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Hi everyone, This is a new song of me. Well, actually it is a year old, but I had it lying on a shelf. I rearranged it somewhat. The lyrics are a bit sensitive, but the music is more sunny and with nice sologitars in it. I hope you like it. It is called https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/its-on-me
The style I used is called Ditty. It's in Bm and the tempo is around 100 (102). I changed some instruments to shape it like I want it to sound: a bit Latin, a bit Funky within a Rock-Pop setting. I could be a bit wrong with this (I hesitate about that 'Rock') but you may help me with that. Oh, and if you have some critic on the song or whatever, please tell me. I like to learn. Best regards, Hans The lyrics: Its on me (c) HwBerkhout march 2018 -rearranged sept. 2019 I'm imprisoned inside my mind Don't know the way out, not in any kind My heart keeps yelling, what's happens to me? Can I reverse my life now, is there hope to see? Ooh, I felt trapped here in my own cage I cannot free me, not on my age It was that morning, it got on me Life can't be beaten, not by me No, it can't be beaten, not this time Hee, can you see me There is something I cannot say with words Have you heard my voice this morning I was feeding all my feelings to the birds It's on me, that I see =solo= I'm in an ocean of build-up fears No solution ready, so it appears But the voice inside me, the one I trust, Say things get better, that is a must Will the sun shine? Will I find life? Those who can tell me, had not arrive But still it happened, my life rearranged Time was the doctor, to help me change I now see that, just in time Hee, can you feel it There is something I cannot say with words Have you heard my voice this morning When feeding all my feelings to the birds? Ah, no! =solo= Hee, can you feel it There is something I cannot say with words Have you heard my voice this morning When feeding all my feelings to the birds? Did you notice I was smiling? My prison finally opened up its door I feel free for the first time Something I hadn't felt before So, come on and drink It's on me![color:#3333FF][/color]
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Hans, Cool song! Phrasing and arrangement is spot on. I liked The hand drums on this, makes whole thing smooth and gives a chance to focus on lyrics. "feeding all my feelings to the birds" I liked that. Mix is one of your best., but...(you asked  ) Arrangement has very accoustic feel: guitar and drums with a lot of intimate proximity, but vocals have a distant effect of a hall. I am not the guy to suggest proper mixing technique, but I think dryer vocals migh work better with the rest of arrangement. Enjoyed it! Thank you for sharing! Misha.
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Drier vocals, (most of the bottom end of them seems to be in the tail), as well as dropping the level of them a bit would suit my taste.
At present it sounds like you're in a different room and close to the mic.
The level and wetness of the solo should be your guide to settle the vocal then this good piece of writing will sound even better.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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First of all I really like this song! Very good writing, great vocal and I like your instrument choices too.
I agree with the other comments about the reverb on the vocal, drop that down a bit and it will be perfect.
But a minor quibble, and it didn't take away from my enjoyment of your song.
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Nicely done! I thought it flowed really well, and the instrumentation was unique and really lush. Love the upbeat groove on it, and thought your vocals went perfectly. Thanks for sharing
Cheers,
Deryk
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I agree, really rolled along nicely. The words were cool, but remained in perspective as musical elements. Congratulations!
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Nicely delivered big meaningful song , lyrically engaging with a great sound to go with it along the lines of Johnny cash as I hear it.
Thanks
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Enjoyable groove, has sort of folk mood, I would call this city folk, brings images of imigrants playing in New York. Great arrangement, I especially like that solo guitarist (could you provide the realtrack number?) and the djembe drum. Good vocals. And nice message about time as a doctor.
Janne
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Hi Hans,
Wow! I love this groove and it sits so very well with your vocals.
The intro was superb. You grabbed my attention right from the start and I didn't waver at any stage. In addition, your singing is excellent and through my headphones this morning it sounds confident, sincere and really well mixed with the backing.
The collection of Realtracks and Realdrums that you've used are awesome. I thoroughly enjoyed this musical journey.
All the best,
Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
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Hans, thoroughly enjoyable, great lyrics, creative and thought provoking.
This is really excellent all the way through.
The rhythmic undertones drive the music in an incredibly cool way. Excellent.
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Hans,
Quite a powerful piece, nicely composed and an excellent set of backing tracks.
Strong vocal performance.
Some nice mix tips in the comments.
Well done.
Peter
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Cool song Hans!! Very pleasant listen....catchy and very well arranged and produced! As you say, interesting contrast between music and lyrics. Nice job!! Take care. Greg
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Hey, we like that a lot!
Cool mixture of backing tracks.
I think it was Tom Adams who once told us that a sad song can sometimes be presented best
with a contrasting upbeat groove.
This is a good example of that.
The mix sounds super on our monitors.
Well done!
J&B
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Lots of "sad" songs have upbeat music. We just don't always notice until we listen closer. Subversion of expectation. This certainly ends "hopeful" and happy, and if you're buying, I'd like to show up. The band is fantastic and you carry the extra-fine lyric well. I really enjoyed this.
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Hans,
First off, terrific, just terrific vocal . . . but, yeah, just a slight downward adjustment on the reverb (it particularly shows in the latter half of the song), but otherwise it fits well with the rest of the tune. The instrumental supports this so well—really nice production touches on this. Good stuff!
My kindest regards,
Deej
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What a cool intro. Really cool mix on this song. The vocal and instruments really stood out. Super vocal as well
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Hello, 'Birchwood'...
Whatever the Real Tracks were that you applied to your song, It's On Me!, they combined to create a rhythm that was lively and attractive (Celtic, perhaps?). The small number of instruments lent a close, intimate feel to the music, which allowed the troubled lyrics to be heard clearly, in all their pain.
The singer (was it you?) delivered the lyrics in a voice that was intense, urgent, and unsparing. There is a 'nakedness' of emotion in the words that is barely contained. The experience of writing them must have been quite a personal 'trip', I imagine.
And yet, as you said, "...the music is a bit more sunny". That's true, and it provides an interesting contrast to the rather downbeat mood of the lyrics, as forum members 'Tangmo' and 'Greg Johnson' mentioned in their own comments on your song.
I found your production to be an arresting listening experience, 'Birchwood'!
Truly,
- bluage -
Last edited by bluage; 10/10/19 08:09 PM.
"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".
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Hi everyone,
I am sorry I couldn't respond earlier. I was on Cyprus and couldn't figure out what my password was for our forum.
But it is truly a very nice experience reading all your posts one after the other. Nice homecoming, so thanks!
Misha, Ray, Dave Peter and Deej56 mentioned that reverb-issue (beside your compliments about the song). I also read the majority of the 'posters' said it sounded good. So what to do now...? Nah, I will correct it, you are right.
Deryk, Ed, Noel and Scott, thanks for your nice words and mentioning the supervocals (Scott). Beware, I may walk beside my shoes now (a Dutch saying, or maybe in every language).
VideoTrack, Greg, Janice and Bud, Tangmo, you mentioned a sad song can sometimes be presented by an upbeat to make the message gets more attention. That's exactly what I wanted here. Otherwise it would be so depressing listening to it. But sometimes it is also nice to have a nice melancolic melody with sad lyrics. The other way around will never work, I think. And Tangmo, you are very welcome; it's on me!
Beatmaster heard something of Johnny Cash in this song. I have sent your reply to my son (a Johnny Cash-fan). I think/hope he will show me more respect now ;-), so thanks for that.
And last but not least, Janne an Bluage; Yes, I sing, write and compose all my songs myself. On some occassions I asked Joanne Cooper to sing or sing along. And there is allways something personall in the lyrics. In this song, you are right, there were some serious troubles but writing about it works out fine. And I don't want songs to end sad. There must always be something to hold on to...
And Bluage, you can call me Hans if you like. Birchwood is my familyname translated in English. I used it since the 70ths when having a band and making music.
The instruments I used are all real tracks: Bas 2620, Cello 3270, Drums DjembeKeita Sw16, guitar 1 2779, guitar 2 3251 (bariton, el), guitar 3 (solo) 597 Bluegrass and finally the violin 2453. The style is Ditty and the tempo is 102.
Thanks to all of you for your kind and interesting words,
Hans
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And Bluage, you can call me Hans if you like. Birchwood is my familyname translated in English. I used it since the 70ths when having a band and making music.
Dear 'birchwood'... 'Hans,' it is, then . Thank you! Sincerely, LOREN (a.k.a. 'bluage')
"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".
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Hans,
A cool sounding song. Interesting write.
The BAND that you chose is an excellent choice for the lyric.
I agree with the comments about the vocal - well done, but needs a little less volume and a little less reverb. The rest of the mix is good..
Again...a very interesting song and sound.
fj
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I enjoyed listening! Interesting arrangement, nice emotion in the vocal - a cross between Tom Waits and David Bowie (in the best possible way).
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Hi Hans,
rolling, flowing, swinging, rocking, grooving - well, if that ain't a song meeting my taste of music.
Like Bud wrote: A sad song can really go together with upbeat music very well. Awesome choice of backing tracks, the intro is stunning, your singing is just great. Some commented on the technical side of the vox recording - thinking back to your other songs I believe that you chose those somewhat unusual sounds intentionally - I take this as a very personal style. In the beginning I was a bit irritated, but now that I've heard more songs of yours I do like that approach.
Hans, once agains good lyrics - you always got something to say!!
Love it.
Take care,
Stefan
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Hi Loren (formerly known as bluage), Floyd, David and Stefan, I think I was too busy with my last song The Wind, with Joanne Cooper before leaving for holidays, that I forgot to reply on your posts. Sorry for that. That was not so polite of me. Almost all of you mentioned the volume and reverbthings. I did change it some time ago. Hopefully it's better by now. And you called it an interesting aarangement or song. I think I know what you mean with that. To me it's also a euphemism of a song that is not that nice or good. I hesitated some time to bring this song to SC and our form, in a way because of that, and I mean the lyrics. But the arrangement with those guitarsolo's were to nice (to me) to ignore. Therefore I placed it despite that. So Loren, thanks for this and for exchanging our first names. Floyd, I appreciate your comments on the volume and reverb, or whatever mistake I make with my songs. I learn from you! David, comparing me with Tom Waits and Bowie is a huge compliment (for them  ). And see what I answered about the 'interesting arrangement'. So thanks for this. But of course I'm supercurious what Stefan meant with what he wrote: 'in the beginning I was a bit irritated'. It's a pity you hadn't explained what causes that irritation. But it feels good I got you over that frustration level. Hans
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Song has a great groove - my foot is tapping along. The vocals are convincingly delivered to match the lyrics. Well done on arrangement, producing, and mixing. Enjoyed the listen.
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cool vibe you've set there with the words and the excellent choice of tracks to fit the vibe. Gypsy sad but uptempo.
I liked this.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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I really like the feeling & overall mood of this song...
And I see I'm not the only one impressed with the line...
"When feeding all my feelings to the birds?"...
That's a pretty cool image...
I also like the lead picking you included...
Very pleasant sounding to my ears...
All I can add is...
Another good one Hans!
Jim
†=☮&♥
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Hello Mark, Guitarhacker and Jim,
Thans for your comments and compliments.
Mark, I can see you do that tapping when the song is playing! I had two kittens in my studio and while making -say- this song I did the tapping as well and they enjoyed riding on my foot, Big fun. And nice what you said about the vocals.
Guitarhacker, 'Gypsy sad but uptempo', a nice way of discribing the song. Although, I was muzing abouth that word 'Gypsy'... But I think I understand how you meant it, also because you mentioned it a cool vibe. Thanks.
And Jim, to what I saw you must have had a very busy cople of days/ week listening to all the songs you missed. does your wife serve you your meals while you were sitting with the headphones on behind your pc? And can you sneak out once in a while to do a -little- nap?
Beside that picture I got of you, I also want to thank what you wrote. Yes, that line you refer too, actualy happened. I mean, I got more interested in some birds that were born in a tree nearby. I fed them then, and of course their parents. And the way they react on that was very nice. That image came to me when writing the lyrics. But here I used it of course in a sad way. Thanks Jim.
Hans
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Hello Jim,
Thans for your comments and compliments.
And Jim, to what I saw you must have had a very busy cople of days/ week listening to all the songs you missed. does your wife serve you your meals while you were sitting with the headphones on behind your pc? And can you sneak out once in a while to do a -little- nap?
Beside that picture I got of you, I also want to thank what you wrote. Yes, that line you refer too, actualy happened. I mean, I got more interested in some birds that were born in a tree nearby. I fed them then, and of course their parents. And the way they react on that was very nice. That image came to me when writing the lyrics. But here I used it of course in a sad way. Thanks Jim.
Hans Just trying to get caught up... Thanks for the back story about the line.
Jim
†=☮&♥
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Hello Hans ...
This is such a terrific song. I agree about the reverb ion the voice, but that doesn't detract from the quality of the song. The lyric and backing tracks are excellent! You write some really good stuff!!! Best to you ...
Alan
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