Beach and botulism are acceptable euphemisms Dan.

My hearing problem is excess wax production. I mean big time excesses. My nurse must swab my ears every Friday or I can't hear but about 50% of what's being said. Once she harvests the potato crop, I hear quite well...for another week.

High level industrial noise and a macho refusal to wear plugs or protectors cost me most of the high end frequencies. Oh, the vanities incidental to youth!