Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread
Print Thread
Go To
Page 1 of 2 1 2
#765209 05/12/23 06:58 PM
User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 2,012
D
Deej56 Offline OP
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
D
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 2,012
Hi, all:

Here’s almost something new . . . and by almost, I mean that I’m not quite sure if I’m done with it . . . and by that, I mean there are other things that I’m thinking of doing with it but not sure if I should . . . which is also to say, that I’m not sure it’s even a song worth spending more time on--my answer to which changes from moment to moment. So, I figure, why not put out what I have so far for some input to help me decide? It’s about the only thing new I’ve got going, for better or worse. Thanks in advance for the listens and feedback.

My best to you all,

Deej

Here’s the song:

NEVERMORE

Here are the lyrics:

Hey, girl, there’s a raven at your door
Speaking truths that you’ve well heard before
A cheater’s proof in hand
Your man doesn’t love you anymore
And it’s high time you know it

And the answer to the question you
Have asked a million times
Is the same one you’ve tried so hard to ignore
There’s a message in this raven’s wings
Now scream it to the skies
Nevermore

Hey, girl, it’s a shout out from the dark
A true confession of a tell tale heart
You’ve been left guessing, but now you know
So blow it all apart
You’ve got the strength
Don’t be shy to show it

Walk away, but it’s okay if you need to cry
I’ll be here, ever near
You can take this feathered hand
And we can fly

(Never more waiting in the dark
Evermore in this raven’s heart)

And here’s the band:

RealTracks 1826: Bass, Electric, PopModernGrooveSync4s
RealTracks 3182: Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm GrungeUnpluggedQuinn
RealTracks 1830: Guitar, Electric, Rhythm PopModernGrooveBrightDist
RealTracks 3520: Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Americana16thsDelayBrent
RealTracks 1262: Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopShiningHeld
RealDrums: RockNorthern^7

Deej56 #765219 05/12/23 08:14 PM
User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 8,336
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 8,336
HI Deej ...

I always look forward to a new one from you.

I enjoyed this from start to finish. I like the idea of using a raven as the messenger - unique and interesting in a most favorable way.

Nice chord pattern, too - especially in the chorus. There's just something about the I - 1V7 chord combination that piques my ears' interest. Good lyric, vocal, and arrangement. I enjoyed my listen very much. Spot-on mix, too.

This couplet is, in my opinion, the best in the lyric:

Hey, girl, it’s a shout out from the dark
A true confession of a tell tale heart

Take care ...

Alan


BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar

Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops

Deej56 #765222 05/12/23 09:34 PM
User Showcase
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 2,434
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 2,434
I'm on my cell phone, so I may be more succinct than usual.

Where's the problem? smile Listened to it only once, but enjoyed every second of it. The form is excellent, you vary things in between repetitions of the chorus and the verses in between, and that more than keeps the listener's interest. The writing is very, very good. If I am to be INCREDIBLY picky, make sure you land that falsetto note on the word "okay" smile It's so high! But, look, this is an excellent, really excellent song. I would put it amongst your top ones. I wouldn't change a thing, me, but (as you yourself told me many times) don't second guess your own artistic instinct. I, myself, really loved it ... and its message is original, if only because of the way it's presented in. Maybe I am easy to please, but I can't see a problem, here. smile

Deej56 #765273 05/13/23 08:39 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,989
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 7,989
Deej,

This is superb! Your vocal is stellar and the production is excellent. Love the song and the arrangement. Great track selection.

This was definitely worth putting out.

Bob

Deej56 #765287 05/13/23 09:22 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 851
Expert
Offline
Expert
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 851
Interesting and thoughtful lyric
Cool Melody that took you to the catchy chorus.
Good mix and production and your voice sounds perfect for this tune
Nice jobNice job


Elliott Kayne
elliottkayne@gmail.com
https://www.reverbnation.com/kaynemusic
https://www.facebook.com/ekayne

Health, Wealth, Family, Faith, Friends, and Fun







Deej56 #765292 05/13/23 09:53 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,398
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 12,398
Deej,

A solid track. That BAND holds together well.
Vocals are excellent - as always. Well recorded. (Stellar falsetto in the bridge!)
A "clever" write. A bit esoteric for my tastes, though. Still...well done.
A VERY catchy chorus.

You are a talent.

fj

Deej56 #765300 05/13/23 11:34 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Jul 2022
Posts: 2,326
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Jul 2022
Posts: 2,326
I can't find anything I would change, so my advice is: leave it as it is smile

Love the lyrics and its delivery, the production and especially the chorus.
Very catchy!

Deej56 #765375 05/14/23 05:27 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Oct 2021
Posts: 1,482
Expert
Offline
Expert
Joined: Oct 2021
Posts: 1,482
Hi DJ
WOW - Really good song from the beginning to the end
Excellent vocal work
You can't get the chorus out of your head ;-)))
1A work DJ
Many greetings
Andi ;-)

Deej56 #765410 05/14/23 07:07 PM
User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,891
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,891
Deej,
it's excellent as it is. The lighter arrangement contrasting with the dark associations with the lyric.
ACE melody and progressions.
Superb vocal performance.
I don't know - you could try it in the BIAB Doom style for fun.
I'm sure it work a treat...can't hurt but, as it stands, this is a cool thing already.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
Deej56 #765431 05/15/23 12:40 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,814
Expert
Offline
Expert
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,814
Hi Deej,

Very good song, good lyrics and well mixed.

No room for an instrumental solo?


Best Regards
Nigel


Nigel Spiers
Christchurch, New Zealand
info@nzacoustics.com
Deej56 #765432 05/15/23 12:50 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,644
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,644
Hi Deej,

Love this! You got your inspiration from Edgar Allan Poe I guess? Great idea, works really well.

Man, that vocal! Especially love the bridge.

Enjoyed!

Deej56 #765446 05/15/23 03:43 AM
User Showcase
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 4,350
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 4,350
Keep at it, Deej, and soon everyone will be raven about it (couldn't help it). You know I like your voice so much that I'd listen to you sing the phone book. I really like the melody, and the band and mix are perfect. I've got nothing for ya to consider except I like Ray's suggestion to try other Styles. Not because the song needs it, but because it's fun AND it could inspire you to make a few changes --again, not that change is necessary. Next month I'll post the 3rd version of a song that will feature Ray on bass.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub
Band in a Box, Reaper, Cakewalk, Ozone 11
Deej56 #765458 05/15/23 06:54 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,227
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,227
Nice lyrics, I like the use of raven as the caller for liberation.
Really enjoyed the chord progression, especially the minor of verses and then the more major choruses. Catchy chorus.
Very strong vocal performance, very good work with the high notes and the backing vocals are tasty.
I don't have ideas for improvement, although reminds me of Aerosmith ballads, maybe stronger electric guitars in the chorus (+solo) might give some extra spice.

Janne


Hear My Music:

Soundcloud
YouTube

Deej56 #765470 05/15/23 07:56 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,291
Veteran
Online Content
Veteran
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 2,291
Deej...I can't really add much to what has already been said but I would like to reiterate some of it...my first impression is what a clever write and hook...E.A.P. would be flattered...secondly I agree with Marty and Ray's thought of trying other styles for fun and you did say you weren't quite sure if it's done yet or not...I know there have been times I've done that and found something I liked better...in fact after I get my chord structure into BiaB as a regular practice I play them through as many styles as I can in search of the "one" that enhances the lyrics the best.

BUT, you don't have to change a thing to make this a great song with a cool hook and a killer vocal (as usual)!


www.soundclick.com/firesong
BiaB 2024, Steinberg Cubase Pro 13, Wavelab 11.2, SpetraLayers Pro 10, Audacity, Steinberg UR44 Interface, Yamaha Genos, Roland FP60 and FP10, Windows 10

You are who you are because you do what you do because of what you believe.
Deej56 #765495 05/15/23 01:56 PM
User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 23,066
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 23,066
DJ, if I were you I would be "raven" about this one!

This is one outstanding song.

Fantastic vocal, backing tracks, mix, and lyrics.

I wouldn't change a thing.

Loved it.


My momma didn't raise a fool. And if she did it, was one of my brothers.

64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
Deej56 #765829 05/18/23 07:44 PM
User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 2,012
D
Deej56 Offline OP
Veteran
OP Offline
Veteran
D
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 2,012
Alan, James, Bob, Elliott, Floyd, B.D., Andi, rayc, Nigel, Dave, Marty, Janne, Dan, and Mario:

Thank you all for the listens and really helpful feedback. As you may have picked up, I wasn’t too sure about this and had mixed feelings about it . . . so your positive comments are encouraging. I’ve tweaked the mix a bit based on your comments.

One of the things I was concerned about was the abrupt start—that is, no intro. No one seemed to mind it, but I decided to add a short sound effect driven intro. I also added some beefier electric guitars into the chorus . . . and lastly, a cello. All of those those tracks are from the Doomsday style that rayc recommended. I think it all works, but I’m sure you’ll let me know if otherwise.

Some thoughts on the specific comments:

Floyd: Yeah, “esoteric” is a fair word for to describe the lyric . . . and I think that’s in part what has worried me . . . it’s not easily accessible , particularly with the Poe references. But hopefully the sound and melody compensate, and it resonates more on a further listen? Dunno.

Ray, Marty and Dan: So I did play with a number of additional styles following your comment. The Doomsday style with the cello was really cool . . . unfortunately for the verses, the chugging guitars didn’t really play the diminished chord so it wouldn’t work all the way through. But as noted above, I added the Thrash electric guitars into the chorus, and used the cello as well (with some restraint occasionally conflicted with the melody). Hopefully a good addition.

Nigel: Perhaps a function of my not being fully confident in the tune, I wanted to keep this short and sweet . . . under 3.5 minutes. Another reason I skipped the intro. But beyond that, I couldn’t find a natural place for one. The best option would have been before the bridge, but I thought that would take away from some of the song’s momentum. So, opted to do without. A good thought though.

Dave: I’m not sure I can honestly say it was inspired by Poe . . . that is, I didn't start writing the song with Poe in mind. I fell upon that opening line during my usual writing process . . . which is me strumming away on guitar while I mumble random nonsense until a line or phrase jumps out at me. But once I had the first line, I knew I wanted to incorporate more Poe elements . . . leading ultimately to the title of the song and the “tell tale heart” reference.

Janne: See above . . . stronger electrics in the chorus added . . . great suggestion!

Thanks again all . . . hope the changes are for the better.

Deej

Deej56 #765943 05/20/23 04:09 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Jan 2023
Posts: 2
W
Newbie
Offline
Newbie
W
Joined: Jan 2023
Posts: 2
The chord pattern is quite impressive, particularly in the chorus. Experience the captivating allure of the I - IV7 chord progression that is sure to capture your auditory senses. Experience the perfect combination of captivating lyrics, mesmerizing vocals, and flawless arrangement. Experience the joy of listening with our exceptional audio quality. Perfectly blended, as well.

Deej56 #766006 05/20/23 01:32 PM
User Showcase
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,299
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 3,299
It all sounds good to me. No, that's wrong. It sounds great to me. Clever lyrics and use of Poe. Catchy chorus. Vocal is tops, as usual.

Deej56 #766069 05/21/23 10:28 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 6,731
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 6,731
Deej,

You are one of my favorite vocalists here. Never a disappointing experience. Actually, I liked this tune a lot. Probably would make first 3 top songs by you on my list. Excellent lyrics, vocal performance and arrangement. The "abrupt start" you mentioned did not bother me personally at all. However if you want an opinion, there might be an easy cheat/addition to make intro a bit more smooth. After the last "knock" consider a sliding note of a bass or other instrument that would lead into the tune. In any case amazing effort and thank you for sharing.

Misha.

Deej56 #766160 05/22/23 08:14 AM
User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 8,323
Veteran
Offline
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 8,323
Hey DJ,

Great song man. All of your stuff has a real classic old school radio vibe.

Love it..

Excellent production and vocals.

Previous Thread
Next Thread
Go To
Page 1 of 2 1 2

Link Copied to Clipboard
ChatPG

Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.

ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.

PG Music News
Band-in-a-Box 2025 Italian Version is Here!

Cari amici
È stata aggerate la versione in Italiano del programma più amato dagli appassionati di musica, il nostro Band-in-a-Box.
Questo è il link alla nuova versione 2025.

Di seguito i link per scaricare il pacchetti di lingua italiana aggiornati per Band-in-a-Box e RealBand, anche per chi avesse già comprato la nuova versione in inglese.

Band-in-a-Box 2025 - Italiano
RealBand 2025 - Italiano

Band-in-a-Box 2025 French Version is Here!

Bonjour à tous,

Band-in-a-Box® 2025 pour Windows est disponible en Français.
Le téléchargement se fait à partir du site PG Music

Pour ceux qui auraient déjà acheté la version 2025 de Band-in-a-Box (et qui donc ont une version anglaise), il est possible de "franciser" cette version avec les patchs suivants:

BIAB 2025 - francisation
RealBand 2025 - francisation

Voilà, enjoy!

Band-in-a-Box 2025 German Version is Here!

Band-in-a-Box 2025 für Windows Deutsch ist verfügbar!

Die deutsche Version Band-in-a-Box® 2025 für Windows ist ab sofort verfügbar!

Alle die bereits die englische Version von Band-in-a-Box und RealBand 2024 installiert haben, finden hier die Installationsdateien für das Sprachenupdate:

https://nn.pgmusic.com/pgfiles/languagesupport/deutsch2025.exe
https://nn.pgmusic.com/pgfiles/languagesupport/deutsch2025RB.exe

Update Your Band-in-a-Box® 2025 to Build 1128 for Windows Today!

Already using Band-in-a-Box 2025 for Windows®? Download Build 1128 now from our Support Page to enjoy the latest enhancements and improvements from our team.

Stay up to date—get the latest update now!

Update to RealBand® 2025 Build 5 Windows Today!

Already using RealBand® 2025 for Windows®? Download Build 5 now from our Support Page to ensure you have the latest enhancements and improvements from our team.

Get the latest update today!

PowerTracks Pro Audio 2025 for Windows is Here!

PowerTracks Pro Audio 2025 is here! This new version introduces many features, including VST3 support, the ability to load or import a .FLAC file, a reset option for track height in the Tracks window, a taller Timeline on the Notation window toolbar, new freeze buttons in the Tracks window, three toolbar modes (two rows, single row, and none), the improved Select Patch dialog with text-based search and numeric patch display, a new button in the DirectX/VST window to copy an effects group, and more!

First-time packages start at only $49. Already a PowerTracks Pro Audio user? Upgrade for as little as $29!

www.pgmusic.com/powertracks.htm

Video: Summary of the New Band-in-a-Box® App for iOS®

Join Tobin as he takes you on a tour of the new Band-in-a-Box® app for iOS®! Designed for musicians, singer-songwriters, and educators, this powerful tool lets you create, play, and transfer songs effortlessly on your iPhone® or iPad®—anytime, anywhere.

Band-in-a-Box® for iOS® :Summary video.

Check out the forum post for more information.

Forum Statistics
Forums58
Topics84,147
Posts775,350
Members39,568
Most Online25,754
Jan 24th, 2025
Newest Members
Andill, AIDV, RickyLane, AudioQuestions, jl1
39,568 Registered Users
Top Posters(30 Days)
MarioD 174
DC Ron 100
rsdean 94
WaoBand 87
Noel96 75
dcuny 67
Today's Birthdays
paulgermana
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5