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#642229 02/15/21 01:32 AM
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vicarn Offline OP
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My Nashville pal Mackie sent me a lyric called "Third rate romance".
I played with the lyric for a couple of days before I could come up with some sort of melody.

The only big part of the lyric I changed was the title (unusual for me) :-).
The lead guitar is meant to be a wistful reminder of that night.
Vic

https://soundcloud.com/vic-arnold/a-one-night-romance

A ONE NIGHT ROMANCE
© 2021 Mackie Humphries & Vic Arnold

I remember bright neon lights.
Still hear those blues playin' through the night
in Memphis where we met by chance,
she had me thinkin' a lifelong dance
She hooked me in with cat green eyes
then led me on with jaded lies
Had me believin’ by midnight
she had found her Mister right.
But ...
CH
All my friends knew she’d deceive
In mornin’ light she’d up and ... leave
but this cowboy's still ridin’ high
A one night romance needs no goodbye

BR
I weren't the first. Won't be the last
out of the shute a movin’ too fast

GUITAR SOLO

CH
Even my friends knew she’d deceive
In mornin’ light she’d up and leave
One more cowboy still ridin’ high
A one night romance needs no goodbye

BR
I’m not the first won’t be the last
out of the shute a movin’ too fast

CH
Even my friends knew she’d deceive
In mornin’ light she’d up and leave
One more cowboy still ridin’ high
A one night romance needs no goodbye

Bass = 3584
Acoustic Guitars = 3716, 3758
Drums = Nashville radiopop
Oohs = 3027
Electric Guitar = 3726

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Nice write, catchy chorus and good arrangement as well. laugh


A couple of nits to ignore. I know, it's bad form to suggest changes, especially when it wasn't requested.

"I weren't the first" has a nice consonance between weren't and first, but it sort of sticks out.

"Weren't the first. Ain't the last" doubles down on the colloquialism, but softens it a bit.

On "All my friends knew she’d deceive", you're a bit soft on the /V/ in deceive, so I mis-heard the line as All my friends knew she did see. Yeah, my kids complain that I'm deaf, but it's mostly that I'm not paying attention to them. wink

It sets up a storyline that seems to me as being needlessly complex:

  • The singer is out for the evening with a group of all his friends listening to blues music in Memphis.
  • He meets a woman by chance, and they hit it off.
  • All his friends are so concerned about her that they warn him she'll leave him

And it raises all sort of logistic questions for me, like:

  • Did the singer live in Memphis? If not, why are "all" his friends there?
  • How did his friends form an opinion about this woman so quickly? Were they listening in on the conversation? Why did they all feel they needed to give their opinions?
  • At what point did they all tell him she wasn't trustworthy? Did she have to go powder her nose or something?

I think something like "Though I wanted to believe" simplifies things a bit. wink

As I said, they're just nits. If I write this much, it means I like the song, not the other way around. So feel free to ignore the comments and just know you've gotten me engaged in the song!

Thanks for posting, I enjoyed the song! smile


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Vic,
I like the catchy chorus, especially the "out of the chute" line and the country-rock arrangement fits the song .
You deliver the story well, though listening on `phones I found the vocal almost too upfront if you get my drift- could be a mic placement thing or maybe the vocal needs to go back into the mix a little.

Robert

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vicarn Offline OP
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Hi David.
Food for thought.

"Weren't the first, Ain't the last". That sounds fine.
I had another listen to the "deceive" and it sounds alright to me but the V in "leave" I think could be boosted.

Your questions about the story I think you provided reasonable answers for them yourself and there are others
that could be used, such as:
the singer and his friends were in a touring band and the girl was known to one or two or even more of them so I will leave that to the listener's interpretation. Mackie would probably have a different answer.

I am pleased that you were interested enough to raise those questions and thank you for listening and taking the time to comment.

Vic

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vicarn Offline OP
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Thank you Robert.
I do have a habit of placing my vocal way out front so you could be right there.
I have a friend who tells me that's how she likes it but I'll go back to it tomorrow and see if I can adjust a little.

Vic

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Hi Vircan

Beautiful construction where the voice and the guitar are in perfect symbiosis. The arrangement is pleasant and the double voice on certain passages is well put. It's pleasant. I appreciated.

Kindly regard
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash


Kindly regards
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
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Excellent song. Loved the intro. Super vocal and lyric. Well done


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
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vicarn Offline OP
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Hi Derochette.
Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Vic

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Your voice hit me first thing. Johnny Cash-like. The guitar solo reminds me of Brian May.

A top, top notch, hard-hitting production. Some say I'm easily pleased, but I tell you, I have nothing to criticise - so I have to be honest and call it as I see it. Top, top notch - bravo.

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Hi Vic
A fine slice of country rock with an infectious chorus. (Probably a good call to change the title, to avoid confusion with the Amazing Rhythm Aces song of the same name.) Matter of preference, but personally I like where your vocal sits in the mix.
Regards,
Leon

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vicarn Offline OP
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Thanks Musician17 for that very generous comment.
Johnny Cash will is fine by me. I was a fan of his since a kid when I saw him on TV in 1959.
I later got to meet him on a radio show.

Vic

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vicarn Offline OP
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Thank you Scott.
Good to hear that.

Vic

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Very strong opening with that acoustic and lead. And from there the lyrics, melody, vocals and harmony add to the strength. Excellent and dynamic arrangement. Very much enjoyed, Vic.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub
and https://soundcloud.com/babumusic-5080285
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vicarn Offline OP
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Hi Leon.
I'm glad you said "Country Rock" for the genre. It's what I called it but I'm not very good at deciding genres.
Who invented genres anyway? :-)

Thanks for your comment.

Vic

Last edited by vicarn; 02/17/21 03:31 AM.
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vicarn Offline OP
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Hi Marty.
Thanks for that.
I'm glad you liked the lead. It was mentioned on another forum that the lead didn't fit the genre. (whatever that may mean).

Vic

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Vic
You did great with the lyrics and music!!!!!

I almost gave up trying to sign PG Music--I had purchased BIAB years ago and forgot my onfo--Had to use my 2nd location email: mackie22@comcast.net--This is my first time on this forum! There's a lot of activity on this one---A GOOD SHOWAND PERFORMANCE!

Mackie22

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Nice Vic. The word pleasant comes to mind.

No reason here to parse it all out.

We hear a nice laid back country rock ballad with an effective vocal, arrangement and write.

And the drums sound really good.

Enjoyed it!

J&B

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vicarn Offline OP
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Hi Mackie. Glad you found your way back.
This is a good site for good feedback.

The lyrics were 99.9% yours so thank you for letting me loose on them.

Vic

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vicarn Offline OP
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Thank you J&B. I hope it's "pleasant" in a good way.
I was a little confused by "parse" and had to look it up.
Imagine that, all my years on this planet and i hadn't come across that word before.
Now I'll be using it a lot. I may even write it into the next song. :-)

I appreciate your taking the time again to comment.
Thanks again.

Vic

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Good song, I like your vocal and to my ears it's sitting just about where it should be in the mix.

Love the chorus!

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