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vicarn Offline OP
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Well, I'm not sure about this one, SO I RE DID IT.
It's outside my comfort genre because I don't have a "Rock" voice.
The hook just came to me the other day and I ran with it, not knowing where touchdown was.

Maybe the harmony vocals are a bit loud. Not sure. Not sure of anything really.
But ... it's a song.

https://on.soundcloud.com/qjMyB



I'm all right now you left © Vic Arnold 2023

There were parties on at our house
on the nights I wasn't there
I'd be pacing up and down outside in the cold
and drizzly air.
I could have just come crashing in and we could have had a fight.
The neighbours would complain and not care who was wrong or right
Ch.1
A home that could have been a lovers nest
put me under house arrest
But I'm a ... ll right now I passed the test.
Yes I'm a ... ll right ... now you left.

I used to sneak off somewhere, whenever you were near
Trying to drown my sorrows in a can or six of beer
Telling lies to friends and kin to find a place to stay
or volunteered for night shift and a 14 hour day.
Ch.1
Inst.
Ch.2
I took the blows and stood my ground
'til you tired of coming 'round
Yes I'm a ... ll right now you left.
Yes I'm a ... ll right now you left.

I'm a ... ll right now I passed the test.
Yes I'm a ... ll right now you left.

Last edited by vicarn; 08/17/23 05:24 AM.
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Hey Vic...outside the comfort zone is a great place to go sometimes (but stay out of the twilight zone)...love the genre and the band you put together...clever idea and hook...I think you're right about the harmony being a bit loud...maybe a little 'verb to set it back in the mix a tad...cool rock melody...it's a thumb's up from me!


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Vic,

Good song. I like your vocal with it. It's a good contrast with the song's rock tones.

Nice job.

Bob

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Good song, and great backing tracks. It may not be in your best singing key, but it dont sound bad. Finding the right key for your voice is sometimes the hardest part. I do agree with you that your Backing Vocal can be placed farther back into the mix, to blend better. Good use of Real Tracks and production


Elliott Kayne
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vicarn Offline OP
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Hi Dan.
I turned the dbs down a little on the voices,

Thank you for the encouraging words.

Vic

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vicarn Offline OP
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Thanks Robert.
As long as it gets a few likes. smile

Vic

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Vic, I think your vocal sounds great. It was a lot like something Don Williams would sing.

Great vocal, super lyrics, all mixed to perfection.

I think you just expanded your comfort zone!


I want my last spoken words to be "I hid a million dollars under the........................"

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I did comment on this yesterday but it seems to have slipped away.
Oh well, nicely done Vic your vocal sounds a little stretched BUT that gives it emotional impact.
The phrase "...all right now you're left" leaves me scratching my head though. The play on words is fine but achieving it with you're rather than you've perplexes me. No matter - no one else is bothered so it might be one of those trans Atlantic/Pacific things.


Cheers
rayc
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vicarn Offline OP
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Thanks Mario but I think it may have been too high a key in some places so I re did the song now in A instead of C. Call me a nit picker.

Vic

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vicarn Offline OP
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Thanks for the observations Ray.
I did have it in proper grammar at first but liked the uneducated "you're" better. Just thought it would jump out more. Also the "Left" is used as "statement" of it's own. There's probably a proper word to describe it somewhere.

I have also taken the key down to A from C now to try to eliminate the squeak in my voice.

Vic

P.S. I just looked it up. It's called an "Enallage.

Last edited by vicarn; 08/16/23 04:37 AM.
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Nice song!

The only problem I have with "you're left" instead of "you've left" is that it feels like you're trying to stretch the term to include the political meaning. But there's nothing in the lyric to support that reading, so it just sounds - to my small and pedantic mind - like you're saying it wrong.

Now if you had sung:

   There were parties at your house
   Sometimes red and sometimes blue...


wink

But as long as you're happy with the lyric... carry on! laugh


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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vicarn Offline OP
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Hi David.
Thanks for your time.

It is a play on words but not in a political sense.
You can think of it as him saying "Once I was left out of this relationship or left to wallow in sadness but now YOU'RE LEFT to experience it."

"You're right. I'm left. She's gone." That old Elvis classic could be political.

Nothing is set in stone so I may relent yet. confused

Vic

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vicarn Offline OP
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I have relented. After listening to the track again I realised I was singing "YOU" and not "YOU'RE".

Thanks to all for giving me a nudge.

Vic

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Vic,
I heard it yesterday, gave it second spin today. Doesn't feel that it's pressured. Sounds natural. Vocals at good level to my ears. Good song & listens well. Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

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Good energy rocker. I love the instrumentation. Excellent chorus.

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Vic

An enjoyable rocker nicely put together and one to get the conversation going regarding lyrics etc.

A fun number.

Peter

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vicarn Offline OP
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Thanks Misha.
Appreciated.

Vic

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vicarn Offline OP
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Many thanks, sir.

Vic

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vicarn Offline OP
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Hi Peter.
Thank you.
Don't say anything to my wife. smile

Vic

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Well, you sound quite comfortable in there, Vic. You still show a keen knack of delivering the vocal in a great story-telling fashion. And you always have such good stories to tell. I haven't worked it out to be sure, but the harmony sounds a little flat. Since no one else mentioned it, I'm sure to be wrong.

Anyway, I'm as pedantic as David and Ray, but also a bit of a Sophist. "You're left" could just be another way of saying you're wrong. Right?


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@babumusic51
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/marty-straub
and https://soundcloud.com/babumusic-5080285
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