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#618029 - 10/06/20 10:41 AM
[User Showcase]
I'm The One To Blame
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Registered: 04/09/18
Posts: 4
Loc: United Kingdom
Newbie
Registered: 04/09/18
Posts: 4
Loc: United Kingdom
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A song about lost love and wishing I could have handled it better https://soundcloud.com/user-630435717I'm The One To Blame******************* Style is _CHILPOP.STY (Electronic Chillout Pop) Style MIDI Instruments are : Finger Electric Bass (34), Acoustic Piano (1), RealTracks in style: 1004:Guitar, 12-String Acoustic, Rhythm ClassicRockStrumming Ev16 065 RealTracks in style: 1542:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopBelieve Ev16 065 RealDrums in Song: PraiseWorshipShine^03-a:Kick, HiHat , b:Snare, HiHat Slightly Open Each track exported from BiaB individually into Mixcraft and from there EQ messed. The electric guitar solo was the only instrument 'played' by me and was recorded inside Mixcraft with Compression, distortion and reverb added. Vocals have compression and reverb. Mastered by a friend but I've no idea what he did. ******************* Lyrics V1 I saw your train pull out from the station back in June I watched it disappear into the distance Now the winter's crept in slowly there's frost upon the window Through which I stare, but you're not there V2 I read your letter often to try and understand What I said or did to make you go back to Versailles And I look back on that summer before you went away This is the bottom line, the sun don't shine Chorus Cos I've not see the sun since you went away Summer through to winter just the same The sun no longer shines, they're all just cold, dark winter days That remind me daily I'm the one to blame Bridge Goodbye my angel, there are other worlds to fly. If time’s a healer, why is there no change as it goes by? My memories don’t fade, I can’t see how they’ll erase. This is the life I’ve made, vous êtes allé V3 The day before I wrote this was grey just like the one Before it and the one before that too My world is never changing, no colour sun or you Why did you have to go and stop the show? Copyright John C Williams 2018 Comments welcome
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#618067 - 10/06/20 05:29 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 4939
Veteran
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 4939
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John, Very good composition, lyrically and musically! Excellent vocals. Listens very well. Mix is very solid also, however since you are open to comments, vocals are a bit on high frequency to my ears. Perhaps D-esser will smooth edges? Just opinion of average ear  Thank you for sharing. Misha.
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#618094 - 10/06/20 11:07 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 5912
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
Veteran
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 5912
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
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Your voice makes the song sound like The Lightning Seeds...the melody & melancholy lyrics enhance that.
I's have preferred the solo up the centre.
Your vocal is a little too low in the mix and definitely needs the sibilant stuff addressed.
Cool stuff.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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#618145 - 10/07/20 07:36 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 05/30/20
Posts: 1466
Loc: Belgium
Expert
Registered: 05/30/20
Posts: 1466
Loc: Belgium
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Hello J. Williams,
Nice lyrics. Your voice allows us to enter the atmosphere you wanted to create. Very sensitive melody from these harmonics and this well-paced piano.
Kindly regard
Dero13
alias JaniJackFlash
_________________________
Kindly regards
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
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#618146 - 10/07/20 07:37 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 01/06/20
Posts: 1749
Loc: Illinois
Expert
Registered: 01/06/20
Posts: 1749
Loc: Illinois
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Nice!
Airy vocals fit well.
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#618155 - 10/07/20 08:34 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
PG Music Staff
Registered: 02/15/17
Posts: 3414
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Nice work - really liked the lyrics, and thought your vocals delivered them perfectly. A very atmosphere tune, definitely has a melancholic vibe to it which I'm personally drawn towards. Thanks for sharing
_________________________
Cheers,
Deryk
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#618223 - 10/07/20 03:06 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 2144
Loc: Maryland
Veteran
Registered: 02/20/10
Posts: 2144
Loc: Maryland
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Good song, vocals were good but felt like they either needed to be louder or processed differently to bring them out more. A fine effort overall.
_________________________
Windows 10, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 6i6, Komplete keyboard, Sony Acid Music Studio 11, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
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#618232 - 10/07/20 03:29 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3357
Veteran
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3357
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John,
A well constructed song with strong vocals and a consistent down but not out feel.
Some good comments by others on the vocal processing.
I enjoyed the introduction to your music!
Robert
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#618241 - 10/07/20 04:09 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 2376
Loc: Virginia USA
Veteran
Registered: 09/02/18
Posts: 2376
Loc: Virginia USA
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I like this song! Lyrics, melody, instrumentation, and vocal.
Keep 'em coming.
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#618242 - 10/07/20 04:44 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 5301
Loc: Sydney Australia
Veteran
Registered: 12/06/03
Posts: 5301
Loc: Sydney Australia
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John
Welcome to the forum.
Nice first post - very melodic and well performed, with some nice chord changes and dynamics.
Vocals could come up a bit (and the start of the solo as well).
Excellent work.
Peter
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#618963 - 10/13/20 05:10 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6793
Loc: Davis, CA
Veteran
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6793
Loc: Davis, CA
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A nice song and good band for it!! You sing it well, but I feel your vocal is a bit too buried in the mix. Some really nice emotion in this!! Enjoyed!! Take care. Greg
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#633414 - 12/30/20 09:17 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 04/09/18
Posts: 4
Loc: United Kingdom
Newbie
Registered: 04/09/18
Posts: 4
Loc: United Kingdom
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Thanks for all the comments and I apologise for leaving it so long to reply. A bit of time off work at Christmas has helped me get round to a lot of things that needed attending to.
The guy who did the mastering did mention sibilance and worked on that, but maybe there was a limit on how much he could do with the raw product.
Your comments have encouraged me.
Thanks again
John
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#633617 - 12/31/20 08:59 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 7267
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Veteran
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 7267
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
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Welcome to the forum. Very cool vocal and lyric. Look forward to hearing more of your tunes. Well done
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#633631 - 12/31/20 10:01 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1681
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
Expert
Registered: 04/23/18
Posts: 1681
Loc: Mill Valley, California USA
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John,
Overall, I really like the sound and feel of this one. Musically, the instrumental sounds really solid to me. Very strong chorus and like that lead solo before the bridge. You’ve already received some good feedback on the vocal—I’d generally agree with most of that, and particularly that the vocal needs to come forward a bit. Good stuff!
Have a Happy New Year.
Deej
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#634161 - 01/03/21 11:43 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 07/11/15
Posts: 4996
Loc: United States
Veteran
Registered: 07/11/15
Posts: 4996
Loc: United States
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Very nice song John! Great job on the vocal (maybe could use a boost). Loved that intro and clever little melodic twists in the chorus! Welcome aboard! T
_________________________
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#634268 - 01/03/21 07:52 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 16877
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Veteran
Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 16877
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
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Absolutely enjoyable, great mix of the instruments, perfect drive, excellent vocal delivery, although vocals could sit slightly more forward in the mix.
There really is a lot to like about this composition and production.
Well done.
_________________________
BIAB & RB2023 Win.(Audiophile), SonarPlatinum, Izotope Prod.Bundle, Roland RD-1000, SynthogyIvory, Kontakt, Focusrite 18i20, KetronSD2, NS40M Monitors, Pioneer ActiveMonitors, AKG K271 Studio H'phones
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#634530 - 01/05/21 05:06 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1520
Loc: Charlotte, NC
Expert
Registered: 12/29/10
Posts: 1520
Loc: Charlotte, NC
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Solid composition, good production… I’ll leave comments on the mix up to my forum friends who are more proficient in that area.
I do have some feedback on two fronts: first, I think that the transition from verse two into the chorus should have some more differentiation, for example a change in the drum track or percussion to set it off for the ear.
Secondly, I have kind of a problem with the lyric. If I wasn’t reading it, I would be quite confused by your use of the word “Versailles” and the little French phrase at the end of the bridge. Without seeing the words, and just using the ear, I’m not sure that the listener would pick up what you have written. A suggestion might be to change the title of the song to that little French phrase, or make a subtitle, in parentheses, something like “What I lost in Versailles”… That way, you give the listener a cue that there was some French content coming up that they should be ready to hear.
Just some friendly feedback aside from my enjoyment of your track!
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#635371 - 01/09/21 12:24 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: Tano Music]
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Registered: 04/09/18
Posts: 4
Loc: United Kingdom
Newbie
Registered: 04/09/18
Posts: 4
Loc: United Kingdom
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Thanks for the advice, I've changed the title to I'm The One To Blame (What I Lost to Versailles) now. Good idea which I hadn't thought of.
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#635869 - 01/11/21 06:08 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6793
Loc: Davis, CA
Veteran
Registered: 12/21/13
Posts: 6793
Loc: Davis, CA
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Cool song!! Nice melody, cool lyrics, and really nice vocal and arrangement!! Has a bit of a Beatles vibe I think....always a good thing in my book! Enjoyed it!! Take care. Greg
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#636115 - 01/12/21 08:44 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: I'm The One To Blame
[Re: J Williams]
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Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 676
Loc: Canberra, Australia
Journeyman
Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 676
Loc: Canberra, Australia
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Hi John
Very melodic and engaging, with some nice changes. Enjoyed it.
Regards,
Leon
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