Registered: 05/12/12
Posts: 2633
Loc: South Africa
Hello Band-in-a-Box lovers
I was reading a post in the off-topic forum this morning and was motivated to post one of my recent songs in this forum. I am still writing fairly regularly and here is a song from this years 50 90 song-writing challenge. It was a co-write with Donna Levine.
Comments are most welcome
Lyrics: Like ev’ry kid I would study the sky Dazzled by stars The how the why
And I’d think to myself Oh WOW! There must be hundreds …Well, not even close
Don’t know who I am Just who I’ve been Through a prism that shows All I’ve done, all I’ve seen ...No stopping at what went before There’ll always be more
Like everyone I would study the heart Dazzled by love Especially the start
And I’d think to myself Oh WOW! It won’t be painful …Well, not even close
Chorus Only two questions concern me now …Whether I’m a tumbleweed Or an angel still on course directionless Or returning to the Source
Chorus Don’t know who I am Just who I’ve been Through a prism that shows All I’ve done, all I’ve seen ...No stopping at what went before There’ll always be more
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Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 2580
Loc: Stanwell Park NSW Australia
LOVELY harmonies as usual. A very strong melody and a very fine vocal performance.
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Cheers rayc "What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe Pop on over to The Recording Rebels for positive, honest commentary, critiques and support. https://therecordingrebels.com
Great vocals a la Judy Collins/Joan Baez, and a well-written song with lines like:
Like everyone I would study the heart Dazzled by love Especially the start
I love economical language that says a lot. Great job.
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Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
Strong and wonderful vocals. I love the melody, and the lyrics. There are plenty of quotable lines, but this one really got my attention: Dazzled by love Especially the start
That's a very emotional, though strong song you made. Very nice melody and so well performed. The vocals are -as always- very good! I sometimes think about our 'project'time. Nice times that were...
As Ray mentioned, you have been away too long. Miss you
Really enjoyed my listen. Beautiful vocal. Nice, smooth melody and song movement. Especially liked: Tumbleweed/angel pairing...directionless/returning to the source....great lines!
Pretty song Joanne!! Lovely melody and a thoughtful lyric! You have the perfect voice for this kind of tune, and the production sounds great!! Take care. Greg
Registered: 05/05/18
Posts: 897
Loc: United Kingdom
Ah!!! A melodious song ... I love this kind, especially because I, for one, find it very hard to write melodies ... I prefer chords, etc., so ... very impressed when someone writes melodies this well and makes it sound so, so easy.
Stunning lyrics, too. "Don't know who I am, only who I've been" is probably up there with one of the greatest philosophical realisations. I, too, think that we never indeed know who we fully are, only who we have been - and this is directly and so beautifully expressed here.
Finally, the voice is as clear as a spring and totally secure in its technical elements ... intonation, tone control, etc. - as well as so expressive musically.
Strong Joan Baez vibe throughout. Very nice lyric tying in the underestimations of youth with the realities of maturity. A solid package of listening goodness.
If I have a crit is would be your phrasing choice in the chorus--holding such a long note under "at". I think you could find a way to rephrase that line to break away momentarily from strictly following the rolling groove. Just an observation.
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BIAB 2020 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 814
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Joanne,
Just a super lovely (and powerful) vocal, with some great harmonic touches. And a nice write and solid production—the total package. Excellent tune—enjoyed it a lot!
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