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#567952 - 12/01/19 04:37 PM [User Showcase] Canvas
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1346
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1346
Loc: Virginia USA
Canvas

I finally had some free time over the Thanksgiving break, so I put together this little song. It's about the false self-concept the mass media feeds us. The track sounds best loud. cool

Real Tracks:
RT381 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Syncopated Sugar
RT650 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopRockBritHeavy
RT632 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopAmericanMuted
RT686 Organ, B3, Background Pop
RC2586 Guitar, Electric, Soloist PunkMurray
RT995 Bass, Electric, HardRockLA
RealDrums-MetalClosedHat,BellRide

DAW Reaper, Vocals Nectar 3, Mastering Ozone 8


Lyrics:

Put away the face
You stole from a jar
You’re always afraid
Exoteric feathers and tar

I know I’m not a pretty woman
I know I’m not a handsome man
Don’t paint me beautiful on your canvas
The Lord made me who I am

No need for changing
All the silver into gold
You keep hanging
onto lies you’ve been sold

I know I’m not a pretty woman
I know I’m not a handsome man
Don’t paint me beautiful on your canvas
The Lord made me who I am

Window grazing palaces
Flickering crown jewels
simulating practices
Of Plasticine tinseled ghouls

I know you’re not a pretty woman
I know you’re not a handsome man
Won’t paint you beautiful on my canvas
Oh Lord guide my wayward hand

I know I’m not a pretty woman
I know I’m not a handsome man
Don’t paint me beautiful on your canvas
The Lord made me who I am

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#567960 - 12/01/19 05:09 PM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1247
Loc: Denmark
Will Josef Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1247
Loc: Denmark
Thanks for sharing this very good song! I really liked it.

There are passages where I feel the backing track is a bit low in volume compared with the vocals... or feels a bit disconnected. Maybe a bit more reverb on the vocals... or just using the same reverb on vocals and instruments will fix that. (I'm not an expert just saying what I think as a novice).

Will

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#568018 - 12/01/19 10:00 PM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 11/18/19
Posts: 362
Loc: Chicago, IL
EdZ314 Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 11/18/19
Posts: 362
Loc: Chicago, IL
Excellent song. I really like the background vocals and instruments with the vocals layering on top and blending really well. I always enjoy songs with a driving energy and you got it. Some good guitar soloing in there too - I wish there was more and even a little more aggressive on them, but that's just me smile




Edited by EdZ314 (12/01/19 10:01 PM)
_________________________
Ed Z

Soundcloud profile
https://soundcloud.com/user-415064494
BIAB user since 2019
iPad Mini, Garageband for iOS, BIAB for Windows 2020 UltraPAK, Xtra Styles packs 6-9, Windows 10 Lenovo PC, Kontakt Player, SpitFire LABS, SampleTank 4 CS, some Soundfonts



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#568026 - 12/01/19 11:01 PM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3080
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
rayc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3080
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
This is very Iggy Pop from the New values era.
The one thing that needs changing is that super fizzy guitar on the right.
Either a different guitar or try to EQ away some of the fizz.
You could pop in a cleaner guitar and use one of the free JS amps sims in Reaper to get a better tone.
The guitar on the other side is really cool.
There are occasions when your voice is a little loud.
Oh, the solo doesn't seem to belong on any level.
fabulous song though.
Ummm...esoteric


Edited by rayc (12/01/19 11:01 PM)
_________________________
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rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

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#568046 - 12/02/19 03:38 AM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: Will Josef]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1346
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1346
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: Will Josef
Thanks for sharing this very good song! I really liked it.

There are passages where I feel the backing track is a bit low in volume compared with the vocals... or feels a bit disconnected. Maybe a bit more reverb on the vocals... or just using the same reverb on vocals and instruments will fix that. (I'm not an expert just saying what I think as a novice).

Will


Thanks, Will. I'm not happy with the vocal in the mix and am working on it.

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#568047 - 12/02/19 03:39 AM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: EdZ314]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1346
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1346
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: EdZ314
Excellent song. I really like the background vocals and instruments with the vocals layering on top and blending really well. I always enjoy songs with a driving energy and you got it. Some good guitar soloing in there too - I wish there was more and even a little more aggressive on them, but that's just me smile




Ed, thanks for listening and for your comments.

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#568050 - 12/02/19 03:46 AM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: rayc]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1346
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1346
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: rayc
This is very Iggy Pop from the New values era.
The one thing that needs changing is that super fizzy guitar on the right.
Either a different guitar or try to EQ away some of the fizz.
You could pop in a cleaner guitar and use one of the free JS amps sims in Reaper to get a better tone.
The guitar on the other side is really cool.
There are occasions when your voice is a little loud.
Oh, the solo doesn't seem to belong on any level.
fabulous song though.
Ummm...esoteric


Thanks, Ray. Mixing is like writing an essay or a story: I have to set it aside and look at it (or listen to it)after a few days have passed. I am particularly not happy with the way the vocals sound in the mix.

I don't mean to come across as condescending; however, my intended word is "exoteric" not "esoteric." Exoteric is the opposite of esoteric. It means "suitable for or communicated to the general public." Esoteric would not fit the message of the lyric.

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#568070 - 12/02/19 07:05 AM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9367
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 9367
Loc: Florida
Good Rock write. Killer BAND.

Your vocal on this is strong! As other mention, they sometimes stand out too much (for a Rock song), but I'm not sure it is a volume issue. Some added reverb and delay might tuck it in the mix a bit, yet keep the clarity. Just a guess, of course..

LOVE that last yell.

The guitar solos are a bit loud.

Excellent rocker. Good subject choice with a strong lyric.

fj

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#568081 - 12/02/19 07:32 AM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 781
jptjptjpt Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 781
Outstanding use of BIAB. Great lyrics and vocals. I loved the back up singing during the chorus. Nice touch.

Good one!
_________________________
My latest video upload is a tongue-in-cheek country song called "I Won't Be Home Tonight":

https://youtu.be/JwblUfdbsEk

My music can be heard at: http://thecracks.bandcamp.com/

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#568083 - 12/02/19 07:44 AM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: floyd jane]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1346
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1346
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Good Rock write. Killer BAND.

Your vocal on this is strong! As other mention, they sometimes stand out too much (for a Rock song), but I'm not sure it is a volume issue. Some added reverb and delay might tuck it in the mix a bit, yet keep the clarity. Just a guess, of course..

LOVE that last yell.

The guitar solos are a bit loud.

Excellent rocker. Good subject choice with a strong lyric.

fj


Thanks, Floyd. Believe it or not, I get my best listen to the mix in my car, I can hear the balance better than through my head phones. Today, on my 50 minute drive to work, I could hear how loud the guitar solos were. Thanks for pointing that out. The unevenness of the vocal has perplexed me in trying to fix it. I'll be working on it later this week.
Scott

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#568084 - 12/02/19 07:45 AM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: jptjptjpt]
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1346
Loc: Virginia USA
Ezekiel's Storm Offline
Expert

Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 1346
Loc: Virginia USA
Originally Posted By: jptjptjpt
Outstanding use of BIAB. Great lyrics and vocals. I loved the back up singing during the chorus. Nice touch.

Good one!


Thanks, JPT. I appreciate the listen and the comments!

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#568106 - 12/02/19 08:57 AM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3860
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 3860
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Yeah, this is GREAT!

Vocals are just outstanding. You already have good feedback on the mix from floyd, so no need for me to add anything there.

Excellent song, excellent performance!

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#568114 - 12/02/19 09:32 AM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3121
Robertkc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3121
What a cool rebel yell to close your excellent vocal throughout - minor tweaks aside you nail this as far as I`m concerned.
I liked your song inspiration and follow through with sharp lyrics and a slight metal vibe to the backing works very well.
Liked this alot!

Robert

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#568239 - 12/02/19 05:23 PM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
Deryk - PG Music Offline
PG Music Staff

Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
What a tune! Your vocal soar on this, and I thought the lyrics worked wonderfully well with the delivery and tone of the song. The chorus hits hard too, and the entire song just flows perfectly well.

Thanks for sharing smile
_________________________
Cheers,
Deryk

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#568280 - 12/02/19 09:34 PM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3080
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
rayc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 3080
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
Originally Posted By: Ezekiel's Storm
[quote=rayc].
I don't mean to come across as condescending; however, my intended word is "exoteric" not "esoteric." Exoteric is the opposite of esoteric. It means "suitable for or communicated to the general public." Esoteric would not fit the message of the lyric.

Condescension - it was considered appropriate in Austen's England - it marked lines and station.
I thought esoteric suited the idea of putting the face (public) away, a little better. Universal or outside versus exclusive or secret.
It works both ways - your interpretation is the writer so you win.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com

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#568346 - 12/03/19 07:15 AM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 1445
Loc: Germany
Happy Birthday Crossroads Offline
Expert

Registered: 02/03/16
Posts: 1445
Loc: Germany
Hello Scott,

I already told you that I'm a huge fan of your song writing and this song is excellent, too. Loved the message, loved your vocals, almost adored your tiny backgrounf vocal fills. Perfect backing track.

When it comes to sound you can always discuss this and that and most likely Floyd's and Ray's suggestions might help to improve the sound, but I really enjoyed my listen a lot the way it sounded.

Really looking forward to your next song!

Take care,

Stefan

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#568355 - 12/03/19 07:34 AM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2845
Rustyspoon# Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 2845
Scott,
Excellent tune, very different from others I heard from you. Especially vocals. I do not know what you did, but they sound big and warm even in my headphones, which are on colder side. Positive and raw energy on this. Iggy Pop came to mind. Scrolling down, I saw that I was not alone seeing IP influence. Very good performance and production. To my taste this is one of your best, mainly because of how you recorded vocals. You have a strong voice, but in many other songs, I think it was curbed by EQ. I guess it is a matter of taste. Enjoyed it!

Thank you for sharing!

Misha.

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#568413 - 12/03/19 01:25 PM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 1944
Loc: Texas
Jim Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/16/00
Posts: 1944
Loc: Texas
I really like your vocal on this one...
It sounds pretty bold & fits the production nicely...
I also like your lyrics especially...
"Put away the face You stole from a jar"...
A very vivid line...

I'm pleased you found time to write one over Thanksgiving!
_________________________
Jim
†=☮&♥

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#568425 - 12/03/19 02:18 PM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 12/31/09
Posts: 139
Loc: Oklahoma
jimmadsen Offline
Apprentice

Registered: 12/31/09
Posts: 139
Loc: Oklahoma
TURN IT UP! Nice track
_________________________
--------------------

Jim
Oklahoma City, OK
https://SingingDogStudios.com/
https://soundcloud.com/singingdogstudios

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#568433 - 12/03/19 03:06 PM [User Showcase] Re: Canvas [Re: Ezekiel's Storm]
Registered: 07/11/15
Posts: 3337
Loc: Missouri
Torrey Bliss Offline
Veteran

Registered: 07/11/15
Posts: 3337
Loc: Missouri
Man I'm back in the 70's listening to Jethro Tull!!! Cool song Scott with some clever little twists! Creative work!! Thanks, Torrey
_________________________
Torrey Bliss
www.soundcloud.com/torrey-bliss



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