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#501054 - 11/12/18 11:32 PM [User Showcase] Love Goes
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Hi, all:

It seems the more I play with this one, the worse I think I make it. This is remix 3000, or so it feels. I'm gonna let it go and count on all your collective sage wisdom to guide me. Thanks in advance for the listen and your kind feedback.

My best to all of you,

Deej

Love Goes (Revised)

It’s not your fault, I know;
but I can read the writing in your eyes— so you know.
It really shouldn’t come as a surprise.
It just shows even all the best things fall apart,
however hard you try.
And I wonder where it goes—
how love comes to your heart
then disappears.

Restless hearts, restless minds;
say goodbye to what we’ll leave behind.
Reckless thoughts, reckless words—
maybe time will finally heal the hurt.
(Who knows where love goes?)

It’s not my choice to leave;
and I can hear your voice sound like a symphony,
playing sweet upon my doubts and empathy—
it’s a melody you’ve played before
to bring me to my knees,
but not anymore,
and so, darling, can’t we please
just let this go.

Restless hearts, restless minds;
say goodbye to what we’ll leave behind.
Reckless thoughts, reckless words—
maybe time will finally heal the hurt.
(Who knows where love goes?)

Too late to turn the hands of time,
to undo what was said,
to undo what we’ve done;
a song can’t be unsung—
no, our time has run.

Restless hearts, restless minds;
say goodbye to what we’ll leave behind.
Reckless thoughts, reckless words;
maybe time will finally heal the hurt.
(Who knows where love goes?)

2018(c)DJ Lekich

Here's the "band":

Drums: Real Drums, Nashville Even 8^6 high hat
Bass: Real 518 Bass, Electric Pop Half Notes, ev 085
Piano 1: Real 891, Acoustic, Solo Accompaniment Pop Liverpool ev 065
Piano 2: Real 831, Acoustic, Solo Accompaniment Waltz Slow ev 085
Piano 3: Real 1006, Acoustic, Solo Accompaniment Pop California ev 085
Guitar: Real 368, Acoustic strumming ev 065
Strings: Midi, ST 2521 String quartet, Rhythm pop ev 085



Edited by Deej56 (11/13/18 06:30 PM)

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#501056 - 11/13/18 12:15 AM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1368
Tangmo Offline
Expert

Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1368
Strong lyric, stronger vocal. Change nothing about that.

The longer the song went, the better it got with the addition of harmony and strings. But I think the beginning could use some love as well. I was lost as to the "structure" of the song until those bits of extra production helped carve it out. I could suggest cello, background electric guitar, pads of some sort in turns to further delineate the "sections" of the song. Perhaps some holds at the ends of the sections might work well too.

Actually, the more I hear of piano chording real-tracks, the more I think they can really be helped along by something "underneath" and maybe a bit more reverb to help "humanize" them.

Don't know how sage that wisdom is, or even if it's wisdom at all. But there it is.
_________________________
BIAB 2021 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground

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#501089 - 11/13/18 08:07 AM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10305
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10305
Loc: Florida
Deej,

A nice melody, particularly the chorus.

A strong vocal (as Tangmo noted). I think you could roll off some of the high EQ to give it a little warmth.

I can't hear the bass at all. Bringing that up will help with the structure that Tangmo mentioned. The drums are really buried, too - can only hear them between the section - like they completely drop out the rest of the time. The strings at the end are nice.

fj

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#501175 - 11/13/18 06:26 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Tangmo]
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Thanks, Tangmo, appreciate the listen and kind words on the vocal and lyrics. Production is still new to me, so it's often hit and miss. Floyd provided some additional suggestions and I'm going to start there, and have. I've linked up to a new version of the song. I've probably made it worse, but for what it's worth . . .

All the best,

Deej

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#501177 - 11/13/18 06:28 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Floyd,

Thanks for the comments and feedback--all great suggestions. I've tried to incorporate them in a new version, which I've hopefully linked to above. Not sure it makes it much better, but hopefully a step in the right direction.

Hope all is well in your world.

Deej

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#501184 - 11/13/18 07:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 3823
Rustyspoon# Offline
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Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 3823
Enjoyed much!
Your vocal delivery on the last couple of songs reminded me of Vaughn Monroe-Riders in the Sky.

Misha.

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#501198 - 11/13/18 10:28 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1368
Tangmo Offline
Expert

Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1368
This was better with simply the rhythm section getting raised as per Floyd's suggestion. That's definitely the direction to go, I think.
_________________________
BIAB 2021 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground

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#501201 - 11/13/18 11:21 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5980
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Al-David Offline
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Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5980
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Hi Deej,

Very pretty song. Lots of emotion in both the lyric and vocal delivery. I didn't hear before you made a few adjustments, so I can comment only on this version.

I think it's pretty strong. I think the drums could come up yet some more. And when the strings came in, the song really soared. perhaps bring them in a but earlier?

Regardless, I really enjoyed it. Nice all around work.

Wishing you the very best.

Alan
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#501259 - 11/14/18 09:13 AM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 01/18/16
Posts: 1664
Joe -PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 01/18/16
Posts: 1664
Hello Deej56, I really enjoyed the overall tone of this. This is beautiful and a solid key signature choice too. That piano is gorgeous! Very captivating lyrics. Great work!
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Cheers,
Joe

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#501371 - 11/15/18 03:53 AM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 6719
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
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Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 6719
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Really enjoyed your vocal. You have a unique voice in a good way. Well done..

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#501391 - 11/15/18 05:38 AM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1520
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Tano Music Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1520
Loc: Charlotte, NC
DJ: Sounds right-on to me! Not sure what you are fiddling with...melody/lyric? Production mix? I like it as it is.

If you're looking for suggestions, here's what I would do a little differently:

Add some movement to the 2nd verse: I think that, in a slow ballad like this, where you have verses that repeat melodically, it's a good idea to build up the arrangement--first time through: simple and basic, 2nd time thru: add a component--maybe more drum, strings..just an idea.

Just my slant on things, but I don't think you need to 're-mix' more than this!

Thanks for sharing your work!

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#501419 - 11/15/18 07:25 AM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 4391
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 4391
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Lots of passion happening with your vocal, I like it! It's especially good once you add the second vocal in there.

Didn't hear your original mix, but this one sounds pretty good to me.

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#501422 - 11/15/18 07:40 AM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 11932
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
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Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 11932
Loc: GA USA
We like it! We are always in for a soulful vocal irrespective of the genre.

It sounds really good on our monitors. One minor consideration (and only since you asked). Since the piano RT's are stereo and given that the lower end of the keyboard tends to the left and the upper to the right panning the track close to center often sounds good - particularly if the piano is up in the mix (floyd first made me aware of this several years ago). But there is no "wrong" or "right" where you put it - just opinions smile

The strings are nice, the vocal is distinctive and strong and the write is very poignant.

Well done!

J&B


Edited by Janice & Bud (11/16/18 02:38 PM)
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#501426 - 11/15/18 07:57 AM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2426
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
Skyline Offline
Veteran

Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2426
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
Hi DJ. This is a good song with nice changes and a good arrangement, and sung with a lot of passion.

Possible improvements, (caveat: how I mix a song is personal to me, and how I like to balance instruments and voices!)
- I felt the title should be "Restless Hearts", which is the pay-off first line of the choruses.
- The passion in the vocal has made it strident and 'shouty' in places and too forward in the mix, I'd EQ down some of the upper mids to make the tone warmer and also lower the volume a tad.
- I could hardly hear the drums at all, they need to come up, also the strumming guitar part is similarly too low in the mix.

I hope that's of some help, and thanks for letting us hear this one!

John
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#501438 - 11/15/18 08:20 AM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Deryk - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
I personally found this rendition to be really stunning. I definitely don't think you need to further mix this smile The vocals and strong and memorable, and the entire tune has an aura of beautiful sincerity. I absolutely loved the slow build up near the end in it too.

You should be proud of this one - thanks for sharing!
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Cheers,
Deryk

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#501700 - 11/16/18 02:28 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6613
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6613
Loc: Davis, CA
Wonderful emotion and passion here!! Some really nice lines in there. Wonderful, soulful vocal! Really nicely done!! Take care. Greg

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#501762 - 11/16/18 11:33 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Rusty,

Thank you kindly. I’m not familiar with Vaughn Monroe, but I’ll definitely check him out. Appreciate the listen.

Kind regards,

Deej

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#501763 - 11/16/18 11:34 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Tangmo]
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Tangmo,

Thanks—Floyd’s suggestions are usually spot on. Following the comments below, I took another dive into the mix. Found a better drum and upped it. I think (hope) that, among other things, helps even more. Appreciate your giving this a second listen.

All the best,

Deej

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#501764 - 11/16/18 11:37 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Al-David]
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Alan,

Thanks for the listen. Drums—they kill me. But on my most recent mix I think I found a drummer that wasn’t so in love with the high hat—so felt better upping up the volume. Hopefully this is better in that regard. As for the strings earlier—really was intending to hold them to the end and build up to them, so I’m reluctant to bring them in too early. But I’ll give it more thought. Thanks again for the great feedback.

Best regards,

Deej

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#501765 - 11/16/18 11:37 PM [User Showcase] Re: Love Goes [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Offline
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1362
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Joe and Scott,

Glad you both enjoyed the tune. Hopefully the more recent tweaks in version number 3 have improved things a bit.

All the best,

Deej

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