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#762929 - 04/22/23 12:55 PM
[User Showcase]
Revenge Song
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Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
Expert
Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
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Title: Revenge SongLink: Revenge Song The idea for the song came to me after watching the movie "Blues Brothers" again. There is a running gag with this girl trying to kill Jake Blues in several bizarre attempts. I know a girl who behaved (more or less, minus the killing) similarly after a good friend of mine left her. Come to think of it, this could be part 2 of my last song, but the girl is no longer begging for "One More Time", she's starting to get serious. The idea: make it loud and dirty The result: it's loud and dirty Feedback, good or bad, is as always very welcome. Some background information:- apologies to Liam Neeson for the "Taken" quote. But the opportunity was just too tempting.
- additional apologies go to my compatriot Johann Pachelbel. I hope the chorus doesn't hurt him too much...
- a final apology to everyone for the overuse of the F-word. Believe me, I don't like this either.
But this f*cking girl really f*cked my friend's best friend and his sister. She told me herself. - before you ask: no, I'm still happily married
 - with a little nudging, forcing and swearing you can do amazing things with guitar RealTracks
F-word usage approved by Marty. Thanks my friend   Some technical information:Style: _TINES.STY The band:Drums: PraiseWorshipUptempo16 Bass: 4363 (re-amped) Guitars: (some re-amped) 4388 4386 4387 4385 4383 2x 3931 3738 3435 Piano: 894 Vocals: Natalie with BG vocals from Solaria and Cong. You can find the lyrics in the next post.
_________________________
Making bits and bytes sound good... Me on YouTubeA worn acoustic guitar, an even older keyboard, some software and lots of ideas...
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#762930 - 04/22/23 12:55 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: B.D.Thomas]
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Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
Expert
Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
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Title: Revenge Song
Verse 1:
Don't look back, I won't follow
I don't need you, I don't want you anymore
I'm just so angry, so f*cking angry
the things I'd like to do to you
are getting more and more
Chorus 1:
Stab you, cut you, kick your balls,
staple you to a wall,
burn your house and wreck your car,
beat you with my bass guitar.
F*ck your best friend and your sister,
be in general sinister,
be the nightmare of your life.
Sincerely, your no-more loving wife.
Verse 2:
I'll call my boss and tell him that his lovely wife
is leading a double life with you.
He will hate you
he will look for you
and he will find you
and will kill you
kill you
Chorus 2:
Stab you, cut you, kick your balls,
staple you to a wall
burn your house and wreck your car
beat you with my bass guitar.
F*ck your best friend and your sister
be in general sinister
be the nightmare of your life
haunting you forever
Bridge:
I'll be your nightmare
I'll be your Boogeyman
And I'll hurt you ... again and again and again and again
I'll be the pain inside your head
I'll be in your dreams
and I'll f*ck with your mind
till the end time
Chorus 3:
Stab you, cut you, kick your balls,
staple you to a wall
burn your house and wreck your car
beat you with my bass guitar.
F*ck your best friend and your sister
be in general sinister
be the nightmare of your life
sincerely, your no-more loving wife,
former wife
Chorus 4:
Stab you, cut you, kick your balls,
staple you to a wall
burn your house and wreck your car
beat you with my bass guitar.
F*ck your best friend and your sister
be in general sinister
be the nightmare of your life
sincerely, your no-more loving wife
Edited by B.D.Thomas (04/22/23 12:58 PM)
Edit Reason: Lyrics added
_________________________
Making bits and bytes sound good... Me on YouTubeA worn acoustic guitar, an even older keyboard, some software and lots of ideas...
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#762966 - 04/22/23 06:06 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: B.D.Thomas]
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Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 8775
Veteran
Registered: 04/03/09
Posts: 8775
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That's quite the creative endeavor.
Musically it's tight and checks all the right boxes.
Lyrically.... It's creative as fu..... Well.... Yeah. I like it.
She sounds like someone I'd want to avoid in real life.
I really like this song. Well done. You show what is possible.
Edited by Guitarhacker (04/22/23 06:07 PM)
_________________________
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but you can't do both.
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#763029 - 04/23/23 02:57 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: B.D.Thomas]
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Registered: 10/21/21
Posts: 1150
Loc: Versmold - GERMANY
Expert
Registered: 10/21/21
Posts: 1150
Loc: Versmold - GERMANY
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Hello B.D.
Good song
Great intro and ending
Natalie sings the lyrics unfortunately quite shy,
but it still sounds nice
Good work
Many greetings
Andi ;-)
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#763095 - 04/23/23 09:58 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: B.D.Thomas]
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Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 3301
Loc: Finland
Veteran
Registered: 11/29/06
Posts: 3301
Loc: Finland
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Powerful and easily entertaining pop song. Great start with Natalie's low voice. She sounds good for the angry message, her vibrato has sort of repressed malicious hatred, good work! Maybe her voice could be made even more wicked sounding? The F word doesn't bother me, the story needs straightforward emotional eruption. Also funny like in "burn your house and wreck your car/beat you with my bass guitar".
Very nice dynamical differences between the verses & bridge and the chorus. The band is strong, I like the guitars and the piano playing together.
Catchy chorus, I really like the chord progression.
Janne
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#763116 - 04/23/23 01:58 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: Guitarhacker]
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Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
Expert
Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
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That's quite the creative endeavor.
Musically it's tight and checks all the right boxes.
Lyrically.... It's creative as fu..... Well.... Yeah. I like it.
She sounds like someone I'd want to avoid in real life.
I really like this song. Well done. You show what is possible. Thanks Herb, I really appreciate your feedback. I have really known her for a long time and she is actually a calm and even-tempered person. I think in this case a fuse just blew. When a woman really loves, anything can happen. And he deserved some hate.
_________________________
Making bits and bytes sound good... Me on YouTubeA worn acoustic guitar, an even older keyboard, some software and lots of ideas...
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#763337 - 04/25/23 04:01 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: B.D.Thomas]
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Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 4767
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Veteran
Registered: 11/30/07
Posts: 4767
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Man, she is not someone I would want to mess with!
Absolutely top notch production on this, sounds great through the phones.
Great song despite all the F-Bombs!
I love that "Blues Brothers" movie BTW, watched it many times.
Good stuff, enjoyed.
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#763371 - 04/25/23 10:50 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: PROJECT M]
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Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
Expert
Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
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Hello B.D.
Good song
Great intro and ending
Natalie sings the lyrics unfortunately quite shy,
but it still sounds nice
Good work
Many greetings
Andi ;-) Thanks Andi for listening and your nice feedback. Greetings back from Germany
_________________________
Making bits and bytes sound good... Me on YouTubeA worn acoustic guitar, an even older keyboard, some software and lots of ideas...
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#763409 - 04/25/23 07:18 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: B.D.Thomas]
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Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5729
Loc: Sacramento, California
Veteran
Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 5729
Loc: Sacramento, California
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She's a bass player? No wonder she's angry. 'Cause bass players are just wannabe lead guitarists, right? Nice work all around, it's just too bad the SynthV angry female rock vocalist isn't there. Yet.  From a songwriting perspective, I think cursing once or twice is works, but past that, it seems to lose impact and feels ineffective.
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#763454 - 04/26/23 05:56 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: B.D.Thomas]
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Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10877
Loc: Florida
Veteran
Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 10877
Loc: Florida
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B.D.
Strong stuff. Start to finish.
A strong write.
A Super Strong Production. Really well done. A lot of Punch.
Excellent mix.
I just keeps getting better. Top Shelf.
fj
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#763470 - 04/26/23 06:37 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: B.D.Thomas]
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Registered: 05/27/19
Posts: 2625
Loc: Dallas, PA, USA
Veteran
Registered: 05/27/19
Posts: 2625
Loc: Dallas, PA, USA
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[
F-word usage approved by Marty. Thanks my friend :)-amped)
HAHA! After our lengthy discussions, that is your only takeaway? Truth is I approved everything, but I only insisted on one thing: Beat with my bass guitar --a much more formidable weapon. When I "proof" your lyrics the only thing I can do is look for typos or spelling errors. So what I enjoy most is the preview of your song. This one is crazy good, which is the perfect feel for such a crazy gal. You do an incredible job with synth voices. Natalie is really quite versatile --AND she chose the 6-string bass for her weapon of choice. I really like the dynamics you incorporate in this gem. BD. Well done!
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#763537 - 04/26/23 03:01 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: B.D.Thomas]
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Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 5599
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
Veteran
Registered: 04/13/16
Posts: 5599
Loc: Cooran Queensland Australia
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I enjoyed it but became stuck on sister/sinister each time it appeared.
The bridge is very Radiohead Creep.
I like the passive voice amidst louder rock & angry words.
It rocks well Norman!
_________________________
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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#763561 - 04/27/23 03:07 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: B.D.Thomas]
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Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 4745
Veteran
Registered: 03/07/18
Posts: 4745
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B.D. Very informative song Good arrangement and mix! Excellent job on putting it all together. The only thing, vocals are too "angelic", need some sort of punk/grunge treatment. Distortion? Thank you for sharing. Misha.
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#763624 - 04/27/23 12:04 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: B.D.Thomas]
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Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 12997
Loc: GA USA
Veteran
Registered: 12/05/11
Posts: 12997
Loc: GA USA
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Yikes! We don’t wanna mess with that girl. The band and Natalie convincingly make us feel the smoldering heat from her anger. Bud, being an upright bass player, said well at least hers wasn't as big as a couch! Kudos! J&B P.S. You can’t go wrong with the Blues Brothers.
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#763636 - 04/27/23 02:24 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: B.D.Thomas]
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Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 5624
Loc: New York
Veteran
Registered: 08/09/10
Posts: 5624
Loc: New York
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B.D.,
That's great stuff! What an excellent production.
Much enjoyed!
Bob
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#763711 - 04/28/23 01:12 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: jannesan]
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Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
Expert
Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
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Powerful and easily entertaining pop song. Great start with Natalie's low voice. She sounds good for the angry message, her vibrato has sort of repressed malicious hatred, good work! Maybe her voice could be made even more wicked sounding? The F word doesn't bother me, the story needs straightforward emotional eruption. Also funny like in "burn your house and wreck your car/beat you with my bass guitar".
Very nice dynamical differences between the verses & bridge and the chorus. The band is strong, I like the guitars and the piano playing together.
Catchy chorus, I really like the chord progression.
Janne Thanks Janne, I really appreciate your feedback. Sounding wicked is difficult, I already added some distortion in some places to make it more gritty, but what I would need is some growl (think Pink (the singer)), but that's not possible (yet).
_________________________
Making bits and bytes sound good... Me on YouTubeA worn acoustic guitar, an even older keyboard, some software and lots of ideas...
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#763763 - 04/29/23 08:19 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: BlueAttitude]
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Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
Expert
Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
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Man, she is not someone I would want to mess with!
Absolutely top notch production on this, sounds great through the phones.
Great song despite all the F-Bombs!
I love that "Blues Brothers" movie BTW, watched it many times.
Good stuff, enjoyed. Yeah, that's how bass guitarists are sometimes Thanks for listening and your feedback, Dave. Much appreciated!
_________________________
Making bits and bytes sound good... Me on YouTubeA worn acoustic guitar, an even older keyboard, some software and lots of ideas...
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#763783 - 04/29/23 04:01 PM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: B.D.Thomas]
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Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 19025
Loc: Hamlin NY
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Registered: 12/27/03
Posts: 19025
Loc: Hamlin NY
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Super groove with great dynamics.
Great vocal and vocal effects - you are a master of synth vocals.
Two thumbs up.
PS - Please keep her away from me!
_________________________
Finally my winter fat is gone.
Now I have spring rolls!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software and some hardware
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#763823 - 04/30/23 03:52 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: dcuny]
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Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
Expert
Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
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She's a bass player? No wonder she's angry. 'Cause bass players are just wannabe lead guitarists, right? Nope, bass players hold it all together and make the band look good. Ask Marty! From a songwriting perspective, I think cursing once or twice is works, but past that, it seems to lose impact and feels ineffective. I think you're basically right. But I released a song a few weeks ago, and the publisher required that the "Explicit" box be checked for only one swear word, and that was at the end of the song, so most listeners will never hear it. So I figured, "If I HAVE to check that box, I at least want it to be worth it"  Thanks for stopping by, David. Your feedback is always highly appreciated
_________________________
Making bits and bytes sound good... Me on YouTubeA worn acoustic guitar, an even older keyboard, some software and lots of ideas...
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#764010 - 05/01/23 11:47 AM
[User Showcase]
Re: Revenge Song
[Re: floyd jane]
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Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
Expert
Registered: 07/19/22
Posts: 905
Loc: 3rd rock from the sun
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B.D.
Strong stuff. Start to finish.
A strong write.
A Super Strong Production. Really well done. A lot of Punch.
Excellent mix.
I just keeps getting better. Top Shelf.
fj Thank you, Floyd, for listening and your encouraging words. I appreciate it very much!
_________________________
Making bits and bytes sound good... Me on YouTubeA worn acoustic guitar, an even older keyboard, some software and lots of ideas...
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