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#787461 12/07/23 12:20 PM
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Midnight In The Swamp


Here's something a little different.

I think it's the best lyric I've ever written.

About 15 or 16 years ago, I entered a songwriting contest to write an original song that had to have a full musical soundscape but something significantly out of the ordinary. The only other requirement, other than claiming full copyright ownership, was it had to have a full vocal - no spoken word vocal permitted. This was my entry. They narrowed it down to five songs and then picked 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners. I ended up at #5.

I ran across the contest on its last day to submit entries and I had a pretty bad cold. The vocal isn't very good, but it was the best I could do with congestion and throat pain. It's obvious I was stretching for some of the high notes. I recorded it in the key of Cm - probably should have done it in Bbm. Oh well. I've never gone back to redo the vocal.

I thought I'd post it just to get some feedback by which I'll decide whether to revisit it - or not. I added the Synthmaster track annotated below to the choruses via BIAB. I have the full Synthmaster program, so this track may or may not be available in the light version included with BIAB. The sound effects are from various internet sites that offer free/royalty-free clips. The rest of the band is from various midi tracks I have.

NOTE: I have used the lyric as the basis for a new novel of the same name I'm writing. I've written 11 chapters; have about 22 - 25 chapters left to write.

Synthmaster Track 142 – FX The Ring via BIAB 2023



Midnight In The Swamp

© January 2007 Alan D. David, BMI, All Rights Reserved

(Music Intro)

(v1)
It always makes me nervous
When I look into the sky
I see that full moon rising
As the daylight starts to die
That Loosi-ana Bayou
Takes on a whole new face
As shadows and black magic
Take o’er that haunted place

(v2)
Your skin will crawl with goose bumps
Your hair will stand on end
Static charges through the air
As the midnight sun sets in
The swamp takes on an aura
Like no man could ever know
As the Mistress of the Darkness
Casts her spell of ebb and flow

(Chorus) Moonlight weaving shadows
As the critters play and romp
Bayous all flow backwards
When it’s midnight in the swamp
When evil spirits moan their chant
Their sonnets chill and daunt
No mortal man should be there
When it’s midnight in the swamp

(v3)
Nothing like you’ve ever heard
Wind passing through the threads
Plays its arcane symphony
On the silken spider webs
The swamp goes spooky silent
Just before it starts to shake
And in a pirogue left behind
Alligators dance with snakes

(v4)
When the moon starts falling
‘Fore night breaks into day
A hush spreads cross the bayou
As the magic fades away
The eerie frolic ceases
As the daylight filters in
But it’s just a few short hours
‘Til the madness starts again

Repeat Chorus

(Music Outro)

Last edited by Al-David; 12/07/23 01:10 PM.

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I love the lyrics and the boogie feel.

Re your "new novel" I don't know what you've written before, but if you don't already have a trade publisher, try to get one before self-publishing - though that really means getting a good agent first. I've been self-publishing for a decade and there's just no way of successfully self-promoting. I tried getting a trade publisher for a few years, but I wasn't pro getting an agent as these days they take way too much of a %, but I regret it now as I've had a trilogy-length novel out since 2013 and I'm now lucky to sell 1 copy a year. A few years ago I published 2 comic satire novelas under a pen-name which I thought would sell better, but I've only sold 1 copy of 1 (other than to close friends) and 0 of the better one!


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Originally Posted by WaoBand
I love the lyrics and the boogie feel.

Re your "new novel" I don't know what you've written before, but if you don't already have a trade publisher, try to get one before self-publishing - though that really means getting a good agent first. I've been self-publishing for a decade and there's just no way of successfully self-promoting. I tried getting a trade publisher for a few years, but I wasn't pro getting an agent as these days they take way too much of a %, but I regret it now as I've had a trilogy-length novel out since 2013 and I'm now lucky to sell 1 copy a year. A few years ago I published 2 comic satire novelas under a pen-name which I thought would sell better, but I've only sold 1 copy of 1 (other than to close friends) and 0 of the better one!

Thanks. I think this is the best lyric I've ever written. Thanks for commenting on it - appreciate that.

Reference the novel writing: I have seven novels published - all self-published. I have five more in progress. I've not gotten rich from them, but they've made a few house payments and bought a couple of steak dinners. I've averaged 300 - 400 sales per year for the past 6 or 7 years. At my age, I don't feel the need to get an agent as I'm not going to be here long enough to reap a big return. I'm almost 77 years old. Also, my wife is seriously disabled, and her health is tenuous and perpetually denigrating. She needs round-the-clock care, which would make meeting deadlines very difficult.

Thanks for the listen! And for your insights on the book publishing. I appreciate both.

Take care,

Alan


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Alan

Very atmospheric song. Strong lyric and an enjoyable melody.

Good work.

Peter

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Very nice work Alan. This has a typical 70s Soul feeling to it, and so has your vocal!
Would fit right into TV series like Baretta and Starsky and Hutch. And more recently The Deuce on HBO.

Well done.

Rob


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Originally Posted by PeterF
Alan

Very atmospheric song. Strong lyric and an enjoyable melody.

Good work.

Peter


Thanks very much, Peter. I appreciate your kind words.

Take care,

Alan


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Originally Posted by RnAM
Very nice work Alan. This has a typical 70s Soul feeling to it, and so has your vocal!
Would fit right into TV series like Baretta and Starsky and Hutch. And more recently The Deuce on HBO.

Well done.

Rob

Hi Rob,

Thank you very much. I used to watch Starsky & Hutch all the time. Baretta occasionally. But I don't think I've ever seen an episode of The Deuce. Glad you liked it! Best to you and Anne-Marie.

Alan


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Alan,

I think this song would get the Tony Joe White stamp of approval...

Great, great song. Love the lyric and your vocal. So full of cool images and really sets the mood.

Yes, completely worth revisiting. This is an AWESOME song!

Bob

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Originally Posted by rsdean
Alan,

I think this song would get the Tony Joe White stamp of approval...

Great, great song. Love the lyric and your vocal. So full of cool images and really sets the mood.

Yes, completely worth revisiting. This is an AWESOME song!

Bob


Hi Bob,

Several years ago, someone else also mentioned Tony Joe White. Works for me!

I think it might be the best lyric I've ever written, but the vocal could use a little additional help. And I'll take "AWESOME" any day. Thank you so much!

Take care,

Alan


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Dr. Al the night tripper! This is not only great lyrically but also feel. Funky to the max and a soulful delivery. You should have been #1. Immensely enjoyed,Tom

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Originally Posted by tommyad
Dr. Al the night tripper! This is not only great lyrically but also feel. Funky to the max and a soulful delivery. You should have been #1. Immensely enjoyed,Tom


Thanks a bunch, Tom. And yeah, the funk got all over this one. i couldn't have kept it off had I tried. I certainly appreciate the kindness!

If nothing else, I got an honorable mention - woohoo! Don't think that would even get me a cup of cold coffee. But, that's no problem - I don't drink coffee anyway. I'm not sure, but I think the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd places won $200, $100, $50, respectively.

Again, many thanks!

Alan


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"Ah, look out for the alligators..." Ha! Cool and fun tune for sure! Definitely nails the swamp rock (funk?) genre. I say revisit it if you want, but I like it very much the way it sits right now. And yes, it's a VERY sharp lyric. THANKS for sharing!


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Love the groove happening with this one, Alan, great feel!

Also really like your lyric.

Vocal doesn't sound too bad to me, but if you think you can do it better, go for it!

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Pretty cool stuff!

You sure are on a roll these days with your volume and output!!

Merry Christmas!

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I like it.
Nice funky groove, an unusual (who the f_ck goes into a swamp at midnight?) but nice story, and well sung.
If you have more than 20 chapters to go, I expect more songs from the book.
Well done!


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Perfect, I get to sail from Guitarhackers midnight passage right into the swamp. I love swamp music.

Wow! Great sounds throughout, Alan. Yeah, I'm with you on those terrific lyrics. Great storytelling. The melody is perfect for telling it. Yes, this is quite different, and VERY enjoyable. Can't wait for the book to come out. In the meantime, this gem is so visual to be a movie.


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Cool opening. Funky!
And cool that the funky bass got to take the solo...

A good write. Focused. And swampy!

Enjoyed the listen.

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Funky bass and synths! smile

Fun listen - you certainly built up a soundscape!


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Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Very different, cool funk. An exotic and very vivid story. Haunting mood, I enjoyed those small scary effects. Good vocals, didn't notice any problems. I don't think there is a big need to resvamp this, okay the bass and drum MIDI sounds are bit old fashioned, but modern sounds wouldn't bring anything new to the story or the mood, unless you can make the bass sound like a yawning alligator smile

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Hi Alan.

Wow! That was quite a journey.
I love, love, love the lyrics! Such strong imagery that taps into the senses really, really well.
And the production is awesome! Very creative and mood enhancing.
From start to finish, you had me mesmerised.

Terrific music! Terrific songwriting!
--Noel


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