I am reformed. I once passed out with the car nose in the snowbank, door open, engine running and they drove me home, went and got my truck and told my wife to have a nice night.

The old days.

Now one beer and someone else drives. I had my son bringing me home from a Band practice one night and I was really loaded. The cops at the time all knew me, I was the arson and explosion investigator for the FD. The female cop leans in the window and goes wow John someone has really been drinking, my 19 year old son says ya, but he probably still drives better than me and all I had was a coffee....

I guess I told her she was sexy in that uniform and something to the effect she could handcuff me anytime, which ended up being a running joke. I was involved in a rear end accident where some moron hit and run me, and she was the investigator, and she shows up at my door, and asks if I want to give a statement with or without the handcuffs. I just got a tad red, I would never say sober anything to her like I did that night at the stop and blow, or Ride check. Ride stands for Reduce Impaird Driving Everywhere.

Someone asked me if I wanted to join Mothers Against Drunk Driving or MADD, and I said that ...I have been called a mother a few times but I belong to DAMM, Drunks against mad mothers...oh well bad taste runs in my cheap vino.....

John Conley
Musica est vita