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#656059 - 05/18/21 03:16 PM [User Showcase] Song of the Old
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3323
Robertkc Offline
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Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3323

Seems to this oldster just starting out, that there are lots of upsides to ageing; you get more time if you`re lucky for creativity, idiosyncrasies are forgivable, you are hopefully a little streetwiser...that`s a song I might write, and will be more cheerful than this, which was written partly in a dream.

Song of the Old


Style is _PEACE.STY (Peacefully Stringed Ballad)

RealTracks in style: ~2482:Bass, Acoustic, Bowed Held Ev 085
RealTracks in style: 2820:Harp, Rhythm ClassicalSlow8ths Ev 085
RealTracks in song: 2870:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm CelticAirDave Ev 085
RealTracks in style: 2335:String Quartet, Rhythm PopHall Ev 085
RT3267 cello RT 1856 cello



Song of the Old


will you write the song of the old
the way it really is
the innocence of a shy melody
the awkwardness of silences
it hurts too much to behold
will you write the song of the old

I dreamt you had fallen
you couldn`t stand
strangers taking
the ship you made with your hands

will you write the song of a child
the way it really is
with so many wise almost words
sung in uncertain voices
by a rhyme the heart is beguiled
will you write the song of a child

seeing you now
through curtains of then
floating your boat for beginnings
shaking a stick at the end
only a child can write the song of the old

will you write the song of the old
the way it really is
the way it really is


© Robert Cordrey April 2020

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#656092 - 05/18/21 07:20 PM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 4308
Rustyspoon# Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 4308
Robert,
beautiful harmonies!
Deep subject. Poetry and delivery are amazing!

"seeing you now
through curtains of then"

"only a child can write the song of the old"

Excellent!

Very good mix. A nice step back, an "exhale" from more complex and busy compositions.
Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

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#656107 - 05/19/21 02:45 AM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 4598
Loc: Ontario, Canada
BlueAttitude Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 4598
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Robert, this is wonderful!

Man, that vocal ... so vulnerable! Great job on the harmonies too.

I like your instrument choices, and the mix sounds great through the 'phones.

Enjoyed my listens!

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#656109 - 05/19/21 02:59 AM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 5373
Loc: New York
rsdean Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 5373
Loc: New York
Robert,

Complex and beautiful...

A stunning song and vocal. You are one of my favorites here on the forum.

Love the track selection as well - perfectly frames the song.

"I dreamt you had fallen
you couldn`t stand
strangers taking
the ship you made with your hands"

Outstanding lyrics...

Bob

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#656112 - 05/19/21 04:44 AM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 16411
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
AudioTrack Offline
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Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 16411
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Sometimes when you write a Song of the Old, your are unwittingly writing a Song of the New.

The delicacy of this delivery is no exception.
_________________________
BIAB & RB2023 Win.(Audiophile), SonarPlatinum, Izotope Prod.Bundle, Roland RD-1000, SynthogyIvory, Kontakt, Focusrite 18i20, KetronSD2, NS40M Monitors, Pioneer ActiveMonitors, AKG K271 Studio H'phones

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#656129 - 05/19/21 07:33 AM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10676
Loc: Florida
floyd jane Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10676
Loc: Florida
Robert,

Really enjoyed this.

Nice write.

"with so many wise almost words
sung in uncertain voices"

"by a rhyme the heart is beguiled
will you write the song of a child"

...my favorite lines.

Excellent production. The tracks carry the song perfectly.

Your vocal is a delight. Smooth, comfortable (an important quality), heartfelt. And excellent harmonies.

Really well done.

fj

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#656180 - 05/19/21 01:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 7000
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Scott C Offline
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Registered: 12/08/11
Posts: 7000
Loc: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Very nice Robert the cello and piano sound very nice together. Excellent vocal and harmonies. Well done

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#656195 - 05/19/21 03:08 PM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 05/05/18
Posts: 1625
Loc: United Kingdom
musician17 Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/05/18
Posts: 1625
Loc: United Kingdom
Oh WOW.

The lyrics. Your vibrato. The LYRICS. The music and the performance of it.

One of the very, very best songs I've ever heard on here, by far.

Still shaking.

Bravo, standing ovation, hats off. SUPERB song.
_________________________
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#656267 - 05/20/21 05:55 AM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 05/27/19
Posts: 2360
Loc: Dallas, PA, USA
BabuMusic Offline
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Registered: 05/27/19
Posts: 2360
Loc: Dallas, PA, USA
I was quite happy with the song right from the beginning, then WOW those harmonies grabbed the proverbial ladder and brought it to magical heights, Robert. Outstanding vocals and a brilliant song idea. I also like the one you suggested about the upside of aging.
_________________________
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marty

Babu Music on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLDrsXTXfShgnGalQZ0ElQw
Me on SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub

My website: http://martystraub.com/

using Band in a Box, Reaper, Cakewalk, Ozone 10

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#656311 - 05/20/21 09:49 AM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: AudioTrack]
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3323
Robertkc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3323
Originally Posted By: Rustyspoon#
Robert,
beautiful harmonies!
Deep subject. Poetry and delivery are amazing!

"seeing you now
through curtains of then"

"only a child can write the song of the old"

Excellent!

Very good mix. A nice step back, an "exhale" from more complex and busy compositions.
Thank you for sharing.

Misha.



Misha,
Very kind comments- thank you!


Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
Robert, this is wonderful!

Man, that vocal ... so vulnerable! Great job on the harmonies too.

I like your instrument choices, and the mix sounds great through the 'phones.

Enjoyed my listens!


Thanks Dave,
I appreciate your comments- especially on the vocal as I recorded in other keys before
settling on this version.

Originally Posted By: rsdean
Robert,

Complex and beautiful...

A stunning song and vocal. You are one of my favorites here on the forum.

Love the track selection as well - perfectly frames the song.

"I dreamt you had fallen
you couldn`t stand
strangers taking
the ship you made with your hands"

Outstanding lyrics...

Bob


Bob,
Having sat on this one for several years trying to get the chorus melody & harmonies right its very encouraging to read such supportive comments; thank you!

Originally Posted By: VideoTrack
Sometimes when you write a Song of the Old, your are unwittingly writing a Song of the New.

The delicacy of this delivery is no exception.



I appreciate your listen and positive thoughts.


Robert

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#656316 - 05/20/21 10:55 AM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 6694
Loc: North Carolina
David Snyder Offline
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Registered: 08/29/14
Posts: 6694
Loc: North Carolina

This is beautiful Robert.

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#656335 - 05/20/21 11:58 AM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 05/30/20
Posts: 1298
Loc: Belgium
Derochette Offline
Expert

Registered: 05/30/20
Posts: 1298
Loc: Belgium
Hi Robertkc,

Very soft song from your lyrics as well as from your very soft musical accompaniment. The second voice is very well placed. The quarted strings works wonderfully.Well done.I appreciated.

Kindly regard
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash

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#656370 - 05/20/21 05:03 PM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 658
Loc: Canberra, Australia
Leon1 Offline
Journeyman

Registered: 04/02/19
Posts: 658
Loc: Canberra, Australia
My heart was beguiled by this one. Beautiful work, Robert.
Regards,
Leon

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#656371 - 05/20/21 05:08 PM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 5091
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
rayc Online   content
Veteran

Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 5091
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
The arrangement holds your voice at its center really well.
Sensitive lyric, sensitive rendition, sensitive topic - all done really well.
There's a little proximity effect on the vocal in spots but that's to be expected for such an intimate vocal.
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe

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#656387 - 05/20/21 07:22 PM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 1081
jptjptjpt Offline
Expert

Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 1081
A very bitter-sweet song. Lovely vocals. You found a beautiful melody. Nice music by the band. I like it.
_________________________
My music can be heard at: The Cracks

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#656396 - 05/20/21 10:37 PM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5496
Loc: Sacramento, California
dcuny Offline
Veteran

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5496
Loc: Sacramento, California
Starting with cello and piano hooks me in, and you're pleading lyrics match your voice. Nice harmonies! This shift to the minor chord works nicely, and the strings in the background is very cool. The voice and cello weave together, with the strings giving a lift.

Soft and sad. Nice write as well! laugh
_________________________
-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

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#656549 - 05/22/21 01:25 AM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 18011
Loc: Australia
Noel96 Offline
Veteran

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 18011
Loc: Australia
Hi Robert,

This is truly splendid listening.

I love the ambience you create with your backing and your singing. I'm just trying to think of how to describe the effect you had on me but I can't. Words that popped into my mind included: wonderful, mystical, nostalgic, reminiscing, haunting, fragile, tender. Maybe these words are sufficient to give you some insight into the impact your song had on me. I hope so.

I really loved the harmonies.

You've made something very special here.

All the best,
Noel
_________________________
LINKS TO MY BIAB/RB SONGS


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#656700 - 05/23/21 10:29 AM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: David Snyder]
Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3323
Robertkc Offline
Veteran

Registered: 06/09/16
Posts: 3323
Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Robert,

Really enjoyed this.

Nice write.

"with so many wise almost words
sung in uncertain voices"

"by a rhyme the heart is beguiled
will you write the song of a child"

...my favorite lines.

Excellent production. The tracks carry the song perfectly.

Your vocal is a delight. Smooth, comfortable (an important quality), heartfelt. And excellent harmonies.

Really well done.

fj


Really appreciate that, Floyd; I dithered on the vocal for a while, wondering if it conveyed too much emotion, so its good to read your endorsement.



Originally Posted By: Scott C
Very nice Robert the cello and piano sound very nice together. Excellent vocal and harmonies. Well done


Thanks Buddy!

Originally Posted By: musician17
Oh WOW.

The lyrics. Your vibrato. The LYRICS. The music and the performance of it.

One of the very, very best songs I've ever heard on here, by far.

Still shaking.

Bravo, standing ovation, hats off. SUPERB song.





James,
You have been extremely generous in your appreciation once again...maybe we all need at least one listener to "get" the feeling our songs are intended to convey in order to keep going at the craft; thank you very much;your comments mean a great deal to me.



Originally Posted By: BabuMusic
I was quite happy with the song right from the beginning, then WOW those harmonies grabbed the proverbial ladder and brought it to magical heights, Robert. Outstanding vocals and a brilliant song idea. I also like the one you suggested about the upside of aging.


Marty,
Thanks! I`ll keep my notes on that "upsides of ageing" song and see what happens.

Originally Posted By: David Snyder

This is beautiful Robert.


Thank you for listening David.

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#656710 - 05/23/21 12:30 PM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 1193
Loc: Washington State
bluage Offline
Expert

Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 1193
Loc: Washington State
Dear 'Robertkc'...

Imaginatively observed narrative, wistful in feeling and tone, sensitively and warmly orchestrated, and sung as though each word of the lyrics were composed one day at a time throughout the long, eventful life of the song's subject.


Edited by bluage (05/23/21 12:36 PM)
_________________________
"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".

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#656992 - 05/25/21 01:32 PM [User Showcase] Re: Song of the Old [Re: Robertkc]
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 12522
Loc: GA USA
Janice & Bud Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 12522
Loc: GA USA
"seeing you now
through curtains of then
floating your boat for beginnings
shaking a stick at the end
only a child can write the song of the old"

The entire package is very poignant but the above really sums it up. Your tender vocal, the harmonies, the cello and piano all work so well together to create this all too "real life" imagery.

"by a rhyme the heart is beguiled"

That line is powerful and so true and you are a great poet indeed!

Excellent!

J&B
_________________________
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J&B Soundcloud
J&B Website

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