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#540155 06/09/19 06:22 AM
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Hi All,

This is somewhat of a vignette - it's called
[Link no longer valid]

Red Hook's so cold tonight
It might sleet or snow
Changes minute to minute
So hard to know
Graffiti in the doorway
Who's looking
Goodbye Brooklyn

Word’s out you left town
Your sister said goodbye
The dog wanders around
All he does is cry
Graffiti in the doorway
Who's looking
Goodbye Brooklyn

Took a trip to the city
As the subway roared
Battery Park drips chalk
Like an old blackboard
Graffiti in the doorway
Who's looking
Goodbye Brooklyn
Goodbye Brooklyn

BIAB Tracks:
2552: Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Ev16 075
1856: Cello, Background PopCountry 085
RealDrums: NashvilleBrushesBalladPush Ev16
Other: Strummed Acoustic (Me)

As always - thanks for listening!

Bob

Last edited by Andrew - PG Music; 08/28/20 06:48 PM.
rsdean #540161 06/09/19 07:06 AM
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I really like it. A moment in time, as it were. Beautiful depiction - well done.

rsdean #540201 06/09/19 01:48 PM
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Bob

A wonderful "album" track to go on your "CD" is how it feels to me.
It fits in so nicely with your recent songs. Love the way you paint with words.
Lovely work.

Peter

rsdean #540207 06/09/19 02:50 PM
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Well done, Bob! It is a touching piece of music with lyrics that fits perfectly into the universe that the music creates. I really liked listening to this!


Thanks for sharing!
Will

rsdean #540213 06/09/19 03:06 PM
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Very cool lyric Bob. Loved the way you delivered the vocal. Very different. Gave the song such a cool feel. Well done


Scott Collingwood
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https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
rsdean #540222 06/09/19 03:52 PM
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Bob,
Another interesting, nostalgic storytelling piece. Well performed and produced!

P.S. I left Brooklyn ~20 years back. I can relate to this smile

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

rsdean #540223 06/09/19 03:52 PM
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Bob,
You summed it up - a lovely vignette - leaves me wanting more.
It occurs that you have a body of work about the city that would stand up there with the best songs of place & time.
Real & good.

Robert

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Originally Posted By: musician17
I really like it. A moment in time, as it were. Beautiful depiction - well done.


I love that analysis!! THis is really moving!!

The dog wanders around
All he does is cry

That line really captured my imagination!

Love the cello!!!

Great job Bob!! Take care. Greg

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Thanks very much!

Bob

PeterF #540266 06/09/19 11:59 PM
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Originally Posted By: PeterF
Love the way you paint with words.



Had to steal that line, it pretty much sums it up for me too.

Man, you are on a roll! So prolific and all top quality songs too.

Excellent, Bob!

rsdean #540279 06/10/19 03:05 AM
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Hi Bob,

One quickly gets used to the way you perform. The cello has a strong part in the melody. Combined with your voice tears come up somewhere after line 4 of your lyrics (I'm lying a littlebit, it's after line 6).
So a very nice song!

Hans Berkhout


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(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130
rsdean #540294 06/10/19 03:45 AM
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you paint with a wonderful and delicate brush

Took a trip to the city
As the subway roared
Battery Park drips chalk
Like an old blackboard
Graffiti in the doorway
Who's looking
Goodbye Brooklyn

that's beautiful

PeterF #540302 06/10/19 04:04 AM
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Peter,

I appreciate that - thank you.

Bob

rsdean #540307 06/10/19 04:16 AM
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Wow - you did a truly great job on this one smile Short, sweet, and really packs an emotional punch. In my mind it's the perfect length - you hit everything you needed to. Love the poetic lyrics on this one as well.

Thanks for sharing!


Cheers,
Deryk
rsdean #540319 06/10/19 05:14 AM
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Just a few simple snapshots that make me squint a little closer. Kinda reminds me of some of the deep album cuts--those short pieces by Simon and Garfunkle, Jethro Tull and others. They say what they say and stick with you...like this. And I do...like this.


BIAB 2021 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground
rsdean #540322 06/10/19 05:20 AM
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Simply beautiful Bob. Sparse but full of meaning and feeling, a terrific juxtaposition. Loved it.

John


Songs web site
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rsdean #540329 06/10/19 06:04 AM
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Nice composition...
Saying what you need say with brevity...
Excellent vivid images supported by a simple backing track...
I enjoyed it... Good job!


Jim
†=☮&♥
rsdean #540330 06/10/19 06:05 AM
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A wonderful heartfelt song. Very good production. Every time I listen to you I hear Rodney Crowell , your vocals are perfect for this narrative type song. Thanks for sharing


Os Windows Biab 2018. studio one pro 3 ozone 8 focusrite 214 se electronics Gemini mic
rsdean #540337 06/10/19 06:39 AM
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Very nice, Bob! Your lyrics are always so strong, they stand alone, regardless of the music bed they lay upon. These are very poignant words, and are very well spoken in this one.

Loved it!

Steve


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rsdean #540352 06/10/19 07:47 AM
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I don't know Brooklyn but I can really see a nice poetic scenery you are painting with your words and heartfelt singing.

Janne


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rsdean #540367 06/10/19 09:36 AM
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Bob,

Another excellent song. Good write - has such a natural feel - like just conversational thoughts (as good song writing should be).

Good production, vocal, good mix.

A joy to listen to.

fj

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Will,

Thank you - I appreciate that.

Bob

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Scott,

Thanks very much!

Bob

rsdean #540394 06/10/19 03:23 PM
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Who's looking? Great line repeated to great effect. Another terrific piece. I'd buy the album.


Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
rsdean #540402 06/10/19 04:23 PM
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Excellent! Great marriage between the lyric and instrumentation.


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Misha,

Thanks very much. smile

Bob

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Robert,

Thanks very much - appreciate the kind words.

Bob

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Greg,

Thanks - much appreciated!

Bob

rsdean #540474 06/11/19 07:04 AM
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Well done Bob, I really enjoyed the overall tone of this. This is beautiful and I dig the overall timbres. Great tone with the guitar too. Very captivating lyrics. Great work!


Cheers,
Joe
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Dave,

Thanks very much!

Bob

rsdean #540512 06/11/19 11:20 AM
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What a well conceived little vignette.

You say it elegantly and leave a lot of room for listeners to connect dots and/or contemplate.

The cello adds a lot to the fine mix.

The narrative vocal is perfect for the write.

Man, it appears that the muse didn't just visit you but, rather, moved in. Amazing high quality output.

Love it!

J&B

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Hans,

Thanks so much - very appreciated.

Bob

44kfl #540552 06/11/19 11:38 PM
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Kenny,

That means a lot - thanks.

Bob

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Deryk,

Thanks so much.

Bob

Tangmo #540602 06/12/19 05:24 AM
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Tangmo,

Thanks - that's very nice of you to say.

Bob

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John,

Thank you - much appreciated.

Bob

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Put a little more grit in the vocal and it'd be Rod McKuen's renaissance.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Jim #540684 06/13/19 12:30 AM
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Jim,

Thank you!

Bob

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Brad,

Thanks - that's a great compliment.

Bob

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Steve,

Thanks very much - it is appreciated!

Bob

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Janne,

Thanks so much.

Bob

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Bob, obviously a very short song but man you did a lot in under 2 minutes! That cello was perfect to carry this one along! The track was a beautiful vehicle to carry your thoughts! Thanks, Torrey




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Floyd,

Thanks very much - it is appreciated!

Bob

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TuneMonger,

That is very kind of you - thanks!

Bob

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David,

Thank so much.

Bob

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Joe,

Thanks - very appreciated.

Bob

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Janice & Bud,

Thank you - that's very kind and appreciated.

Bob

rayc #540965 06/14/19 08:11 AM
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Ray,

That's a great compliment - thank you.

Bob

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Torrey,

Thanks very much!

Bob

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Looking - Brooklyn what a great rhyme. Really creative fresh visuals too - dripping chalk. The tune was a bit repetitious for my taste but I get what you're going for - it's a style thing. smile Great job on your sound and extra kudos for such fresh creative lyrics.

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Josie,

Thanks!

Bob

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I'm a sucker for a cello. Another brilliant set of lyrics. You really bring the listener into the song with your imagery.

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Hi Bob,

This is such a good write.

I love your use of the cello to set the tone of this composition. A sense of sadness because of moving on resonated so clearly and poignantly. These lyrics are outstanding. That three line refrain at the end of each A-section is perfect.

I mention this just in case it is not something you've thought about (which is extremely unlikely), but as I listened, I would have loved to hear a cello solo between the 2nd and 3rd A-sections -- something like in the top clip below. I'd also experiment with such solo being unaccompanied just like in the uptempo clip below -- it's very effective to go from a band sound to unaccompanied cello.

BALLAD TEMPO accompanied cello solo at 3:55


DIRECT LINK
https://youtu.be/4Wc7Ue60Uro


UPTEMPO unaccompanied cello solo at 4:30


DIRECT LINK
https://youtu.be/JskuZA4n9aI


I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this song of yours, Bob!

All the best,
Noel


MY SONGS...
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