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#517741 - 01/14/19 11:00 AM [User Showcase] No One Can See
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
No One Can See

Imagine, if you will, Klaatu, The X-Files, and The Twilight Zone participating in a menage a trois. The resultant bast*rd offspring of this polyamory would be this song. I built this song around it’s opening line, which I wrote in a creative writing exercise 25 years ago. I worked on the music and lyrics in bits and pieces over the past year, putzing around on the piano. I juxtaposed the tone and mood of the music with the lyrics to belie the lyrical content, except at the bridge where they converge. That last sentence was a load of horse dung, wasn’t it?

For the sound montage prelude to the song, I used a bunch of loops. I haven’t decided if I am going to keep it.

In addition to the Real Tracks, I added synth parts. I’ve always liked the sound of an English horn, so I synthed that as the counterpoint in the first and second chorus, and for the closing melody line. I also did the George Martin trick where I wrote the melody backwards, played it , and reversed the “tape” for the instrumental solo after the bridge.

Real Tracks
2478 Bass, Acoustic, Held
2934 Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm FolkySync8thsFi
1275 Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopUpliftHeld
1267 Synth Pad, PopShining
1030 Guitar, 12-String Electric, Fingerpicking
RealDrums-NashvilleEven8^1-SideStick,Ride
2364 Synth, ElectroFlutes, Rhythm Pop
3197 Guitar, Electric, Soloist PopBalladMellowBrent
RealDrums-EuroDance^1-BassClp,BassSnr
2578 Bass, Synth, RetroPop Ev16
2306 Synth, Rhythm BubblegumPopAccentSynth
2507 String Quartet, Rhythm PopEvenChamber
2973 Synth, Rhythm DancehallPercussive

Scott

Lyrics
The CIA wiretaps my dreams
Love on the counter espionage
Hiding myself from galactic beams
Tin-foiled human decoupage

I never thought I would ever see the day
When they would come to take you away

I’m scanning the cosmic void for my love
Searching for signs of you above
I am a captive trying to set you free
To boldly go where no one can see

Under surveillance since the day we kissed
In the bar room and then we brawled
Asphyxiated by my murderess
Breathless and humored and enthralled

I never thought I would ever see the day
When they would come to take you away

I’m scanning the cosmic void for my love
Searching for signs of you above
I am a captive trying to set you free
To boldly go where no one can see

Extraordinary missionaries dancing on a sweating floor
“Repent Harlequin” tick tocking my nevermore.

I never thought I would ever see the day
When they would come to take you away

I’m scanning the cosmic void for my love
Searching for signs of you above
I am a captive trying to set you free
To boldly go where no one can see

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#517749 - 01/14/19 11:26 AM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2056
Rustyspoon# Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2056
Scott,
very entertaining!
Cool lyrics! Unusual and fun. Reverse melody was a nice twist. English horn (and flutes?) sit very well. I like synths. I think electronica and acoustics on this tune work very well. Would totally keep it. Makes the whole composition stand out and more interesting.

Not sure if you are open to views... Your vocals are great (in all respects!) but I feel that more bass is needed for the vocals to mix in better with the rest of the instruments. It feels to me that it is a bit on high side. My headphones are very "neutral". Maybe that is why it sounds like that. But on the other hand, if you are not open to comments, kindly disregard last few sentences and kindly do not hold it against me smile I totally loved this!

Thank you,
Misha.

Top
#517777 - 01/14/19 02:43 PM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8568
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8568
Loc: Florida
Scott,

An extraordinary piece of music!

There's almost too much to comment on - but, it's ALL good!!
The other-worldly beginning is cool. (especially the harpsichord sounding thingy)

An interesting write. Big words. Interesting words. Cool rhymes. There should be some kind of prize to win for that. A lot of thought went into this, I'm sure...

Excellent vocal. Really nice mix - and considering the number and variety of instruments, that's an achievement! Well done.

The production values here is through the roof. Impressive.

I got a sense of Donovan and John Denver and David Bowie getting together in 2019 to write a song that they all could like...

fj

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#517814 - 01/14/19 04:42 PM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 1926
F.M.M. Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/26/11
Posts: 1926
hi scott very engaging tune great mix and vocal spot on also loved the beginning well done sir thanks for sharing eric
_________________________
AMD (TM) 8150 3.60 GHz Eight Core Processor 64 bit windows 10 pro 64 bit os. sound card delta 1010 pci card 500 ssd drive 3 other drives guitars 1968 les Paul Custom and Cavin ae 185 Guitar boss Gt-100 pedal Carvin SRS Studio reference series

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#517829 - 01/14/19 06:19 PM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 2360
Loc: Middletown, PA.
44kfl Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 2360
Loc: Middletown, PA.
Great sounds!

holy moly

like the intro, like the Bowie-like melody

I like what floyd said about Donovan, Denver, and Bowie

that instrument solo (maybe Brent) is twisted and contorted beautifully

very interesting song

some of the best taking Biab and making it sound different

enjoyed,

Kenny

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#517873 - 01/14/19 09:46 PM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 2415
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
rayc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 2415
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
Clever start to your description.
The intro is interesting in & of itself but it doesn't relate to the rest of the song for me. Had you taken the melodic instrument into the 1st verse it may have tied them together but as is strikes me as an add on.
Your vocal delivery is, though a little thin, generally assured and smooth but you seem unnatural, almost staccato, when you sing "In the bar room and then we brawled".
With the change of drums for the section including "Extraordinary missionaries dancing on a sweating floor" I like the new pattern but the drums sound as if they're under a blanket and all to top ends are rubbed off making the section stand out for the wrong reason to my ears.
There's a cool reverse VST in guitarrig2 that can do what you did with the solo REALLY easily. It's a very effective sound if done sparingly as you've shown.
Cool song, well arranged and the balance within the mix is spot on.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

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#517918 - 01/15/19 02:31 AM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3370
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3370
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Nice! Very original. Great vocal, and I really like the horn going around the vocal, is that a synth? Worked really well.

That backwards melody you did, very cool ...

Great, enjoyed the listen!
_________________________
Dave

Blue Attitude Website

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#517929 - 01/15/19 04:53 AM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 1944
Loc: Texas
Jim Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 1944
Loc: Texas
You have an interesting sonic experience going on here...
The background tracks & effects heighten the lyrics you've chosen to sing...
The intro & interludes add yet another element to the experience.
You've done a good job on finishing up this 25 years ago creative writing exercise wink
I really enjoyed listening to your work.
_________________________
Jim
†=☮&♥

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#518028 - 01/15/19 12:38 PM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 1995
Loc: Finland
jannesan Offline
Expert

Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 1995
Loc: Finland
This song really shows extraordinarly creativity smile Great lyrics, captivating start with "The CIA wiretaps my dreams", I like "scanning the cosmic void" part very much. You have used also nice effects to give a space like feeling. Nice arrangement with interesting details and combination of synth, electric and acoustic guitars, flutes. Space cowboy music I would say. Reminds me somehow of Peter Sarstedt.

Janne

Top
#518069 - 01/15/19 03:33 PM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: Rustyspoon#]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: Rustyspoon#
Scott,
very entertaining!
Cool lyrics! Unusual and fun. Reverse melody was a nice twist. English horn (and flutes?) sit very well. I like synths. I think electronica and acoustics on this tune work very well. Would totally keep it. Makes the whole composition stand out and more interesting.

Not sure if you are open to views... Your vocals are great (in all respects!) but I feel that more bass is needed for the vocals to mix in better with the rest of the instruments. It feels to me that it is a bit on high side. My headphones are very "neutral". Maybe that is why it sounds like that. But on the other hand, if you are not open to comments, kindly disregard last few sentences and kindly do not hold it against me smile I totally loved this!

Thank you,
Misha.


Thanks, Misha. I have a listen at the low end through some different speakers.

Top
#518070 - 01/15/19 03:34 PM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Scott,

An extraordinary piece of music!

There's almost too much to comment on - but, it's ALL good!!
The other-worldly beginning is cool. (especially the harpsichord sounding thingy)

An interesting write. Big words. Interesting words. Cool rhymes. There should be some kind of prize to win for that. A lot of thought went into this, I'm sure...

Excellent vocal. Really nice mix - and considering the number and variety of instruments, that's an achievement! Well done.

The production values here is through the roof. Impressive.

I got a sense of Donovan and John Denver and David Bowie getting together in 2019 to write a song that they all could like...

fj


FJ, Thank you for your kind words!

Top
#518071 - 01/15/19 03:35 PM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: F.M.M.]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: F.M.M.
hi scott very engaging tune great mix and vocal spot on also loved the beginning well done sir thanks for sharing eric


Eric, thank you for taking the time to listen to my musical experimentation.

Top
#518073 - 01/15/19 03:37 PM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: 44kfl]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: 44kfl
Great sounds!

holy moly

like the intro, like the Bowie-like melody

I like what floyd said about Donovan, Denver, and Bowie

that instrument solo (maybe Brent) is twisted and contorted beautifully

very interesting song

some of the best taking Biab and making it sound different

enjoyed,

Kenny


Thanks, Kenny, for your time and your response.

Top
#518074 - 01/15/19 03:38 PM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: rayc]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: rayc
Clever start to your description.
The intro is interesting in & of itself but it doesn't relate to the rest of the song for me. Had you taken the melodic instrument into the 1st verse it may have tied them together but as is strikes me as an add on.
Your vocal delivery is, though a little thin, generally assured and smooth but you seem unnatural, almost staccato, when you sing "In the bar room and then we brawled".
With the change of drums for the section including "Extraordinary missionaries dancing on a sweating floor" I like the new pattern but the drums sound as if they're under a blanket and all to top ends are rubbed off making the section stand out for the wrong reason to my ears.
There's a cool reverse VST in guitarrig2 that can do what you did with the solo REALLY easily. It's a very effective sound if done sparingly as you've shown.
Cool song, well arranged and the balance within the mix is spot on.





Rayc, thanks for the feedback. I had boosted the top and low end on the percussion in the bridge. I'll go back and take another listen to that section.

Top
#518075 - 01/15/19 03:40 PM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: BlueAttitude]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
Nice! Very original. Great vocal, and I really like the horn going around the vocal, is that a synth? Worked really well.

That backwards melody you did, very cool ...

Great, enjoyed the listen!


Thanks. That is a synth on the English horn, and I thought it sounded mighty close to the real thing.

Top
#518076 - 01/15/19 03:41 PM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: Jim]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: Jim
You have an interesting sonic experience going on here...
The background tracks & effects heighten the lyrics you've chosen to sing...
The intro & interludes add yet another element to the experience.
You've done a good job on finishing up this 25 years ago creative writing exercise wink
I really enjoyed listening to your work.


Thanks, Jim. I always appreciate your positive feedback.

Top
#518077 - 01/15/19 03:43 PM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: jannesan]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: jannesan
This song really shows extraordinarly creativity smile Great lyrics, captivating start with "The CIA wiretaps my dreams", I like "scanning the cosmic void" part very much. You have used also nice effects to give a space like feeling. Nice arrangement with interesting details and combination of synth, electric and acoustic guitars, flutes. Space cowboy music I would say. Reminds me somehow of Peter Sarstedt.

Janne


Thanks, Janne. I will have to look up Peter Sarstedt whom you referenced.

Top
#518198 - 01/16/19 10:16 AM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 2811
Robertkc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 2811
Full marks for originality - the lyrics and production are imaginative plus.
Really like the opening verse and the way you bring romance as well as sci-fi into the chorus.
Your vocals are always strong and clear - your tone and phrasing reminds me of Ian Tyson - giving the song a very 60`s feel.
Well done!

Robert

Top
#518202 - 01/16/19 10:34 AM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 4838
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
Al-David Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/29/12
Posts: 4838
Loc: Originally Missouri ... Now Al...
My comments for the next few days will have to be brief as my wife just returned home from the hospital (twice since Christmas) and needs lots of attention. I apologize for the brevity but it's necessary. Thanks for understanding!

Talk about interesting! loved the intro - I immediately thought of Rod Serling. Excellent mix and transitions. Your vocals are always so dang good! Loved it from beginning to end. best to you,

Alan
_________________________
BIAB 2018 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win10*8GB DDR4*I5-6th Gen*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120 Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar

Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops


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#518477 - 01/17/19 03:29 PM [User Showcase] Re: No One Can See [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 972
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: Robertkc
Full marks for originality - the lyrics and production are imaginative plus.
Really like the opening verse and the way you bring romance as well as sci-fi into the chorus.
Your vocals are always strong and clear - your tone and phrasing reminds me of Ian Tyson - giving the song a very 60`s feel.
Well done!

Robert


Thanks, Robert. You are much too kind. I will have to give Ian Tyson a listen.

Top
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