Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread
Print Thread
Go To
Page 1 of 2 1 2
#733356 10/02/22 01:10 PM
User Showcase
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,259
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,259
One Time

This song comes from the same two-year-old shelf as "Two Hearts." My wife euphemistically told me then that it was not one of my best. Anyway, I have completely revamped it, trying to put new life into it. I changed all the instrumentation and style, and rerecorded the vocal. There is no chorus, but I tried to make it work.

The Wrecking Crew:
RT372 Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Hank
RT2585 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PunkHeldPlus
RT3269 Cello, Background CelticHornpipeFlowingNatalie
RT3141 Fiddle, 5-string, Background
RT2937 Bass, Fretless Electric Pop8thsRene
Native Instruments Electric Mint
Drums on Demand


One time
I chased the moon
Falling
From the sky too soon
You were waiting
When you caught me
That time

One time
We fought the rain
Falling
Through all the pain
Dark clouds surrounded
whispered to me
Not this time

One time
We shifted sand
Falling
Stars were out of hand
I am pretending
That you’re not gone
This time

One time
I chased the moon
Falling
From the sky too soon

User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 2,012
D
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
D
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 2,012
Ezekiel,

Well, I like it a lot, but the pressing question is “What does the wife think of the new version?” (LOL!). The write is solid, well-structured . . . compelling and emotional vocal, full of angst, longing and regret. Nice hold on some of those notes—not vocally easy . . . you do it well. Good stuff—enjoyed my listen!

Hope all is well in your world,

Deej

User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,909
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,909
Scott,

Great, great song. Love your vocal and the mix is outstanding.

Time for an album... smile

Bob

User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,188
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,188
Nice job. I like it.

The fact of writing is not every song will be your "best" song yet, but the point is, you have to write those anyway to get to the next "best ever" song.

I tend to write a lot of fillers and you never know.... One I recall writing was on the fence.... do I even post this one because I don't really like it...... but that one ended up getting a lot of good reviews from other folks.... so you never know.

Just write.


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
User Showcase
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 2,493
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 2,493
Hi Ezekiel,

Well, missed your music last months an this one made me realise why.
As Deej wrote, I was wondering too what your wife thought of this remake?

The start of the song with the acoustic guitar is very nice. Sounded promising for...?
If I would stat a song like this, it woud be a mater of time and then there are strings in it.
I thought they would enter haf way in your song, but nope, more or less the guitar.

A very intriguing song, with the very good help of your lyrics and vocals.
I enjoyed it a lot, but that always seems the case with your songs, doesn't it?

Don't come to close to the moon...
Hans


Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130
User Showcase
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,432
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,432
The title lyric served as a very good, two-note hook. I think this models some of the best songs ever done, like Yesterday (a three note hook). And then that one long sustained note is very effective. I think what follows after that could use a little more work to make it catchier or memorable. Production seemed good to me, I found I didn't pay so much attention to it because the song itself kept my attention. Yeoman work and one to revisit yet again some day.


Windows 11, Intel Core I5 10400, 16 gig ram, Scarlett 2i2, Sony Acid Music Studio 10, BIAB 2020 UltraPlus Pak
User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,342
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,342
Scott,

A solid write. Interesting throughout. A like it!

Good vocal!!!

Nice tracks. Good mix.

A very good listen.

fj

User Showcase
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,279
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,279
Scott...great job on the vocals...especially in the lower register...I really like the band especially the cello line...I agree with Deej about the emotion in your vocal...has anyone ever told you you have a Neil Diamond texture in your voice? If not...I'm telling you now...I really enjoyed the song! Best regards...Dan


www.soundclick.com/firesong
BiaB 2024, Steinberg Cubase Pro 13, Wavelab 11.2, SpetraLayers Pro 10, Audacity, Steinberg UR44 Interface, Yamaha Genos, Roland FP60 and FP10, Windows 10

You are who you are because you do what you do because of what you believe.
User Showcase
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 2,540
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 2,540
Your vocals are simply great Scott and I loved that acoustic guitar strum pattern.
Loved the lyrics too. Great all around.


https://soundcloud.com/user-646279677
BiaB 2025 Windows
For me there’s no better place in the band than to have one leg in the harmony world and the other in the percussive. Thank you Paul Tutmarc and Leo Fender.
User Showcase
Joined: Jul 2022
Posts: 2,301
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Jul 2022
Posts: 2,301
Originally Posted By: Ezekiel's Storm
...My wife euphemistically told me then that it was not one of my best...

Don't worry, I haven't written a song yet that my wife calls "good" laugh

I think the song works as it is. You create a mood that fits your lyrics perfectly, and your vocals are very good.

As for the structure, the last 3 lines of each verse sound like a pre-chorus to me, so I was actually expecting a chorus, but like I said, it works as it is now.


Making bits and bytes sound good...

Goldmania Bella - A One-Man Girlband with no fans
Listen on Spotify
Watch on YouTube
User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,866
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,866
I did write a song my wife liked - once, then I added lyrics, melody & vocal after which she no longer liked it...after 37 years of marriage I'd have hoped for a better score.
Your voice makes this work...it resonates with the lyrics and swings the hook well.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Birchwood #733596 10/05/22 03:12 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,259
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,259
Originally Posted By: Deej56
Ezekiel,

Well, I like it a lot, but the pressing question is “What does the wife think of the new version?” (LOL!). The write is solid, well-structured . . . compelling and emotional vocal, full of angst, longing and regret. Nice hold on some of those notes—not vocally easy . . . you do it well. Good stuff—enjoyed my listen!

Hope all is well in your world,

Deej


Deej, I hadn't had time to show her the new version until yesterday. She likes it a lot now. As soon as she heard the opening guitar, she said, "It's better already."

Originally Posted By: rsdean
Scott,

Great, great song. Love your vocal and the mix is outstanding.

Time for an album... smile

Bob


Thanks, Bob. I put out what I call vanity albums that no one listens to.

Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
Nice job. I like it.

The fact of writing is not every song will be your "best" song yet, but the point is, you have to write those anyway to get to the next "best ever" song.

I tend to write a lot of fillers and you never know.... One I recall writing was on the fence.... do I even post this one because I don't really like it...... but that one ended up getting a lot of good reviews from other folks.... so you never know.

Just write.


Herb, Thanks. I also find that my songs that I are my favorite aren't the most well liked by others.

Originally Posted By: Birchwood
Hi Ezekiel,

Well, missed your music last months an this one made me realise why.
As Deej wrote, I was wondering too what your wife thought of this remake?

The start of the song with the acoustic guitar is very nice. Sounded promising for...?
If I would stat a song like this, it woud be a mater of time and then there are strings in it.
I thought they would enter haf way in your song, but nope, more or less the guitar.

A very intriguing song, with the very good help of your lyrics and vocals.
I enjoyed it a lot, but that always seems the case with your songs, doesn't it?

Don't come to close to the moon...
Hans


Thanks, Hans. I do have some strings in it. The cello comes in at the start of the second verse and a fiddle comes in on the third.

User Showcase
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 4,052
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 4,052
Scott,

I thought I could sing low, but you really can!
Sounds great!

The song is impressive, it lingers.
Very well done!

Anne-Marie


We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1gsdNLE7_Gy8qavoOplQow/videos
http://rnam.net/


User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 5,638
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 5,638
Scott

Very impressive vocal, excellent work.

Good moody song and a strong production all round.

Peter

User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 8,315
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 8,315
Hi Scott ...

Well, my wife liked this one ... as did I! The backing tracks are clean easily distinguishable in their own respective spaces. Your vocal is stronmg! There's a lot to like here. Glad I had the chance to listen. Really nice.

Alan


BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar

Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops

User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 7,043
G
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
G
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 7,043
Very nicely done!!! I like the way you made the "one time" and "Falling" lines repeat each verse to tie it together!! Vocal and mix are just what the song needs!! Everything works! Take care. Greg

User Showcase
Joined: Feb 2022
Posts: 1,031
Expert
Offline
Expert
Joined: Feb 2022
Posts: 1,031
Great sound! Wonderful production. Man do I like how you got those guitars working together so well. This song just seems to catch you from the very first note. The bass guitar and the strumming acoustic with the finger picking is excellent, and then as you add the other instruments it just really builds well. I always like your vocals, and you did a great job with them here. Keep cleaning off that shelf man, I like 'em!

Brad

B.D.Thomas #733848 10/06/22 01:40 PM
User Showcase
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,259
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,259
Originally Posted By: TuneMonger
The title lyric served as a very good, two-note hook. I think this models some of the best songs ever done, like Yesterday (a three note hook). And then that one long sustained note is very effective. I think what follows after that could use a little more work to make it catchier or memorable. Production seemed good to me, I found I didn't pay so much attention to it because the song itself kept my attention. Yeoman work and one to revisit yet again some day.


Thanks, Tunemonger. I though about putting in a bridge, but I couldn't think of anything to fit in with the flow of the lyric.

Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Scott,

A solid write. Interesting throughout. A like it!

Good vocal!!!

Nice tracks. Good mix.

A very good listen.

fj


Thanks, Floyd. I'm glad you had a favorable response the song.

Originally Posted By: firesong
Scott...great job on the vocals...especially in the lower register...I really like the band especially the cello line...I agree with Deej about the emotion in your vocal...has anyone ever told you you have a Neil Diamond texture in your voice? If not...I'm telling you now...I really enjoyed the song! Best regards...Dan


Thanks, Dan. One of my coworkers mention the Neil Diamond thing last year.

Originally Posted By: B.D.Thomas
Originally Posted By: Ezekiel's Storm
...My wife euphemistically told me then that it was not one of my best...

Don't worry, I haven't written a song yet that my wife calls "good" laugh

I think the song works as it is. You create a mood that fits your lyrics perfectly, and your vocals are very good.

As for the structure, the last 3 lines of each verse sound like a pre-chorus to me, so I was actually expecting a chorus, but like I said, it works as it is now.


Thanks BD for the listen and the positive comments.

User Showcase
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,196
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,196
I liked this song from the first beat, so the instrumentation and the intro really show strong life. Your vocal is very strong keeping the song high on the sky near the moon and never falling. Kind of Johnny Cash meets U2 mood. The chord progression is very nice and keeps the interest without a chorus. The fretless bass works very well and so does the held guitar, I don't like some notes the cello is playing, but otherwise it works as well highlighting the sadness and the rain in the lyrics.

Janne


Hear My Music:

Soundcloud
YouTube

User Showcase
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 617
Journeyman
Offline
Journeyman
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 617
Great job building the instrumentation and tension in the song!

Previous Thread
Next Thread
Go To
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Link Copied to Clipboard
ChatPG

Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.

ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.

PG Music News
Band-in-a-Box 2025 French Version is Here!

Bonjour à tous,

Band-in-a-Box® 2025 pour Windows est disponible en Français.
Le téléchargement se fait à partir du site PG Music

Pour ceux qui auraient déjà acheté la version 2025 de Band-in-a-Box (et qui donc ont une version anglaise), il est possible de "franciser" cette version avec les patchs suivants:

BIAB 2025 - francisation
RealBand 2025 - francisation

Voilà, enjoy!

Band-in-a-Box 2025 German Version is Here!

Band-in-a-Box 2025 für Windows Deutsch ist verfügbar!

Die deutsche Version Band-in-a-Box® 2025 für Windows ist ab sofort verfügbar!

Alle die bereits die englische Version von Band-in-a-Box und RealBand 2024 installiert haben, finden hier die Installationsdateien für das Sprachenupdate:

https://nn.pgmusic.com/pgfiles/languagesupport/deutsch2025.exe
https://nn.pgmusic.com/pgfiles/languagesupport/deutsch2025RB.exe

Update Your Band-in-a-Box® 2025 to Build 1128 for Windows Today!

Already using Band-in-a-Box 2025 for Windows®? Download Build 1128 now from our Support Page to enjoy the latest enhancements and improvements from our team.

Stay up to date—get the latest update now!

Update to RealBand® 2025 Build 5 Windows Today!

Already using RealBand® 2025 for Windows®? Download Build 5 now from our Support Page to ensure you have the latest enhancements and improvements from our team.

Get the latest update today!

PowerTracks Pro Audio 2025 for Windows is Here!

PowerTracks Pro Audio 2025 is here! This new version introduces many features, including VST3 support, the ability to load or import a .FLAC file, a reset option for track height in the Tracks window, a taller Timeline on the Notation window toolbar, new freeze buttons in the Tracks window, three toolbar modes (two rows, single row, and none), the improved Select Patch dialog with text-based search and numeric patch display, a new button in the DirectX/VST window to copy an effects group, and more!

First-time packages start at only $49. Already a PowerTracks Pro Audio user? Upgrade for as little as $29!

www.pgmusic.com/powertracks.htm

Video: Summary of the New Band-in-a-Box® App for iOS®

Join Tobin as he takes you on a tour of the new Band-in-a-Box® app for iOS®! Designed for musicians, singer-songwriters, and educators, this powerful tool lets you create, play, and transfer songs effortlessly on your iPhone® or iPad®—anytime, anywhere.

Band-in-a-Box® for iOS® :Summary video.

Check out the forum post for more information.

Introducing the New Band-in-a-Box iOS App!

We’re excited to introduce the new Band-in-a-Box iOS app, designed to enhance your music creation. The Band-in-a-Box iOS app is the perfect companion to your desktop version, giving you the freedom to sketch out ideas wherever you are and develop them further when you're back at your workstation. Now, you can create, play, generate, and transfer songs seamlessly between your iOS device, and desktop.

Key Features:

- Easily Create and Play Songs – Build and play songs effortlessly on your device.
- MIDI and RealTracks/RealStyles Support – Generate MIDI tracks and RealTracks/RealStyles right on your iPhone or iPad (RealTracks/RealStyles require an internet connection).
- Notation Support – View chord sheets, professional notation, tab, and drum notation for all tracks.
...and more!

Watch the Band-in-a-Box iOS Overview Video.

Visit the Band-in-a-Box for iOS support page for more information and to listen to demos of our RealStyles catalogue.

Download the Band-in-a-Box iOS App from the Apple App Store today!

Forum Statistics
Forums58
Topics83,988
Posts773,244
Members39,513
Most Online25,754
Jan 24th, 2025
Newest Members
ohlivealittle, joe_acestudio, Jimmie Dale, sophiadavis012, Heliosis
39,512 Registered Users
Top Posters(30 Days)
MarioD 184
DC Ron 101
rsdean 97
Noel96 69
Today's Birthdays
CountryTrash, Júlíus Hraunberg
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5