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#662250 06/28/21 02:20 PM
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The Skies Burn

I wrote this song over a year ago...had my daughter in mind. I went through a couple different keys and instrumentation until I came up with this.

Band:
RT2336 Viola
RT3733 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm GrungeRockArp
RT691 Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming AcRockBright
RT2585 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PunkHeldPlus
RT3458 Bass, Electric, AmericanaPop
Some guitar loops
Drums are loops from DOD Indie Pop



What will I leave you, my child
I’ve struggled for my life
I will leave you my faith and prayers

The skies burn
The waters rise
Can no one discern
The deceiver is wearing no disguise

What can I give you, my child
You always have my heart
I can give you my memories

The skies burn
The waters rise
Can no one discern
The deceiver is wearing no disguise

What have I taught you, my child
From watching what I do
Clothe, feed, and love all those who need

The skies burn
The waters rise
Can no one discern
The deceiver is wearing no disguise

What can I leave you, my child?

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Very good composition and mix and excellent choice of instruments. It all fits very well together.

The lyrics are great and hit that sweet spot between being sad or optimistic... you have such a great talent for doing this!

Will

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Scott

Lovely work, enjoyed the production.

Excellent vocal and nice choice of the viola, added even more gravity to the song.

Liked the lyric, powerful.

Great song.

Peter

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Loved this song. Excellent lyric. As always just an excellent vocal. Acoustic framed the vocal perfectly. Well done


Scott Collingwood
https://soundcloud.com/scottt709
https://soundcloud.com/spiritlevel-ca
https://www.youtube.com/@SpiritLevel-ge3hm/
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I agree with the others posters - nice arrangement, and the viola really works well here.

Nice harmonies at the end!


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Nice contrast between the vs and ch. Great vocal delivery and balance on the arrangement.

Thanks for sharing.

James

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Hi Scott,

this is a really, really good one!!!.

A great and meaningful write, a beautiful composition (oh, love that exciting contrast between the verses and the choruses, a tasteful backing track, ace vocals and a clear mix.

Love it !

Stay safe,

Stefan

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Really good, Scott!

Excellent vocal throughout. Love the chorus, very strong, also the viola really works.

One of your best, enjoyed!

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Scott,

This is excellent - mysterious and haunting...

Love the track mix and your vocal. A great recorded piece of music.

Loved it.

Bob

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Beautiful message to your daughter, Ezekiel. Heck, it's the perfect message for each generation to pass to the next. Great dynamics in the song, too. You already know I believe your voice can do no wrong, and I'm right.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub
and https://soundcloud.com/babumusic-5080285
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Hi Scott. A strong write and really well sung, as usual. Excellent instrumental choices. Hard not to be concerned for the next generation, but I guess every generation feels that way.
Regards,
Leon

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Scott,

Nice write. The whole thing has a terrific indie-theatre-Rock feel.

Excellent vocals and harmonies.

Outstanding BAND! And an excellent mix.

Good job all around.

fj

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Will, Peter, Scott, David C., James, Stefan, Dave, Bob, Mary, Leon, and Floyd:

Thank you for listening to my track and taking the time to leave a comment. I appreciate it muchly much! grin

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'Ezekiel's Storm'...

To my senses, your song seems to exist on two levels of feelings: the desire to gift a child with something from that part of the giver's existence that is (hopefully) eternal and useful. And then, there seems to me to be an expression of doubt, or insecurity, perhaps, and about what I am not sure. Nonetheless, the tension between the two levels of feeling is sharp, vivid, like light and darkness. I'm not sure I'm explaining myself in a way that you could appreciate, but I only want to convey my perception of a duality in your song that is...well, as haunting as it is reassuring. Your Real Track and third-party instruments meld perfectly into a musical whole that supports the lyrical conflict I perceived. The vocal harmony was mixed into the track so quietly that I was startled when I noticed it!

It's a production with a distinctive musical personality and an intriguing subtext. As Will Josef wrote in his comment, "The lyrics are great and hit that sweet spot between being sad or optimistic..."


Last edited by bluage; 06/30/21 05:23 PM.

"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".
bluage #662619 07/01/21 01:03 PM
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Bluage,

Thanks for your analysis. I do appreciate it. You're on the right track.

Scott

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I really like the dynamics in this one, very well done.

Super vocal and lyrics with great instrumentation. The mix is spot on.

Two thumbs up.


You know you're getting old when a recliner and a heating pad is your idea of a hot date!

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Hi Ezekiel,

Another beautiful song from your hand. I enjoyed it very much!
The melody is so nice and the way you sing this is very sensitive.

In all the sensitive words you used, I had to think about that one line the most: "Can no one discern the deceiver is wearing no disguise".
A beautiful sentence, with a lot of perspective in it. Like that!
I don't know if your daugter understands all of the lyrics (I presume she is still very young), but this sentence is very important to understand, I think.

But the nicest thing is that this song is about you.

Hans


Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130
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A very sombre song - the world makes forward tinking almost painful at present.
Your vocal is really good...rich and well performed.
The punk held chord RealTrack isn't a great fit - (it has the aggression and sustain but it does sound like it's played through a pipe...it's not your mixing or production - I've tried to use it previously and just couldn't get it to fit), but it holds the place well enough.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Really nice anthemic rock vibe. That three-line verse is quirky but serves to push this forward. The lyrics are applicable to many of us and the delivery is earnest and heartfelt. I like the turn with the cello to cool things off a bit and reprised at the end. A reflective and uplifting work all round.


BIAB 2021 Audiophile. Windows 10 64bit. Songwriter, lyricist, composer(?) loving all styles. Some pre-BIAB music from Farfetched Tangmo Band's first CD. https://alonetone.com/tangmo/playlists/close-to-the-ground
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Hi Ezekiel's Storm,

Nice use of realtracks. It's very pleasant, the lyrics sensitive. Your voice is impeccable. Everything is perfect. I appreciated.

Kindly regard
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash


Kindly regards
Derochette
alias JaniJackFlash
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