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#803211 03/08/24 02:23 PM
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I don't write many "real" love songs. This one is.
(The rest are just make-believe)
I had intended to post this on Valentine's Day.
I had written it a few days before and had begun to knock out the production.
But.
The day before Valentine's Day, we had a cold snap and my wife wanted to go camping. She loves to camp in the cold.
So...
I ended up singing this to her, a cappella, on Valentine's Day, in the woods, over a camp fire and a glass of carbernet.
She choked up. A tear, even.
That never happens.
smile


TATTOOED

i've got to admit i'm slowing down
i might not be as astute as i once was
i might forget some silly stuff
anniversaries and such
and give you answers i make up, just because
but ask me if i love you
i know that one cold
you're written into my very being
tattooed on my heart and soul

don't ask me if this world's gonna make it
or if any of us really have a chance
call me clueless, i've got no answers
unless, of course, you're asking for a dance
ask me if i love you
i know that one cold
you're written into my very being
tattooed on my heart and soul

ask me if i love you
i know that one cold
you're written in the fabric of my being
tattooed on my heart and soul
written in the fabric of my being
tattooed on my heart and soul




The BAND:
RealTracks in song: 3502:Bass, Electric, NashvilleRadioBalladA Ev16 075
RealTracks in style: ~1636:Bass, Electric, JazzFunkBreezy Ev16 075
RealTracks in song: 910:Piano, Electric, Rhythm SmoothBallad Ev16 065
RealTracks in style: ~1639:Piano, Electric, Rhythm JazzFunkBreezy Ev16 075
RealTracks in style: ~1637:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm JazzFunkBreezyChords Ev16 075
RealTracks in style: ~1638:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm JazzFunkBreezyMuted Ev16 075
RealTracks in song: 1058:Sax, Alto, Soloist SmoothJazzPoppy Ev16 090
RealTracks in song: 4174:Guitar, Electric, Soloist LatinRock Ev 125
RealDrums in style:JazzFunkGroovin^5-a:Sidestick, Hihat , b:Sidestick, Ride
RealDrums in Song: ShakerSlow16ths



For My Valentine.

Attached Files (Click to download or enlarge) (Only available when you are logged in)
Campin3.jpg (19.51 KB, 173 downloads)
floyd jane #803212 03/08/24 02:44 PM
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Yep, I could imagine this brought your wife a few happy, emotional tears!

Great job, Floyd

Dewey

floyd jane #803217 03/08/24 02:58 PM
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Floyd,

I love this.

This one sounds "real." I almost cried!! smile And I wasn't even drinking!!! Funny how music and lyrics work that way, huh?

smile

Genuinely authentic, and instantly engaging. You can tell from the word go that you're not making it up.

More of these please.

smile

(Great lyrics, by the way.)

floyd jane #803231 03/08/24 04:06 PM
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Floyd, you better copyright this, patent it, trademark it, stamp your name on it, chisel it in stone and burn it onto a gold platter for deep space travel.
Absolutely superb in everyway!
--Steve

PS> Might also want to consider establishing the Floyd Jane School For Advanced Songwriting and Production smile


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floyd jane #803240 03/08/24 05:11 PM
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Hi Floyd,

This is a good song and good backing tracks as well.

One minor suggestion:
Some of the lyrics may have one or two many words in a line and therefore the line may loose a little emphasis. Particularly at the ends of some of the lines and especially when your vocals drift off at the end of lines.

Otherwise very good.

Best Regards
Nigel


Nigel Spiers
Christchurch, New Zealand
info@nzacoustics.com
floyd jane #803249 03/08/24 07:31 PM
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Floyd,

The first thing I noticed was the Soundcloud graphic ... the person with the longer blond hair is much prettier than the one wearing the hat!

Super song! Kind of Country Pop with a touch of very subtle Funk. That sax just wails - PG Music sure does give some great tools to work with. And you work with them as skillfully as anybody, better than most of us.

Hope you're proud of this one (I'd bet you are), as it's as good as music gets.

Alan

Last edited by Al-David; 03/10/24 12:28 PM.

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floyd jane #803268 03/09/24 03:40 AM
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Floyd,

Absolutely beautiful song...

The singing is so tender and heartfelt. A stunning mix and I love the way you use the sax.

Wonderful pictures - you both look great.

Bob

floyd jane #803271 03/09/24 04:41 AM
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Already the beginning puts us in the mood, but you did very well floyd.
Bravo
Laurent

floyd jane #803277 03/09/24 06:23 AM
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“ ask me if i love you
i know that one cold”

That says it all. Very heartfelt delivery. The band is perfect for this lighthearted yet sincere confession of devotion. This one’s in your wheelhouse hands down. You’re very good at these relationship songs. Great mix that’s easy on the ears. Some songs, especially love songs sound better around a campfire.🔥 I speak from experience. Happy Camping, Tom

floyd jane #803295 03/09/24 07:29 AM
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Hi Floyd,

I always thought you only make lovesongs, mostly with unhappy endings, but they were all fantasy!
Except this song. And I can really feel why!
It is a very tender song and sung very good (as always).
At first I thought the sax to be a bit disturbing in this sensitive song, but I was wrong.
it is a very good addition to the atmosphere of the song.

Hans


Hans Berkhout
(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130
floyd jane #803296 03/09/24 07:34 AM
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WOW! Don't even have to listen to know I love it, floyd, not just cuz it's yours, but I love the story told about it's creation and initial presentation. REAL. Now on to the music.

Love the band. Each instrument captures the perfect feel as if you gave them a pep talk about how important this song was going to be. You were right. Of course your voice didn't need any of them because a cappella suits it so well. I keep changing my mind about your best song depending on which one I'm playing, but this one stands above them all.

Hey, Camping In The Cold <-- write it.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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floyd jane #803302 03/09/24 07:51 AM
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Nicely done... I know your wife loved that one.

All the instruments are good choices. Especially that Rhodes electric piano. I'm not a fan of EP's in general but this is a good use of it.

That's a good job.

RE: camping in the cold. Nope.... I did that when I was in the service. Cold weather training they called it....2 man tents.... puddles frozen solid and ....no... not my favorite pass time activity.


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
David Snyder #803312 03/09/24 09:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Dewey_MI
Yep, I could imagine this brought your wife a few happy, emotional tears!

Great job, Floyd

Dewey

Thanks, Dewey.


Originally Posted by David Snyder
Floyd,

I love this.

This one sounds "real." I almost cried!! smile And I wasn't even drinking!!! Funny how music and lyrics work that way, huh?

smile

Genuinely authentic, and instantly engaging. You can tell from the word go that you're not making it up.

More of these please.

smile

(Great lyrics, by the way.)

Much appreciated, My Snyder.
sometimes it's good to let a tear fall...

floyd jane #803347 03/09/24 01:30 PM
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WOW, what an outstanding love song.

All I can say is I loved it.


I want my last spoken words to be "I hid a million dollars under the........................"

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floyd jane #803362 03/09/24 03:57 PM
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Floyd, well, when you nail it, it's nailed forever. Congratulations on a wonderful song and an even more wonderous inspiration. Enjoy each moment...

Last edited by DC Ron; 03/10/24 02:02 AM.

DC Ron
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floyd jane #803383 03/09/24 09:21 PM
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Hi, floyd jane.

Love it! Not complicated, easy going and smooth. Nice setup.

Good vocals and mix. Really like the way the second half kicks off.

Of course, I'm not your target audience, so what I think doesn't matter. wink

Looks like camping was fun for you two. I'm a homebody - I believe nature is out to kill me, what with all those mountain lions, rattlesnakes and weather, so I avoid it when possible.


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
floyd jane #803388 03/09/24 10:40 PM
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There's a frailty, a sincere vulnerability about this song (the way it's written, as well as the way you sing it) which makes it soar. Most probably your best to date. And yes, I also cried. When you're on top form, as here, and you're about to tell a story, no-one beats you - if only because of THAT voice, the voice which sounds like it's being through everything and (here) coming up, out of it all, with a declaration of eternal love. There's ever so much more to you and your musicianship than the voice, of course; however: the voice takes it over the top. So many good songs don't have good singers to sing them; you are the complete package.

"don't ask me if this world's gonna make it
or if any of us really have a chance
call me clueless, i've got no answers
unless, of course, you're asking for a dance"

Sums it up.

Bass Thumper #803448 03/10/24 12:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Bass Thumper
Floyd, you better copyright this, patent it, trademark it, stamp your name on it, chisel it in stone and burn it onto a gold platter for deep space travel.
Absolutely superb in everyway!
--Steve

PS> Might also want to consider establishing the Floyd Jane School For Advanced Songwriting and Production smile

Well, That put a smile on my face! Thanks, Steve!
smile smile smile

floyd jane #803465 03/10/24 02:17 PM
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This is a beautiful love song. Brilliant instrumentation and those horns work a treat. This is another one of your songs I can imagine professionals wanting to cover. It's just excellent.


Some favourite Waoist Adages:
#1: Play on the Way.
#17: Ask not for whom the flower blooms, it blooms for you.
#69: Bring consciousness to it.
#74: On the road to effortlessness, effort must be made.
#105: Be Love Now, the rest will come on its own.
floyd jane #803532 03/11/24 09:46 AM
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Originally Posted by floyd jane
I don't write many "real" love songs. This one is.
(The rest are just make-believe)
Of course we all believe you:
  • a wife who loves to camp in the cold ...
  • a singer-songwriter who knows how to hold a guitar sits around a campfire without a guitar ...
  • a husband who admits that he makes up answers ...

Yeah, very believable!

Hehehe...

Anyway, I really LOVE what you do with your voice, it's so soft and delicate.
Wonderful song with wonderful lyrics and a really good and tasteful arrangement.
I think an unplugged version with just you and a guitar would also work well.


Making bits and bytes sound good...

Goldmania Bella - A One-Man Girlband with no fans
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