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#501912 - 11/17/18 08:23 PM [User Showcase] Put Away That Fire
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2538
Rustyspoon# Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2538
Hi folks.
Here is another pacifist song I wrote. Lyrics are a bit rough. It drained a lot of my energy, so for now, I will let it be "as is", not to make things worse smile Most likely I will try to re-record / remix this in future, so critical comments are very welcomed. Thank you for listening!
Misha.

Put Away That Fire


I was working very chaotically and forgot to write down some BIAB track names, the ones I know are present:

Bass, Acoustic, PopWaltz Ev 085
Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm Folkie16ths Sw16 085
RealDrums=PraiseWorshipSlow 16th
Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm Tango Ev 100
Mandolin, Rhythm PopModernGrooveAndy Ev16 075
Cello, Background PopCountry Ev 085
Flute, Soloist, Bossa Ev 140 [double-time]
style change to BeatBox.sty at choruses

Lyrics:
Days are burning like a tinder,
Leaving ashes on a spotless, virgin snow.
Sky is echoing a sad song of an egret
While he flies to place he knows as home.

Stop, turn around - put away that fire
Tame your desires, like a wild horse.
There so much pain and suffering
In those faraway towns
Sickness, famine and drought
and endless war

World is giant, live volcano,
rage is flowing like a magma (lava, I know) to the sea
Lies, like steam, are rising to the clouds
Cover (shading?) sun for you and me

Stop, turn around - put away that fire
Tame your desires, like a wild horse.
There so much pain and suffering
In those faraway towns
Sickness, famine and drought
and endless war

Russian verse, written in folk tradition:
Ohh, the heavy thoughts,
Grey bird of unhappiness.
Fly away from home,

Stop, turn around - put away that fire
Tame your desires, like a wild horse.
There so much pain and suffering
In those faraway towns
Sickness, famine and drought
and endless war

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#501945 - 11/18/18 04:24 AM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5566
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5566
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Excellent song. Super vocal and lyric. Loved the backtrack as well..

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#501966 - 11/18/18 05:53 AM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1520
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Tano Music Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1520
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Outstanding! I really enjoyed all the elements of the song! I listened to it several times before I read your lyrics, and I enjoyed how are you inserted the Russian verse among the English lyrics. I like the movement of this song, and the instrumentation that you selected.

As I have said before, I totally enjoy your choice of words that I do not think would find their way into lyrics written by an English speaker: egret, magma, etc. Believe it or not, this inspires me to look beyond the easy, common, familiar words that are within easy reach for an English speaking lyric writer, and go for something more unique.

Your vocal delivery, and the entire recording, was very appealing, and I enjoyed listening to it the second time even more than the first!

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#501972 - 11/18/18 06:07 AM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3639
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3639
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Man, another good song from you! I wish I had a fraction of your skills as a lyricist.

Vocal sounds good, and the track sounds good too!

Production wise I love that section that starts at 2:11 or so with the guitar and then the flute taking over. Nice way to end the song too!

You have come a long way in a short period of time, well done!

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#502003 - 11/18/18 09:03 AM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2538
Rustyspoon# Offline
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Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2538
Scott, thank you for listening and great feedback.

Tano, thank you for encouragement! Lyrics are a bit simple, I should expect more from myself...
I guess it is like a permanent tattoo, I will get better at it, but it always be through some kind of prism of past experiences.

Dave, Thank you! Oh please, do not demote yourself. Your music is great in all respects! And I am not forgetting that you are the one who helped me understand the basic concept of EQ using my tools smile

I am not of a "gentle" kind and take hard critique well, if it is aimed at music/lyrics and not me as a person. So, please do not be shy. smile
Most of you are far above my musical skills, so I do value critique of this forum very much.

Thank you!
Misha.

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#502048 - 11/18/18 02:18 PM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 2789
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
rayc Offline
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Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 2789
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
Rustyspoon,
Another fabulous, heart felt & heart wrenching song.
Excellent mix & the treatment on the flute is perfect too.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

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#502068 - 11/18/18 06:33 PM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3003
Robertkc Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3003
Listening to you sing is a treat - there`s genuine feeling in your voice and you have a unique way with words.
This is also has a cool rhythmn and the chorus is catchy ( despite the subject).
The only comment I`d make on improvement, is that the arrangement seemed to lose energy where you take things down on verse2.Perhaps its the style change from the chorus.
On the whole I love the instrumental choices you made- as Dave said, the guitar/flute break is very good.

Robert

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#502082 - 11/18/18 09:51 PM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5425
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Al-David Offline
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Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 5425
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Misha,

You always post the most interesting music - and I truly love each one. I have to repeat the kind words about the guitar-flute lead. Your vocals are always superb. I wish to have even one-fourth your vocal ability. Listerned all the way through and commented after deep into the second listen. What a joy to listen to!

Best to you.

Alan
_________________________
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#502112 - 11/19/18 04:17 AM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2426
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
Skyline Offline
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Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2426
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
A very moving song Misha, your delivery conveys the super lyrics perfectly. I loved the way you perched light instrumental sounds on a 'heavy' rhythm section in the choruses, providing an appropriate contrast to the verses. Nice work.
cool
John
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#502121 - 11/19/18 05:32 AM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2538
Rustyspoon# Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2538
Rayc, Thank you for listening and feedback!

Robert, Exactly what I was looking for! Thank you for listening and for pointing out energy loss on verse 2!
Got too involved in this tune and "lost" ability to listen critically. This tip is gold!

Alan, thank you for kind words! You have so much variety of your own, that soon I will run out of themes to keep you interested smile

John, thank you for listening and the comment on light instrumentals. I did not think of this in the way you put it, just done it by ear. Now, when you put it in words, it makes total sense.

Best regards,
Misha.

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#502123 - 11/19/18 06:07 AM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 11/19/18
Posts: 5
sophie24 Offline
Newbie

Registered: 11/19/18
Posts: 5
Great song. Thanks for sharing. Love the lyrics too and I completely agree with "There so much pain and suffering"... wink

Keep up the good work!

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#502136 - 11/19/18 07:26 AM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Deryk - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Nice work on this one smile Love the groove on it, and the progressions were really stand out as well. I thought the backing track choice was flawless, and as others have mentioned - you really have a way with lyrics. They are simultaneously abstract yet relatable.

You knocked this one out of the park - great job and thanks for sharing!
_________________________
Cheers,
Deryk

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#502166 - 11/19/18 10:22 AM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 1944
Loc: Texas
Jim Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 1944
Loc: Texas
A very enjoyable composition... Thanks for sharing.
_________________________
Jim
†=☮&♥

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#502180 - 11/19/18 11:48 AM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 2089
F.M.M. Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 2089
hi misha great job on everything vocal mix oh and bass drum nice perfect thanks eric
_________________________
AMD (TM) 8150 3.60 GHz Eight Core Processor 64 bit windows 10 pro 64 bit os. sound card delta 1010 pci card 500 ssd drive 3 other drives guitars 1968 les Paul Custom and Cavin ae 185 Guitar boss Gt-100 pedal Carvin SRS Studio reference series

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#502223 - 11/19/18 03:18 PM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1201
Loc: Denmark
Will Josef Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1201
Loc: Denmark
Wow, Misha. This song almost brought tears to my eyes.

A few years after the "Wall" went down I worked in Russia for a short period of time and I felled in love with some of the Russian folk music and bought quite a lot of CD's with it at that time.
Your song instantly brought memories back from that time and from that musical tradition. It was a real pleasure to listen to this track - your voice is outstanding good in my humble opinion.

Thank you for sharing!
Will

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#502235 - 11/19/18 06:10 PM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2538
Rustyspoon# Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2538
Fellows,
Thank you for listening and for very supportive comments! This is probably the most feedback I got for song in many years smile

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#502617 - 11/20/18 07:11 PM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 962
Loc: Washington State
bluage Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 962
Loc: Washington State
Dear "Rustyspoon#"...

I think that only a person truly committed to real change could even attempt to employ "the arts", in this case, composing music, to affect that change. It also takes compassion and certain amount of fearlessness. In your song, "Put Away That Fire", the combination of those traits has produced what some would call an "anthem".

"The Free Dictionary" on the Web defines that word as "a popular song, especially a rock song felt to sum up the attitudes or feelings associated with a period or social group". All this is just to say, "Rustyspoon#", that you are following in the footsteps of artists such as Joan Baez, John Lennon, Bob Dylan, Pete Seeger, Holly Near, and others songwriter/performers who, fed-up with senseless killing, irrational hatred and unnecessary human suffering in general, acted on their stirred-up, tortured conscience to persuade a long-troubled world to try to think about seeing things their way.

Your emotional investment in what you describe as "pacifism" is in your urgent voice as much as it is in your unsparing lyrics. The music as realized through your RealTrack picks is folksy and full-bodied, with the flute phrases rising above all like the proverbial dove with an olive branch in its beak.

It's been a pleasure to look into your heart, "Rustyspoon#!!! I like what I discovered there.

LOREN
_________________________
"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".

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#502634 - 11/20/18 08:08 PM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 3964
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
Veteran

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 3964
Loc: Sacramento, California
Good write, love the arrangement with the rise and fall and various instruments weaving in and out.

I really like this song! laugh
_________________________
-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#502822 - 11/21/18 09:41 AM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2538
Rustyspoon# Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2538
Loren,
thank you for kind words! I wish I could have a tiny fraction of the talent and drive of the artists you mentioned smile Maybe times are getting more turbulent, maybe I am getting older.., but for strange reason, it seems that people are forgetting about horrors that world lived through in 1910s and 1940s. Unfortunately there are less people every day, that lived through the last World War that can remind us what bullying can lead to.

David, Thank you for your comment!

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#502905 - 11/21/18 02:02 PM [User Showcase] Re: Put Away That Fire [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1187
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1187
Loc: Virginia USA
I agree with the others: fabulous lyrics and musically mesmerizing.

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