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#534323 - 04/25/19 09:26 PM [User Showcase] If You Stay
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 973
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Online   content
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 973
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Hey, all:

Something new . . . this time a solo effort. I try to space out my postings, and normally that’s an easy thing as I’m far from prolific. But this one’s been around a bit and thought I’d finally share here. Hope you enjoy the listen.

Here's the song:

IF YOU STAY

Here are the lyrics:

I hear you whisper in the dying light,
just a quiet word beneath a weary sigh,
and the car outside, idling in the snow.
I see the key to my apartment door
on the countertop next to the ring you wore,
and they’re telling me you really mean to go.

But if you stay one more night
we can make this all right,
if we try we just might
make this last forever.
If we make one last stand
it can be just like we planned,
you don’t have to walk away,
we can make this all OK
if you stay.

Don’t you remember how we used to be,
how we wore each others skins so comfortably,
we were more than two could ever be alone.
So tell me why it’s different now,
how what we had we lost somehow,
you say it’s gone,
maybe it’s gone.

But if you stay one more night
we can make this all right,
if we try we just might
make this last forever.
If we make one last stand
it can be just like we planned,
you don’t have to walk away,
we can make this all OK
if you stay.

Don’t it feel like our two hearts belong together,
that if we fight for what we love
we can get back to how it was.

But if you stay one more night
we can make this all right,
if we try we just might
make this last forever.
If we make one last stand
it can be just like we planned,
you don’t have to walk away,
we can make this all OK
if you stay.

Here's the band:

Drums: RealDrums Country Even 8
Bass: Real 2488, Bowed Held
Guitar: Real 522, Acoustic Fingerpick
Guitar: Real 841, Electric, Pop Ballad Slow Gritty
Guitar: Real 543, Electric, Rhythm Dreamy
Guitar: Real 1119, 12 String Acoustic, Strumming
Piano: Real 2494, Held Chords
String Quartet: Real 2508

© 2019 DJ Lekich

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#534328 - 04/25/19 10:52 PM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 2888
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
rayc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 2888
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
Deej,
you have a lot of character in your voice and it sells the narrative well.
The backing is just that - a back drop for the voice and story - nice.
I would suggest you address the plosives in you vocal track to make the most of the intimacy that you offer.
There's some T CH SH & ESS stuff that jumps way out from the backing.
Setting an additional compressor to knock those back without "makeup" you may be fine or try a plugin/VST de-esser or two - one for the ess and for the CH if you set them up right.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

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#534334 - 04/25/19 11:50 PM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 05/05/18
Posts: 1060
Loc: United Kingdom
musician17 Online   content
Expert

Registered: 05/05/18
Posts: 1060
Loc: United Kingdom
My computer just deleted my feedback just as I was about to post it. Here goes a re-type of sorts:

Superb job on every level. It's hard to do justice to your song in mere words, but I'll try nevertheless :-)

a) Distinctive voice (if it came on on the radio, I'd recognise it out of a thousand);
b) PASSION (the way you sing, you put EVERYTHING into your song), and
c) expertise (because you know how to sing - just listen to those dynamics, people! - and craft a song and get to the point in it without doodling about like I, for one, do, so that everything you want to communicate DOES get communicated in the best possible way).

These three together make for an incredible combination, which I feel you use to go (with total success) straight for one's emotions - and that's what matters, right?

Beethoven himself once said: "to play a wrong note is excusable. To play without passion is unforgivable". You don't sing any wrong notes that I can hear :-) - but, even if you did, I wouldn't care less because your passion carries it all. I wish your songs were for sale because (although everyone that knows me knows just how hard up for cash I actually am) I'd sure buy them without a shadow of a doubt.

One last thing: as I've said before, I've heard some of your other songs on SoundCloud, too ... you have a talent for stating exactly what needs to be stated in a song, without waffle or "extra material", so to speak. You just get to the point and break hearts (in the best way!) in the process! I love that - and "If You Stay" is a prime example of this. I'm not even going to start discussing your masterful command of lyric writing - we'll be here all day, haha. So: superb job, once more ... I want to hear more and WILL listen to more of your creations on SoundCloud! You really have something genuinely special, and I don't believe in hiding lights under bushels, so to speak :-) - so it's a BRAVO from me :-)


Edited by musician17 (04/25/19 11:52 PM)
_________________________
My music on Amazing Radio USA

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#534335 - 04/25/19 11:58 PM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1271
Tangmo Offline
Expert

Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1271
Great melody. The high notes sell the plaintive quality of the lyric. Way to beg. I like this a whole lot.
_________________________
BIAB 2021 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground

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#534337 - 04/26/19 02:44 AM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4506
Loc: New York
rsdean Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4506
Loc: New York
DJ,

This is an excellent song. I love the arrangement and the quality of the performance.

You have a vibe & feel to your voice that reminds me of Russell Hitchcock from Air Supply.

I thought this was just great all around and really enjoyed it.

Bob

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#534354 - 04/26/19 05:05 AM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3706
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3706
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Lots of passion in your vocal, and great tone too. You are definitely one of my favorite vocalists on this site.

Just a beautiful song, I very much enjoyed it. Well done!

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#534378 - 04/26/19 07:46 AM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Deryk - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Wow - this is stunning smile You really brought together something beautiful here. It sounds hopeful but sad at the same time. Love the progressions and your vocal performance on this. Very emotional, and definitely tugs at the heart strings.

Thanks for sharing!
_________________________
Cheers,
Deryk

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#534379 - 04/26/19 07:53 AM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 12/23/17
Posts: 761
Loc: Alabama
cliftond Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 12/23/17
Posts: 761
Loc: Alabama
Wow, DJ, this a beautiful song, so well written, vocals are pro quality, you have done an amazing job with this!!!! I love it CLiff

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#534380 - 04/26/19 07:54 AM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 06/28/06
Posts: 7119
Loc: Scottish Highlands
furry Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/28/06
Posts: 7119
Loc: Scottish Highlands
VERY VERY nice, brilliant vocals, nice arrangements as well

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#534403 - 04/26/19 09:28 AM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6215
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6215
Loc: Davis, CA
WOW!! So well done. So emotive....great vocal. Some really powerful lyrics. Particularly like:

I see the key to my apartment door
on the countertop next to the ring you wore

Great way to tell the story!

This song works so well in every way!! Take care. Greg

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#534406 - 04/26/19 09:33 AM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 1944
Loc: Texas
Jim Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 1944
Loc: Texas
Simply stated... IMHO this is one well-crafted song...
Great lyrics...
Great chorus...
Terrific vocal & production...
I really enjoyed listening to this one!
_________________________
Jim
†=☮&♥

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#534407 - 04/26/19 09:34 AM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2426
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
Skyline Offline
Veteran

Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 2426
Loc: Warwickshire, UK
DJ, as already said above, you have an amazing distinctive voice and your delivery of the sentiments in the song is just spot on. You've written a very special, beautiful song here. Well done!

John
_________________________
Songs web site
YouTube Channel
BIAB 2019
Cakewalk by BandLab
Studio One 4

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#534447 - 04/26/19 05:32 PM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 01/18/16
Posts: 1664
Joe -PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 01/18/16
Posts: 1664
Thank you for sharing this with us! I found the harmonies very detailed and quite pleasing to the ears. Good sense of rhythm too. well done!
_________________________
Cheers,
Joe

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#534448 - 04/26/19 05:49 PM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17129
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 17129
Loc: Australia
Hi DJ,

Here are just a few of the thoughts that passed through my mind as I listened...



I thoroughly enjoyed the journey that you just took me on.

There are no two ways about it, you're a very talented songwriter, song producer and song performer.

All the best,
Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS


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#534599 - 04/28/19 07:39 AM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5659
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 5659
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
What a cool vocal. Such a lovely song done with such emotion. Well done..

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#534810 - 04/29/19 08:52 PM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 973
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Deej56 Online   content
Expert

Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 973
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
rayc, James, Tangmo, Bob, Dave, Deryk, Cliff, Graham, Greg, Jim, John, Joe, Noel and Scott:

Thank you each for taking the time to listen and for all your very kind comments on the tune I’m glad this one worked. In retrospect, there are a few small things I might want to tweak were I to dive back into this one, but I was hoping it worked well enough . . . and it seems it did. Really appreciate your support.

rayc: Yeah, the plosives are definitely there . . . something I need to focus on going forward. I’m not quite technically savvy enough to fully understand your suggestion (sorry about that), but I’m guessing there are options in my DAW that might help me address it better.

Deryk: “hopeful but sad” was the intent . . . glad it came through.

James and Noel: You are both too, too kind . . . but it’s very much appreciated.

My best to all of you,

Deej

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#534814 - 04/29/19 09:47 PM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 09/09/17
Posts: 723
Loc: Virginia
Belladonna Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 09/09/17
Posts: 723
Loc: Virginia
Deej, this is the first time I've listened to any of your songs and I was blown away. Great in all aspects lyrics, melody, vocal delivery, etc. So beautiful, hopeful and emotional. Will be listening to more of your songs hopefully.

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#534838 - 04/30/19 06:07 AM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7571
Guitarhacker Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 7571
I'm glad to stopped to listen..... nicely done.

The song hooked me and made me want to stay and listen to more.

Good job on the writing. Your vocals really have a nice character to them. Love those falsetto high notes here and there.

It's all good to me.
_________________________
You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com

Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.


As the sword chooses the warrior, so too, the song chooses the writer.

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#534852 - 04/30/19 07:34 AM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10139
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 10139
Loc: GA USA
As we said at SC: The whole package...good vocal, write, arrangement and production!

All the bases have been covered. There is little to add...but at the risk of being redundant this is a great take on the breakup theme.

New and fresh.

You delivers it with convincing soul and passion and wrapped it a production that well supports the vocal and lyric.

Excellent!

J&B
_________________________

J&B Soundcloud
J&B YouTube
J&B Website

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#534973 - 05/01/19 06:48 AM [User Showcase] Re: If You Stay [Re: Deej56]
Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 2153
Loc: Finland
jannesan Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 2153
Loc: Finland
So much excellency in this package, a song and performance usually heard in the final of a song contest or singing contest like Idols, in both I would give my vote to you smile The backing band supports your amazing voice very well, I like especially the strings and the picking guitar.

Janne
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Hear My Music:

Soundcloud
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