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#824834 10/05/24 08:18 AM
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BYOBand Offline OP
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Hi All,

This might be an involved post. Thanks to those who have the time and inclination to read it. So first, I've been working on this song for weeks and I'm having a hard time trusting my artistic choices. I could really use ears to help with three different issues which I list below.

First, I want to say something about the song. It was inspired by a book called The Fifth Mountain by Paulo Coelho, a story of faith and courage during times of testing. I wrote the lyrics back in 2009 after reading the book. Thanks to BIAB, it's finally taking some shape and I find it quite a synchronicity to be working on it because it feels like a relevant message/tribute for friends in Western North Carolina (some still unaccounted for) who were my family for 10 years. I would really like to get it right.

Style is PNOMOOD1.STY (PianoMood1 - Reflective Soundtra)
RealTracks in song: 2046:Piano, Acoustic, Solo-Accompaniment CountryPopJohn Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 695:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm ElecRockArp Ev 120 (A:arp)
RealTracks in song: 1255:Bass, Electric, PopShiningA-B Ev 120
ReadDrums Congas Ev 16 (single)
Loop Chillout_autumn_82_flute_e_minor (treated with flanger and reverb)

My questions in order of importance are:
  • Is the hissing of the flute too annoying? Is there anything I can do about it?
  • Do the congas work or is it just messy? I could not find the drums I wanted. I'm open to suggestions if you think something in the Pro pack could work.
  • What genre would you call this?


And of course, anything else you notice or care to offer...

The song is here: https://on.soundcloud.com/jUgEGhuGnZuR8MfEA


Thanks for your ears and thoughts!

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Sounds fine to me and the congas aren't really noticeable to my ears so maybe they're not needed.

Vic

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Beth, lovely song. Do pray your friends are ok. Know communications are crippling the ability to know the extent of the damage and loss, even still. What a mess...

The "hissing flute" really wasn't noticeable to me. Most flute patches have a breath envelope in the attack. If your flutes were MIDI (and not a loop) you could edit the patch in the synth to reduce the breath attack. But I think it's fine.

The congas at about 2:00 sounded a bit out of sync to me, or at least they didn't feel like they contributed. But I liked the congas at about 4:00 as they seem a nice extra dynamic to drive the song to the conclusion.

Genre? Hmmm. New Age? The relaxing music and message of hope and redemption seem to fit. But I'm neither an expert nor a fan of genre categorization...

BUT...I did love your song!


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Beth - to my ears any genre 'confusion' possibly arises from the unusual chord structure,
some changes are 'edgy' and although I understand them and can follow them instantly on ac guitar, they twist my ears in places?
Having said that - the fact that you've put the sequeence together and can sing over the top indicates a substantial talent
on your part, how it sounds directs it towards potential listeners (or puts them off).
I wouldn't select chords 'because you can' or because they are possible - great songwriters work with chord sequences which 'feel right' and sound harmonious, you have huge ability as a song writer and singer and I get the impression you're about to do great music & recordings!!
Push on Beth, many new discoveries just round the corner!

Just my ears worth,
Carl

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BYOBand Offline OP
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Thanks, Vic!

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Thanks, Ron. That's very helpful; I was thinking similarly on the congas.

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Carl, you're a sweetheart for saying such nice things. I will push on because I'm having fun. God must have given me weird ears because I honestly don't hear what's so unusual about my chords (though I've been told before I "have the wrong ones"). I guess I like a bit of dissonance; it's truer to life. Not that I really know what I'm doing!

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Originally Posted by BYOBand
Hi All,
My questions in order of importance are:
  • Is the hissing of the flute too annoying? Is there anything I can do about it?
  • Do the congas work or is it just messy? I could not find the drums I wanted. I'm open to suggestions if you think something in the Pro pack could work.
  • What genre would you call this?


And of course, anything else you notice or care to offer...

Firstly re genre, I have no clue, but more often than not I haven't a clue what genre a lot of my material is. There are so many genres, subgenres, sub-subgenres and sub-sub-subgenres these days I haven't a clue how so much of my own work.

It's hard to criticise so much that's posted on this forum as so often it comes down to taste and preference, but I personally thought that both the flute and congas were the wrong instruments for the song.

What key is the song in and what's the tempo? Also, which program do you use for mixing the tracks? I only use Audacity as I was familiar with it prior to discovering BiaB, plus it's free and doesn't use up much disc space. I'd actually like to have a go at creating BiaB instrumentation for this song, but I've found through working with vocalists on Fiverr that the way they envisage how to produce a song around lyrics is totally alien to mine. One vocalist totally misunderstood clear instructions re what I wanted and produced her own version, completely ignoring my music, and while what she produced was actually quite brilliant just wasn't at all what I wanted. Re your song, I relate to the lyrics, so I'd choose more positive instrumentation.


Some favourite Waoist Adages:
#1: Play on the Way.
#13: Ask not for whom the flower blooms, it blooms for you.
#58: Bring consciousness to it.
#63: On the road to effortlessness, effort must be made.
#92: Be Love Now, the rest will come on its own.
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Hi Wao,

Yes, a lot comes down to personal preference. Ironically, the flute was somehow essential to me, just wasn't sure the best way to work it in. I appreciate that the lyrics spoke to you (the book is a great read too). While I'm not interested in collaborations on this song at this point, you're always free to play around with it.

Key F
Tempo 105
The chords are attached.

Attached Files (Click to download or enlarge) (Only available when you are logged in)
The Mountain Chords-images-0.jpg (47.56 KB, 42 downloads)
The Mountain Chords-images-1.jpg (43.39 KB, 42 downloads)
The Mountain Chords-images-2.jpg (46.26 KB, 42 downloads)
The Mountain Chords-images-3.jpg (21.54 KB, 42 downloads)
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Ooo, cool how the harmony comes in on the right, then moves towrad the center. Extraordinary lyrics of human compassion. Hope your friends are doing well. I, too, have some folks in the way of the storm. The piano is so good. Nothing about the flute annoyed me. The conga don't really add anything, so I'd dump them. The drums are there for a sense of time, and the seem fine for the song. The song itself is too good to care. I'm not big on any restrictions genre classification imposes. Just create like you do and let others decide where to file it in the music store.


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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BYOBand, first I hope your friends are OK

Second, This is really good.
Loved your vocal and chord progression.
I found the congos distracting and if this were my song I would delete them.
IMHO this song does not need any percussion or drums.
The flute is fine.
For a genre I would put this in the good music category.


When I was young I was poor. But after years of hard, honest, and painstaking work I am no longer young.

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Hi beth,

This is a truly lovely song.

The flute sound just right as is.

I think the congas are just fine - but I seem to be in the minority with that opinion. If anything, I would simply drop them and not replace them with anything.

Genre? That's often a conversation that will present more than one or two opinions. As Mario suggested, it's just good music. But if it were manditory to need a genre for this (posting on some sites require that), I'd go with Alternative Acoustic.

Wishnh you the very best and hope your friends back the States will be fine. best to you,

Alan


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Thank you for your kind comments. I hope your people are also okay.

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Thanks, Mario. There is a developing consensus to ax the congas!

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Thank you for your input, Alan. That's helpful.

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Beth,

This is a beautiful song. I think is sounds great as is. I don't see a reason to change anything.

Bob

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Thanks for that, Bob. But I did make a few changes and think the song is better for it.

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Hi, Beth.

Regarding your three questions:

Is the hissing of the flute too annoying? Is there anything I can do about it?
The version I heard has the flute too far in the background to even hear any hiss. I didn't even remember hearing it once the song was done.

If you've got issues with flute hiss, you can use a low pass filter to cut off some of the high frequency noise.

Do the congas work or is it just messy? I could not find the drums I wanted. I'm open to suggestions if you think something in the Pro pack could work.
Drop the congas, they don't really add much.

What genre would you call this?
It's folk with New Age lyrics - at least, that's what an average listener would discern from the lyrics.


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Thank you, David. I always appreciate your directness.

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Originally Posted by BYOBand
Hi Wao,

Yes, a lot comes down to personal preference. Ironically, the flute was somehow essential to me, just wasn't sure the best way to work it in. I appreciate that the lyrics spoke to you (the book is a great read too). While I'm not interested in collaborations on this song at this point, you're always free to play around with it.

Key F
Tempo 105
The chords are attached.

I've copied the chord sheets. I'll play around with it when I have some free time.


Some favourite Waoist Adages:
#1: Play on the Way.
#13: Ask not for whom the flower blooms, it blooms for you.
#58: Bring consciousness to it.
#63: On the road to effortlessness, effort must be made.
#92: Be Love Now, the rest will come on its own.
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