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#535652 - 05/06/19 09:58 AM [User Showcase] Coloring Outside The Lines
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10206
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10206
Loc: Florida
One of those titles that won't leave you alone until you get it written...


COLORING OUTSIDE THE LINES

she grabbed my beer off the bar
chugged half, set it back, said "that's a start"
dragged me to the dance floor by my shirt
like it was some kind of game
neon glitter in her hair
she danced like no one else was there
turned and kissed me on the lips
before i even knew her name
it's been a whirlwind since then
   
   coloring outside the lines
   is a given
   upsetting the apple cart
   her way of living
   the whoop, the wild, the woman-child
   what you see is what you get
   ain't met a rule she won't break yet
   hell-bent with the slightest hint of heaven
   coloring outside the lines a given

she'll do anything on a bet
dirt roads every chance she gets
a hundred miles an hour
radio as loud as it'll go
she loves a moonlit skinny dip
the taste of moonshine on her lips
no telling what she do next
even she doesn't know
she's a gentle rain, a hurricane
driving me insane


The BAND:
RealTracks in song: ~684:Bass, Electric, PopHalfNotesSync Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 1169:Guitar, Electric, Soloist RockMediumBrent Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 2499:Guitar, Baritone Electric, Rhythm PopCountryBrent Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 3059:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm Muted16thsFintan Ev16 080
RealTracks in song: 1257:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopShiningRock8ths Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 1167:Guitar, Electric, Soloist RockBalladBrent Ev 065
MIDI SuperTrack: 1804 Synth Pad, PopUplift Ev 120 - rendered with a Studio One organ (synth)
RealDrums in Song: BluesRockEv^1-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Open HiHat

harmonies: the janettes (a little bit of me, a lot of Janice Merritt)


Thanks for listening.
J&B - Thanks! (again!!!)
Comments, as always, welcome.
Have at it.

fj

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#535662 - 05/06/19 11:05 AM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 1944
Loc: Texas
Jim Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 1944
Loc: Texas
Excellent write...
Strong & unusual hook...
Good vocals, harmonies, & production...
Great job on another one!
_________________________
Jim
†=☮&♥

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#535667 - 05/06/19 11:36 AM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/04/10
Posts: 2171
Loc: Midwest
HearToLearn Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/04/10
Posts: 2171
Loc: Midwest
So I'm considering this for a template to use for your songs. I know some people use a "song formula," so why not a comment formula? This may REALLY speed up my ability to comment on your music. Here it is...

Quote:
Wow Floyd, you did it AGAIN! I really don't know how you consistently put out such high quality songs; but you do.

First off the title [Insert Song Title], is really catchy. It draws you in to see where this song is going to take you. It doesn't disappoint either.

Lyrically, it's always impressive. You have a very well crafted ability to create songs with lyrics that work; without sounding like you are trying too hard. They are simple, conversational; and keep you listening. None of those are easy to do. You manage all three in this song. I especially like these lines...

[Insert 1 to Several lines from the song]

The singing is always great. I think you know I feel your delivery is consistently fantastic.

Janice sounds great on the backing vox/harmonies. That's a given. What a great sound!

Production, always top notch. Never a question of expectation from that. Bud NEVER disappoints. He does two things consistently. 1-underestimates his abilities. 2-Surpasses what us mere mortals can do. Excellent!

So, once again, you nailed it. Totally pro. It's a great representation of what can be done.

I feel like I'm repeating myself with each of your songs; but it's always meant. Another great one!


I'm sure I will have to do some editing; but it's a start. Rough draft complete. Now, I just need to make sure it says all I need it to. I am curious if anyone thinks I'm serious about this concept. lol

Anyway, in all seriousness. Another great song. I could go into many aspects of the song; but really would be repeating myself.

Thanks for making it and sharing it. Also, welcome back! smile


Edited by HearToLearn (05/06/19 11:38 AM)
_________________________
C.Aaron Madison
I often get asked how to pronounce my name.
"Ma-Duh-Sn" J/K wink
As people have left the "." out so many times, "Caaron" has become the norm of it. Still said as the "." was there though. smile


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#535677 - 05/06/19 12:30 PM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 06/17/10
Posts: 1983
Loc: Canyon Lake, TX
Steve Young Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/17/10
Posts: 1983
Loc: Canyon Lake, TX
Another outstanding effort! I should just create a template response for any Floyd Jane song. They are all top shelf, outstanding productions of very well written songs!

I always look forward to hearing anything you post!

Steve
_________________________
Steve Young
Music
"In order to compose, all you need to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of." - Robert Schumann

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#535678 - 05/06/19 12:45 PM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 5152
Loc: New York
rsdean Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 5152
Loc: New York
Floyd,

This is a great song... Love the storyline and of course the outstanding vocal.

As usual, your mix is pro all the way and the arrangement is fresh and contemporary.

So well done!

Bob

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#535689 - 05/06/19 01:58 PM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 3810
Rustyspoon# Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 3810
FJ & Janice

Very good easy listener. Compact, yet powerful. Production is exceptional!
I liked this:
"ain't met a rule she won't break yet" smile

Congrats to both of you!

P.S. Would like to hear more of Janice on this (volume/level wise), just a personal opinion.

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

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#535697 - 05/06/19 03:59 PM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 4425
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
rayc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 4425
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
The rhythm section propels this at what appears a cracking pace.
Clever that the tempo seems faster than it is.
Narrative is cool, melody is cool, performances are cool.
The arrangement is ace as well.
The organ fade out is FABULOUS.
Yet again - classic.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe

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#535698 - 05/06/19 04:14 PM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6571
Loc: Davis, CA
Greg Johnson Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6571
Loc: Davis, CA
Humor, Heart, and most of all Craft all blended together with an artist's touch!!! I love to pick out great lines for special recognition, but when they are all that strong, it's just too dang hard......like looking for a pretty girl at the Miss Universe pageant! Fantastic, catchy, and lively song that does everything right. And production is spotless. Another killer tune my friend!!! Take care. Greg

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#535715 - 05/06/19 05:12 PM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1707
Loc: Maryland
TuneMonger Offline
Expert

Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 1707
Loc: Maryland
Yep, another pro production. My favorite line is "the whoop, the wild, the woman child." I liked how the solo guitars came in and didn't outstay their welcome. Many good things here, the voice first, needless to say.
_________________________
Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak

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#535719 - 05/06/19 05:19 PM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2901
Loc: Victoria, BC
Ember - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 06/19/17
Posts: 2901
Loc: Victoria, BC
Really enjoyed this! Thanks for sharing.
_________________________
Cheers,
Ember

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#535741 - 05/07/19 12:02 AM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1368
Tangmo Offline
Expert

Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 1368
Yep, the video from my internal CMT was running the whole time. All aspects of this strong and much appreciated. The Janettes. Priceless.
_________________________
BIAB 2021 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground

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#535758 - 05/07/19 04:54 AM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 4344
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 4344
Loc: Ontario, Canada
I was tempted to cut and paste that template from HTL, pretty much says it all I think!

I always enjoy listening to your music, I know I'm in for something special. And of course having the janettes in there is a little added bonus!

Lot's of great lines, my favorites:

"she loves a moonlit skinny dip
the taste of moonshine on her lips"

and

"she's a gentle rain, a hurricane
driving me insane"

Great stuff, floyd, very much enjoyed smile

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#535778 - 05/07/19 07:28 AM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 2360
Loc: Middletown, PA.
44kfl Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 2360
Loc: Middletown, PA.
welcome back,

awesome signature sound, I love the now familiar sound of you

and Janice blending seamlessly

this sounds like a title track to me, an instant hit

(sorry about the overuse of the word sound)

it's top notch and inspirational, love the drums

super write


Kenny

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#535788 - 05/07/19 08:20 AM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Deryk - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Very well done - that chorus is insanely catchy, and the vocals performance is extremely strong too. The harmonies are flawless and that hook is an immediate earworm. Not to mention, the mix on this is on point too. It sounds really professional.

Not a thing I'd change on this one - thanks for sharing!
_________________________
Cheers,
Deryk

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#535801 - 05/07/19 09:15 AM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: Jim]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10206
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10206
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: Jim
Excellent write...
Strong & unusual hook...
Good vocals, harmonies, & production...
Great job on another one!


Thanks, Jim!

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#535803 - 05/07/19 09:23 AM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: HearToLearn]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10206
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10206
Loc: Florida
Originally Posted By: HearToLearn
So I'm considering this for a template to use for your songs. I know some people use a "song formula," so why not a comment formula? This may REALLY speed up my ability to comment on your music. Here it is...

Quote:
Wow Floyd, you did it AGAIN! I really don't know how you consistently put out such high quality songs; but you do.

First off the title [Insert Song Title], is really catchy. It draws you in to see where this song is going to take you. It doesn't disappoint either.

Lyrically, it's always impressive. You have a very well crafted ability to create songs with lyrics that work; without sounding like you are trying too hard. They are simple, conversational; and keep you listening. None of those are easy to do. You manage all three in this song. I especially like these lines...

[Insert 1 to Several lines from the song]

The singing is always great. I think you know I feel your delivery is consistently fantastic.

Janice sounds great on the backing vox/harmonies. That's a given. What a great sound!

Production, always top notch. Never a question of expectation from that. Bud NEVER disappoints. He does two things consistently. 1-underestimates his abilities. 2-Surpasses what us mere mortals can do. Excellent!

So, once again, you nailed it. Totally pro. It's a great representation of what can be done.

I feel like I'm repeating myself with each of your songs; but it's always meant. Another great one!


I'm sure I will have to do some editing; but it's a start. Rough draft complete. Now, I just need to make sure it says all I need it to. I am curious if anyone thinks I'm serious about this concept. lol

Anyway, in all seriousness. Another great song. I could go into many aspects of the song; but really would be repeating myself.

Thanks for making it and sharing it. Also, welcome back! smile


Okay... I can go with the template thing... with a couple of caveats...

YOU FORGET TO FILL IT OUT! What ARE those quotable lines???

You seem to be giving Bud credit for my production/mix? What's up with that?? You know I think the world of Bud (he knows that, too, hopefully), but he gets plenty of credit for his own impeccable productions/mixes. Really. He DOES record Janice's incredible harmonies - and adds the processing to them, generally - and send them to me... But geez...

[stamp] Thanks! [/stamp]

smile smile wink

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#535856 - 05/07/19 02:38 PM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 11778
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 11778
Loc: GA USA
Jim, HTL, Misha, Tangmo, Dave, Kenny, Dreyk

Thank y'all for mentioning the harmony. I'm proud to be a member of the janettes and hope mr jane keeps me on board smile
_________________________
J&B Videos
J&B Soundcloud
J&B Website

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#535864 - 05/07/19 03:44 PM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1787
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1787
Loc: Virginia USA
The imagery contained in these lyrics is poetic. Another good 'un.

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#535871 - 05/07/19 03:54 PM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 07/11/15
Posts: 4236
Loc: United States
Torrey Bliss Offline
Veteran

Registered: 07/11/15
Posts: 4236
Loc: United States
Floyd, I loved the way you just launched into this with the vocals! Nice creative touch with the rhythm in the second verse! Wonderfully painted lyrical picture all the way through! You always lay down such a perfect vocal we all take it for granted! Janice's background vocals are a thing of beauty and sit perfectly in the mix! Loved it!! Thanks, Torrey
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#535913 - 05/07/19 07:35 PM [User Showcase] Re: Coloring Outside The Lines [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 10/09/16
Posts: 1440
Loc: Central Ohio
edshaw Offline
Expert

Registered: 10/09/16
Posts: 1440
Loc: Central Ohio
Another good one, Floyd. High degree of professionalism makes it easy to sit back and enjoy.
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