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#554668 - 09/13/19 06:05 PM
[User Showcase]
Unseen Unknown Unheard
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Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 2472
Veteran
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 2472
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Can a song be too personal? I`m not often a fan of highly confessional songs( everybody hurts!)and have left the subject of this one aside for so long that my power to help of influence the person who suffered has probably passed... and all I can do is write a song. If you listen and have constructive comments,they are most welcome. Unseen Unknown Unheard Style is _HOMESIK.STY (Homesick Soft Pop Serenade) RealTracks in style: ~2474:Bass, Acoustic, Held Ev 085 RealTracks in song: 2461:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm NewAgeAlbertiPretty Ev 100 RealTracks in style: 3059:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm Muted16thsFintan Ev16 080 RealTracks in song: 2336:Viola, Background, Pop Ev 085 (1TrackStringSection) RealTracks in song: 2338:Violin, Background, PopLow Ev 085 (1TrackStringSection) RealTracks in song: 1856:Cello, Background PopCountry Ev 085 RealDrums [in style:CongasEv16[single] [Multi] Unseen Unknown Unheard wanting to be seen my lord made jewels green to live in your eyes carry silence with you like a backpack like those birds out the window at school one day turning cartwheels then holding your breath seeing faces from the bottom of a pool we called him Uncle Amazing he looked like Steve McQueen all candy card tricks sleight of hand games behind closed doors the cost to keep mum on the tip of your tongue like a brand you slip through the seam between worlds unseen unknown unheard needing to be known the heart outgrows bone beats beyond your walls he sent a singing postcard playing we`ll meet again in the fort we made to be safe there`s a ghost at the table girl without edges where is my sister you replaced slip back through the seam between worlds be seen be known be heard longing to be heard the beginnings of words no secret can contain no secret can contain © Robert Cordrey Aug. 2019
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#554679 - 09/13/19 07:19 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 1591
Expert
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 1591
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Robert,
Very unusual tune. Poetry is haunting-beautiful. Intricate phrasing.
Hand drums work very well on this. Production is A+ Enjoyed this a lot.
Thank you for sharing!
Misha.
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#554696 - 09/13/19 10:56 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 3398
Loc: Sacramento, California
Veteran
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 3398
Loc: Sacramento, California
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Constructive criticism? I can't think of anything to criticize here.
As Misha noted, it's an unusual tune, more poetry set to music. You've got a unique voice in terms of how you approach songs, and this is no exception.
Well mixed, musically interested, expressive, emotional singing.
In terms of being too personal, well... I suspect that's meant more an explanation of the song than an question.
But yes - some songs can be way too personal. Thanks for the heads up.
And thanks for posting!
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#554741 - 09/14/19 06:35 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 7975
Loc: Florida
Veteran
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 7975
Loc: Florida
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Robert,
Terrific opening. The a cappella vocal resolving into the quartet-style strings - so nice!
The combination of the muted acoustic and the newage piano is super (you've used many of my favorite RTs in this!).
Your vocal is perfect....an as-good-as-it-gets performance. Perfectly mixed.
The whole mix is excellent. Everything about this is top-notch.
A STUNNING write. Absolutely broke my heart. Start to finish quote-worthy.
(a career-defining type write.)
A real WOW.
fj
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#554746 - 09/14/19 07:15 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4327
Loc: Woodstock, NY
Veteran
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 4327
Loc: Woodstock, NY
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Robert,
An absolutely stunning piece...
"we called him Uncle Amazing
he looked like Steve McQueen
all candy card tricks
sleight of hand"
Wow - no words to describe how much I love this one.
Bob
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#554774 - 09/14/19 10:36 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3015
PG Music Staff
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3015
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Wow - what unique and attention-grabbing tune! It has an almost psychedelic feel to it - your lyrics and vocals on this are haunting too, and it sets a really spectacular mood. Thanks for sharing 
_________________________
Cheers,
Deryk
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#554839 - 09/14/19 05:51 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 2472
Veteran
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 2472
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Robert,
Very unusual tune. Poetry is haunting-beautiful. Intricate phrasing.
Hand drums work very well on this. Production is A+ Enjoyed this a lot.
Thank you for sharing!
Misha.
I appreciate that, Misha. Constructive criticism? I can't think of anything to criticize here.
As Misha noted, it's an unusual tune, more poetry set to music. You've got a unique voice in terms of how you approach songs, and this is no exception.
Well mixed, musically interested, expressive, emotional singing.
In terms of being too personal, well... I suspect that's meant more an explanation of the song than an question.
But yes - some songs can be way too personal. Thanks for the heads up.
And thanks for posting! Thanks for the positive comments, particularly on the vocals. My intro comments probably reflect a hesitance about posting this one-closet skeletons and all that. Robert,
Terrific opening. The a cappella vocal resolving into the quartet-style strings - so nice!
The combination of the muted acoustic and the newage piano is super (you've used many of my favorite RTs in this!).
Your vocal is perfect....an as-good-as-it-gets performance. Perfectly mixed.
The whole mix is excellent. Everything about this is top-notch.
A STUNNING write. Absolutely broke my heart. Start to finish quote-worthy.
(a career-defining type write.)
A real WOW.
fj Floyd, I`m pleased you liked the acappella opening- it was a late choice to believe the harmonies were good enough. Getting the percussive guitar a little under the pretty piano seemed to do the trick. Your comments are so supportive- I can`t thank you enough for the careful listening and sensitivity behind your reviews. Robert
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#554875 - 09/14/19 11:30 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16353
Loc: Australia
Veteran
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 16353
Loc: Australia
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Robert, Like floyd, I really enjoyed the vocal introduction that led into the instruments. One needs lots of confidence to do that and you did it very well. I'm not sure that I fully understood the lyrics but the below verses were very haunting and they caused me much reflection. we called him Uncle Amazing
he looked like Steve McQueen
all candy card tricks
sleight of hand
games behind closed doors
the cost to keep mum
on the tip of your tongue
like a brand I honestly don't know what to say nor how to say it. Given the sense of gravitas that I feel from these lyrics, I sincerely hope that time has helped with healing. The style, your singing and your arrangement were excellent choices to carry this story. Regards, Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS
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#554878 - 09/15/19 01:25 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3008
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Veteran
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3008
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Love your vocal in this one, Robert, so fragile and delicate.
I found the lyrics to be disturbing to be honest, but they certainly held my attention! Very well written indeed.
Good song!
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#554888 - 09/15/19 04:45 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 4753
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Veteran
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 4753
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
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Wow Robert very emotional song. The backtrack was perfect for the song. Such a powerful lyric and awesome vocal. Well done.
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#554908 - 09/15/19 06:05 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 1115
Loc: Germany
Expert
Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 1115
Loc: Germany
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Hi Rob,
I have to pick up your song title to describe what I feel )lyrics like these UNSEEN before, a song like this UNHEARD before. It's really unusual in all aspects. Unusual in the sense of marvellous that is.
The way you sing it made got me some goose bumps - it's so soft and ... hm ... vulnerable.
An excellent piece from A to Z.
All the best,
Stefan
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#554984 - 09/15/19 02:01 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 8563
Loc: GA USA
Veteran
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 8563
Loc: GA USA
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"there`s a ghost at the table
girl without edges
where is my sister
you replaced "
That's a "run off the road" two lines if one were driving while listening....incredibly powerful.
And the lyric is outstanding all the way through. Zero filler.
The vocals are amongst your best...Stefan has the word, "vulnerable."
It would be hard to imagine a better arrangement, band or mix to support this write.
It's all been already stated more eloquently than we are capable...
Amazing.
J&B
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#555004 - 09/15/19 06:37 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Noel96]
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Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 2472
Veteran
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 2472
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Robert,
An absolutely stunning piece...
"we called him Uncle Amazing
he looked like Steve McQueen
all candy card tricks
sleight of hand"
Wow - no words to describe how much I love this one.
Bob
I very much appreciate that, Bob...makes the choice to share so worth while. Wow - what unique and attention-grabbing tune! It has an almost psychedelic feel to it - your lyrics and vocals on this are haunting too, and it sets a really spectacular mood. Thanks for sharing Deryk, Thanks for all your listens and positive comments. Robert, Like floyd, I really enjoyed the vocal introduction that led into the instruments. One needs lots of confidence to do that and you did it very well. I'm not sure that I fully understood the lyrics but the below verses were very haunting and they caused me much reflection. we called him Uncle Amazing
he looked like Steve McQueen
all candy card tricks
sleight of hand
games behind closed doors
the cost to keep mum
on the tip of your tongue
like a brand I honestly don't know what to say nor how to say it. Given the sense of gravitas that I feel from these lyrics, I sincerely hope that time has helped with healing. The style, your singing and your arrangement were excellent choices to carry this story. Regards, Noel Noel, I set a few inner ground rules for writing the lyrics: -make it clear the song is about the sexual abuse of a child, without using gratuitous detail. -write both from the child`s point of view and the adult, believing there is healing to be found. -its unlikely my sister will hear the song, but if she does, have I written a message of love and support? The responses from the generous listeners here make me I hope I succeeded in some way. Thanks for your kind comments. Robert -
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#555021 - 09/15/19 11:48 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2579
Loc: South Africa
Veteran
Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2579
Loc: South Africa
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Hi Robert
I dont think you can be too personal. That is what makes songwriting great and deeply fulfilling.
Loved the line "seeing faces from the bottom of a pool"
A fantastic write all round.
Well done.
J
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#555027 - 09/16/19 12:21 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 3417
Loc: Sydney Australia
Veteran
Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 3417
Loc: Sydney Australia
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Robert
A very emotional sad write and beautifully performed.
As floyd said a great mix and vocal.
One of your absolute best.
Peter
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#555144 - 09/17/19 02:30 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 1930
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
Expert
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 1930
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
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Robert,
I like it and the imagery/impressions it gave BUT the 1st stanza, to my eyes and ears, doesn't seem to belong. Well, the "my lord" bit anyway.
Impressionistic/picture painting/cinematic all fit the vibe and arrangement.
Cool stuff.
_________________________
Cheers rayc "What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com
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#555186 - 09/17/19 11:02 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 1809
Loc: Finland
Expert
Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 1809
Loc: Finland
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Hauntingly tangible poetry. Your singing is really emotional. I like the piano playing its own dark melancholy. Excellent use of string instruments.
Janne
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#555257 - 09/17/19 06:02 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Crossroads]
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Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 2472
Veteran
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 2472
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Love your vocal in this one, Robert, so fragile and delicate.
I found the lyrics to be disturbing to be honest, but they certainly held my attention! Very well written indeed.
Good song! Dave, Thanks for your listen and the endorsement of the vocal- its not easy to balance feeling and good technique sometimes. I think if folks don`t find the subject and lyrics at least uncomfortable in places I wouldn`t have succeeded, though I understand how this song could be outside the bounds for some. Wow Robert very emotional song. The backtrack was perfect for the song. Such a powerful lyric and awesome vocal. Well done.
Scott, Thank you-actually double-thanks because diving in to our next collaboration has helped me move on from this song. Hi Rob,
I have to pick up your song title to describe what I feel )lyrics like these UNSEEN before, a song like this UNHEARD before. It's really unusual in all aspects. Unusual in the sense of marvellous that is.
The way you sing it made got me some goose bumps - it's so soft and ... hm ... vulnerable.
An excellent piece from A to Z.
All the best,
Stefan That`s a cool review- thank you! Robert
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#555300 - 09/18/19 04:57 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 905
Expert
Registered: 08/21/18
Posts: 905
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"...and all I can do is write a song."
Lovely little band you've put together here. JUST enough to support. I'm quite stunned by the delicacy of the lyric (framed by your fragile vocal and rhythmic phrasing). I not only think this is the best lyric I've heard from you, but it may well be the best lyric of it's type I've heard anywhere.
Any time.
Ever.
That's all.
_________________________
BIAB 2019 Audiophile. Windows 10. Former user of old version. Prefer creating while learning over learning before creating. Passable, intermediate level acoustic rhythm guitar player. Songwriter, lyricist, composer loving all styles.
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#555328 - 09/18/19 07:30 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Unseen Unknown Unheard
[Re: Robertkc]
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Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 3845
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
Veteran
Registered: 03/02/13
Posts: 3845
Loc: Helsinki, Finland
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Hi, Robert !
How original isn´t your most lovely
tune ! Evoking a lot of emotions
really ! Congrats !
Cheers
Dani
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