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#765229 05/12/23 11:56 PM
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Ok, so ... I'm ambivalent about this song.

On one hand, it's yet another heartbreak song. And I've had enough of writing these. There's only so much juice one can squeeze out of this particular lemon, before it becomes boring, I think smile Also, from any genre of song (not just this one), one must also know when to walk away. There's no point in whining, in the same key, tone and way (alike a tomcat on the roof, at night), until one bores the heck out of one's listeners, right? smile Variation is the spice of life, perhaps.

That said, I sat down the other night, and tried to write another song. "Anything but a heartbreak song, PLEASE", I said to myself. Long story short, THIS is what I eventually came up with. Argh.

Why do I post it? Because I think that, on its own, it possibly stands up well enough, as a song, that's all. I'd be so curious, also and therefore, to see what you think of it. On one hand, I'm not really in love with its lyrics, etc. - on the other, there's something raw and perhaps sincere about it that I think may be worth posting. But, no spoilers, haha ... see what YOU think, if you wish? Thanks smile


Nothing Without You


THE LYRICS:

I walked down every path, all of my life,
I looked for you, in peace and strife,
Alas, you're far away, where I can't go,
Not knowing how I feel, which hurts me so ...

I traveled every road, and every time
I thought I'd find you again, and call you mine ...
And now I'm near the end, and you're not here
Allow me to share with you what I find clear ...

Life is nothing without you,
Love is useless and untrue,
If you're not here for me to kiss your hand,
Then everything I've built, I've built on sand ...


I'm getting older, each, and every day,
My body, slowly, slowly, is giving way ...
Our stunning beauty's now washed o'er by rain ...
Whenever I think of you, I'm filled with pain ...

I need a miracle for your return
God knows that that's all I'll ever yearn
For, alas, you're far away, and you can't hear
My thoughts and hopes, all I hold dear ...

It's been my error, perhaps, to love you so much,
But it's too late to make it right, as such;
And, now I'm near the end, you're still not here ...
Allow me, please, to share what now seems clear:

Life is nothing without you,
Love is useless and untrue,
If you're not here for me to kiss your hand,
Then everything I've built, I've built on sand ...


So allow me, please, to dream of you once more,
For you've been th'only one I've e'er adored ...


THE BAND:

****** Song Summary *************
Title: Love Is Nothing Without You - 10 May 2023
File:Love Is Nothing Without You - 10 May 2023.SGU
Key=D , Tempo 80, Length (m:s)=3:36
No intro. 68 bar chorus, from bar 1 to bar 68. Repeat x1 chorus
No Melody
No Soloist track.
Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0,
Style is _BOND.STY (Bond Fusion Ballad)

RealTracks in style: 1398:Bass, Electric, Soul70sA-B Ev16 100
RealTracks in style: ~1639:Piano, Electric, Rhythm JazzFunkBreezy Ev16 075
RealTracks in style: 1840:Synth Pad, PopModernGrooveMellow Ev16 075
RealTracks in style: 3949:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm FusionBalladBrent Ev16 080
RealDrums in style:LoungePop16thsSput^1-a:Closed Hat, Snare , b:Ride, Snare

*******************

Voice recorded and mixed with BIAB backing track in Mixcraft Pro Studio 9. Added "On The Phone" preset effect to the voice track.

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James,

This is a very pretty piece of music.

Your spoken word always sounds so nice and sincere.

Great job.

Bob

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James,

I like your chorus.
A pleasant track.
Vocals are clear.

fj

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Very nice use of real tracks beautiful backing track and I like the narration


Elliott Kayne
elliottkayne@gmail.com
https://www.reverbnation.com/kaynemusic
https://www.facebook.com/ekayne

Health, Wealth, Family, Faith, Friends, and Fun







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This is so hard to pull off I have been trying for years and just can't get it. You nailed it. My only nit pick, and it's reaching, is that the music track never changed volume or dynamics. Your voice is captivating and I wanted to hear more of it using instruments to create dynamic tension. Really nice job, thanks for allowing us to hear it.

Rick


It needs more cowbell!

https://therickhansenband.com
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Bob: thanks. So kind of you!

floyd: thank you.

Elliot: thanks! Glad you liked it!

Rick: yes, volume, texture and dynamic variation is something I can work upon. I tried to do that with key modulations and different harmonic progressions, but yes, I could have done it with variation in instrumentation, etc., too. I'll listen again, see if I can change anything - but, to be honest, chances are I'll leave it like this for now, at least. We'll see! Depends also on how much time I get to tinker with it. That said: thanks so much for listening and taking the time to comment!

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The pleasure was all mine. I look forward to your next effort. You are on the right track.
Rick


It needs more cowbell!

https://therickhansenband.com
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James as always you have created fantastic backing tracks.
Your spoken word puts the icing on the cake.

I really liked this one!


When you are at the checkout line and they ask if you found everything say "Why, are you hiding stuff?"

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James,
it's another of your good pieces in the genre.
I did notice a fair bit more mouth noise/lip smacks on this that in recent tracks.
You need to drink to keep your mouth hydrated to avoid that sort of thing.
If you record one stanza at a time and have a good sip n swish before the next one you should be sweet.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Rick: thanks smile

Mario: thank you! Glad you liked it!

Ray: thanks smile - and thanks for the tip, re: mouth noise and lip smacks. I usually take my time to edit them out; I think that I was a little sloppy with the editing, this time. But yes - your advice will also help, of course. Between that and the editing, hopefully I get rid of it, if not entirely, then almost? smile

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James,

Nicely done! I like the production choice on the vocal — nice tone and flavor to it. I agree with Rick that maybe a change up along the way might give it a bit more pop. Maybe come out of that vocal treatment for the chorus . . . and maybe sing the chorus? Dunno. Just a couple of suggestions to mess with. But regardless it’s good work, James. Good write and production. Enjoyed the listen!

All my best,

Deej

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Thanks Deej!!! Good suggestions. I will think about them - at the moment, I worry about breaking the character of the song (which is like a message in a bottle, or like a recorded voice on a cassette tape), if I "come out of character" for the chorus. But - I will try and see what happens, I think. In any case, thank you for listening and for taking the time to comment! smile

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Another fabulous backing track.

There's nothing wrong with heartbreak songs. It's what sells and most people can identify with them.

My favorite line is "Our stunning beauty's now washed o'er by rain"

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Ezekiel's Storm: thank you so much for the encouragement. It truly means a LOT. Glad you enjoyed the song!

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The band is very smooth and the lyric sounds (and reads) heartfelt and genuine.

Hey, we love 12 bar blues and keep returning with them so don’t worry about returning with heartbreak songs.

As Torrey said in his song recently, “keep singing your song.”

Well done!

J&B


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Thank you so much, Janice and Bud. You know exactly what to say smile . And I 100% agree - I will indeed "keep singing (or, in my case, speaking - most of the time ...) my song". smile God bless.

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