First, I think you captured the anxiety of pending combat very well with the vocal effects and amp effects on that cool bass line. I like the contrast between the verse and chorus as well. I think you a good job with the lyrics.

As for composition tips, I can only offer my humble opinion. I find the most difficult part of songwriting to be exactly what your pointing out, matching the rhythm of the lyric to the music while preserve the "integrity" of both. I've spent hours and worn erasers to a nub on this problem. For me, this where you can really hear how good a songwriter is. There are mega-hits and classic pop/rock standards that violate or ignore this aspect and it just tells me a lot about songwriter.

All I can really say is to try every tip you get; something might work for you (and me).

SD