performed.
A strong composition.
Peter
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Update Your PowerTracks Pro Audio 2024 Today!
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A few excerpts:
"The Tracks view is possibly the single most powerful addition in 2024 and opens up a new way to edit and generate accompaniments. Combined with the new MultiPicker Library Window, it makes BIAB nearly perfect as an 'intelligent' composer/arranger program."
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